Prologue:

TO GO OR NOT TO GO -- THAT IS THE QUESTION

I usually have an inkling on where I'd like to visit many months before I actually have the available time to travel. My travels had been set on Cali for some time, an area encompassing Central and South America and much of the Caribbean. I have grown very enamored with Latin culture: the music, the dancing, the food, and, especially, the chicas. I was looking for a new place to visit and despite its overwhelmingly negative image in the popular press I had heard some pretty interesting things about Colombia.
As I investigated this country as a possible mongering vacation destination two disparate sets of opinions began to emerge. On one side were the proponents of caution represented by my family, friends and government authorities. On the other side were the risk-takers and thrill-seekers represented primarily by those daring Hombres who had already blazed a path to this dangerous yet intriguing land.
As I contemplated the wisdom of making such a journey the two sets of voices engaged in battle for control of my thought processes. One side was speaking to me as follows:
> "The Department of State warns U.S. citizens against travel to Colombia. Violence by narcotraffickers, guerrillas, paramilitary groups and other criminal elements continues to affect all parts of the country. Citizens of the United States and other countries have been the victims of recent threats, kidnappings, domestic airline hijackings and murders. Acts of violence against foreigners have occurred in all regions of Colombia, both urban and rural. There is a greater risk of being kidnapped in Colombia than in any other country in the world. In some cases, the victims have been murdered. Since it is U.S. policy not to pay ransom or make other concessions to terrorists, the U.S. government's ability to assist kidnapped U.S. citizens is limited." [US Dept of State. June 10, 1999]

> "Each hour someone is killed in Bogota, the capital city of Colombia. The 8600 cadavers that pass through the morgue pile up every year at an average of 24 a day. Violent death is so ingrained in Colombian life that the health department has listed violence as the leading cause of death for individuals over 10 years old. To date, there isn't a known vaccine for a bullet to the head. For those who like to play the odds in this beautiful land, your insurance company will tell you that there are four kidnappings and 73 murders every day. At least Russian roulette gives you better odds. Colombia is turning into a lawless nation that functions on the edge, barely keeping the lid on anarchy." [Fielding's DangerFinder. 1998]

> "'Es complicado' Colombians say. That's shorthand for the killings, kidnappings, and robberies, the unemployment, and inflation that threaten to crush the fervent spirit of this lush South American republic. An explosive desperation grips Colombians today. Political violence has claimed some 35,000 Colombians in the past decade and displaced one million and a half more. This is a dirty war, which inspires few allegiances but leaves many bodies. Leftist guerrillas and rightist paramilitaries kill suspected enemies with impunity. And then there are the freelancers, hired killers, whose services start at $50 a victim."
Pretty powerful stuff that certainly gives one reason for pause. The other side offered voices that were soothing and calming, chanting their siren songs beckoning me toward barely describable pleasures in a foreign land:
Ø "Cali I believe is the easiest place to pick up non-pro women. They are plentiful and lots are gorgeous. I was blown away! It has the highest concentration of available babes I've ever seen. That's non-pro though."
Ø "I think that they have a law in Colombia that a chica must perform a BBBJ before having sex. If they fail to do this, they must become a nun or something. If you hate BBBJ, do NOT come here!"
> "When it comes to quantity of 'fufu fufu' places, Cali is full of the fufu." Equally powerful statements providing a strong justification for going.
The two sides grappled for my attention and drew me into a classic Freudian ego vs. id dilemma. My ego was advising "be cautious, be careful, don't take a chance," while my id was screaming "go for it, go now, seek immediate gratification."
Viewed slightly differently there was an angel sitting on one shoulder warning me of "kidnapping risk, violent death, explosive national desperation," and a devil sitting on the other shoulder offering "gorgeous babes, legally mandated BBBJs, and fufu galore." Over time the debate grew increasingly one-sided as the devil's whispers became a deafening crescendo. My mind was overtaken by a single thought that rattled around in my head like a never-ending echo: "much fufu to choose from Much Fufu to Choose From MUCH FUFU TO CHOOSE FROM!" There was no longer a debate. I slapped away the angel, shook hands with the devil, and made a definite decision. For better or worse, I was going to Cali, Colombia.

***Tomorrow...the trip to Cali, Colombia begins.***

-----------PREFACE--------------

Before I start to relate some of my experiences let me make a few prefatory comments. My usual style of writing which can be seen in prior reports is heavy on fact, observation, opinion and conclusions but contains little to no storytelling. This time around I thought I'd try a different approach concentrating more on the storytelling to give readers the flavor of what I was thinking and feeling as I experienced Colombia. I hope to also include the "news you can use" material which really is the most beneficial information for someone planning a trip. The narrative style of writing tends to be longer and more time-consuming and I don't know how long I'll persist with this method. I guess until either I become bored, I sense the membership getting bored, or I just plain run out of time to devote to this project.
First, a few thank-yous. As always the prior reports of members were extremely helpful to me in my travels. It is because of this help that I feel an obligation to write these reports so I can in turn provide some help to others. Thanks to Sandman, Treeshark, an Bonvt who all posted a trip report concerning Cartagena during the past 12 months, which encouraged me to take the next step, Cali. I hope I didn't leave anybody out. Thanks also to those of you who corresponded with me by e-mail and provided such excellent advice and information. I'll leave out your names, as I'm unsure whether or not you care to have them mentioned.
Prices will be quoted here in the currency in which I paid. On a few occasions that was U.S. dollars but for the most part it was Colombian Pesos which I'll abbreviate as CPs. The exchange rates I received were 1,600 CPs to 1 US$ at Miami Airport. The rest of my conversions were done in Colombia at ATMs. The conversion rates ranged from 2,500 to 2,700 CPs to the dollar. In the final analysis my weighted average conversion rate was 2,750 CPs to the dollar.


