A month ago, in the middle of August, I finally got a chance to visit Uruguay, more specifically, Montevideo for the very first time.

I had ready all the reports from this and other boards, plus I had my trusty Lonely Planet guide to Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay.

Going in, I knew from my research that most hobbyists don’t give Montevideo 5-star reviews. But my trip was more than just about hobbying—I like to drink, see the sights, and eat the food too.

I took the Buquebus directo from Buenos Aires. My trip left the big BA around three and pulled into MV three hours later. I highly recommend taking that trip at least once. It is well worth the $50 USD one-way. Much more convenient than doing the boat to Colonia then bussing to MV.

First thing I would caution when leaving the MV Buquebus terminal is getting a regular city cab. Of course there are a few remises out front that will try to grab you first—they did me. I ended up paying around $6 USD to my hotel. A city cab would have done it for about $1.50 USD.

The first thing I noticed (it was already dark when I arrived) was that MV was not at all like BA. Much smaller, but in many ways run down and in need of repair. Especially the sidewalks.

I stayed at the Hotel Ideal, recommended in Lonely Planet as clean and friendly. It was a nice place, no-frills, but decent bed, cable TV with like 100 channels, lot of English stations, and the bathrooms were fine. The real nice thing was the price—250 pesos Uruguayos—less than $10 USD. The location, turned out to be perfect.

If you stay there, they have nice free city maps in the lobby. From my hotel (on Calle Colonia), one block north of the main drag, Calle 18 de Julio, I was within easy walking distance of most of the places I had read about on the board. And pleasantly surprised to see a big Casino just two blocks down from the front door of the hotel. I went to the Casino about every night to change money and hang around a bit before heading to the whiskerias.

My first night there I asked the guy at the front desk of the hotel about a decent restaurant. He had some flyers about “El Toro” parrillada on Calle Andes 1313, one block over, and two blocks south (crossing 18 de Julio). Went there and enjoyed a real nice meal and a couple of litros of Pilsen beer for like $4. That’s right, $4. As I was eating I heard some loud music coming through the wall from next door. I asked the cook what it was he told me a whiskeria.

Little did I know when I walked in about a half hour later that I would spend quite a bit of time and quite a few pesos there in there the next few days. I saw some decent chicks there that night, but not BA quality. Did not partake that evening.

The next afternoon I stopped by a travel agency around the corner from the hotel and asked the guy if he knew someone who could drive me around MV for a couple of hours for like $15 USD. He called an old buddy of his, and he came by and gave me the tour. Real nice guy, no English, but well-educated and a MV native. We started off going to Mercado del Puerto—a must for all tourists. Great place to eat or souvenir shop. Lots of food stalls. I ate a huge, thick, cuadril de lomo, had a litro, fries, salad, the works for like $6 USD. In the US it would have been at least a $20 USD. We continued the tour taking the highway coastline highway.

I got a chance to see the city in the daytime. After you leave the city center, you realize MV is indeed a big city—nothing on the BA scale, but still big. The seafront highway is quite scenic and would be a great place to walk, jog etc…Very clean and safe area.

Finally ended the tour. I went over to my whiskeria, believe it or not, the name was so innocous that I have forgotten it. Something like “Happy Time” It was still afternoon, so they had a different crew than the night shift. I picked out a nice “morrocha” from Uruguay. Not totally black, probably about 60 percent. She turned out to be my “favorita” for the next few days.

She was very good in the cama, but most everything was covered. Loved to kiss, loved to have her nice natural titties sucked etc…as the old saying goes “A hand in the bush, er, a bird in the hand…”

Not only was she fun in bed, she was interesting to talk to. She told me about the large number of sailors who make it to the port of Montevideo and find their way to the whiskerias. I myself saw plenty of Russian and Chinese sailors every day. In addition, something you see in MV that you don’t see in BA is quite a few native blacks. Not a big number but considerable.

During the next few days I guess I hit about every place there was to be hit in that central area. Pikaros, Baires, Moustache, Hot Nights etc, but always came back to my favorite place next to “El Toro” restaurant. The other joints were quite expensive in comparison as well.

A word of caution, across the street from “my favorite whiskeria” on Andes is a place called “Encuentros Placenteros” a whorehouse in a highrise. I think the address was 1364 Andes. You walk up, there’ll be a guy outside, he’ll walk you up a flight of stairs to an elevator that takes you up to the place—a bar with quite a few working girls.
That night I had a pretty unenthusiastic experience for like $20 USD.

On my next to last day there, in the afternoon, I had a BAD experience during the afternoon. I walked in, sat down and had a tall, statuesque brunette come up and start some conversation. She was quite attractive, but I had not planned on doing anything there. Well, anyway, she talks me into going to the room for like $400 pesos. I thought “what the hell.”

Turns out the 400 was for the room only , her services would be extra. THEN she suggested she get one of her girlfriends and we do a 2 on 1. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. They got naked, I got naked. I got the distinct feeling that I was getting “played.” But as they say “a hard penis has no conscience.”
I ended up dropping about $50 USD to them for about five minutes of sex. An astronomical sum in MV.

PLEASE, don’t be stupid like me if you go there. Make sure you clarify what you are getting into before going to the room. Set the price first. Don’t be a sucker. If I would have played my cards right, I probably could have had the tall girl for a total of 400, 500 max BUT I DIDN’T ASK.

Another note, in MV they charge a two percent commission on traveler’s checks, unlike Argentina. So change your checks in BA before crossing the wide, wide Rio Plata.

All in all, I’m glad I went. Now I know what MV is like. There is fun to be had for the hobbyist, no doubt about it. I had some touts hand me some “volantes” about other private places I never did get a chance to visit.

One night, as I was stumbling back to the hotel, walked into a whiskeria that was near closing time. Sat down and had a nice girl approach. We worked out a deal for $500 pesos (less than $20). We walked back to my hotel, went right into my room and the desk guy never said a word. She was probably the hottest sex I had there, and the only time I brought a gal back to the hotel with me. All other places have on-site.

Would I go back? Yes, but probably won’t. There are just too many places in Argentina I’d like to see—like Santa Fe, Parana, Tucuman and the list goes on. And I didn’t even mention Asuncion…

Thanks for the MV report. This is the only good MV report that I have seen.

OH

WAITING DAY AFTER DAY FOR PIRATE'S REPORT--A WILD WEEKEND WITH THE ARGENTINIAN VERSION OF THE HILTON TWINS. DECIME CUANDO, CUANDO, CUNADO