Although three weeks in Rio over the holidays enlightened me to the awe of a pure monger vacation (Club Hombre, “Seaman Finds His Inner Monger in Rio”), as of last week I still considered myself a rookie. Evidence? No language skills, no ability to discern b/w the scammers and great sessions, and foolish aspirations to “see the rest of Brazil.”

Early February, Kickstand and I are planning our Montreal trip (Club Hombre: “Ca Vient…”) and he mentions he’s going to Rio in March for a LONG WEEKEND. From a distance, I’m a little jealous but can’t help but think “those guys” have let their hobbying get totally out of control. Not for me. Sorry. I’ve got a life.

Well, it’s funny how bad ideas, like a fungus, sort of just grow on you in the fertile landscape of our libidos; particularly when you spend any time with Kickstand, Godfather, and UWPhoto. These guys are to mongering what photosynthesis is for plants. Bad ideas grow faster with them than mold in a dorm room frig.

Here’s the undeniable catch – a long weekend is actually quite easy if you don’t mind overnight travel and you’re reasonably close to Miami or Dallas. You can leave work at a normal time and catch the 11:20 PM Miami-Rio flight and arrive Rio the next morning for a full day of hobbying. The return flight is 10:55pm so you can do solid terma time and still be at work the next morning. Hmmm.

Well, by the time we get to Montreal, Kickstand has compelled ME, the rookie, to man-up and go to Rio. Thanks to an AA fare sale and 50K miles, I get a business class ticket to Rio for $600. So I plan a Wednesday nite-Sunday nite trip to give me 4 days and 3 nites. Enough for some “fun” and maybe a trip to Maracana (yea, right).

I’m quite impressed by myself. But, just when I’m thinking I’m a man, Godfather brings me back to earth. Even though he’s got a Brasileira visiting in a few weeks, he one-ups me and plans a 3 day visit. Godfather will likely cover it in his report, but suffice it to say he’s more like God than your Father when it comes to getting laid. UW also joins in which is easy if you consider he's already in BA but amazing when you consider he's ALWAYS in BA.

This time, I packed a decidedly pro-monger bag. No guidebook (other than U-dub’s outstanding worksheet), no beach clothes, no Ex-Officio “look like and American tourist” wear. Just a 36 pack of trogan large, a few bottles of lube, and some gifts for the girls. I’m getting’ the hang of this.

DAY 1 (THURSDAY): TWINS, SISTERS AND FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN (and AGAIN)

My business travels took me from frigid Green Bay for business travel on my day of departure, so this was a three leg trip. It was quite cold in the Northwoods that day.


After GRB-ORD-MIA-GIG, I arrived astoundingly on time at 9:40am. First thru customs, fist through /immigration, no traffic, into the debret by 10:45. After smooth check-in, I do my quick standard Rio morning routine:

- Haircut and shave at the barber next to Debret (old guy in 2nd chair)
- Check email at Rei do Mate @ Alrmirante Goncalves & NS Copacabana;
- Egg sandwich breakfast on NS Copacabana; and
- Drogaria run for stillnox (no Vitamin V on this trip).

On days when Rio works like this, its even more tempting for a quick trip. I’m also feeling quite the pro as I eschew the airport taxi rip-off, shun over-priced Atlantica for breakfast, and even chat with my “usual” shave guy. Rookie no more, I’m thinking.

My brush with greatness begins at Alcazar, where I meet Kickstand at 12:30. Sitting with him, in human form, is the famous Bwana Dik. I recall my pre-Rio reading this Rio icon’s guide and thinking, “one day…” I feel like he should be boarding a ship and tossing me a bottle of old spice.

Kickstand and I debate the merits of 4x4 and 65, an inevitably circular debate (like chicken or egg) that has only one solution of course…both. I express my intentions on the famous Rebecca at 4x4, but alas, King Bwana says she’s not working.