ENROUTE TO CALI

The good part about not getting a flight to Barranquilla is that I actually got a decent amount of sleep the night before my departure. Going to Barranquilla required a dawn flight which would have necessitated a 3 a.m. departure from my home.
The Cali flight left at midday so a full night's sleep was on the agenda. I don't know about you guys but I find I always have to pay a price before leaving for a mongering trip. My trips tend to be 8 to 11 days in duration (a workweek sandwiched by 2 weekends plus maybe another day or two). To get my personal and business affairs in order I usually spend 4 to 5 nights burning the midnight oil just prior to my departure day. The result is I leave already quite tired when my objective was to depart as rested, relaxed and ready as possible for the activities that are awaiting me.
I got to Miami airport about 25 minutes late but my flight to Cali was pushed back about 30 minutes so I had enough time for the two pieces of business I wished to transact in Miami.
First I headed for the Avianca counter to pick up and pay for my ticket from Cali to Cartagena which I had reserved the day before. This was done late Friday after Miami Airport and all other East Coast offices were closed. I had called the Los Angeles office to procure the reservation. If you don't know in advance the available rates and the corresponding rules and regulations there is a very good chance you will not be offered the lowest rate. I knew of the Class Q 3-day advance purchase rate so the ticket I purchased for a Cali-Bogota-Cartagena route was a reasonably priced US$109. My revised itinerary put together the day before eliminated the Cartagena-Bogota-Cali return so the change saved me a like amount of US$109. [I'll try to provide some separate notes later on ideas for saving money on domestic ticket purchases in Colombia.]
My second stop was at a money exchange booth. I wasn't confident one would be open on Saturday night in Cali so I wanted to arrive with some Colombian money in my possession. The conversion rate was a lousy 1650 Colombian pesos [CPs] to one US dollar plus a $2 fixed fee regardless of transaction size. This I knew was a horrendous rate, but I had no time to check for a better one so I converted a minimal amount of US$100.
I had good seating fortune on the way to Cali as I was given the first row coach aisle seat which had no seat or bulkhead wall in front of me. My legs were fully extended in front of me the whole trip. Sitting next to me was a fascinating and attractive Colombiana about 36-38 years of age. She spoke English well, so we talked nonstop for 3+ hours. She was well-to-do and obviously not a typical Colombiana.
She split time living among 3 cities: Cali, Miami and Paris, but Cali was her real home. Two of her three brothers had been kidnapped by rebel guerrillas and were currently being held for ransom. One had been captive for 2 months, the other for 8 months. One was taken directly from his office in the factory he ran by 15 armed men. He was driven away in his own car. The other was intercepted after leaving his home. Before the first one was captured a "message" had been sent. The two dogs that lived in and guarded the factory were shot dead and left in front of the brother's office. I didn't quite get the purpose of the message (perhaps a request to make some payments?), but that surely would have gotten my attention.
This woman (name withheld) spends no more than 10-12 days in Cali at a time because she fears that if she is there too long her movements will be tracked and she, too, will become a kidnap victim. She and her husband own another house on a lake in the hills 20 minutes from Cali and they can NEVER go there due to the threat of guerrilla activity in the area.
Security issues in and around Cali should not be easily dismissed. During my brief stay there concern over security was a theme that resurfaced several times.

