This is my first time posting to this board so feel free to give me any pointers if you have any constructive thoughts. I've been a member for a while and read things from time to time and have seen enough people complain about how nobody posts anything helpful anymore .. I've been officially guilited in to it so here goes. … (FYI .. This is long so you can skim or skip over to the end if you'd like .. sorry .. just a lot of detail ahead)

First time back in Rio since 2009 .. Too damn Long, oh how I've missed you.
Landed on May 1st after long day of travel. Blew through customs in record time, the guy barely even looked at me. Went upsatairs to find an ATM and ended up talking to a sales girl that I asked if she spoke English. When she said no I asked her where the ATM is in Portuguese and she laughed and said, "you speak good Portuguese" .. who knew that that was gonna be a good opener. Anyway got her number .. we'll see what progresses from there (phone Portuguese is hard as hell for me, better in person) . Grabbed a cab upstairs near departures at GIG (I'm not a big fan of the haggling and beggin that goes on down in arrivals near customs).
Cab driver quoted me R80. Seemed fine, so I took it. He was cool. My portuguese came suprisingly roaring back. Anyway, get to my Air BnB in Copa in about 30 minutes (no traffic .. WHAT???). THe apt was nice .. 1.5 blocks from the beach right off Av. Nossa Senhora de Copa.
Got settled and exhausted. Went to take a shower and realized I forgot a few essentials. I ran out to the store and picked up a few things, came back and KO'd.
When I woke up I decided to take a shower ( was feeling pretty gross). THe shower was so damn small WTF .. reminds me of Europe, any way .. said F' it, they have showers at massage places I'll take one there, hopefully bigger and I was eager to get the shenanigans going. I was about to go ass wild in Brazil. I sit down and I plot out my plan of attack on Brazil. Massagem Rua Tonelero ( .. on a side note... if you haven't read and gotten through Bubba's Brazil report … do it .. it's epic, not to be out done by Bwana, they're just different, both equally amazing). Ok back to it .. Rua Tonelero was first on the list, plan was to shower there .. get a massage and whatever else. Then head home eat, relax, change and head to 4x4. I wanted to start off this trip with a bang (pun intended) .. and time was in limited supply. So I walk down there ( not far form my place ) .. with backpack with change of clothes in tow, find the place, ring the bell and NOTHING .. NO ANSWER .. NOONE .. God Damn it .. ok ok .. maybe the guide was a little dated it was written in 2010 and updated in 2012 .. two years is a long time and maybe things have changed. Ok .. no need to blow a gasket, calm down fella don't worry .. just means more in my budget for and my bodily fluid reserves for 4x4. Turn around head home .. grab some take out and decide to brave the inevitable tiny shower .. (FYI .. I'm 6'4 and 250 muscular) so … REALLLY not looking forward to this shower.

All showered and full belly .. ready to go. 4x4 here I come. Walk the couple of blocks to the Metro patiently watch the stops go by till finally I'm at Uruguaiana (sp?). OH boy .. excitedly scurry up the stairs .. head down Buenos Aires cross the main street and start to feel the wind slowly leave my body .. why the hell does the street look so damn empty ??? I'm looking at building numbers and there it is .. #44 and NOONE IN SIGHT .. GOD DAMN it .. no I'm pissed .. only a few days in Rio and not a day to waste and it's looking like day 1 is a FAIL. Ok regroup regroup .. let's go home him the boards and figure this out. BTW did I tell you that it was May 1st .. anyone who knows Brazil ( which obviously I didn't) will understand. I ride the metro all the way back home, not too happy and very impatient at this point. Get home and start researching my options and realize it's f'in Labor Day here. Ughh WTF … everything shuts down on Labor day. Ok there's gotta be options. Someone on the boards says VM .. ahh no thanks .. many have had ok experiences there, but the idea of people pissing, vomiting and shitting in the street where I'm going to find ass just rubs me wrong .. I'd rather get tazered right in the nuts. Ok what else .. ok Barbarella, that's an option .. even though I wasn't looking forward to blowing my entire budget on the first night. But fuck it I came here to be debaucherous so let's do this.
I hop the cab (meter on).. and R8 later I'm there. Walk in and there's a decent number of women there maybe 25. And almost all of them are 7-8. Ok I'll bite. The door man sits me down and immediately a morena in a white silk man dress shirt sits down. She's got nice legs, nice full lips, nice rack, pretty face ( all be it in the dark) ok go on.... She sits down and we get to talking. She speaks a little english and I speak more than a little Portuguese so this is going ok. Her friend joins and is not my type AT ALL .. I don't want to be rude but I'm totally ignoring the friend .. ha .. things are going well. She asks me to buy her a drink and one for her friend. Ahh hell no. I don't buy girls in clubs in the US drinks, I'll be damned if I do that shit here. I feed her a line that if she was my GF, then she would pay for nothing, but until that day. I don't buy drinks for girls at clubs, it worked she left that alone. But I don't want to commit to just one yet I wanna see what else is happening in this place, but she stuck to me like stink on shit. And I wanted to check out a couple other places in the area. I make up an excuse, pay my R70, make sure I can come back for my second drink and not get charged for entrance or whatever and bounce vowing to return (maybe) .. I quickly check out the other spots in the area and Balcony, it is woeful. OMG … did all the Brazilian mud-ducks come out tonight .. ok back to Barbarella it is. The second I walk back in the door here she comes .. SHIT .. so we sit down and we start to talking. She leaves to go smoke (grosses me out but whatever) .. and two other girls come up to me .. (now you frequenters can give me some advice here) .. the minute they heard that I was talking to someone else or the minute she came back .. they bounced .. did she already claim me ?? Damn it .. she leaves again and this black girl stands right in front of me and is dancing .. OMG my mouth just hung open. I am a firm believer that if a girl can dance she can fuck .. let's just say this girl made Shakira look like a Rhino with two left feet wearing clogs.. OMG this girl could move. But she wouldn't even look in my direction and sure enough here comes home girl.
Anyway after looking around I decide f' it let's do this. We start talking price and she opens with R500 .. I just laughed and said what? She fed me some line about how all the girls here are R500. I say well all one guy sitting right here aint paying 5 bills. NOt happening. I tell her R300 and she gives me this look. I just laugh and start looking around the room to see who else is out there. She comes to her senses and says ok 3 bills if you give me cab fair. Done! .. but I’m not ready to go yet. She starts kinda nagging me about leaving, she wants me now, blah blah blah .. I'm not ready to go .. it's still late and I want her to spend the night so I can get one out when I wake up. the earlier we leave the more chance she'll come back and not wanna stay .. so I'm just chillin. She keeps nagging me about leaving and I'm really starting to get irritated. I was really close to telling her to bounce, but she chilled out, the mood and vibe changed for a bit .. but I just reminded her of how hot she was and all that shit calmed down.

