Warning: It is said that a scientific report on negative results still has value. So, my following report is not an ad for Pat Pong. But, I should also note that unlike my younger nights, I now prefer shooting fish in a barrel. So, your mileage and mine may differ.

I have not visited Bangkok for about 4 - 5 years. Mainly due to the general decline of go-go clubs at Nana Entertainment Plaza (NEP) and Soi Cowboy, too much competition for the relatively few available girls, and prices higher than Pattaya.

Dave the Rave, from NEP's Angelwitch club, has me on his mailing list and sent an email last summer 2015 that he was working at a club in Pat Pong. Subsequently, I thought, why not stay in a hotel near Pat Pong rather than my usual Sukhumvit? I could check out the Pat Pong area, which would be new to me, and see how the go-go clubs on Pat Pong have changed.

So, in November 2015, I visited Bangkok for 3 nights and stayed in a hotel near Pat Pong.

Below is a list of my observations and experiences.

1. Suvarnabhumi airport (BKK).

Immigration. Since late summer 2015, the immigration line has been getting longer. In November 2015, my wait in the line for immigration clearance was about 30 minutes. My suitcase was already on the luggage carousel when Thai immigration gave me a visa-on-arrival for 30 days in my USA passport.

Customs. Note that most passengers were waved through Customs inspections. But some passengers were directed to an x-ray machine. I had a large backpack and a 22-inch suitcase and a Customs agent waved me thru.

Food Court. For relatively inexpensive food at the airport, on the ground level there is a food court to your left facing the building exits from its interior, at the end of the building, near the bus counters. Also, on the departure level, there is a convenience store (Family Mart?) at the rear or far side of the check-in counters.

2. Transport to Bangkok.

In past years, I have utilized a city bus once (slow, but cheaper than a taxi) and taxicabs mostly to travel from the airport to Bangkok.

On one of my last visits to Bangkok, I arrived around midnight in a light rain and got into one of the few taxicabs waiting at the terminal. After the driver drove out of the terminal, he quoted me a fixed price (maybe it was 400 or 500 bahts), about double what the metered cost would be. I hesitated to accept. The driver said that he could take me to a nearby bus terminal where there were plenty of taxis.

I spotted 3 problems with his statement: a- not going back to the airport terminal where I could report him to authorities on-the-spot. b- unusually few taxis at the airport terminal where there were many more during past trips. c- light rain at midnight. I said ok. By the way, he hardly understood English, because he wanted to drop me off on soi 15 -- although I constantly repeated Sukhumvit, between soi 13 and 15.

Since I arrived in the morning and my hotel check-in time was 2 pm, I thought I tried the airport train. For me, this was a new option. After getting my suitcase, I headed for the escalators down to the basement level.

3. Airport Train to Bangkok.

On the basement level. Go pass the one-lady information desk on your left. Turn left and go to one of several fare machines mounted on a middle column on your left. On the fare machine's screen in the upper right-hand corner, touch the English icon. Then select your destination station. Mine was Makkassan. The displayed fare cost of 35 baht appeared. Put in your Thai money. Receive a button and your coin change.

Next, go to the turnstile and press the button over the face of the turnstile. Turnstile gives an affirmative response. Put the button in your pocket, which you will need for the exit station's turnstile. Walk thru and another 30-40 feet. Wait for the train with the other waiting passengers.

The airport train ride was very fast compared to a taxicab, even though the train stopped at 4 stations. Each car has a map of the train stops and a voice announces the name of the upcoming station, for which you have to listen closely for the Thai pronunciation. The ride took about 15 minutes.

4. Skytrain to Silom station.

To exit the Makksan train station, I took the escalator up, put my train button in a turnstile slot, walked throuh the turnstile, turned to the right, and again to the right. The corridor, which began as a skywalk, sloped downward and wound around until it reached a sidewalk.

Exiting the walkway, on the sidewalk many skytrain passengers with suitcases were gathered, probably waiting for taxicabs. About 20 feet away to the right was the entrance to a skytrain. This was the Phetchaburi skytrain station.

I walked down the short stairway to a male security guard, who was inspecting bags. He indicated that he wanted me to open my suitcase. I showed him my printout of a subway may and pointed out where I wanted to go and asked where I was now?

About 50 feet way were fare machines mounted on a wall and people waiting in a line for a fare seller behind a glass cage. When I checked the fare machine, I could not locate my destination station Chong Nonsi or S3. I got into the fare seller's line. I showed him my skytrain map and where I wanted to go. He indicated that I needed to go to the Silom station. At that point, I would need to get to a different skytrain line in order to get to my destination station and would have to pay another fare. I paid 13 baht for the train ride from the airport go the Makksan station and received a button.

I did the button-turnstile process to enter the Phetchaburi skytrain station. Rode the skytrain for about 10 minutes to the Silom station. I took the up escalator and after checking a wall map, and headed towards Exit 2. Returned the button at the turnstile in order to exit the station. I decided rather than switched to a second skytrain line in order to go one more stop, instead I would exit the station and get a taxi.