ARRIVAL IN CALI

I was one of the first ones off the plane so I went through immigration relatively quickly and easily. After passing through immigration I picked up my tax exemption form at a booth immediately to the right. This is important because if you don't have it when you leave the country you will pay double the US$27 airport exit tax that you pay if you do have it. Baggage unloading was slow so I lost some time there. All told it took about 45 minutes from exiting the plane to catching a taxi.
I was supposed to be picked up by someone from the Hotel Windsor Plaza [HWP] staff, but nowhere did I spot a HWP van or car or a sign with my name on it. So after the obligatory 10-minute search and wait I headed out to the HWP on my own. 20,000 CPs and 30 minutes later I was warmly greeted by the bellman, Gustavo, and the night manager, Alex, who tell me they will do ANYTHING to make my stay more comfortable. I like the sound of that and file that information away for possible future use.
The HWP is a good choice when in Cali. It meets the criteria most often employed by hombres when looking for accommodations: very hombre friendly, clean and comfortable, good location close to some action and in that very affordable price range [US$35-US$50] of similar hotels in other hombre locations. It is located 1 block off Avenida Sexta, the main restaurant, shopping, club and discoteca center of Cali. In one direction you can walk to Chipichape Mall, a large, modern shopping complex with possibilities for encountering non-pro Calenas. In the other direction your walk will connect you with Paseo Bolivar where you can cross the Rio Cali and visit the few sites of note in the old section of the city.
Be sure to establish your room rate ahead of time with the hotel. They can be contacted by e-mail at windsor@colombianet.net. I was originally quoted a $US50 rate but I responded back that a friend of mine had received a rate of 100,000 CPs (about US$35) and I was granted that rate.
In Colombia remember to always carefully check your bill. I checked my hotel bill the night before my departure and they had my rate listed as 110,000 CPs. There was no problem correcting it, but the onus is on you to look for and point out any errors. The same was true of the guest fee. The manager told me it would be 30,000 CPs the first night I brought in company. I pointed out that Gustavo quoted 20,000 and that another friend of mine had paid that amount, and again there was no problem in making the adjustment. In fact, on my second night Alex waived the guest fee charge altogether.

SOME IMPRESSIONS OF CALI

Cali will forever be imprinted on my mind for its impressive hills juxtaposed side by side to form deep valleys. Yes, Cali is located in the Cauca Valley nesting between 2 mountain ranges, the Western and Central Cordilleras. But that's not what I'm talking about. What I am referring to is cleavage (see somepictures posted on Cali discussions ) and you will be inundated with the amount you will see, most all of major league caliber. Colombian women as a general rule are well endowed and they are not inhibited to dress in a manner which shows off their assets to best advantage. Based on my travels to date I am prepared to declare Cali, Colombia the "Cleavage Capital of the World."

Cali has a few sites worth visiting, but these can be seen in the space of a single day. It in no way compares with major Latin cities such as Rio, Havana or even Quito from a cultural interest or sightseeing point of view. If security wasn't a concern Cali could be used as a base for visiting some really interesting archaeological sites, national parks and smaller towns of note. Security is a major concern, however, and hence you are essentially limited to what is contained in the safe zones within the city.
Consequently there is one, and only one, reason to go to Cali and that is for its women. During my limited stay I spent time with two Calenas and eyeballed many more and it's clear there are a lot of very attractive women in that city.

***Tomorrow...some very specific detail on one of Cali's better venues and the chica that I met there.***


SCOPING OUT THE NIGHTLIFE

By the time I had checked in and unpacked it was late and I knew there was little time to do extensive searching. I felt, though, that a quick walk along Avenida Sexta to get a feel for the area was a good idea. The Hotel Windsor Plaza is located one block away from Avenida 6N next to a particularly active section between calle 15N and calle 20N. Along this stretch are many bars, discos generating loud music, restaurants, stores and tons of people both on and off the street. There was definitely a charged and pulsating atmosphere in the air. The crowd was young with many teenagers in evidence. It was not obvious which, if any, establishments would be good to better bets for meeting the locals.
There were a few calls of "my friend" but nothing like what one finds in Cartagena. I stopped a few times to chat with "mis amigos" and see what information I could extract. I verified some info I already had and got some new data as well. More importantly, I got a second opinion on a strip club called Flores Frescas [Fresh Flowers] and was told it was the best establishment of its kind in Cali. That provided all the verification that I needed, and after a short taxi ride I was there.

TIME TO STOP AND SMELL THE FLORES - A.K.A "Ground Zero" to many mongers.

