PRELUDE:

I’m 60. “Celebrated” that milestone in April. I have mongered since 1990. I have taken a monger trip once a year for the last sixteen years. Being the ex-casino-craps-dealer, I’m fascinated with numbers. Here’s one: I have been with over 1,000 women in my life.

But this phase, this madness, this hobby, is coming to an end. Quite soon I’ll be recalling wistfully this Summer of ’42 era where I spent $250 a day on femaling. My next phase, that one that takes me to the grave, will look more like $1500 a month.

I’m tired, man.

I work to the point of sickness. Some of my illnesses are rather exotic. Ever heard of computer face? Google it. I had it for months last year. Finally tracked it down to a Dell computer (though all my computer screen resolutions are now lowered by half). Root canal, 5,000$. Feet issues that force hot vinegar baths. Knee blows out from trying to run across Fullerton to beat a yellow light.

Then the flu. 5 solid days in bed. Fever that hospitalized tens of thousands at its height…non-stop, relentless. Knock it back from 101 with ibuprofen to 97.5, next morning it’s right back at 101 and pushing upward. Unstoppable. Imagine covered wagon days when you didn’t have the medicine? Fluids, rest, Tamiflu. Bought 100 bucks worth of vitamin C products. Umpteenth grapefruits and oranges. Left me with no voice for 10 days.

But yeah…tired, man. And running out of resources. My college’s enrollment is cratering. 12000 in 2007, 6500 now. Management trying to crush the union, we called a 3-day strike with more promised. Might get locked out or fired. Such is the adjunct’s life. It’s 50-50 I’ll escape Chicago at 62 with early Social Security, but that’s the plan.

So, these trips are coming to an end.

THE LITTLE VOICE:

If you read my last report you know that I left Angeles City last June under hasty circumstances. I discovered that a woman who set me up with a freelancer was a police informer. The freelancer was 18 according to her ID; 18 according to the Pacific Breeze hotel which scrutinized the ID before allowing her entrance. This chick’s name is Leslie and her “broker” is a bad news druggy named Joy. STAY AWAY from them. Or from any situation where a freelancer is being “handled” by an older woman. Yeah, by all appearances she was 18. But who the fuck knows? Are you an expert on what a legitimate ID looks like? I’m not. And in a Duterte government, does it even matter? Talk about a great business model for 3rd World nasty types.

Leslie and I stopped making tribute payments to Joy and met on the sly on our own. Joy, of course, caught on and I had made an enemy of a bad egg who had gone to the cops for a dirty payoff previously. Can you imagine a Filipino jail? Being in with 40 scumbags to a room? What would 103 degrees daily do to you? End your life as you knew it. Charity would be to be allowed to suck a gun barrel. Imagine coming out of that holding cell 3 days later. “We want 5000” “5000 pesos, ok, fine.” “No, 5000 dollars, or you go back in. For years.” And you move that Paypal money, instantly…

So this whole year there was a Little Voice in my head almost daily whispering: What if she went to the cops? What if there’s a report in the computer? What if I’m walking into a trap? Joy was very much a factor in this 2018 trip—even though I never once saw her.

When Leslie changed Facebook accounts she asked me to refriend her but I never did and never looked for her. Too hot, in too many ways.

BY THE NUMBERS:

$250 a day. 34 days. Brought $8000. Fucked 44 of them, multiple ladies repeat times. Daily AC budget breakdown: $50 a day at Pacific Breeze, $25 at Kokomos for breakfast and dinner, $25 at SM for supplies, no drinking or cigs. $150 a day for pussy. Not many Fields barfines, can count that number on two hands. Tons of $30/40 buck lays in AC and that’s the single undeniable advantage over Thailand—You can get laid, well, for very little. You can also never put on a rubber, understand what the girls say and be understood, can walk fifteen paces to the center of the action, can get GFE you rarely find in Bangkok one-nighters, on and on…

Love ya Angeles, my dirty shithole.

BODY CHEMISTRY:

Machine gun yawns. What’s causing them? Pre-diabetic? Caffeine? The dick drugs? Over-eating before fucking? Does the blood rush to the food instead of the dick—any doctors out there? Toward the end I started eating very early and very late, after the fucking was done. This whole trip was trying to figure out body chemistry to maximize performance.

Ultimately, it’s them, not me. I’m 60 so I have to say I just don’t put up with shit, no matter what I pay. Had some terrible lays in Pattaya for $140. Multiple terrible lays. Pattaya was the worst of the 4 mongering destinations I’ll cover this year. Why? At $140 a lay, there’s no safety net. Unless you have a $500 a day budget in Patts, if you miss on your Walking Street pick, you’re screwed.
When we get back to the room and it turns out the chick doesn’t want to be there… it filters to my dick in about a minute. Then we go into Pauly SmallBall(s) mode, squiiiiiish goes the dick! Then—especially with rubber-fucks, the torturous business of how can we save this. At 240 pounds and 5-8, I’m morbidly obese. Yet if you saw me you would say I wasn’t morbidly anything. Nor 60. Because I have no car and walk everywhere, my blood pressure is 120 over 80. I fuck three times a day, no sweat. I’m the fattest in-shape guy you ever saw.

THE ADJUNCT’S BARGAIN:

I’ve come up with a gentleman’s agreement with my 60 year-old-self—to forfeit 10 months of my life so I can live large for 2. I’ve done it for years. Completely schitzo. I’ve not been laid in the United States since 2002. Meanwhile fucking 44 chicks this trip puts me in what, the .0111 percentile of dudes? But yeah, I’m slowing down… As Bukowski says, it’s the tragedy of the leaves.

PINA LOVER PAULY:

Here’s what I did. Recall that I’m the guy with no cellphone, one of the last 4% in the world. I despise the notion of digital mongering on so many levels, primary of which is that it destroys RANDOMNESS, destroys the element of FATE on what happens if I walk left here instead of right, who will I end up with tonight?

