I have a buddy who has lived in Thailand for the past several years, I have known him for 6-7 years and he is a computer programmer, a nice guy, NOT a monger in any way what so ever.. He actually believes in monogamy, in Thailand, WTF?…
That’s like going to McDonalds for a salad, or going to a hooker for a hug.. I never said he was smart.
He has to leave Thailand every 6 months due to his travel visa, he simply packs and moves over to the Philippines for a few months and then moves back.
I have always wanted to visit Thailand & the Philippines and last year I decided to treat myself for my 41st B-Day.
I called my buddy up and asked him when his visa is getting close to expiring to let me know, I will fly over in advance and help him move.
I own my own company here in the U.S., and I set it up with the intention to operate anywhere I can bring my laptop and a cell phone.
So, I book my flight leaving from Ft. Lauderdale to Atlanta, transfer to Korean Air and fly to Seoul South Korea, transfer and fly into Phuket – TOTAL 23hours. and $1,600usd
Flying from Ft. Lauderdale to Atlanta no problems. I transfer to Korean Air and take my seat for the long leg of my journey on a Boeing 757 that each seat has its own power outlet. Set up the laptop and over 50 DVD’s in my carry on.. I’m set!
Or so I thought, the old Korean couple who sat next to me smells like they ate a dog for lunch….FUCKIN GREAT!
Korean Air feeds you like crazy!! Super HOT flight attendants!!
Land in Phuket at 11pm the same day I took off…I still can’t wrap my head around that.. but never mind about that.
My buddy is standing there as I clear customs, the only tall white guy in a sea of little Asian people, with a sign that says “MOFO”
We get to the Chang hotel in Phuket after midnight. I have no Baht on me.. They just handed me my room key and told me that we will settle the bill in the morning.
I don’t think most hotels are like that in Thailand, maybe it has to do with my buddy living there?
I wake up 9am, no jet lag.. strange.
My buddy meets me downstairs and we have a nice breakfast and that it is now officially my B-Day
He gives me the lay of the land, where to eat, where to shop, etc…basically it sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher to me WA,WA, WA,WAWAWA..Whatever!! Where are the WOMEN?!?
He recommends that I go get a REAL Thai massage up the street from the hotel.
I’m thinking HAPPY ENDING.. oh boy….WRONG!! This little 80 pound chick bent me like I didn’t have a fucking spine.. I felt like a god damn pretzel!!
An hour later, I come limping through the hotel lobby…And he’s just sitting there with a big shit eating grin on his face. ASSHOLE!
I do the usual first day stuff, exchange money, get a SIM card for Thailand..etc.
My buddy tells me that we are going to Patong later that night to celebrate my B-Day, and I should get some rest…WTF?
Never heard of Patong…I have never read about it in ANY trip report what so ever, at this point I have 0% trust in my so called “buddy”.
That night we head into the next town over from Phuket to Patong, there is a central street where at night the cops block off each end and it nothing but a major footpath. Very similar to Pattaya’s walking Street and about as crazy.
There is a MEGA BAR there called the Tiger bar…OMG, I have been in some big bars, but this place is ridiculous. Under 1 roof, there must have been 40 smaller bars, and each one having there own theme. As your walking past each bar, women are grabbing you and trying to seduce you to their bar. So we find a bar that has the most amount of hot chicks.
My buddy and I start ordering long Island Ice tea…There is something we called “the tower of power”, it cost’s about $30usd and it holds 1-2 gallons of booze, needless to say we started to get every girl there drunk. We went through two of them. 2am rolls around, closing time, my buddy is done for the night, he heads back to the hotel.
I stay and invite 4-5 of the girls out for breakfast. Apparently this is unheard of in Thailand, VERY common in the U.S. So I walk out of the bar with a gaggle of girls. They know exactly where to get some cheap street food late at night.
I wind up bringing one back to the hotel, no ID needed to be left at the desk, fuck her all night.. My buddy’s room is next to mine. All night long he gets to hear the sound of my headboard hitting the wall and a Thai spinner screaming as she is riding me bareback…Payback is a bitch!
Next morning, I walk her out to the TukTuk stand right in front of the hotel give her 1000 baht…See ya’… later that night repeat. Just a different girl each night.
I was there for 2 weeks never had to negotiate upfront prices ever.. Just hand them what you have in your pocket afterwards.. no more than 1,000 baht. Remember a few years ago that place was wiped out by a monster tsunami.. any money is good money for them.
Now I’m a bit of a security & gadget freak, here are a few Items I brought with me because I have read that in certain areas of the Philippines, they do NOT like Americans, better to be safe than sorry.
A brush/knife that is made of hard plastic, yes I did take it through every airport security checkpoint in my carry on, no problems. Reason being, just my luck I would get on a flight and some freak would try to skyjack it.
This small unobtrusive little black device is a cell phone jammer.. about $100usd on the internet. It kills ALL cell phone signals within a 25 foot radius, including text msgs.. Not only is it great to keep the bitches off their cell phone when mongering, I use it when I go to the movies, out to dinner. I got the idea from a friend of mine who is a school teacher in Toronto, she keeps a more powerful model in her desk…She turns it on, “O.K. class we are going to have a surprise quiz”… It stops her students from texting answers to one another.
If you notice the two cigarette lighters, the one on the left is actually pepper spray/mace.
Purchased on eBay, very cheap, but effective.
One night at Tiger bar, I set my cigarettes & lighter on the bar, I also set the pepper spray out as well…
I wasn’t paying attention, the girl behind the bar accidentally grabs my pepper spray lighter it and discharges it.