The outside of the building is unmarked and non-descript with a parking lot off to the side. Security out front does a quick body pat before allowing you inside. When the guard asked for a "propina" I offered him the verbal tip that he keep his hands to himself next time I visit there. I wisecracked that I hoped this was a hetero club and I paid the entrada of 15,000 CPs.
Up a dark, winding staircase adorned with erotic art and at the top you find yourself near a small bar serving area, the bathrooms and the entrance to the main room.
This place certainly wasn't elegant, but neither was it a complete dive. There is a raised rectangular stage surrounded by a few benches plus some cushy chairs and sofas. There are also some raised bleacher level seating around two sides of the room. About 15 to 20 chicas were milling about. There were about 5 to 6 local guys seated who were laid back to the point of seeming to almost be asleep. Two other gringos were there who were kind of loud and a tad obnoxious. Then there was me: low key and well-mannered and, as always, patiently and deliberately scoping out the scene.
The place was not high energy but I liked it. First, there was no hustling going on for drinks, for attention, for anything. Second, the manager told me that anytime I wanted to meet someone to just tell him and she would be sent over. Third, after a while most of the girls came over one-by-one to introduce themselves. But that was it--a quick hello and no hustle whatsoever.
Now, back to the chicas at Flores Frescas. Some of the flores appeared none too fresca. A few seemed downright wilted. But others held definite possibilities. The girls ranged from 5 to 8, with unfortunately no stunners truly deserving of a 9 in evidence. [As a side grading note, my view is that there are no 10s. A 10 is an abstract ideal of perfection, something to be used as an absolute standard of measurement, and something which no female can ever attain. A 9 is a truly stunning woman, someone who excels in every department: face, body, smile, etc. A 9 is someone who would cause almost all men to stop in their tracks, turn around, and drop their jaws. A 9 is a rare specimen and a very small percentage of women meet this standard.]
When evaluating the chicas you really do have to make sure that you cover all the angles because there are some very cute girls with shapely bodies who are appealing but who, upon closer inspection, are carrying a few extra pounds in their hips and/or butt. This may very well not be noticeable until viewed from just the right angle. A little patient observation ferrets out all such candidates for your attention.
I narrowed the field to three girls each of whom clearly deserved a rating of 8+. Next came the harder part--selecting one from the finalists.
Two of the three began to stand out so it became a two-horse race. One of my classic tie-breakers is to differentiate on the basis of projected personality: are they laughing and smiling? are they interacting with the other girls? do they look like they're having fun? Both girls passed this test about equally. Then there is the dance test: are they animated? do they dance sexily? can they shake their stuff in both slow and fast motion? Again, neither had problems here and both were about equal.
I finally chose the taller of the two, a 5'7" beauty with a classic Latina look: long, thick, wavy black hair halfway down her back; a light, golden skin color; a body that was curvaceous yet carried not a drop of excess fat. She was wearing a short, form-fitting, red strapless dress. She had a slight hint of mystery about her. She was one of only a few chicas who didn't come over to introduce herself to me. Was she shy or stuck-up? I thought probably neither since she held eye contact with me every time I gave her the once over. She was the one!
There was no need for the manager's help here as I made my way over to her at the next available opportunity. My introduction was well-received and I ordered us drinks and began the process of small talk in my primitive yet improving Spanish. Her name was Diana. The process of mutually disrobing each other's personalities had begun. I liked what I was sensing and my feelings of anticipation were growing. Rapport was established and a mood had been struck.

IS CALI PART OF THE WWF CIRCUIT?

Just then the lighting changed and a voice made an announcement about an espectaculo. All right, I'm game for a little entertainment. The two-girl lesbian show was about to begin!
Now some of you guys might really enjoy the kind of entertainment that was provided. For me it was a real turn-off and I couldn't wait for it to end.
All other activity stopped and all eyes were on the two girls on stage. The first problem for me was the quality of the performers. The girls rated a 5 and a 6 and because of their body types they looked liked a female, Latin version of Laurel and Hardy. I didn't want to look at these girls doing anything, and especially not having sex.
The second problem was there was nothing sensual about the way they acted. These girls liked it rough and non-stop. One girl was wearing a strap-on and was delivering a brutal pounding to the other. Bodies were rolling around all over, at times spilling off the stage and into the seats. It was pretty much like watching a World Wrestling Federation match, only the Hulkster and company would have been much more attractive to look at. At one point, unfortunately, I became part of the show as the two of them wound up on my lap still going at it 2fast and 2furious. There was a lot of grunting and squealing and if I closed my eyes I could easily imagine it was feeding time at the swine exhibit at one of the farm state fairs [yes, I've been there.] As I said, not exactly my cup of tea.

PLUCKING THE CHOICE FLOWER

After an eternity (in reality about 15-20 minutes) the show mercifully ended. I quickly turned my attention back to Diana and re-established the prior mood. We shifted to a slightly more private setting in the balcony area and began to dance to the pleasant mix of Latin and American music. We were having a nice time. She was friendly but not overly so, with casual contact being the order of the day. All vibes were positive and by now I was convinced she would be a very good choice.
I asked her if she wanted to leave with me and received the assumed affirmative response. At that point the club manager got involved and negotiations began. I believe the opening position was 200,000 CPs to the chica plus 60,000 to the house for all night. I knew that was way overpriced and counteroffered and after some back and forth we settled on 50,000 CPs to the house and 150,000 CPs to the chica for a period that would allow me 2 1/2 hours with her in my room. Maybe I could have done a tad better but I was content with approximately $75USD total for quality time with this beautiful Calena.
After a quick taxi ride we were at the hotel and in my room. Now came the time for that experience you all know so well: the hombre reality check. Sometimes this occurs just after arrival in a new land; more frequently it happens just as one is about to have their initial encounter there. Pinch once: nope, I'm not dreaming. I'm awake and really in Cali, Colombia, land of women whose beauty is legendary. Pinch a second time: Yup, that beautiful woman right there--the gorgeous 21-year-old with the long, wavy hair, stellar smile and all those curves is really herein my room with me ready to hopefully make my night a most pleasurable one.