The lineup of apps I’ve never used is truly impressive, from WHATSAPP to LINE to VIBER to WECHAT, on and on. Consider this: I have never sent a text message in my life. Oh sure, I’m sent ten thousand on Facebook. This trip I was living on Facebook. Too fucking hot to go out, plus the Joy Effect, plus I had about 25 women already lined up before I decided fine, let me at least TRY that approach. It did play into this trip’s paranoia of not really wanting to be all over Fields at night and bumping into my favorite blackmailer…

Bought a Pina Love upgrade and did what the digital mongers do—communicate with chicks in front of my trip, try to set up some sweet lays. I foolishly compiled a list of favorites from all over the Philippines, the hottest thumbnail faces on the site. Foolish because the ones where I was not staying would need me to fly them in from Samar and stay with them long time, not happening. So just narrow the search to Pampanga and Manila. I had 75 favorites, then sent out a generic “Hi you! Would so love to meet you! I’m a generous Freddy Nietzsche-influenced gringo. Let’s meet up, spend some of my big money and see where it goes!” The list of 75 went to about 8. I will go over in more detail how these went. My school teacher grade would be C-.

THE TRIP OUT:

The carry-on strap broke twice before I got to the California Blue Line, bloodying me. The transit worker was like, “ahh, you’re bleeding”. Bandaged, I struggled to get two 50 pound and one 25-pound bag up the stairs. Two people asked to help. This is what comes of turning 60… Thanks, but I got it, folks. Remembering my student who once told me when they lower the bus for you to get on, it’s time to shoot yourself.

Took Cathay Pacific over. One hour to clear TSA security in Chi. The line isn’t moving, will I make it? Tension, always tension. I beeped through the machine and they blue-gloved me looking for explosives. Pauly Vegas is anything but explosive these days.

The flight was smooth. Have to say, every flight was smooth this trip, including the shorter Thai trips. That’s a fucking first and much welcomed. Is it me or is it less shaky to sit by the wings instead of the tail?

Land Manila at midnight. It’s 32C (92 +100 humidity—at midnight!) but I’m not thinking about the humidity. Push all the chips in as I approach the customs agent. What you got, Little Voice? She runs my passport through her computer…and…

Nothing.

Stamps me and sends me on my way.

WHOOOSH!

PACIFIC BREEZE:

This is my joint. What can I say that I haven’t before? The driver—Speed Racer (Ken)--despite the never-ending Manila traffic, got me to Pacific Breeze at 2am. They gave me room 706 because the AC was the best in the house. They had prepared my 4 pillows, 4 towels, all my bags out of storage, mirror and fan set up. I tip everyone, overtip, as usual. Ken gets 20$ on a $70 ride, the door guys get 10 each for reminding me about the safe, TV and yanking out the mini-bar and dragging my bags up the stairs.

This joint is almost charming in how decrepit it is. The best 3$ purchase I made was a plunger as the toilet clogged virtually every time. Cold water was gone by 5pm so showers were tough. The “air-con” was ok but not even close to my Thailand or Manila hotels. So why stay here every time? “HELLO SIR PAUL!’ I never hear that in Thailand and I hear it from every single person working at the PB. The maid does my room first so it’s clear and ready for boning by 11am. I gave her 2000 end of my stay. The concierge staff that has to clear 3 ladies a day loves to see me because, yeah, I tip ‘em 1500 end of visit. That’s 30 bucks, big deal! The place is steps from Kokomos and the heart of Fields. I love it and will never stay anywhere else.

THIS AND THAT- GETTING STARTED:

I take sleep drugs--5mg of Ambien and 5 of melatonin. These blunted the jet lag effect. Also take 100mg of Viagra AND 25 mg Cialis from alldaychemist.com. Daily ibuprofen and antacids to combat the dick drugs side effects. I take a LOT of pills.

First day on the Kokomos rail at 6pm is like some Ken Kesey LSD experiment. The energy of chicks rolling in to work, the neon kicking in at Magic Hour. It’s a marvel to see. And how about that—Kokomos went smokeless!

Construction all over the place. Met Sir Guy from the PB. He’s building a new hotel in Subic right now. He used to fix my computer himself when the Central Park was just a two-story building. He’s come a long way. As far as AC goes, all this construction and still no fucking entertainment other than femaling. The new big joint across from Phillies is a revved-up Sports Bar. Big fucking deal. Reasonably jammed for World Cup—it doesn’t exactly offer poetry readings or theater or music or painting or opera. Look at this, Pauly Vegas came to AC to see Pagliacci!

Good to see my old friend Phoenix Rising from Costa Rica Ticas again. Our paths connecting my first night, he on his way out and me just arriving. Shot the shit with him and Bang Bang 57 from the CRT board. Those guys have Act 3 all figured out. Me, I’m still the Adjunct, still the guy who has never made 50K in a single year in his life. Think Social Security will be left intact if the Left doesn’t take back one branch of government this November? Christ Pauly Vegas, politics?! Let’s get to the pussy!

PUSSY- THE 40-KILO CLUB:

“Baby make me make that sound, strip me down and go to town, flip me over upside down, pound and pound and pound and pound. “-- Deadmau5

Not many stunners this year. Don’t know why. Ended up with the cute spinner every time. This became the 40-kilo club, of which I’m the happy CEO.
Here in Chicago, society wants me with a 140-pound, 45-year old MFA graduate who speaks French and fully supports the METOO movement. All I want is the 88-pound 20-year-old naked under sheets eating Sinigang soup and mesmerized by Sharknado.

FREELANCERS:

REGINE: Sharp blonde, works in front of Kokomos. Hard to pin her down, she gets hit on fast when she does work. I blundered into a session walking home with Bang Bang and PR. How do you describe to a dude who has to schlepp downtown to the Sears Tower every day what licking a shaved 19- year-old pussy feels like?

JERICO & JERILYN: At 36 and 37 kilos these two, combined, weigh 50+ pounds less than me. They will never make the Top Sisters Tag Team list, but they were a formidable presence this trip. Jerico was the best PSE at $40 per and her sister wasn’t far behind. Did Jerico six times, her sister four. They walk the street, 19 and 20, and were better lays than anything in the Fields’ clubs. Nasty words come out of their mouths…trained. Put them in an outfit, front of the mirror, pin them to the wall, oil ‘em up and here we go. Where in Wrigleyville do you find this?