Outside the station, I was on a slightly-elevated landing several steps above the sidewalk. In front was Silom Road and above it was a second-story walkway to the other skytrain line to the Sala Daeng, or S2, station. The second skytrain line is probably accessible from the first skytrain line, but I did not look for a skywalk route. To my left was the driveway to the Dusit Thani Hotel.

5. Taxicab.

I carried my suitcase down 3-4 steps to the sidewalk, crossed a driveway, and stood near a corner on Silom Road. I flagged a passing taxicab.

Hotel Map. I showed to the driver a map printed off the hotel's web site. Actually I had printed several maps of the Silom area and none showed the hotel with its supposed street address or a clear street location for the hotel. But, I had put the hotel's name and address through translate.google.com, which gave the address in Thai script. Reading the Thai script, the driver indicated that he knew the proximate location of the hotel.

As it turned out, the hotel was about 3 blocks away, on a major soi off of Silom Road. I could have walked it in 10 minutes, but I did not know the way. The hotel's web page said it was on Soi 3. One web map showed the same soi as Soi Phiphat 3. One way to spot the hotel's location is to locate the post office with a large photo of the King in front on Silom Road. Facing the post office, go down the soi on the left. The hotel is about 200 meters along the soi on the right wiith parking spaces in front of it. It looked like a 3- or 4-level house.

The driver drove pass the hotel and stopped further on to ask for directions. He backtracked to my hotel. The meter read 30 baht. I paid and tipped well (for his big help). Otherwise, I could have been sweating a storm in the Thailand heat pulling a suitcase and toting a heavy backpack.

By the way, Soi Phiphat 3 continues on to Suthorn Road. The area seems residential but has a lot of shops and meandering alleys. Sort of an upscale version of what old Bangkok might have looked like 30-40 years ago. Worth exploring.

6. Hotel.

Baan Silom Soi 3 Hotel. Check-in time was 2 pm. I arrived about 11 am. Unfortunately, the hotel lobby was tiny, with no seating except for the desk lady. I could leave my suitcase in the lobby, but I had to sit and wait on the large porch or veranda in the heat with many others who were also waiting. Most of the people left to sightsee the area. But, I waited.

Luckily, I waited in spite of the tiny mosquitos biting. Because I was able to check in at 12 noon, when a room was vacated and cleaned. The hotel was rated 3-star, but did not look it from the outside.

I had prepaid via www.asiatravel.com. The hotel had no problem in understanding that I had already paid.

Inside my room was a definite 3-star. My room was large, spacious, high ceiling, clean, modern, with a large refrigerator empty except for free two bottles of water, one queen-size bed, air conditioner, large in-room safe, free and sometimes fast wi-fi, and cable television which only had one English channel (BBC). The shower had liquid shampoo and soap, but nothing for the bathroom sink. Otherwise, I was happy with my approx $40 per night room.

Later, I learned that a table on the ground floor near the elevator had cookies, instant coffee, water fountain of hot or cold water, cups, sometimes bananas, etc. No sign to indicate the cost. Free, according to the desk lady.

One possible drawback is that I did not see any monger bringing in a female guest. The hotel's clientele were mostly European couples, some backpackers, and a few Asians. So, I cannot comment on available walk of shame or extra charge for a guest's visitor. Note that the lady at the reception desk was replaced by a middle-aged male guard about 10 pm, who looked like he might permit a visitor to enter and go upstairs.

7. Food outlets.

The hotel did not have a restaurant, but there were plenty of food sources nearby on the soi of the hotel and on Silom Road and elsewhere, day and night.

- - Supermarkets: Tops supermarket in the basement of a large building (called Silom Comples) on south side of Silom Road in front of the Sala Daeng skytrain station and near the Silom skytrain station. Foodland supermarket on Patpong 2, which has a eating area inside its street windows and market at the rear and mostly out of sight.

- - Convenience stores: 7-Eleven and the like, located everywhere.

- - Food Carts: Soi Phiphat 3, soi on other side of post office, Silom Road.

- - Restaurants, fast food outlets: Soi Phiphat 3, Subway shop on Silom Road under the Sala Daeng skytrain station, everywhere.

8. Pat Pong 1 and 2, 3 (ex-gay), 4 (japanese).

Next to the Bangkok Christian Hospital on the north side of Silom Road is Pat Pong 1. A little further to the east is Pat Pong 2. These two north-south streets are bordered by Silom Road on the south and by Surawong Road on the north side. In the 1980s and a little before and a little after, these streets form the top area in Bangkok for clubs with girls visited by foreigners.

The next street to the east is a dead-end street, formerly known as Pat Pong 3 and was filled with clubs offering go-go boys. All those clubs are gone and have been replaced mostly with restaurants. Although in November 2015, I walked along this dead-end soi and a Thai guy walking by started giving me the beckoning eye.

The next street to the east has a number of clubs for Japanese. On this street and at the entrances to Pat Pong 1 and 2, touts approached me holding a colored brochure containing photos of girls.