MY ENCOUNTER WITH A HURRICANE FORCE

I turned on my discman and portable speakers and offered Diana her choice of music. She selects Celine Dione which is a popular choice for a lot of chicas. I personally find it creates a relaxed and sensual mood conducive to intimate activities. She begins to dance slowly to the music, her hips tracing sexy circles in the air. Not content to merely watch, I approach her from behind embracing her across her waist and pushing my body close against hers. She pushes back against me and now we both jointly draw circles in the air. The sexual tension is almost unbearable.
Now I know you know what this feeling is like. You've planned and looked forward to your trip for at least several months. You've done extensive research to select the right destination and find the best venue there. You've made a careful and apparently good chica choice and you're at the early stages of discovering just how sexy this particular chica is. The fragrant smell of her hair, the feel of her soft skin, the taste of her lips, the sultry sound of her voice, the sight of her supple body gyrating against yours. You're on sensory overload! You're about to explode!
As we're dancing my hands continually map the terrain of her body and she reaches back to likewise explore mine. The pace keeps building but in a gradual, natural way. I unfasten her dress which easily slips to the floor and partially disrobe myself. I alternate between kissing her shoulders, neck and ears, then spin her around to devote attention to her face and breasts. She returns my favors with soft, gentle kisses which evolve into long and deep oral explorations. Diana was an incredibly passionate kisser. At this point my anticipation and sense of longing were as great as I ever remember them being.
As I slid my hands across and between her thighs it was evident she was very wet even before ever making touchdown on the bed. I led her to the bed where we continued to kiss and intensified the physical contact between us. She seemed very turned on and I decided to see if I could ratchet her up to the next level. As Emeril would say I "kicked it up a notch." She responded intensely when I pushed the right buttons thrusting her hips toward me as she uttered increasingly louder moans and cries. She began pleading "comeme el chocho," (Eat my Pussy)a request I was more than happy to repeatedly oblige.
She returned my favors in kind and for the rest of the time we made love in every conceivable position on, off, and hanging off the bed. Each time I thought there was a chance things might slow down just the opposite occurred. So for 2 1/2 hours the pace and intensity of our passion kept increasing. She was insatiable and, since this was my first night of mongeringing on this trip, I pretty much was too.
At the end of our session I felt as though I had compressed a whole vacation's worth of sex into a couple of hours. Of course, by the next night I had regained my senses and was back out on the prowl again. But at that moment that was exactly how I felt.
I said my goodbyes to Diana as best as I could, after all what can one say after such an experience? This was not a problem concerning a lack of knowledge of Spanish; rather it related to the general inadequacy of language--any language--to accurately and completely convey such complex and intense emotions with mere words. The final embrace and penetrating looks which we exchanged spoke the volumes which otherwise were left unsaid.
Exhausted and somewhat dazed from my just-concluded encounter I reflected that I had been in Colombia for a mere 8 hours yet had already achieved a peak experience that I knew would be difficult to duplicate--any time anywhere. I was beginning to understand why the women of this city have drawn such rave reviews. I drifted off to sleep thinking that the promise of the sign greeting visitors at the airport, "Welcome to Cali, Colombia," had certainly been fulfilled. That night was indeed some kind of special welcome to Cali.

***Tomorrow...exploring more of Cali and another memorable night with another beautiful Calena.***

-------------- Day 2 -------------------

THE MORNING AFTER

I got up the next morning after 5-6 hours of sleep, not wanting to waste the only day I had in Cali. After a quick shower I went down to the HWP's dining room, as breakfast was included with the cost of the room. The breakfast was quite good: meats and cheeses, assorted fruit, cereal, omelettes made to order, juices and coffee. You could have the kind of meal that would last you through the day until dinner if you wanted. Another point to recommend the hotel.
After breakfast I thought I'd take another walk along Avenida 6N, but this time go as far as Chipichape Mall which had been recommended by numerous sources as an excellent spot at which to meet the locals. Being Sunday morning, however, Avenida 6N was very quiet with most establishments closed.
Chipichape Mall was similarly quiet. It's clean and modern and consists of seven separate buildings arranged around various courtyards and open spaces. There are eating areas and a few amusement rides for children. It is not an American-style indoor mall since you walk outdoors to go from one store to the next. While I was there only a few stores were open and there weren't many customers. Yet based on what I observed of the salesgirls working as well as the few shoppers there I would have to concur that this would be a good place for trying to meet non-pros. Don't go Sunday morning, however.

