Chapter One

Arrived at the Bangkok(technically) airport. Remember reading to go to the taxi meter line and that the price to Pattaya was negotiable. The girl at the podium told me it would be 1,500 baht. Told her I would pay 1,200 and she looked at me with a puzzled look and then started talking to one of her coworkers, called me “ki nio”(cheap), I smiled, she agreed to the price. As I am walking to the cab and smiled at her and said, “mai ki nio, talat mahk”..in shorthand way told her that I am not cheap but very smart. She looked in shock, knowing I pretty much understood most of what she said.

Took an hour and 15 minutes. I would normally take the shuttle but the flight landed at 1am and my only option was taxis. Arrived at my hotel, checked in, lugged my luggage up a couple flights of stairs and got situated. I was ready to sleep right away and just did not have the energy after traveling all day (combined bus, taxi, plane travel was over 7 hours). Decided to take a shower and call it a night. I was very impressed with the hotel room and it was cheap at 500 baht a night.








Woke up around 11am, exchanged about $1,000US, went back to put it in the safe and then went searching for breakfast. Ate at the Butcher’s Arms Pub for their 110 baht breakfast. Excellent English breakfast and it is a real nice indoor facility with great aircon. My body was already getting it’s ass kicked by the repressive humidity so this was an immediate need. Place had plenty of brass and wood and looked to be a great place to watch Man City on the weekends.



Noticed a 100 baht massage place and went inside to try it out. Older (35ish) lady with a nice face and floppy tits took me upstairs to a rather rustic environment. She took me in the bathroom to wash me head to toe, including scrubbing my ass. Eventually she got down to the massage which lasted about an hour and was excellent. I knew I would be sore the next day. When she rolled me over, I had morning wood. She commented that my little guy had woken up and would make him feel better with a rub n’ tizug for 200 baht extra….figured, what the hell. Just closed my eyes and pretended she was Adriana Lima. She then got naked in the shower with me and scrubbed me down from head to toe. Scrubbed my unit, he woke up, started fingering her, she bent over and said "put inside I horny"...30 seconds later she was washing out my milk carton kids from her cooch….no charge. I was so ashamed for going hoggin’ so early in the day and without alcohol.



Don’t worry, photos of girls in future chapters…

"She looked in shock, knowing I pretty much understood most of what she said" That had to have been a priceless look!

Room looks nice for 500bht, what kind of internet connection did they have in the room?

Are you sure you were there in December? I don't remember the humidity being repressive at all.

LMAO

"she bent over and said "put inside I horny"...30 seconds later she was washing out my milk carton kids from her cooch….no charge. I was so ashamed for going hoggin’ so early in the day and without alcohol."

Humidity got better during the week and the internet connection was great. 4 hours during the day, the humidity and heat sucked....nothing like April/May though.

Can you share the name and location of this 500-baht hotel? That's a good deal

That's one of the plusses of Pattaya over AC. You get way better value on lodging in Pattaya. Crazy low price for a hell of a room. You can't beat that...

I'd have to think that posting so many photos of one's awesome 500 baht room and not posting a single detail about where to find it was a brainfart?

I also LOL at the gnarly massage "why not". My Pattaya grandma massage experience years back where I just screwed her watermelon tits was quite pleasant, but my skin crawls a little remembering the GFE she goaded me into when I went back for seconds!

China Garden Inn. Place is booked at least 3 months in advance. Tons of nice hotels in the Soi Bukhao area and Soi LK Metro.

China Garden Inn is on Soi Lengkee.

The only downside to staying on Soi Lengkee is that it is a long walk from where the Baht bus drops you off at the corner of Soi Diana and 2nd road.

The nice thing about that area is that Soi LK Metro is an up and coming destination for a lot of new gogo bars.

Do you remember how much the jacuzzi rooms were at China Gardens, and about the internet...was it wired or wireless?

Wireless internet. The jacuzzi rooms were 1,400 I believe.

There is a baht bus that goes each way on Soi Bukhao.

Blazers

No pics of Grandma so we can all criticize your bad taste in of pooying??

LOL

What an incredible price for this beautiful hotel room. I will have to ask if they rent rooms by the month when I get there.