Somewhere in here I have to mention getting that blowjob in the laundry. Mamacita was away and my laundry place was being watched over by the skinny skanky bitch from the food place across the way. She and I have had a running flirtation for YEARS. So, I’m looking for my laundry and put her hand on my pants. My dick is rock and she’s not resisting. She’s about a 2, but so fucking sexy! “You butterfly, many girls” “That’s right. They love my big cock.” “I blowjob you, 2000.” “No, 500” “Ok”. There’s no room to hide in so we shift to where Mamacita sleeps (yeah, she sleeps in the store on the cot in back). Skinny skanky unzips me, pulls it out and puts her head down there. Hey, how about that, I’m getting a blowjob in a laundromat! Guide her head over it. No leche and I stop her after two minutes. I mean, journey not the destination, right?

FIELDS:

Don’t have much to offer here. Hit and miss. Scored good sessions with a QBAR (CH Link) doorgirl, as well as a doorgirl at the former Cambodia (CH Link). Daddy Allen at Shipwrecked (CH Link) usually has something special saved for me but not this year. I’m the world- famous filmmaker according to him. Yeah, sure…
Perspective is funny. You come back from Thailand where it’s $125 minimum for the high-end chicks and paying $80 on Fields seems like a bargain.
Lots of could have beens. Like the utterly perfect Dollhouse model. Great vibe, laughing, young and fresh…and you can’t go with me. And why is that? You’re a cherry girl? At 19?! Fuck!

Fields cannot be the first option. A total dearth of 8’s. Think I saw 2 in my month there. Saw several 7’s, fleetingly. Sit on that Kokomos rail at 9pm and watch the blonde spinners barfines stroll past with the stoic faced Koreans who also like their 40 kilo blondes- hey, don’t we all?! Vast majority of Fields is filled with 5s not worth close to $100 short time. 3000BF, 500tip, 400 drinks, 100 tryke home = 4000p @ 52 per = 80$ fish.

Saw hot chicks head in Brown Sugar (CH Link) and Dollhouse (CH Link)—never saw them again. Bird in hand, man.

PINA LOVERS:

C-. And that’s generous. I met Mary Rose from Love Knots through Pina Love. But I would have met her anyway, so not much credit there. Her Pina Love name is EsorYram18. More on her in a moment.
Some hot close-but-no-cigar chicks I met and chatted with (and who were good with selling it short time) were:

Cessforyou, katrinaHot, Earlyn18, Emjhei25, bheghang, Lexi1245, and MarcenErroba.

Here are the “dates” that actually happened:

JUDY: Hot. Spent 3 hours breaking her down for a subpar 3000p 1 hour lay.

LADYKHIMMY: Knew the first moment I saw her I wasn’t gonna fuck her. Had chipped teeth so bad you could look up through her palate and see her brain. Didn’t hurt her feelings, told her no because I had already done 2 before. I guess those with cellphones avoid this awkwardness because they do video chats and actually see the woman on their little screens, not just a thumbnail photo. I don’t have a cellphone, so I get the awkwardness.

Majority of these experiences were scheduling misses or standups. Multiple messages, meetings set up that never happen. Wasn’t always their fault, my tight window (for instance, just 2 days in Manila) contributed. I dispensed with the bullshit. Most popular expression on the site is “looking for a life-partner for serious relationship only”—meaning PAY ME MONTHLY. I counter with “I’m looking for short time sex. 3000 for one hour.” Suddenly the chicks looking for serious relationship message back— “ok, sounds good.” Too bad this Pina Love experiment wasn’t.

MARY ROSE: 36 kilos, about 4-8. Wishboning her in that outfit! Filthy mouth. When she begs for “non-stop sex” at 4-8, I lose it. You could easily pass her by at Love Knots but if I were you I’d get down there. Top 5 in this trip. Such a good kid and sweet soul—be good to her, ok?

MASSAGE CARD GIRLS:

YUMMIE rulz! Great experience, and we never fucked! Why ask a message card girl back when she only blows you, jacks you and kisses you? Because she’s soooo much fun! Unlimited pictures and laughs. Look her up: 09773703426. Best 40$ non-fuck ever!

Bad sex with one, Pao. Agreed to 2500 for 1 hour but couldn’t even get inside her and she was subtly pushing me away. When a chick pushes away from me with her legs in missionary I let them go and they lurch forward. “Relax, ok?’

Another said yes but was such a wallflower I backed off. Two others turned me down. So, C grade here too.

PERIMETER:

As usual, just didn’t put in tons of work. My daytime Facebook chicks dominated my time. Did get out here a couple times but no luck with the Pina Lovers I was supposed to connect with. My observation this year is that the quality on Perimeter is equivalent to that (perhaps a notch lower) than Soi 6. That means if you hit 8 clubs, you might find one lady of worth.

LANIE: Det5 (CH Link) hottie; leaving the bar the next day. Sometimes the Gods are charitable. What a hottie. Det5 has always been good to me. Apple and Nikki came from there last year. Please remember what it is to have an 18-year-old bucking you so hard as she cums that her eyes roll back into her skull. Then the cuddling after, bodies intertwined. So sad to have to say “you shower now?” Remember this stuff…

RAYMOND & SANTOS STREETS:

How about that—a good trip here!

Two words for Raymond Street: Love Knots (CH Link)
Two words for Santos: Wow Bar (currently Party One bar (CH Link). I won’t call it that, like calling the Sears Tower the Willis Tower, right?)

What the heck happened at Wow Bar?! Barfined 3 excellent times here. New girls. I haven’t barfined 3 times at Wow bar in 3 years. Nice job, mamasan!

Love Knots easily over the other Raymond street bar. Pulled two chicks including the one and only Mary Rose. 1000 bf + 500 tip to the girl. 30 fucking bucks for a rubberless lay with English and photos no problem? Good luck finding that in Patts outside of Beach Road skanks.)

First time I did two (never together, why pay 2x for ½ the time?) barely finished with Mary Jane before the PB Booty Phone rang, “A Miss Yummie is here for you, sir Paul” “Yes, she can come in.” What a country!

FACEBOOKERS:

My #1 option.

JHOY: She was 8-months pregnant last year, we never fucked. I gave her money for her first ultra-sound, at 8 months! She gave birth to a healthy baby and that weight is long gone. Now a killer blonde again. Maybe the most beautiful woman I fucked this trip. Put her in that gold thong and heels in front of the mirror. “Look at you, babe. Look at you.” If you read this far you’re about to be rewarded--she just started working at Blue Sapphire. You’re welcome.