CALI SIGHTSEEING

I decided I would spend the afternoon visiting the sites in and around Cali that were of cultural and historical significance. I had compiled a list of what I thought were worthwhile sites and reviewed it with hotel staff as well as the taxi driver I was hiring to take me around. Here is where security surfaced as a real concern. All discussed excursions outside of the city, except for one, were dismissed as being too dangerous. In some cases the danger was specific to my status as a tourist (especially an American), while in other cases the threat was universal and extended to residents of Cali as well. There actually are some very beautiful and interesting places to see outside of Cali, and it's a shame they can't be visited due to the threat of kidnapping by guerrillas for ransom.
Be advised that if you visit Cali be extremely careful about venturing outside of the city into small towns and the countryside. You absolutely must check and doublecheck the wisdom of going to your target destination. If you have any doubts you should just stay put in Cali. DO NOT LEAVE THE CITY, NO MATTER HOW HOT THE CHICA MAY LOOK THAT IS TEMPTING YOU, IT COULD BE A SET-UP!
The one trip I did make was to visit Hacienda El Paraiso which is about halfway along the road going north from Cali to Buga. This is about 20-30 miles outside of Cali and is a very pretty and tranquil location in the foothills overlooking the Cauca Valley. It would be a nice spot to get away to for a few hours with your favorite Calena. Food is available from outside vendors but it would be preferable to bring a nice picnic lunch with you. The hacienda dates back to 1815. It was once a working colonial farm that has now been turned into a museum of sorts reflecting the lifestyle of wealthy Colombian landowners around the turn of the century. The locale has special significance in the arts and literature of the country. I mention El Paraiso because there are very few places like this which are safe to visit outside of Cali.
The trip between Cali and El Paraiso provides glimpses of some serious pockets of poverty. It also offers the possibility of an encounter or two with the Colombian military who have checkpoints set up to look for transport of weapons.
Within Cali, itself, there are several places of note, though none really spectacular. Several churches maybe worth a look are La Merced, San Francisco and La Ermita. There are a couple of museums as well. Plaza de Caicedo is the city center surrounded by a Cathedral and the Palacio Nacional. Even if you are really into this stuff you 'd be hard pressed to stretch out your sightseeing beyond one day.
There are two vantage points from which one can get excellent views of the city. Monumento Las Tres Cruces is on a high hill overlooking the city and is marked by three crosses. This place, visible from my hotel room, is a dangerous place controlled by guerrilla forces and definitely off limits. Monumento Christo Rey, a big statue of Christ the King perched on another high hill, poses perhaps a lesser danger. There were different opinions on the wisdom of going there. I played it safe and visited neither.
Should you wish to hire a car expect to pay about 10,000 CPs (or $US 5) per hour. If you go on a longer excursion to Hacienda El Paraiso or elsewhere you will have to pay more due to road tolls and the extra gas that will be used.
The Cali Zoo is another option you have. I took my non-pro girl there and had a great time. After seeing to bears start their sex ritual, it led to some very interesting ex between me and my calena that night <wink>..

CLUB HOPPING AND CHICA SHOPPING

After four hours of touring I caught a few extra hours of sleep before heading out for the evening. I wasn't expecting a particularly active night as it was Sunday, which usually is the slowest night by far for almost anyplace you might visit. My first two choices for dinner were closed so I decided to head up to Gregory's on Avenida 6N between calle 28N and calle 29N. I had a pretty decent steak dinner there before heading next door to visit a two-club complex.
The hawkers on the street will try to attract your attention and funnel you into the clubs. There is no admission fee. I decided on the street-level club Latin Ladies as my first destination. The club had a number of curved, padded booths as well as a few tables and chairs. The front walls had murals in a Romanesque style. There was a non-raised stage area in the front middle and I was told there would be an espectaculo soon. I prayed that the WWF had not planned a repeat performance at this location.
There were 3 or 4 chicas in the club all wearing white, 2-piece, bikini-style outfits. After I got a good look I determined that all were carrying excess baggage and, therefore, none would do. At one point one of the girls was seated with me and I politely conveyed my lack of interest. It was very difficult to communicate anything at all as the music in the club was extremely loud. One of the hawkers kept parading by idiotically smiling at me and proclaiming the girl at my table "muy buena" about every 30 seconds. I'll be the judge of that, thank you very much. Eventually the girl got my message and left.
A second girl from outside the club was later brought to my table. She, too, was repeatedly proclaimed "muy buena." Actually this one did have a cute face and slender body--nothing to do cartwheels over but still a solid 7. However, the loud music layered upon my beginner Spanish skills made communication very difficult. Had I been enamored with her I would have found a way to get my points across, but with last night's 8.5 still fresh in my mind I decided to let her go as well. With no good prospects available and no signs of a show about to start, it was time to depart for hopefully greener pastures. By the way drinks in Latin Ladies are overpriced so pay as you go to keep tabs on your bill.
Right next door and upstairs is Club Rio, apparently under the same ownership as Latin Ladies. There is no entrance fee here either. There were more people here and the music was at a more tolerable level. There was about an equal number of guys and girls. The girls appeared to be a mix of non-working out with their boyfriends and working ones soliciting companionship. One of the working girls really caught my eye: a light-skinned black girl with a slender yet curvy body and a beautiful face with sparkling eyes and broad smile. She was indeed a 9. Unfortunately she was 'ocupado.' I continually verified that she was really taken and she was. There were some other decent options in the club--at least a couple of 7s--but I had a higher standard in mind for that night. Time to move on once again.
Now I should mention that Flores Frescas was closed Sunday night; otherwise at that point I would have returned there. Instead I went to a new club I discovered by working the street intelligence. It was Marineras Night Club located at Calle 17N No. 6N - 28 B. It is right off Avenida Sexta and very close to the HWP. There was no entrance fee so I went inside and sat at the bar. It was quite dark inside in the main area consisting of the dance floor and surrounding tables. Consequently, it was difficult to evaluate quality, particularly for those chicas who were seated. Not equipped with a cattle prod to force the issue, I waited for the inevitable trips to the dance floor, bar or bathroom to get a handle on just who was in this club. Ultimately I ascertained that the chica population all rated 6 or less, so once again it was time to leave empty-handed.

