Around this time Estefani called wanting to see me before I left. I told her no because I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to get her sick. She told me she was sad because she would miss me and gave me her e-mail to write.
I took one last dip in the Jacuzzi, got dressed and went to say goodbye to Mr.Ed. I had seen him earlier in the apartment and asked him for toilet paper. He seemed very civil and I thought that maybe we were finally getting past our issues. But when i went to say goodbye he was no where to be found in the apartment. I know after everything that happened that this will sound stupid but the fact that Mr.Ed didn't say goodbye hurt and infuriated me. I could understand his anger over the money situation but after 2 trips together and a week in Colombia I expected some common courtesy. Whatever. So I took off, the trip to the airport was uneventful, as was leaving Medellin but it got interesting once I arrived in Bogota.
I don't think I will ever take a connecting flight home in Colombia. What a frigin nightmare. First you arrive in the main terminal which you have to take a bus to baggage. At this point you need to walk out of the street and go up the stairs to international departures. You go through security again. Then you hit immigration to then go through what I can only describe a gauntlet of stores and finally your at the gates. Of course my gate was the last one at the end of the terminal.
Even this wasn't so bad but once I get to the gate I have to stand in line for 40 minutes while each passengers passport and ticket is checked with a microscope. This is just to be able to sit at the gate in order to board the plane! Of course you have drug sniffing dogs making the rounds and guards checking certain people's bags. Yep Colombia does not play.
I get two texts at this point. One from Estefani telling me that she missed me and to write her. The other from Demi telling me that she thought I was a great guy and had really needed my company that night.
We board the flight 20 minutes late, turns out some old bat fell off her wheelchair so they had to have paramedics check her out. Then we boarded and stayed still connected to the gate for an hour. Turns out technical difficulties so we disembark to wait at the gate for another hour while they fixed the problem. I later found out it was a censor issue. We then embark again and stay on the runway for a half hour until we finally take off.
At this point I am feeling like crap and I know I am sick. Once we arrive I breeze through customs and hop in a cab to head home. It always amazes me that in a few hours on a plane it feels like I have entered another world. I quickly fell asleep in my cushy bed and woke up hours later with a sore throat that quickly got so bad that I could not even swallow my own spit with our horrible pain.
Yep, Demi more gave me a STI. I had strep throat.
I was sick for over a week, I had to go to the emergency room to get shot full of antibiotics and a steroid in order to slowly start to heal. You know its bad when the nurse checking you out says "Holy Shit!!" once you open your mouth. On the plus side because of this I wound up loosing 20 pounds so there's your silver lining.
To this day my throat is still not 100%. One of my tonsils was scarred by the strep throat so it gives me irritation when I talk for too long or sing.
I wrote Estefani twice to see how she was doing and test her claim of her missing me. She has yet to write me back.
Final Thoughts & Random Observations
So that was my virgin trip to Colombia. As I said in my intro it was full of rookie mistakes, drama and brutal honesty. I fucked the hottest girls I had ever been with in my life and also got fucked (metaphorically speaking) from time to time.
I lost a friend and trip buddy. I am broke, so there are a few dinners of ramen noodles and grilled cheeses in my future.
But I would do it again in a heartbeat. I know I sound like a lunatic right? This trip was fucking awesome! It was full of adventure and some of the best sex I had in my life. My friends I have found paradise and want to return as soon as possible. Fuck Thailand and D.R! Medellin is where it's at.
I think now that I have learned the ropes through my fuck ups my next visit will be amazing. You know I always was searching for a Mongering hole of my own where I could fit in and be surrounded by multiple hot ladies to repeat with over and over again.
Here are a few random observations that I couldn't fit in the narrative..
1) Apparently I have a accent speaking Spanish. The girls said it was a boricua accent and shockingly it is considered sexy....or it could have just been my money.
2) Diet Pepsi and Coke are named Light Pepsi and Coke
3) Everyone uses cell phones where you need to buy minutes for. You can recharge pretty much everywhere. Also girls will do tricks to save their minutes like calling and immediately hanging up so you get charged the minutes when you call back. Or as Demi showed us switching sim cards.
4) When you buy water in the street they sell it to you in a sealed bag you tear open a corner off with your teeth to drink.
5) In the Poblado area street beggars are pretty creative. One was dressed as a predator, I saw jugglers, a mime and at one point acrobats.
6) There are lots of graphic design places here's a pic of one that I thought was a comic store.
7) I found one tiny comic store in Medellin and they had everything we have in the states and Spanish translated comics from the USA but no local Colombian comics. I guess the local nerds are too busy getting laid.
8) Other than back packers and expats, I did not see a lot of young American tourists or fellow mongers.
9) Lays has fried chicken flavored potato chips. These things are awesome! We need to bring them to the states!
10) Every woman my age or younger was at least 6 or above and 70% of them had fake tits.
So thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading about my adventure as I had living it and I hope you weren't too annoyed with my blunders. But i hope you rookies and you thinking of taking your virgin trips to Colombia learn from my mistakes. Medellin will pretty much be my repeat destination for a while. I hope to eventually go twice a year, if not more. Maybe I should change my name to MedellinCoqui? Here is my last picture of Estefani and mua. I had a bad hair day so I am not my best.
Photo: Estefani 25
I love Colombia!!!! Bye!