APPLE: Hot ex-Det 5 doorgirl. 19 now, still with a great face. Just so smooth, the fucking in missionary, deep kissing. Who does these things? Smooth and beautiful body. Mmmm.

DARLENE: One of the hottest last year. Put on 10 pounds and is aware of it. That makes her what, about 110 pounds?! Just got back from Target here in Chi—you simply don’t see pear-shaped 150 pound women in Angeles. Is that cruel coming from an obese guy? Whatever, Chi chicks are fucking fat (HEY! We don’t body shame in America ANYMORE!)

Back to Darlene, no sweat on the extra ten pounds, babe. Such a smooth lay. A joy to be in with a chick who wants to be with you.

JENNY:
Smoking hot PSE. She and Jhoy were both 8 months pregnant last year when I came through. Gave them both money for ultrasounds. Had her baby the same day as Jhoy. Former Perimeter girl has lost the weight and says the darnedest things, oh!

FACEBOOK LEECHES:

Daisy was a decent lay on Fields. Not a repeat. Yet she took my Facebook and was constantly on there, badgering me. Hey how are ya when can we meet again? Then she got robbed when I was in Thailand. I offered 2K and didn’t even fuck her for it, penniless chick. After that, the very next night, she tried to hit me up for another 1000 toward rent? Unfriended.

Jennifer touched me up 1000k for books—the deadly school season! Chicks are seemingly never so desperate as when school starts. Lucky me, I just happen to be here when that happens.

1000 to Risa for medicine.

1000 to Ian Ian, a Facebook chick I never fucked whose boyfriend beat her up and bloodied her. “You’ve got to get to the hospital. Now.” “Don’t have money.” Give her 1k for hospital expenses.

Apple hits me up for 3k. Hot piece, she’s living on the floor of a friend’s place. Can I give her 6k instead of 4 for two fucks? She can move back into her apartment then. Pleeeeeeeease! There is no end to it.

4 Facebook message panels open at once. They all NEED to see me…NOW! Miss you! I’m hungry! Pleeeeeease I come over na!

MANILA:

Go Speed Racer! Pacific Breeze driver Ken gets me to Manila in sub 2 hours! I’ve got Jhoy from AC lined up for a session in the two days I have here before my Thailand trip. Also 3 “definitely maybes” from Pina Love lined up for 2-9pm, then Burgos street. Somehow, it’s the first time I’ve ever done Burgos. Always went the LA Café (CH Link), EDSA complex route.

The Y2 Residence Hotel gets a B from me. Got an 82 on Trip Advisor, so fuck it, give it a try. First room they showed me the aircon didn’t work; second room the key didn’t work. WTF. They must have upgraded me, gave me 1202 which was a GIANT SUITE WITH TWO BEDROOMS AND BATHROOMS! This massive space could easily sleep 5 people. And the AC! Can’t believe I’m saying it but I had to dial it down, so a good review here, though they had some issues include only two elevators, so it takes forever to get downstairs, but great location and room.

Burgos doesn’t kick ‘til 9 so lots of killing time. This is where the Pina Love chicks were supposed to come in. Of course, they were no shows. Meanwhile, along with the monsoon rains that never stopped the entire time, a tension headache was kicking in (bootleg Viagra symptom?)

Daring to brave Friday night traffic was a major mistake. Literally took 40 minutes to get to LA CAFÉ, never even tried EDSA. 40 minutes right back to Burgos. Little did I know—found out on the return stay that Burgos is a TEN MINUTE WALK from Y2! Holy shit, you mean I can walk somewhere in Manila?!

BURGOS:

PLAN B (CH Link): The winner. 2 of my 3 Manila chicks pulled here. This is Thailand pricing. Heartily overpaid for the first one but this was the hottest girl in the country thus far so couldn’t say no. 3.5k to her, 3500 to bar, no drinks, grabbed her with the cab waiting. ERIN turned out to be an amazing fuck. Had to kick her out because of the early morning flight. First time I ever had to talk a goddess out of spending the night with me.
Erin was a member of the 40k club at 4-11 85 pounds of dynamite. Face turned out to be less than the 8 but that fucking body, and the non-stop sex attitude. Worth 140$. Please remember how she came strutting out of the bathroom in the red Brazilian string bathing suit and heels, taking her to the mirror, kissing her from behind as I remove it, just heels now, pin her to the wall, jacking me…no fucking words. This is why I teach the 14 beats of Save The Cat.

BOTTOMS (CH Link): Not much either time through Manila. One
cutie the second time but showing no interest and attitude. Hey Doll, at $150 per, I don’t do attitude. Ciaoooooo!

KOJAX (CH Link): First time there the aquacero, a powerful rainstorm that just added to the surreal. I had the cabbie wait in the downpour and I ran in. Yep, inside I’m seeing a lineup you never see in AC. Two 8’s, perfect. I hit the blonde up, will you have a drink with me? Here’s the deal doll, I’ve got a cab waiting, I’d like to BF you, sorry for the rush but… I want kissing, I want to take photos of you, and of course no rubber. She looks at me like I’m from Mars. Who the fuck was I dictating terms? This is, as usual, a matter of NECESSITY. The 5’s in AC have grave necessity. This perfect blonde doesn’t. Just like on Walking Street Pattaya, it’s a sellers’ market. She’ll get hit up 10 times tonight and can pick and choose her customer. She suggests I look for another girl. Yeah, maybe I will. I’m not spending $150 without perfect session conditions, so it’s hasta luego babe, have a fab life, and go Lebron!

MARCELE:

“I’m the one whose so delicious, I’m the one whose really vicious, I’m the one who goes for days, I’m the one who gets the praise, I’m the one whose really sweet, I’m the one who brings the heat.”—Deadmau5

Second time through Manila, last day of the trip, my single night yielded one of the best lays of the whole trip. MARCELE had everything—a sweetheart who loved to sing songs at the club and in the cab. Sneaky 8 (body an 8, face a 6, attitude a 10—what’s that make her?) Staggering sex.

And by the way, holy shit, did I mention I WALKED from hotel to Burgos! 10 minutes from the Y2. No rain this time around, no tension headache and I’ve got energy. Stop in Bottoms, bored crew, one drink and I’m gone. Gonna settle for Erin again at PLAN B but decide to stop in at Kojax one last time.

