I wake up just early enough to see from my hotel room what I convince myself is my flight to Iguacu over the ocean. I compare notes: tight middle seat or tight pussy? I smile comes across my face. We commence coitus again.

I meet my new amigos at Alcazar. Sandman and Godfather have dates. U-dub is on a mission for some new business for him, me and Sandman’s pal Drew. Wants to do a VIPs day. Little do we know the obstacles in store for us.

Obstacle 1 - Nobody Home: We comb internet printouts but all the agencies are closed. We tried to look up escorts in the phone book, but no luck. Things looking grim.

Obstacle 2 – Third World Scam: U-dub finally looks up “terma” in the yellow pages and hits a gold mine of numbers, but none answer. One answers and the claim they have several girls. We visit their some shithole to get pics but these fuckers are just calling independents and charging us a premium. Three hours later, we’re in this shitty place and no pussy. I’m ready to leave and go to Iguacu after all.

Obstacle 3 – No Money, No Bunda: Finally, the girls arrive, and these rip off people want us to pay them, not the girls. Bullshit. We walk out, a whole day wasted. Fuck Rio, I think. Can I drive to Iguacu?

Obstacle 4 – ID Card Fiasco: Just when all looks dead, the girls also leave the place and we see them on the street. I get a cute little spinner named Adriely, one week on the program. I’m too annoyed to go to VIPs, so we go the Debret. We get to the Debret and she says she has no ID. FUCK. My epiphany is a distant memory. But, she gives this cute smile and I’m hooked. “Vipees, Sao Conrado, por favor," I mutter to the taxi driver.

Once we get to VIPs, everything turns around. Adriely is about 5’1”, 95 lbs, nice b cups, maybe 19. We get the Presidential Suite and use it all. We do a round poolside. We order drinks. We do another round on the chair. She orders a sundae with whipped cream. I provide a human banana and later, of course, some leche of my own. Wow.

Here are some pictures of Adriely.

Photo: Adriely

Today was Lula's inauguration, but, in my mind, UWPhoto is the king of Brazil.

I meet back up with the boys and we go to Terracao Atlantica next to Help. Wombat and another guy show up too. Most guys go to help but me, Drew and Wombat call it a nite. Just as we’re finishing our beers, Luiza from L’Uomo shows up. She’s been flirting with me at L’Uomo since I arrived. We have a few beers. Eventually we retire and she gives me her very famous DTBJTC.

Taxis: 50 Reais
Garotas: 400 Reais
Fucking Two Girls With Combined Weight Less Than 200 lbs: Priceless!

Oh man. You should have seen each of these guys faces as they were recalling their adventures. Each guy had his own version of the events that unfolded. It was a riot hearing their story of VIP's. After hearing Seaman's story of eating ice cream off a girl at VIP's I knew that I'd be hitting that place.

Anyone that knows UW knows that the guy loves the hunt as much as any monger I've ever met. I can't even remember how many times we've hooked up now in South America. At least 5 times I think. Hell..it was like 3 times in less than 2 months during one stretch. The guy knows how to find action and is always up for an adventure. That is always a good combination in my book.

It was really interesting to see each guy's style. I still remember Drew's first time in L'Uomo. Man, he looked like a kid in a candy store. Just thinking about that time in Rio makes me want to go back.

The next time the Powerball jackpot is at 50 million or something..all the CH members should put in like $100 each and pray to win. We could split it and hobby in South America for a while........