OK it's time to go. We get up to leave and the host gives me a bill for R70. Damn it the bar fine .. ughh. Oh well I knew what I was getting into. I pay it and we leave. (now I really have to say thank the people on the boards for all their input, I was able to deal with and dodge a lot of bullshit, because I've read the boards and people have prepped me for some things. so thanks all. ) I wasn't over charged on my tab, the door guy tried to him me up for a tip, I give him a look like he's crazy, and since I'm twice his size he backs off. We start walking toward the corner to get a cab and she tries to say let's get in one of the cabs in front, I'm adamant .. no let's walk and she starts bitching about walking blah blah .. and I'm getting more annoyed. This night may not turn out to be that great. But I said let me just keep a positive attitude and remember that I'm the one paying and It should go down how I want it to.

We grab a cab and are back at my apt in no time. We're on our way up she hands me her phone to show me something . I had a feeling I shouldn't take it because I had other shit in my hand and was trying to get situated .. and of course what happens I drop her iPHone 5S .. fuck .. she gives me this "you fucking moron" look .. (which I fully deserved) .. ughh .. I thought to myself .. this night is ruined. whatever .. but she took it in stride .. good for her .. she punched me playfully in the stomach and I apologized profusely and we moved past it .. (though I could see she was a little annoyed) .. anyway we get to my room and she requests Tina Turner .. (what?? Random, but oK .. my music library is extensive .. so I got you) .. she starts to do a little strip dance .. which I was impressed by .. it was kinda hot .. the belt comes off the shirt comes off ( I was skeptical because the shirt was baggy and you never know what's going on under that ) .. but she was pretty fit .. you done good sir you done good .. her body was nice .. let's were gorgeous (even though there was a little hair up above the skirt line ( most women don't regularly shave up that far, I hate HATE hair, but usually up that far it's ok, however it was blond and her hair was black .. weird) whatever.. so she keeps dancing and removes everyhting but the shoes and panties .. well done .. she undresses me and we kiss each other all over. She makes her way to my crotch and asks for a condom ( many of you guys are saying to yourself NOOOOOOOOO ..LoL .. shit I forgot to discuss this with her before finalizing the deal... but honestly I'm not that big on head and CBJ is not a big deal for me, I protest a bit but say F'it .. ) … Didn't matter at all .. that shit was great. She knows her way with her mouth. We get down to it and she's great. Let's me know what she wants and in no time is waking my neighbors. I finish up and am thoroughly satisfied. However I did notice a tinge of an odor .. fuck .. I hate that shit .. it's happened with women before pro and non pro.. so I don't think anything of it .. but still unsettling EVERY DAMN TIME .. (I'm a neat and clean freak). I ask her for a picture and she says no .. (fail : I should have negotiated that before ...lesson learned). We clean up and I send her on her way.

All in all not a bad experience .. sex was good. She had a little attitude, but honestly not more than I would normally deal with in a girl … just gotta have patience I guess ( and not drop her phone.. stupid) .. I've got a few more days in Rio so I'll continue to post more. 4x4 .. watch out you're in trouble tonight.

"Cab driver quoted me R80. Seemed fine,"

Just a suggestion for future reference: never agree on a price ahead of time. Stay downstairs at arrivals, go outside, and grab one of the yellow cabs (not one of the prepaid radio cabs). With tip, I paid R$60 to Ipanema. That was the meter price plus rounding to R$60.

Too bad about 4X4 being closed on Dia das Trabalhadores. And you're far nicer than I would have been with the puta from Barbarella's. Getting smelly snatch and a CBJ short time for R$300 plus R$70 plus taxi bites! But sometimes the girls have you over a barrel on the holidays.

Hope tonight's a better night. Have fun!

What happened to keeping her over night and then fucking again in the morning?

I know it was your first day back but just a word of advice. When that little voice inside your head is telling you "this bitch is annoying! or "I think she is going to be a problem" listen to the voice!!

My attitude is this "When I am paying my money! I better not hear the word NO!" I don't want to hear the word no when I whip out my camera and I don't want to hear no when I point to my dick and tell her to start sucking bareback. I can hear the word NO all I want when I am in America, while on vacation, no is not allowed!