Grab a drink and see this buxom cutie. 37 kilos, you’re in the club! This turned out to be a trained foul mouth sex maniac. Sweetheart who sings to love songs in the cab. Then in bed, wow!
She would be the hottest in almost any club in AC but again, just something sweet about her. 20, Aries, loves romcoms, student. Willing to go for just 3000 + 3000 club barfine plus 500 drinks = 6500= 125$. These days, that’s a bargain.
We get right down to it, showers and lights out, then… the dreaded word- “condom.”

Do my best to talk her out of it but she’s not having it. Great. Last fuck is gonna be rubber. Not happy but she’s too sweet so on it goes. I eat her to orgasm, then she says take it off I blowjob you and we go from there, around the horn. The rubber comes off fast, inside her, but she’s no checker. She’s a bonafide sexmanico is what she is… nasty mouth and I love that roll play stuff. Say it again in tight spooning, suck that fucking vibrator, riding me, from behind now. She notices the rubbers off and I put another on. It too comes off. Two condoms are now inside her, but she keeps going. It’s 10:30 and I’ve have to be up at 4 for the 20-hour flight. Can’t believe it, but once again, I’m throwing a goddess out the door. What a way to go….

BANGKOK:

Nana took care of me this trip. 8 for 8, all good experiences. Went to the freelancers across from the big Nana sign three times, all good and at 1,500b, much cheaper. Soi Cowboy had a couple hot ones I missed out on. Soi 24(23?) MP’s even did me right with a stellar lay.

After last year, much wiser on how to co-exist with this city. Start by never trying to buck the traffic. That means the tourist stuff is likely off the table.

Make the fantastic Majestic Grande hotel my fortress. Ate from the buffet 4 days straight. Not to mention the little matter of being able to walk to Nana, just three blocks away. See how easy that is, Manila? See, Medellin? To WALK there. Yes, simplicity.

Pity Annie’s, the great soapie joint across the street has moved. I checked its new locale (CH Link), not much there.

Street food vendors are astounding. 2 grilled chicken legs, 3 sticks of grilled squid 2 port 2 chicken 6 grilled prawns for what, ten bucks?
Just kinda morphed into the late-night lifestyle. In Angeles by 1am I’m asleep. Here, plenty of energy and still on the prowl.

Back to that buffet. Pumpkin soup, softshell crab, duck a la orange, fresh mussels and shrimp peel off. The caramelized flan is art itself, the lemon tart so fresh, the crust crumbles when I try to pick it up.

ABOVE THE LAW:

Kinda cool. In for the night at 1am and somehow on the box is Above The Law. My brother has a small part in this. I get to watch him get his ass kicked by Steven Seagal while I eat grilled squid.

NANA:

Rockin’ at 9pm! So many movie-worthy moments. Even Fields at its best can’t rival this energy. Immigration Man plays from the cover band at Hillary 4(hey, how many damn Hillary restaurants ARE there?) Hooters is jammed, massage girls every ten feet calling out to the passing trade, so are the trannies decked out despite the heat, no sweating, grilled pork balls and chicken bits and beef intestine vendors, soup makers deaf freelancers selling it for 40, all outside the beehive itself, neon Nana. I apologize for never getting this right but I’m not taking notes here. Nana needs a Kerouac with instant recall to do it justice. Chicks go by with the names like Ni, Fah, Yolk, Play, Dream, Golf, Ploy. Chewing the fresh coconut in my coconut smoothie like the clit of that 20-year-old last night. I’ve dreamed of this place for the long months of making bad screenplays mediocre. Elton John’s Tiny Dancer plays from the band now; it’s 92 degrees and smoke rises from the twenty street vendors, guy coddles noodles, trannies, English drunks passed out, non-stop flow of taxis. My stomach growls from that 3-course buffet. Dim sum shrimp, brie cheese, quiche Lorraine, potato leak soup, fresh mussels and shrimp, cut from the bone whole leg of lamb…then the desert bar-Chocolate banana mousse, strawberry ice cream, caramelized flan. Red velvet cake, lemon tart… That’s Entertainment!

OTHER SLICES TO REMEMBER:

The perfect ass and tits of Yolk (yep, her name’s yolk) at Addict (CH Link); the way Play (yep, name is Play) arched her back spooning; the frenzy of Fab sucking my dick while I rammed the vibrator into her. And that caramelized flan at the Majestic Grande desert bar. Which of the 4 would I do without first?

Let it come to you. Don’t be desperate. Walk away from her if necessary. Even if she’s The 8, the ostrich in the desert. No perfection, walk away.
Soi 23 rip offs. Mamasan wants 4k for a girl with an M on her badge cause that means she’s a model. Too bad she’s a 6, so put any letter you want on her, not biting. Next door down, they’re charging 2.6 for rooms. I just paid 2.1 next door. She waves a glossy one sheet showing the fancy rooms. I don’t care about your rooms, lady. I’m here to fuck. Two-siiiiiiix? Byeeeeee!

Make the Skytrain your friend. Closest stop to me is Flowin Chit(real name ?), then Asok (pronounced ah-so) then Nana(pronounced child-like, na-na!) Soi 24 MP’s (23?) are at PHONG PROM (some shit like that.) Avoid traffic like the plague.

NANA DEAF GIRL:
This one came right at the end, some drama… I fucked a deaf girl in Patts once. This one was hardcore, freelancer, 18 according to her ID. We’ll see about that, no BS, let the hotel decide. Fascinating to watch the interpretation of that document at the security desk especially because she couldn’t speak. Spelling shit out with an ap on her phone, that same ap had her name, her price per hour, condom necessary, etc. In the end they let her in. Look at that belly, gorgeous and raw. Get the rubber off her for an extra 25 bucks. Works for me, doll!

Bangkok, 8 for 8. Great trip.

PATTAYA:

“You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometime…” Stones

Is this it? My 3rd Act place? It’s on the short list. I love the absurdity of Pattaya, the divine juxtaposition. Here’s what a sample day looks like…

11AM. Stumble out to a fresh banana smoothie served at one of 40 food joints that have taken over the bottom level of the mall. That also happens to be 10 steps from the hotel. So, I can walk there and drink my fresh-fruit breakfast.

