In Thailand, I would be considered an idiot. I speak very few Thai words, smile a lot, and have become proficient as a pantomime.

During my last 2 trips to LOS, I focused my energies on massage places and soapies, seeking out the hotties. I think I've been to most massage parlours, or at least peaked my head in for a look.

Most massages open around 2 p.m., except for CPII which opens before noon. The selection usually gets better in the late afternoon, before the rush hour traffic of men who are getting off work. Night time is also good.

All the massages accepted credit cards (frequent flyer points!), but some tack on a surcharge for using it. All of the massages had mamasans or papasans that spoke some English. There is a Group, called the Davis Group, or something that owns dozens of massage parlors near Rachada - Emmanuelle, Caesars, Julia, Honolulu, etc. I visited Julia, Catherine, and Honolulu, but these were all out of the way and hard to find without knowing Thai. These massages seemed to cater more to local Thais then foreigners.

It's a wonder how I can find these places without speaking more than a dozen words of Thai. I do it by remembering certain landmarks that I use to get around town to the various beloved massage parlors. This may or may not work for all, but it has helped me get to where I need. I hope other Hombres will have other or better ideas.

Generally, Hotels and shopping centers are convenient landmarks because most cabbies know them. In fact, some cabbies will give you a blank look if you say "Cleopatra" or "Chao Phaya II?.

So here are the landmarks that I use and my quick rating of the massages.

I have denoted massages that give kickbacks with an "*".

PRINCE HOTEL [LANDMARK]

*CUPIDY MASSAGE (through the back alley of Prince)

Facility/Rooms: 7 out of 10

Girls: 7 out of 10

Comment: Fairly good selection of girls, especially at night. They close very late at night, I think about 2 am. Many of the Tuk Tuks will try to take you here as I hear they pay out hefty commissions. Cupidity has large facilities, good soapies, and always has two or three superstar hotties. I don't like this place because the Papasan there can be an asshole and they quote higher than normal fees 2500-3000. They have no desire to negotiate and are big time commission payers to the taxis.

*ATAMI (West, onto New Petchaburi Rd, Pass gas station, 7-11, and on left)

Facility/Rooms: 5 out of 10

Girls: 8

Comment: Facility wise, this place is not very nice, but the girls are
generally pretty, and some, young looking as well if you're into that. The pricing structure here is erratic and unpredictable, I had a bad experience the last time when one of the mamasans quoted me 3000 baht and wouldn't budge. The other mamasan, named Ada, is a bit more down to earth. If you use your credit card, they will charge a surcharge on there.

SIAM HOTEL [LANDMARK]

*MONA LISA is very close by, 100 yards East

Facility/Rooms: 6 out of 10
Girls: 7

Comment: as some posters noted, ML has seen better days. It is a huge complex, but kind of old and in need of renovation. A fair selection of girls, not many hotties, even among the few superstars. Mona Lisa is worth a look, but not a favorite place.


FORTUNE HOTEL (RACHADA-LANDMARK)

CLEOPATRA MASSAGE is about ½ mile West of Fortune Hotel (Thais pronounce it "CLO PATA")

Facility/Rooms: 9 out of 10 (one of the nicest, classiest massage/entertainment
plaza, with bar, restaurant, lounge, etc.)

Girls: 9

Comment: One of my favorites. An awesome, classy place that is elegantly furnished and attentive staff. Always a good selection of both superstars and regulars. Two levels of superstars -- one group is in a lounge next to the fishbowl and the other is in
another room, 3d floor. You have to ask to be taken to the 3rd floor lounge. The girls on the 3rd floor sit around connecting lounge chairs and are more expensive. There were about six each time I was there and they were pretty.

CHAMPS ELLYSSE is across the street (Southwest) from the Fortune Hotel

Facility/Rooms: 8 out of 10 (reminded me of the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas, it feels
like you're in a cobble stone village in France somewhere, nice bands, great
rooms)

Girls: 7

Comment: The distinguishing thing about this place is the "French Villa" thing and the absence of a fishbowl. The girls sit in chairs in one side of the building. A fair selection, most of the gals claimed to be superstars and they each had different inflated prices for no discernable reason. Very expensive, 3500-5000 range. But I couldn't tell why the 5000 girl was more expensive than the 3500 girl. The high prices turned me off to this place.

GRAND HOTEL RACHADA (LANDMARK)

POSEIDEN is across the Street from Grand Hotel (very busy street, but you can see
POSEIDEN from here and you can direct the taxi to it. It's a large red building)

Facility/Rooms: 9 out of 10 (HUGE, classy building with about 10 floors, restaurant, lounge, ).

Girls: 9

Comment: excellent selection, some very fine women in the bowl and
some breathtaking superstars. There are supposedly Thai "models" and Thai Playboy playmates on the 3rd floor, which open after 4pm. These models charge an arm and a leg and the one I took had a big time attitude.