SPEAKING IN TONGUES, then GONE WITH THE WIND

I decided to return to my hotel and play my trump card. I crossed the street, rounded the corner and came to a screeching halt. I stopped so fast that smoke was virtually spewing from my shoes. About 6 inches in front of me was the sexiest girl I had yet seen in Cali. She was wearing an extremely short black miniskirt that barely covered her ass, black high heels, and a low-cut white halter-top from which ample cleavage was protruding. She had a killer body, killer face and killer smile. She was a stunningly gorgeous 9.5 and was probably 18-19 years old. She embodied all of the reasons we travel across continents in search of the finest specimens of the opposite sex. I wanted her badly. Who wouldn't?
I had no advance warning of her presence and therefore no time to plan how to approach her. In fact, I really had to apply the brakes to keep from bumping into her as I rounded the corner. After I picked my jaw up off the sidewalk, wiped the drool from my chin and placed my eyeballs back in their sockets, I started babbling incoherently in Spanish, English and probably Swahili too. I had no idea what I was saying, so clearly she didn't either.
The stunner was accompanied by an unattractive friend who spoke English well and who interceded to elevate communications above the existing Cro-Magnon level. Apparently the friend assisted in arranging "meetings" for the stunner. What a happy coincidence--I like meetings quite a lot. In fact, my calendar shows I have an opening right now and. Unfortunately (and it still brings a tear to my eye when I think about it), this encounter falls into the genre of "the one that got away" stories.
Most disappointingly the girls were waiting on a pre-arranged "meeting" with another gentleman. He arrived within minutes and the two of them departed with him in a taxi. I now truly understand how Scarlett O'Hara felt as she watched her beloved Tara plantation burn to the ground. If that guy in the taxi was any of you bastards reading this board then "as God is my witness, you're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, if I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill; as God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!" Sorry for that outburstÖbut I got a bit carried away with that Scarlett analogy.
Just before leaving the English-speaking one asked me to wait for her to return, and if I had been staying in Cali longer I would have done just that to find out about her friend and the services offered. This was my last night, however, and I had to get up early the next morning to catch my flight to Cartagena. I had to move on in order to make the most of my waning hours.

CALLING ON MY ACE IN THE HOLE

I returned to the HWP where my ace in the hole, Alex, the night manager, greeted me. Alex, oh Alex, do you remember? The sly grin on his face reassured me that he was not suffering from Alzheimer's disease. I reminded him of his pledge to do ANYTHING to make my stay more comfortable and then described to him how I wanted ANYTHING to look like and perform. He told me he had the perfect girl in mind, one who matched the physical characteristics I had laid out, one who was sure to please, one who I was likely to fall in love with. Based on his description I was already in love with this girl.
Alex got on the phone, tracked her down and negotiations started: 350,000 CPs requested for all night; 170,000 CPs counter from me for 3 hours; 150,000 CPs final agreed-upon price for the requested time period. Alex waived the 20,000 CPs guest fee, though I assume he received something for bartering the transaction. I paid Alex upfront which I normally don't do, but he and others at the hotel had treated me well and I felt comfortable with this arrangement
I went up to my room to wait for Marcela. The problem sometimes with order-in as opposed to take-out is that you don't have time to get to know someone and build up some trust and rapport before starting activities in your room. The problem is exacerbated if you're on a short clock.
Marcela showed up promptly and when I opened the door I immediately noticed two things: (1) she was extremely cute; (2) she had a beautiful smile, despite the fact she was wearing braces. Now the braces bothered me a bit at first but within 5 minutes I had forgotten all about them. Marcela was incredibly sweet and funny and totally un-self-conscious. We were quickly both at ease with each other and having fun. She suggested we shower which we did but with some difficulty. This brings me to my second problem with the HWP, the unpredictability of the availability of hot water. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't; sometimes you had to wait, sometimes not; sometimes it lasted, other times you had to finish very quickly.
When Marcela slipped out of her clothes I realized I had another gem at my disposal for the evening. She had a curvy body with no fat whatsoever; average-size, perky breasts; and a tight ass with a delicate flower tatoo on her right cheek. She was 20 years old with auburn hair, light olive skin and a warm, endearing smile. She was neatly trimmed like her predecessor from the evening before. Another 8 unquestionably.
This particular time the hot water lasted only a minute or so and we were forced to rinse off with cold water. Hot-blooded Latina women seem to have a much higher tolerance for cold showers than I do (though, curiously, a lower tolerance for air conditioning.) In any event I was freezing after showering and, like George Castanza [of Seinfeld fame], a tad concerned about "shrinkage." I immediately dove under the covers with Marcela to generate some body heat and reverse the shrinkage process. That didn't take long. She was an incredible kisser like Daniela from the night before, but unlike Daniela was more tender and caring in her lovemaking. The prior night's tigress was followed by a pussycat. That approach better suited my mood that evening. Marcela was a lot of fun to be with and I had another incredible few hours with a beautiful Calena that night.