Wander 15 paces further to find the fish foot massage joint. Oh, how I dearly love my fish massages! Finish the banana smoothie with my feet in the fish tank, being chewed by about 200 little buggers who somehow love the dead skin around my toes.

Wander across Second Avenue to pick up my laundry. The joint’s sign says: Porn Laundry. I know not why, but I do know I have to tell the lady who runs it: “No smewww, no smeww! VIP!” Meaning no perfumes, please. She’s happy to give it to me how I like it for an extra buck or two.

Get the laundry and head back home to drop it off, then back out again to grab a motobiiiiiiiiike to drive the 20 minutes to Sanctuary Of Truth. This 20-minute drive will cost me 150b, about 5 bucks. Oh yeah, and the driver is willing to wait the hour or two I spend at the Sanctuary to drive me back for another five bucks. So, three hours of service for 10 bucks… now, what would that cost in Chicago?

Inside the grounds, I feed the goats, horses, and elephant for a couple bucks. Inside the Sanctuary, I come face-to-face with the Shiva statue: Pauly Vegas contemplates life as slow boat to China… dissolution of human shell… division by pursuit of the superficial… the physical… his sins, his transgressions, his dwelling in the physical… Pauly V contemplates as flutes play the ancient woodwind songs, lotus petals blow. Pauly V getting good with Shiva, renouncing all his worldly petty desires, and…oh shit- gotta split-- gotta make Soi 6 at 5. Shiva the Destroyer will understand.

Motobiiiike back and down to Soi 6. Browse for a fleshen woman to solve the eternal mystery. Find her and fuck her in the sweltering confines of HORNY BAR (CH Link). None of my Chicago friends understand these inscrutable joys.

Grab a baht bus and hang off the back, surely one of the semi-great experiences in the world. Pattaya, beach culture goes by for 10 baht, 30 cents.

How about grabbing a 300 baht message before heading home? Or hit the Legless Arms bar for a cocktail? Maybe Jomtein late for sunset? Tomorrow I head out to the Tiger Farm for the pig races, then the Upside-Down house and a quick spin on the Go Karts.

Heaven, I’m in heaven.

INT. HILTON HOTEL BUFFET - NOON:

Meeting my Pattaya friend Gary for lunch. He turned me on to the Hilton buffet so this one’s on me. The desk girl says there’s a 30-minute wait. My mood changes. “There are 100 tables open.” “All reserved, sir” “What the fuck... (to Gary) … you want to wait? This sucks.” He looks at me like she does, not comprehending my anger. He suggests we go out on the deck of the 16th floor restaurant and have a drink, so we do.

Now we’re outside, looking over Pattaya Bay. In the distance are hang gliders, about 10 of them, boats everywhere. It’s colorful and joyous. Gary tells me he went to the hospital today. Paid 30 bucks for an EKG and bloodwork. What would that cost in the States?

Gary’s like—"Why are you so angry? Look at where we are!” “It’s great, no doubt” “No reason to get angry, man.” And I’m like, “You don’t understand. My whole life is about stress, about money. It’s a rat race built on fear. I’m coming from Chicago, the motto of which is WHERE’S MINE, the constant necessity to hustle or go under. My teaching gigs are always this close to going AWAY. I work ‘til I’m physical sick, sexless, and there is a PONCE in the White House whose face I see EVERY DAY! Anger is ingrained, deep inside me.”

Would I unwind in Pattaya? Maybe. Gary is 65, 5 years older than me, but he looks 10 younger. He’s escaped. $1500 a month will do it here. He tells me how…$200 for rent. $50 for AC, $65 for motobike rental, $200 for monthly food…leaves plenty for happy ending massages, travel to Chang Mai, back to Angeles, etc.

Step off Pauly, step off nine leagues!

Take the Baht bus home to ponder this. Passing are fruit vendors, Buddha vendors, t-shirt stores, currency exchange, message joint, message joint, Indian restaurant, message Indian currency…. bloated Pillsbury doughboy contemplates…ka!

Maybe I will have that “normal massage”. It occurs to me that what’s offered in Pattaya is THE COMPLETE SENSUAL EXPERIENCE-- from the minute you leave your door your body is rubbed, massaged, kneaded, cajoled, made love to with red seaweed, sesame and tamarind, aloe vera, milky lotions, coconut oil massages…welcummmmmm!

THE HILTON SUNDAY BUFFET:

Not even the Bangkok buffet can match it. $60 bucks and worth it. I’ve dreamed of this…
Tiger prawns grilled. Lobster in butter grilled. Oysters on the half shell. 15 varieties of sushi. Best provolone cheese I’ve eaten in my life. Peking Duck. Desert bar with raspberry and chocolate sorbet cream pie, coconut flan…
Heaven.

WALKING STREET - THE CONUNDRUM:

“Don’t believe them! Don’t believe them!”—Suspect Device, Stiff Little Fingers

But this joint ain’t all heaven. Like I said, this was the worst destination for mongering this trip. What happened is…I got priced out.

WHAT I NEED is: the 8, GFE OR PSE, photos ok, no rubber, communication, no rubber checker, into me, into sex, kissing, vibrators ok, no clock watching.

WHAT I GOT was, the seller’s market, non-desperation, 6’s and 7’s and the new price structure- 3000b minimum and the exchange rate not even at 32. Attitude, dull or bored during the interview, a monsoon of fat 4-5-6’s, bed rubber checkers.

I don’t do attitude. Not when the price is $150 bucks. Fucking elephant in the room is that exchange rate: 31.90! Means I get about 31.50 for my 20’s. Wow, it’s was 33.50 last year. That means a Walking Street lay of 1000BF, 3000Lady, 300drinks, 200 motobike= 4500b= damn close to $150 dollars.

Now the digital mongers will tell me how to avoid this—Thai Friendly, Viber…adapt or die, man!

When the price went from 100 to 150, I got priced out. It now has to be perfect to pull the trigger. Blonde 8 with attitude and interview blasé? Pass. Great faced eager-beaver has a big ass? Pass. Can’t afford to get it wrong. On this trip, I got it wrong, too often.

I told one: “You’re looking at the rubber, not my eyes. When you’re looking down there, not here, it’s no good.” Of course, the minute we descend to this stage, Pauly’s dick goes squiiiiiiiish, so the point is almost moot and self-fulfilling.
Pattaya, many misses this trip.