In general, Pat Pong 1 and 2 have fewer clubs than ten years ago, which at that time had fewer clubs than the previous ten years, etc. At night, about 6 pm, on Pat Pong 1, tables and overhead tenting were set up in the middle of the street blocking all traffic except pedestrians. They formed four long columns of vendors and their wares with the middle two columns set back-to-back, leaving two lanes open to passer-bys and customers. The outer columns barely left open little space on the sidewalks that may lead to clubs and other businesses in the buildings.

On Pat Pong 1, names of clubs on the ground level that I recall were: The Den, Goldfinger, Kit 7, Kiss, Pussy - south side. Thigh Bar, Safari, King's Corner - north side. Kangaroo Club, Super Pussy, and Club 66 - 2nd level.

On Pat Pong 2, with one exception the clubs were near the eastern end (an alley-wide opening on Silom road) and on ground level named: Glamour Girls, Queen's Corner, Bada Bing, Electric Blue, The Strip. Pink Panther was still at the western end on Surawong Road. Black Pagoda was located on a 3rd level archway over Pat Pong 2. A so-called S & M club was upstairs next to The Strip. Unfortunately, between Pink Panther and Foodland on the east side of Pat Pong 2 were a number of gay bars.

I visited Pat Pong 1 and 2 about 8 pm, during the first two of the three nights I was in the area. Most of the clubs were opened, but did not seem to have much going on inside. Most had a large menu sign that listed a beer starting at 150 baht. A couple of clubs, Bada Bing and Pink Panther, had no sign, but the waitress said no draft and bottle beer for 150 baht. Knowing that many Pattaya's Walking Street clubs had beer for a lower price, I declined to enter any of these 150-baht beer clubs.

Clubs I visited:
-- ELECTRIC BLUE. Draft beer, about 9 ounces, for 50 baht. Two groups of dancing girls, about 12-15 girls in each group. Unfortunately, more male customers than girls.
-- THIGH BAR. Draft beer, about 10 ounces, for 60 baht. Six girls. A friendly but not overly-aggressive mama-san came and sat next to me and asked if I wanted a girl? Since none of the girls were my type, I was not interested in asking about price.
-- GLAMOUR GIRLS. Happy hour, 7-9 pm, 2 for 1 beer, bottled Chang for 120 baht. Three girls. Wall sign said: lady drink for 170 baht, 190 baht, and 360 baht.
-- BLACK PAGODA. Bottled Singha beer for 130 baht. 14 girls in street dresses on several 2-foot wide, shin-high, circular platforms, most in front of two floor-to-ceiling glass walls, on either side of the room. bridging both sides of Pat Pong 2. Sofa seating.

As the description above indicates, there was little to keep me in Pat Pong passed 10 pm or for me to return a third night. Oh, yes, a Black Pagoda girl told me that Dave no longer worked there.

Ten to twenty years ago, the second levels of Pat Pong 1 buildings had many clubs offering pussy-trick shows supposedly for the cost of a beer until at the beginning of the performance a waiter gave you a bill to pay immediately that included several hundreds baht charge for the show. There were also several large discos with lots of male-female couples. Gone, except I did not check out any of the current 2nd story clubs on this trip, especially the S & M club on Pat Pong 2.

Massage parlors used to be on Pat Pong 1 and 2 and on Surawong Road. But, I did not see any that had obvious street signs advertising massages. I guess the touts were doing the advertising.

I doubt that I will return to visit Pat Pong for another 3 or more years. However, the area with the little streets between the major multi-vehicular lane Surawong, Silom, and Sathorn roads appears interesting for daytime exploring in safety.

There may be a lot more to the Pat Pong area. Such as hidden brothels, massage parlors with happy endings, pickup bars, etc. But, with go-go clubs in NEP and Soi Cowboy and other half-hidden opportunities along Sukhumvit Road, the casual visitor does not have a lot of time to search. Thus, Pat Pong is recommended for guys with a lot of time, patience, and money to burn.

Keep on mowing.

GG, thanks for the report, this takes me back a ways. I like your approach of not following the typical Bangkok formula of staying on Sukhumvit/Soi 4. I've had good and bad results with Patpong and towards the end of my tenure, I visited there at least one night each trip to see the old Bangkok monger scene.

I attribute Bangkok's mongering decline to the opening of the new airport which is about 30 minutes closer to Pattaya. With hotel prices and bar fines creeping up in Bangkok I believe many people decided they've been there done that and just went straight to Pattaya.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Bangkok is a must see city in Asia with so much more to offer besides pussy and then there's always soapies on Ratchadapisek. I think Pattaya is for tourists and Bangkok is for long term residents.

BTW, about your handle, does it mean you're in landscaping?

My handle is based on the (American?) saying that the grass is greener on the other side.

To me, it explains why after scoring a great girl, I still go out and look for another girl.

Non-Americans told me that they thought my handle referred to smoking pot. That is, they were not familiar with the saying.

But, to confuse the matter, I frequently sign off with "Keep on mowing".

I like gardens, woods, forest, trees, plants, etc as an air-breathing mammal.

Did you hear that the brain size of homo sapiens began to decrease, indicating a decline in intelligence, when they turn from hunting to agriculture? Maybe this explain those vegan girl friends?