Thank GOD the fans were behind my buddy & me blowing towards the bar…But the rest of the bar staff was NOT happy with her. They ALL got some in the face. A lot of watery eyes and noses running. At least I now know this shit works!!
Photos: Lighter 01 02
There are only 2 things I didn’t like about Thai girls.. 1. In that part of the country, most chicks have tattoos, not a little tramp stamps, but serious ink… I am not a fan of major ink. 2. English is not a primary language.
In Patong you will hear girls asking “massage?” more times than anywhere else in Asia
So after 2 weeks of screwing my brains out, we head to Pattaya for 2 days then to Bangkok for another 2 days…Then the Philippines.
Pattaya, IMHO Is kind of like Las Vegas of Asia…Wild, off the chain, ladyboys that put Beyonce’ to shame…..But like Vegas, It’s played out!!
My buddy took me to a ping pong show, and didn’t warn me what it was…Yet again, ASSHOLE!!
Didn’t pick up any women in Pattaya, they were jaded and up front about cost, and expensive!!! They don’t like to negotiate.
Not to mention, I was concerned about accidentally picking up a ladyboy…I don’t trust my friend not to warn me If I were to…That sick bastard would probably laugh his ass off, meanwhile I am in therapy for the rest of my life!
Bangkok, 2 days, did the usual tourist shit with my buddy.. FUCKING BORING
Hello Philippines…My buddy and I land in Manila for 1 night, check into out hotel rooms, funny after Phuket, from that point on we stayed on separate floors for the rest of our trip.. LOL.
Our hotel is by an area in downtown Manila where the strip bars are…I can not remember the name of the area.. McCarthur maybe?.Just look up Tune Hotel, Manila. Anyways, we walk into a strip bar…There were 5 girls each greeting us at the door. OMG I was in heaven.
The girls swoop us up and take us to tables, we each have 5 spinners each massaging us rubbing our crotch, and of course asking for lady drinks.. My buddy can’t handle it, and he’s outta there. I hang, buy the girls a round of LD’s , this one hot little spinner yanks my dick out and with another girl blocking mamasans view starts sucking my dick.
and I ask what time they get done with work? They tell me 7pm, GREAT, my hotel is just around the corner called Tune Hotel. At 7pm the two I didn’t want to fuck come over and they tell me that the other two I do want to fuck will be along shortly…Yeah, right!
I tell them I only have 1,500 pesos on me…With no objections, I fuck them both.
We finish up..2 seconds after I nut, there is a knocking at my door, it’s the two I want to fuck. Now, I wasn’t lying about only having 1,500 pesos…I just wasn’t going into my safe where I have 4,000usd in hundreds. So, I hand them the 1,500 pesos. They look at each other and they say, More? I show them my empty wallet. SORRY…
I told them up front I only have 1,500 pesos…They all 4 leave, and 2 leave well fucked but PISSED OFF!!
Next stop Boracay Beach, Spent several weeks there..Not much for mongering, just walking up and down the beach at night, you can meet a few hotties. No strip clubs..
This is where I was introduced to Tanduay Rum, I carry flasks where ever I go, This rum you buy for $2usd per bottle, I fill up my flasks with rum, out to the bar, order a Coke.. I saved SO much money by doing this.
After a few weeks of kite boarding, drinking every day, and trying to meet spinners.. Boracay gets boring. NOT A MONGERING SPOT
Off to Cebu for a few weeks.. I stayed on Mactan Island, I stayed on the island most of the time rather than spend a big wad of cash on taxis to and from Cebu City. There are a few KTV bars on the island, but expensive, I was getting a normal hour long massage every day for 150 pesos or $3.75usd
I made friends with all the massage girls, wound up sleeping with 4-5 of them when they would get done with work.
Cebu girls want a boyfriend or husband, VERY different than other parts of the country from my reading of the trip reports. If you want the GFE head to Cebu…
Back to Manila, we stayed in Makati for a few weeks: All I can say is head to the mall in Makati…There is a bar/club called Havana (CH Link) with outside tables, get a good seat at one of the tables with a clear view of the passing foot traffic… OMFG That is THE spot for meeting high class pieces of ass…Models everywhere, I was there every night with my flasks filled with Tanduay rum. Half way thru my stay In Makati, I met a model and spent the rest of my time with her, still at Havana Club each night, but I would take her home.
After a few weeks in Manila, It was time for my buddy to head back to Thailand to his girlfriend, and me back to the U.S.
At least my flight home would be better than sitting next to smelly Koreans…WRONG!
I get to my seat, the guy sitting next to me is from Atlanta, I swear he ate a shit sandwich right before getting on the plane. And he wanted to chat... I quickly booted up my laptop and threw in a movie, trying to get this guy from talking to me, because his breath could gag a maggot. Every time the flight attendant would offer us food or drink, this guy wouldn’t eat or drink anything the entire trip…So I was not a happy camper. One thing I did notice, the flight attendants weren’t so HOT anymore!! That’s what happens when you get spoiled on HOT Thai & Filipina pussy!!!
In closing, I spent several months over there; Number of chicks I had sex with 20-30, the total I spent was about $5,600usd. Almost $4,000 cash and $1,600 airfare
I spent the time over there when the presidential election of 2012 was going on…I have a unlisted phone number & I am on the national DO NOT CALL list, when I got home, I had almost 40 messages on my machine ALL from election campaigns…I plan to leave the country on an extended trip every 4 years around election time.
I have found two diamonds in the rough that is untouched by mongers
Patong, Thailand
Makati mall, Philippines
Good Luck,
Kid