The Walking Street interview doesn’t help. Non-communication at 110 decibels, the music just too much: Can barely hear each other but what difference, it’s the same old shit: What your name? Where you stay? How long you here? I counter with the devastatingly deep; How long you work here? You like? You have baby?

Same thing every night. LK Metro, nothing there. Take motobiike to Beach Road. Take the long way slowly, check for any gems. Nada, zippo. Ziltch in the beer bars. Leaves you…you know what.

PLOY:

In the tradition of great last Thai fucks. In the world of rubber fucks there are checkers and there are forgetters. Ah, the joys of a forgetter! 8:30 LK Metro check, disappointing as usual. Plenty of women, 5’s and 6’s—not for 100+, sorry. Long way motobike to check out Beach Road, nada. Hit Walking Street. Swore off it but it’s 9pm, my last night here, what am I gonna do, go to sleep?

Expecting little, only make it as far as BLISS (CH Link) before I see PLOY. Blonde, 38 kilos, works for me. Drinks? Yes, inside, she laughs big at my fetus keychain, good sign. It’s 150$ all in for her. It’s my last night so fuck it. Off we go. Back home, it started like the usual Walking Street nightmare. Photos she agreed to were 2 and lousy at that. Won’t put on any of the outfits I brought. Then she balks at even taking a shower.

And here comes Type A Pauly, here comes the anger. “You ARE taking a shower.” She looks at me, not quite understanding my anger. I guess everyone who lives here is so well-fucked and coddled here that no one is angry… whatever. I follow that with “You know, you can leave now if you want,” trying to save the 3000. This one looks like another dud.

She showers and comes out. I turn the lights down. Under the covers, nice kissing and moans. I put the rubber on but not all the way and she’s not stopping me. OK, maybe we got something here. Around the horn and it comes off inside her. Wow, I can actually feel this! Try to describe the stroking of a beautiful woman with her kneeling and moaning. Kiss her from behind and she sinks onto her belly, keep stroking, then hit her with the vibrator and dick, then drop to lick her perfectly shaved pussy into leche.

Yeah, 3rd time I’m saying it: Heaven.

BACK IN AC:

No less than 10 women have been feverish on Facebook, knowing I’m only back for 4 days. Jerico, Rochelle Geraldine, Jhoy, Mary Rose, Cathy, Angel, Apple, Darlene, Jennifer, and Daisy all want a piece of that hunka hunka burning love, Pauly Vegas!

ANGEL:

Never had luck with LS doorgirls. Went noodle dick, just wiped out. Perhaps her being the 11th chick in 4 days had something to do with it. Couldn’t be her, (fake) blonde & beautiful. This one started off funny. She and 5 other doorgirls were chewing cheap-ass sandwiches hungrily. I’m like, how much are those things? The sandwich guy said a buck each. I bought him out—10 sandwiches…for the girls!

Upstairs with Angel having drinks, we see one of the Koreans who love to rain down 20 bills on the girls’ heads. These fucking Koreans with their Chicago bankrolls (1 C-note outside, singles inside). She doesn’t like Koreans either and tells me about, 3-3-3, 3000BF, 3 INCH DICK, 3 MINUTE FUCK. “These assholes. What’s a packet of 20’s cost, $10 bucks? You know what we do in the US of A—we rain down 100’s. 500’s!” “Oh really?” she sez, snuggling. I get change for 1500 and start to make it rain 100’s. It’s “party time” so all the girls are on stage below. About 50 girls scramble for the 100’s. Big shot, Pauly, stealing focus from the 20’s dropper. See, that’s how it’s done, Korean….

ROBIN HOOD PAULY:

It’s not just about fucking. I’m concerned with the welfare of these good people.

Last day in Angeles, I see the Mamasan from Wow bar at a food joint. She’s eating some kind of pork fried eggroll thing. “It’s not very big. How you doing, Mamasan? You want another? I’ll buy you one.” How much, I ask the pork eggroll thingy guy. “10 pesos.” That’s 20 cents. Ok, give her 20 of them.” “No!” sez Mamasan. “Cholesterol no good.” Fine, but have a few more…

By now, 3 street urchins crowd in. The oldest is 8, the youngest 5. They sense loose money to be picked up. “We know your name!” “Oh yeah? What is it?” “Handsome!” High-fives! “We know where you from” “Where’s that?” “Your modda and fadda!” High fives! “You guys hungry?”

We hit the 7/11. They look lost in here. It’s doubtful, even though they walk these streets every day, they’ve never been in here. “What you want?” They order small. Fucking crappy 7/11 food. I tell the 7/11 guy: “One chicken dinner for each of them.” Cheers! “No, make it two” Cheers! “Don’t forget to get something to drink, you guys. Biggest thing you can.” They come back with 3 2-liter sodas that are bigger than them. “Don’t forget the ice cream.” They grab two each. They can barely carry the food, stumbling out of the 7/11, thanking me.

Total bill was 25 bucks.

The joy on their faces.

I could do this all day long.

pv

Photo: Doorgirl - Q Bar 01
Photo: Yumie 02
Photo: Freelancers 03
Photo: Apple - Det.5 04
Photo: Shy - Plan B 05
Photo: Thai Animal 06
Photos: NHF Burgos 07 08
Photo: Thai Bangs 09
Photos: Doorgirl - Q Bar 10 11
Photos: Yumie 12 13
Photos: Apple - Det.5 14 15 16
Photos: Wrist Stars 17 18
Photos: Freelancer Jhoy 19 20 21
Photos: Minnie Latex 22 23 24
Photos: Minnie Camo 25 26
Photos: Manila Sis 27 28
Photos: Fields Girls 29 30 31
Photos: Fields Girls 32 33 34
Photos: Fields Girls 35 36 37
Photo: Perimeter Girl 38
Photos: Freelancers 39 40
Photos: Nana Plaza 41 42 43 44
Photo: Nana Plaza 44
Photo: Soi 6 Girl 45
Photo: Nana SG 46
Photo: Complete - Plan B 47
Photos: Burgos Girls 48 49 50
Photos: Fields Girls 51 52 53
Photos: Raymond Street 54 55
Photo: Freelancers 56
Photo: Yumie 57

A PV trip report is always a cause for celebration. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Who else cites a favorite poem by Charles Bukowski and shares his secrets for losing condoms mid-fuck?