NATAREE about ½ mile South of Fortune Hotel (opposite side)

Facility: 8 of 10

Girls: 8 of 10

Comment: A huge entertainment complex. Rooms are kind of small. A good quantity of girls, just don't go with the first group that you see as you enter because the girls in the back are better looking.

HIGH CLASS about ½ mile South of Fortune Hotel (opposite side)

Facility: 7 of 10

Girls: 7 of 10

Comment: as you go up the stairs, you come to a smaller massage place. The fishbowl is nice with lots of girls. Not as pretty here as the other Rachada Massage parlors, but a couple of good looking superstars, who are seated off to the side, by the stairwell.

EMMANUELLE about ½ mile South of Fortune Hotel (opposite side)

Facility: 8 of 10

Girls: 8 of 10

Comment: As you go up the stairs, you can tell this is a classy place as well. The superstars are off in a different room. There were 5 or six when I went and all very "doable". The regular fishbowl had a few good looking girls, mostly chaff.

CAESARS

Facility: 7 of 10

Girls: 6 of 10

Comment: I wasn't impressed with this place. The regulars and 2 superstars were below par. Nice building though, with restaurant and all, but nothing to write home to mom about.

FLORIDA HOTEL [LANDMARK]

Chao Phaya 2 (Best Way to get to CPII is to take the skytrain from NANA to
Phaya Thai, exit towards the Southwest and you'll see Florida Hotel. Walk about
15 minutes West and cross the street.

Facility: 8 of 10 (just huge)

Girls: 8 of 10 (quantity is unbelievable)

Comment: Another favorite of mine. The famous Thip was not there each time I went. This place has an unbelievable amount of girls, over a hundred easily. Some good looking girls, in all shapes and sizes. I picked up the girl "LEOPARD" (shown in the gallery) here.

*JAYONE is diagonally across the street from CPII (same directions as above).

Facility/Rooms: 8 out of 10

Girls: 9

Comment: A good selection, some good looking ones among the regulars and the few superstars. Three of the superstars were just gorgeous. The photo of Red 39 is from Jayone. She was a newly arrived girl from Chang Rai.


SOME FINAL THOUGHTS

So why go through all the troubles to get to a massage place you might be wondering?

First, let me tell you that the girls working the BKK massages, especially the "superstars" are some of the most breathtaking women anywhere! I'll have some nice photos for you very soon. Ironically, in my last 2 trips, some of the
best looking gals were in the New Petchaburi Massage parlors such as JayOne (formerly CPI) and Atami. The Rachada area which consistently produces the lookers is Poseiden and Cleopatra. But the Rachada area is a pain to get to, especially with the traffic being so bad sometimes. In fact, in my last trip, all the cabs were not picking up passengers when I finished around 6 p.m., so I took the moto-taxi to NANA.

The second reason is that you get more "bang for the buck" at the massages. Whereas go-gos are strictly wham-bam-thank you maam; massages are routinely leisurely 2 hour affairs with a gal that will scrub you and rub you like you've
never been scrubbed and rubbed before. They'll take their time. And they always finish it off with a very good fuck session. On top of that, some of the facilities are very high class and elegant.

Third, of the scores of massage experiences, I've only had one so-so experience, most of the gals have been attractive, friendly, and great in bed. They tend to do a good job of weeding out the attitudes.

Finally, sex can be summed up as being generally good since all these girls apparently get "trained" -- guess what job I want to have when I grow up ? A lot of the girls are attractive, pretty and have good bodies (the "ugos" probably
don't last too long?). I got lucky one time b/c one superstar from JAYONE was literally working there for 3 days. The best thing is that you won't get any sleezy, skanky girls at these places (they all are required to get tested), even
the non-superstars are fairly good looking. But the best part is that without exception, they have all provided the tightest, nicest smelling pussies I've come across.

I have had some excellent sessions with massage girls but many of the hot ones operate at an extremely high volume and become jaded and robotic. I really cannot comprehend the wam/bam TYM approach with go go girls as many of them want to stay with you all night for a little more than the short time rate. The girls at massage parlors have more of the Sino/Thai look (light skin, slanted eyes) which is not my cup of tea. I want some skin color and like round eyes...this is where you find go go girls. Massage girls are also normally much more expensive. You will never find a go go girl that will request a covered BJ but massage girls request it frequently...as stated by other mongers. I suggest that people use massage parlors as a day time warmup thing...the exception to all of this is Thip from CP2

Thanks for the updates Merlin. I always like seeing new information on the MP situation. One of my biggest frustrations with them (besides the whole taxi commission scam bullshit) is that their prices seem to continue to skyrocket.

