After hearing some good reports on Nogales, Mexico, and since the LA strip club scene is dying an agonizing death with the demise of some of its hottest lap dance clubs, I decided to go on an international adventure. And since United has screwed me so often, I have a handful of unused $50 discount coupons, so I figured the flight would only cost me a little over $50 roundtrip. I flew from LA to Tucson this Saturday, checked into a hotel by the airport, then drove south on I-19 to the border, arriving around 8pm. Some of the clubs open earlier in the afternoon, but I think most don't really get going until after 8pm. I worried the entire time I was driving that I had forgotten to bring my passport, and wouldn't be able to get back across the border. Later I found out from one of the border patrol guys on bicycle (great bunch of guys; very helpful) that all you have to do is say "I'm a US citizen" and they have to let you across. Anyway, for you newbies, the I-19 runs south from Tucson, and ends in Nogales, AZ, where you just follow the signs to the International Border crossing. Before you make a right at McDonalds (just before the crossing) there are some parking lots on the right where you can park for $4 and walk across the border. The strip clubs are located right across the street when you cross the border, so no need for transportation. The lot attendant gave me directions to get to the crossing, which was just about 30 feet away, down a ramp. Anyone can enter Mexico, but on the return trip there is what looks like an airport security checkpoint for folks walking back across.

Anyway, my night almost ended before it started. Just before I got to the gate, I felt around my pockets and thought I had lost my rental car keys. I spent about 45 minutes frantically retracing my steps many times, checking inside the rental car, and having visions of a wasted trip. I figured it would be the next day before I could get the key fiasco all straightened out, and I'd probably miss my flight back and have all kinds of misery, so I decided to find a hotel to stay the night. While I was wandering around trying to find a Days Inn one of the border guys recommended, I finally realized that I had put the keys in my money belt. What a freakin idiot. Anyway, I tried to regain my composure, and headed across.

For any first timers, the strip clubs are right at the border crossing. All you have to do is walk through the crossing gate, make a hard left, and dodge the many lanes of cars going through the crossing checkpoint. You can see two of the most popular strip clubs, Lord Black and Placers, from the US side - they have blue/purple neon lights along the top of the building. First stop was Lord Blacks. Admission was $3, and you can leave and re-enter all night. Yes, $3 admission. And damn, the women in that place were absolutely incredible. I mean these girls really go all out to look good. For any LA strip club afficionados, I would rate them, on average, far above the girls in clubs like TL or HT. Now the best part of the clubs in Nogales is that they're not just strip clubs. In these clubs you can take the dancer into a small private room for somewhere around $20 ($22 at Lord Blacks as I recall), and negotiate with her for all kinds of stuff, such as HJ, BJ, or FS. Typically, I've read that a BJ is $30-40 additional, and FS is $50 to 60. Yes, that's US dollars. Pretty good compared to the latest $120 VIP dance rage in LA clubs.

Anyway, a while after I got to Lord Blacks they brought some guy on stage, put him in a chair, and two very hot dancers pulled his pants and his underwear off, took his dick out and began jerking him off. I'm not kidding. I don't think they made him cum, but not because they weren't trying. Jeesh, I love this place.

Table dances were $9, and depending on the girl and the club they can be on a par with the best dances at HT and TL when they were good (for any folks not familiar with LA clubs, TL and HT are two clubs where you could get some of the best $20 lap dances in the country, but that's no longer the case). The table dances I saw at Lord Blacks were relatively tame, however.

Now most of the strip clubs are located pretty much on the same block, and since the admission was only $3 I figured I'd try them all out. Next stop was Placers, just a few doors down from Lord Blacks. The girls here were far less attractive than those at Lord Blacks, but the table dances made up for it. During my visits to Placers (I came and left a few times) I saw a dancer lay on top of a guy (on her back, her head near his feet), wrap her legs around a guy and he dove in and started licking. I saw another dancer pull a guy's dick out and play with it. And I think I saw a girl giving a guy a BJ, but I'm not sure. However, in all the clubs I visited there were relatively few table dances going on at any one time (compared to say, HT at its best). And YMMV also applied. Some dancers (especially at Lord Blacks) seemed a bit tame. Anyway, after watching a girl who was a very hot and nasty looking Asian/Latina give a guy a very nasty lap, I decided to bypass the table dance and go directly for a private dance. And it turned out to be a very disappointing one. We got into the room and she said a BJ would be $40. We've already established I'm an idiot, so instead of bargaining with her, I said yes. I also told her I also wanted her to give me a lap dance, and she said okay, but she immediately got a condom, put it on me, kneeled down and started a very mechanical BJ. Now I'm the kind of guy who really likes to enjoy a girl. She had a very hot face, great body, and I wanted to have her climb all over me and let my hands and mouth roam. But all I saw was the top of her head bobbing up and down. Very un-erotic and un-satisfying. But I was ready to go, so after a few minutes I came. She pulled off the condom and that was it. Boy did I feel ripped off. For those of you familiar with the dancers at Placers, I didn't catch her name, but she has hair that is tinted bright red (I think; it's awful dark in there), and has some hard fake boobs (which I never got a chance to grab). Big round face that looks part Asian and part Latina.