Somehow my sore tooth, post root canal, doesn't feel so bad.

Girl in the weed dress is cute. Tough to find a pretty face in AC, thats my big issue.

Man, you take stubborn to an entirely different level and creature of habit to dizzying heights. Kokomos has the worst food in AC, not sure how you can eat there every day.

Great honest report that is a refreshing read.

yeah Blazers, that's Darlene. I can get you her information if you want. Great lady.

I know, compared to Thailand AC's food is a disgrace. but its hard to fuck up wings or eggs and i live on that shit mostly.

funny about that weed dress. i thought it was going to be a big hit but nobody liked it. i gave it to her. had a van gogh dress too. nobody interested. heathens...

Heathens indeed. That weed dress would be a huge hit in Rio. With weed now decriminalized, all the girls bring some to the party.

Pauly,

Great report!

Did you go BBFS on all of them in AC?
You had no check-in issues with 18/19yo at your BKK/Pattaya hotel?


You don't drink...my monthly bill would've been X2.

"Perimeter is equivalent to that (perhaps a notch lower) than Soi 6. That means if you hit 8 clubs, you might find one lady of worth" - Perimeter had some scary shit and no way compares a notch above Soi 6. 1 or 2 bars on soi 6 can take out the entire perimeter.

Shit, you should of flip the close sign and lock the door at the laundry. Made sure she finished with a swallow for that 500.

Making it rain...here's the difference between the Koreans and the Farang's. Koreans are throwing out 20's but they do it all fucking night for 5 nights stright vs. farang who may do it once or twice at 100's for the entire trip.Personally I don't care since I never fucking make it rain, ring the horn, and throw plastic balls. I hear some farangs saying it's disrespectful towards the girls. Personally I think its all business..money is money. The only problem I have with the Koreans and Japanese is their too fucking generous and overpay!

Too bad Casino Filipino does not have a crap table where you can bet the don't and make back half of your trip.

I know your worried 5 years out but I know folks with bigger money problems as living month to month with a $8K mortgage, alimony/CS for the next X years, $1M business investment down the drain etc.
As time goes on, opportunity will come knocking. The main thing is always have your eye on the ball.

Ever look into getting dental work in BKK.

Social media is a monumental waste of time, but this latest report from the Jollibee King was worth a read --especially for the PinaLove productivity tip: brazenly message her "I will pay xxxx per hour." That might be grounds for getting banned from PinaLove, but I'll find out.

I'm in Makati now, heading back to Cebu in a few days.

Ceenotes and (surprise) Blazers added valuable input, too. NFW was I going to check out AC anyway, but I feel even better about that decision now. Been seeing (just seeing) almost all skanks on this voyage and don't need to see any more.

@Ceenotes: eighteen is legal-eagle in Thailand. Can't imagine why you encountered any resistance from the front desk. Unless she had two heads.

Don't forget, Duterte is still doing extra judicial killings of drug dealers! So no surprise the girls weren't interested in the weed dress. That dress be like wearing a MAGA hat to an ANTIFA rally.

Pauly you every thought about retiring in PH?

excellent TRIP REPORT, , , well done my fellow monger

disagree with you regarding Pattaya ,
I was able to fuck for less then 100 a day in pattaya on my last trip this year in April
yeahh I did use social media ( thaifrienly.com )to choose my pussies , but it was worth it
again I am not into perfect looks which is why I have no problem finding pussy in pattaya

Costar, many hotels in Bangkok ban guests under 20. This has been a policy for many of them in the Nana area for around 10 years now. I suspect it is a rule laid down by the local police district.

yeah, they were arguing, her on her telephone translator and I had no idea what it was all about. i was like: WHAT DATE WAS SHE BORN, now subtract, now you have her age, is she 18 or not?

But maybe Murasaki is right, her being 18 might not have been good enough. She was a street chick too, young vibe, so he sensed that.

MS,
It could be costar is staying at his normal digs and they don't bother.

Costar,
I never had an issue in BKK on 18/19 that I can recall but in Pattaya they TRY to give me shit.
ALL male front desk clerks give me grief..female clerks just giggle and I proceed.

Pauly,
Hotel guy was not arguing about her legal age 18. Like most...he was arguing for the hotel policy age of 20. Most new girls will say to the front desk...I'm 18/19 - a fucking adult and the desk will reply yes your an adult but hotel policy is 20+

And if you meet a chic at a gogo or any freelance disco the min age to even step foot inside will be 20 since that is the drinking age. Bouncers check all Thai ID's at the door.

Street meat you really need to check and you'll run into a few 18/19yo with 20+ fake ID's in the freelance discos.

Ceenotes, like Johnny Carson used to say--I did not know that!20 huh? Can't say that's a great development.

Tell you what, I'm here in San Jose Costa Rica and half the chicks on the street outside Nana would be the HOTTEST chick inside the Del Rey right now.

Sad display of what was once a great scene. Hope to find better at Jaco next weekend.

paulyvegas;
Do appreciate you taking your time to share this down to earth report. Do always enjoy AC and miss the gals.

MarcoPolo

Marcopolo, wish I was back there right now. Though it's Saturday night and I'm in Jaco, Costa Rica--supposedly the hottest scene in the country.

Let's see what develops.

Paulyvegas;
I was in AC last may for a few days, did thailand and PI in May/June. had an issue with my HP laptop that went belly up on me and all my pics and notes were in there for the report i was planning to post. well, such junk is sitting in the closet waiting on me to have it fix and retrieve the info, maybe alter on since i got more important issues to deal with.
I'm on my last legs with club hombre but i will always enjoy this website and those precious tips i got for trips and such.
take care and have fun

MarcoPolo

Marcopolo, hope you can resurrect that HP. Would love to see your report. You, along with PV, are among the few who write reports worth reading.
BD

Paulyvegas,

6-7 years ago, we stayed at the Cocal hotel and the action was at the pool bar. I hear it's moved over to Croc's hotel now. Very small scene in Jaco back then.

Another stellar TR from Pauly V, great overview and sweet pulls in AC! Tip: If income is going to decline you can make an easy adjustment. Stop your ongoing habit of passing out pesos everytime you get the SOB STORY from the gals. You're an easy mark and they know it!