My philosophy is that very few things in Thailand should cost as much as the US, but some of the parlors are starting to get close to what an MP in California will charge. On my last trip, the only MP I visited was CPII, for my three sessions with Tip.

Gotta agree with Blazers on the go-go thing. I am frequently able to turn outings with them into "dates", and many would stay all night if I wanted them to (I rarely do that). Sure, some want to wham, bam and scoot, but I've found that some MP girls are the same.

Nonetheless, great info!

Thanks Merlin for your nice post, which is quite accurate. I think the MPs provides a more purely sexual experience in terms of phyisical contact, all that bathing and scrubbling and stuff lol.

I agree w/blazers totally except that skin and eye thingy. It's good to see a lot of folks like the milk chocolate skin and rounder eyes cuz that just means more light skinned girls for me lol(I like some dark girls too).

I actually feel MP girls are more wham bam TYM. Other girls usually want to hang around more.

BTW, I should be there in 10 friggin days! Woohoo

I have sometimes wondered whether there is a basic difference in the personalities of the MP and go-go girls that relate to their different conditions of work. I find more hustler types at the go-go's which I tend to attribute to the fact that they have to be more aggressive to get customers (or, at least to negotiate favorable prices). The MP girls do not have to hustle their customers, and the prices are set by someone else (other than the tip at the end of the session) so they don't have to become aggressive negotiators.
Having said this, I have had some excellent experiences (as well as some less than excellent experiences) with both go-go girls and those at MPs, although I prefer the MPs. But I have wondered whether different types of girls are attracted to the two venues, and whether the two affect the girls personalities differently.

Blazers: I'm a believer that one can adore both Sino-Thai types and their darker, rounder eyed cousins. I love them both, although my leanings are towards the Sino-types. But the thing is that there are plenty of gals with the features you like, I took some photos from my last trip. As for the WBTM stuff, this is just what I'm beginning to notice, at some of the popular go-gos like Superbaby, SuperGirl, Happy. In fact, I think I read it on Stickman's site that some of these go-gos, push the girls to go ST so that the girls can generate more barfines before closing.

Murasaki, you're right, the prices do creep up there, but I still think its a bargain for about $50-$70 for everything (compared to $140-160 in Los Angeles). I personally wouldn't pay more than that. Plus, the massage girls in the USA really cannot compare to the looks of the gals in BKK, especially if you factor in the fact that the BKK gals will spend 2 hrs with you.

DJ: I wish I was going with you! Having terrible withdrawal pains here. I guess you and I will have all the light skinned girls to ourselves!

LA Guy: very insightful observation about the two types of girls. You're right, because of the sheer volume of them, the go-go girls really need to work at it to land a monger for a night, especially if the girl is average looking. I also noticed that a lot of the go-go girls are from varios areas of Issan, which is culturally and linguistically different from other parts of Thailand. The Thai gal that I'm close to says that many Thai's don't have an affinity (politically correct) for the Issan people. Many of the massage girls are recruited from the Northwest regions (Chang Rai and Chang Mai), obviously because Thai and Asian men in general have a definite bias towards the light skinned types.

Hey Merlin,

I just noticed your new report. Thank you very much because I intend to see the MPs on my next trip to BKK, which is now in 17 days!

I think you have a good overall format with the idiot's guide. Es perfecto para mi! The landmark idea is excellent. Navigation is the most important factor when travelling from point A to point B.

I'm am glad you think CP2 is good because that is the one that seems easiest to get to besides the ones near Nana. I am sure I'll try that one because of: location, location, location.

If is good to see one of these places near the skytrain!

poster...

about hoe much in US dollars does it cost at the mp and for the go-gos, on average?

Figure on average, including bar fine, about $41 to $53 short time for go gos, $53 to $66 for long time.

MP's you can range anywhere from $51 to $153 for two hours depending on the MP.

Sorry everyone, CP2? What & where is that? I'm going in 14 days. I can't wait, this forum is the best around.

Dear Count

It's full name is ChaoPraya 2 . Look in discus section under BKK massage parlors for info. It used to be one of the best soapies in BKK - not sure now. Most of them I hear have slid downhill.

Then again been 2 years since my last sojourn into LOS . Amazingly enough.

The rip of tuktuk drivers over charging the tourist killed the soapy`s

One of the things I like about CP2 is they don't surcharge farangs and also don't as far as I know pay taxi commissions, which ultimately is paid for by the customer. So, you get a fair price which is more than can be said of many soapies.

Other soapies I like that are basically the same deal are Bangkok Cozy, Meree, and Evita/Avita, which are all relatively close to one another, Meree and Evita being across the street from each other, and Bangkok Cozy perhaps a ten-minute walk from the other two. While there are other Bangkok soapies where the girls are on average better looking, the prices will be substantially higher, and the service most likely not as good.