Then I left Placers and went past Ferni's (not sure why I didn't go in; I must have read somewhere that it was a dump) and stopped briefly in Lipsticks. It was dead, with only a handful of girls (not very attractive) and fewer customers. I then completed the loop around the block and stopped at Cherry's, but the guy said it was closed. So it was back to Lord Black's. I was determined to get some laps from some of the hot ladies, but honestly I was pretty beat from all the excitement, and it was getting to be around 11pm and I still had to drive back to Tucson, so I hung out for a while, and decided to bail. As I left I even considered going to Placer's again, but there was a line of guys out front (waiting to get in I assume), and I didn't feel like waiting. So I headed back to the crossing, walked into the security area (I was the only one in there), and interrupted the guards shootin the shit, and one asked me "Please state your citizenship", and I said "I'm a US citizen", then he asked me if I needed to declare anything, I said no, and that was it. I was back in the US, with my car keys, and I hadn't been mugged or shot, I had a pretty good time, and I still had half of the $200 that I brought with me in my pocket. So I made the 45 minute drive back to Tucson (stopping at another checkpoint on the freeway where they ask you the same questions), hit the sack, and woke up the next morning to fly back to LA.

I don't know if I'll go back in the near future. I still have some $50 discount airline coupons, but it's a huge pain to get them redeemed (you have to buy your ticket in person at the airport or a United counter somewhere). I suppose it will be a lot more fun the next time, assuming I don't do anything boneheaded. But the downside is that it's such a gamble that you'll find a girl who is the right combination of hot and nasty. And the total tab for the trip was somewhere around $300, and I only had one private dance. Although I never made it to Rio (I just learned about this Club Hombre list when I got back yesterday, and I was unaware that Rio was any good). And there's nothing I like more than a really nasty strip club where the dancers do some insanely nasty stuff right out in public.

Anyway, can anyone give me any insights that might help me decide whether it's worth going back? Thanks.

You pretty much experienced the whole place. The women are hot, the prices are cheap and it's relatively safe. It was alot better 6 months ago but it's still alot of fun. What you saw at Placers pretty much is the norm everytime I've been there. Sometimes I think the girls have private bets going as to how long it takes them to get your pants off.

What was better 6 months ago? The prices? Thanks.

To be Honest: Everything!
Prices, Girls, Service, Attitude,...I think there has been a noticeable drop-off for the last 2 years or so....

don't forget the music. I love the hard Rock & Roll. I'll bet it's been 6 months since I heard a AC/DC song down there. I think the college students added something - they would do the wildest things. Get the girls all wound up. 6 months ago, Placers was the wildest/hottest bar I've ever been to. The energy in the room was awesome, today it feels like a strip club in the US. Everyone is going thru the motions. Everything is about the buck. It didn't feel that way before.

I have never been to Nogales but it seems the scene is smaller than TJ. Why would you fly to Nogales and not to TJ?

Are there streetwalkers in Nogales? I like the fact that i can go to Zona Norte 24 hours a day and there are always girls available (minimally streetgirl).

thanks

yes

Yes, there are street girls in Nogales? First I'd heard; tell me more (like where? and when?).

I think there are "bar-girls", but I've never seen an actual Street girl. There may be an occasional on e walking around, but nothing like in the Zona de Tijuana.
But, I've been wrong before...........

Best, I think, to stick to the bar-girls in places like El Tecolete. Don't know for sure, but I've heard you can get in trouble (policia-type trouble) for approaching girls on the street -- but not in bars, where the game is, apparently, fair.