Pattaya 101 Quiz -- Multiple Choice
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2013/11 Costar - Thailand, November 2013:
Pattaya 101 Quiz -- Multiple Choice
| By Costar on Thursday, December 12, 2013 - 08:39 pm: Edit |
PATTAYA 101 -- MULTIPLE CHOICE QUIZ
1) You're heading out of your hotel and press the elevator down-button. When the doors open, a lone lady (either Thai or farang) is in the elevator. You:
a) Step in. Who cares?
b) Stay out and wait for the next elevator.
2) You take a run up to Soi 6 to pick up your girlfriend but she is not among the girls in the bar at the moment. She is upstairs getting ready, so you wait for her to come down. One of the girls in the bar, who seems to be a real loud-mouth, keeps talking to you in English. You:
a) Chat with her.
b) Completely ignore her.
c) Refuse to reply except in Thai, and then only to (rather bluntly) say something like, "I don't understand. You cannot speak English. Speak Thai."
3) You had an argument with (or you screwed around on) a bar girl and are trying to get back together with her (or she's trying to get back together with you). She sends a text message to "come to bar at 20.30," but that's all she wrote and it makes you suspicious. You get the feeling that she is up to something. You:
a) Go, believing that she is going with you tonight for at least short-time, slam-dunk.
b) Go cautiously, and without expecting anything.
c) Don't go. Find something else to do. And possibly write her off tah-loord-bpai (forever).
4) You met a new massage girl that you hit it off especially well with. You're in love again. 
She voluntarily does things that you like, both in and out of bed, and it's wonderful. She agrees to stay with you for the rest of the day and all night for 2500 baht. After a nice dinner, you hit the ATM. You decide to:
a) Give her the money right then, so that that's taken care of.
b) Make it a point to not give her the money until the next morning.
ANSWER KEY:
1) Answer (b) is correct because it eliminates the possibility of (1) your girlfriend seeing you come out the elevator with the lady and jumping to conclusions, or (2) (worse!) one of her lying girlfriends seeing you and embellishing the story by saying you were holding hands with the woman, etc.
2) Either (b) or (c) to prevent the conniving bitch --who likely speaks the best English out of the bunch-- from lying to your girlfriend and the other girls that you were hitting on her. Esarn bar girls are incredibly spiteful and jealous, and they are very glib liars.
3) Answer (b) might be OK, but (c) is better. If your poker-sense tells you that it's a set-up, then it definitely is! She might be lying to her new (and big/tough) customer that you've been harassing her and threatening to kick his ass (all the while she's beckoning you to come back), in an attempt to get your ass kicked. That's a common set-up. Another set-up would be flirting with some guy in front of you just to piss you off.
A truly serious set-up would be her waiting until you're asleep, sending a text message to "come now," and letting some Thai guys into your room for who knows what --but I've never personally known anyone that that happened to. Those are the guys who end up in http://www.pattayaone.net/ I suspect that at least some of the farang who take the "Pattaya plunge" were tossed off of the balcony. But this is probably very rare.
4) Answer (b) is correct, and it should be obvious. But I fell for it myself on a trip earlier this year. The scenario played out as described, but she had my guard down so much that I gave her the money after dinner. I should have known better. Come bed time she made a long phone call, then came in from the balcony all upset and alarmed that her mother was in the hospital. I realized I was being ripped off but was so pissed about her not spending the night (we argued) that I didn't think to demand a refund until after I threw her out. Live and learn.
How do you tell an experienced Pattaya monger from someone who's never been? When a Thai girl says that her mother is in the hospital, he laughs! 
How do you know you're an experienced Pattaya monger? You feel bitter more often than you feel thrilled.
Pattaya is fun in the short term and a swindle in the long term. The longer you stay or the more you visit, the more you present yourself as a hopeless sex addict. Learning Thai just demonstrates to them how far you've fallen and further justifies their efforts to juice you to the maximum extent possible. What do you actually win if you manage to outplay the bargirls at their own game?
| By Costar on Sunday, December 15, 2013 - 04:43 am: Edit |
+1 to those words of wisdom.
I suspect that the mongers who keep it to short-time are happier (less cynical) than habitual long-timers.
(Message edited by costar on December 15, 2013)
I'm glad you took my comments well. I'm not totally against LT but it is pretty rare in Thailand nowadays and expectations should be set accordingly. Having a relationship with a bargirl? Fuhgetaboutit
| By Costar on Monday, December 16, 2013 - 08:09 pm: Edit |
But I don't believe in sexual addictions. 