CALI WRAP-UP

My time in Cali was short--way too short--and I wish I had had more opportunity to interact with the local women. I had two fantastic experiences there on two consecutive nights. I probably had a little luck on my side but my guess is that those experiences are representative of what you can find in Cali if you make wise choices.
The average woman in the street certainly sets a high standard in the looks department. Based on the descriptions of others concerning the Calenas' temperaments and desires it is easy to understand why Cali is such a good choice for those seeking a mate.
Cali is limited in terms of sites and attractions, has no beaches or accessible mountains, and due to security concerns imposes necessary constraints on your movements in and out of the city. For those reasons there will be better destinations for many of you "enjoying the life." But, if you're content with hanging out in bars, restaurants and clubs, and enjoy spending most of your time focused on "the chase," then you're bound to have an enjoyable and rewarding time there. Speaking some Spanish is definitely helpful as it always is in Latin countries. If ypu pick up some salsa moves your non-pro chica action will inxrease exponentially.
I barely scratched the surface on my visit, but I think what I have described gives you a decent feel for the place. The specifics I have provided should help jump-start anyone's trip.
Here are a few other tips for those in search of the non-pros. Cali's clubs close (or at least used to close) on the early side (2 a.m.), so many residents head out to an industrial zone north of the city in and near Yumbo. Yumbo is about 5 miles north of Cali but it is safe to travel there. Apparently there are quite a few discos there which stay open quite late and attract many Calenas. Juanchito is a different section or suburb of Cali you might try. It is known for having the best salsa clubs in town but it has a reputation as being a somewhat dangerous area. It is probably best to be accompanied by a local if you go there.
Chivas are open-sided painted buses transporting partygoers from bar to bar to the accompaniment of music provided by an on-board rumba band. It's essentially a party on wheels. I'm not sure if this is just a weekend activity or not, but there were a lot of chivas cruising Cali on both the Saturday and Sunday nights I was there. Cost is roughly $5USD. Some liquor is included. It's probably more of a tourist thing but I understand some of the locals participate. In any event you will meet the chicas when you stop in the bars and you can get off the bus permanently should you happen to find Miss Right. The Hotel Intercontinental runs one and you need a reservation. It sounds like a fun thing to do and I'm sorry I missed it.

Picture of local non-pro calena I spent some quality time with at Cali Zoo...

Outstanding report! There are few Cali reports like this one that really convey the feel of the city as well as provide specific information that a monger can use. Thanks! I hope to provide the same upon my return from Cali in March.

La Muerte

I loved the report, thanks. The girl is cute. Do not worry about the one that got away, there are plenty of others as well.

Moondog

thx guys, I truly enjoyed my experiences at Cali and look forward to returning there after my trip to Sao Paolo Brazil, and of course Buenos Aires.....I still think of the one that got away however...she was that beautiful..a cross between Selma Hayek and Jeniffer Lopez...

Well done Batman. You will enjoy Rio as well. I'll be interested to see if you change your opinion of the "Cleavage capitol of the world".

sandman

Any concerns about your new style of reporting should be put to rest. It was a fabulous report that gave a lot of information besides just the facts. Very entertaining.

I've been looking at some columbian marriage agenies just to get a general idea of how some columbiams look, and was amazed. Many eye popping proportions. It is a shame with all of the danger and all since I would really love to travel to some of the smaller cities like turbaco and soledad.

I am trying to root up info on some mid sized cities that would be safe to travel to. Will post as I get info.

I will following your path as I head to Medellin, CTG, Cali, and Bogota 3/3 - 3/18. Any other hotel/safety/chica advice. This is my first time and I will be alone, as I have found no other mongers in Colombia in March.

Batman,
Hats off to you on an excellent report!
Your report is a model on how others should be reporting.

Looking at the snap of the non-pro calena: are those boobs real??!!

Thanks BKKguru...no these in particular were inserts...however, 70% of the calenas have real boobs like this....it's a great city, you can't go wrong..remember: the cost of plastic surgery in Cali is about 90% less than in USA....i.e. On an occasion she asked me what the going rate for breat implants in the states were, I told her that many women back home commented to me that they paid nearly $7,000USD for this procedure.....in Cali, breast augmentation went for less than $1,000USD in most high-class reputable clinics. You can see, how many women would get this done, if they were a size A cup...but reality is that it's cheap becuase many women do not need it, they are naturally blessed with beautiful bodies...enjoy Cali!!

Batman,
Couple of questions for you:
i) Your report makes no mention of the non-pro you met and your visit to the Cali Zoo. Did you exclude this on purpose?
ii) Will you be posting a report on your visit to Cartajena and other cities?

Thanks!

BKKguru,

I) Yes, I did leave her out of this report for the reason that she was a non-pro, and this report was targeted for those interested in knowing about P4P
activities. If you have specific questions about non-pros however, shoot me an e-mail via this board.

II) If it's Cartagena you want, Sandman has done an outstanding job reporting about this beautiful city already, and I would not even dare compete with his style fo writing...go to the trip reports section and look up reports by "SANDMAN" and you will see his full report of Cartagena that inspired me to write about Cali...it would really not make a lot of sense to just reiterate what he has bautifully written about already...enjoy!