ROUND 1 – A GREAT START
Kickstand, Sweet Mesquite and I start at 4x4 after the 2pm opening. There are about 25 girls and maybe other 3 guys... perfect, who cares about Rebecca. As I do the obligatory lap, I think, have mine eyes deceived me? Either Rebecca has a twin sister or Bwana is – get this - wrong. Unlikely, but will I, the rookie, scoop the king?

Alas, Bwana’s mistake is my benefit: it is the famous Rebecca and she’s as sweet as ever. We do an hour in a suito and I have the distinction of being the first customer at 4x4 to man up that day. Physically, Rebecca is the perfect girl for me: petite, thin, big rack, and athletic. She’s also really sweet and classy. Like 20,000 French at the bottom of the sea, a great start (to the trip).

The only downside is that EVERYONE knows her. I don’t mind sloppy seconds (or hundreds), but I do love discovering something. Other than that, I could fall for this girl.

ROUND 2 – ON A ROLL NOW
When I finish, Kickstand has left for 65 and I troll with S-M for a while. After interviewing some intriguing prospects, we stroll over to 65 for a spin (or spinner, as fate will have it). Kickstand is just leaving with after a session with his favorite, Shayla, but we convince him to stay. Another monumental arm-twisting.

After about 10 minutes upstairs, this cute little morena spinner starts on me. We do the terma chit chat and I can’t wait to say “meu segundo vez em Rio.” She’s not doing too much for me but she introduces me to her “sister,” Raquel, and they immediately start upselling to a dupla. Something in Raquel is workin’ for me. I consult with Senor Kickstand and he advises, wisely, to just go solo with Raquel. Against my better now veteran judgment, I agree to the dupla. What an idiot, I’m thinking in the elevator.

Well, the dupla wasn’t a full on finger-lickin 3some, but Raquel is awesome and her sister shuts up long enough to give me a great bbbj and some cowboy while Raquel and I DFK. Raquel whispers something in my ear that sounds roughly like “my turn” so I oblige with some mish and quatro to completion.

The sister takes a shower and this gives Raquel and me some one on one time for post-coital DFK. Her sister sneaks back and resumes an awesome BBBJ. Raquel’s getting a little jealous as I offer a few “gostoso’s” (all the Portuguese I know I learned in a terma!). So, with her sister blowing me, Raquel starts whispering her phone number in my ear! I was just about memorize it when her sister gets a facial! Oops! Desculpe!

Turns out, as I find later, these two are quite competitive. Adam Smith coulda written his theory on pursuit of self interest in a terma (although our hands were anything but “invisible” in this session). On the way out, Raquel is hugging me and begging me to come back and/or call her. I’m sensing a connection to this girl unlike any from my first trip.

ROUND 3 – THANKS, KICKSTAND
After the session, we head home (L’uomo). I’m ranting to Kickstand and Sweet Mesquite about how great my time with Raquel was. They’re laughing and Kickstand even compares me to Godfather, who seems to have some personal soap opera love affair with every girl he meets in Rio.

After 3 pops, 2 days with no sleep, and falling in love at 65, I’m spent. I have a few caipri-vodkas and watch the girls giggle at the “stand” in Kickstand…always a reliable terma laugh. He does a session and finds me half asleep on the couch. The pickins are a little slim and I tell him I’m gonna “just chill”. He will have none of this and promptly drags over this girl I’d never met but had eyed earlier in the night.

Turns out Thaina is a terrific – perhaps the nicest therma girl I’ve ever met. A great body, sweet face, great attitude and quite active in the cabina. But, after my long day, no “orgasmo para mim” (see…more terma portuguese!). She offers the textbook terma response…utter and total outrage. I explain I’ve been a safado today and have no orgasmo for her. She sets expectations quite high for round 2. We hang at the bar for an hour or two – and I’m again sensing a nice connection here.

We all retire for a midnight dinner at Alcazar. Of the guys there, I seem to be the most satisfied customer and I’m talking the corresponding shit like an old veteran (sorry, guys). 3 great sessions. U-dub makes an unexpected early arrival and I’m ranting on and on. I’m certain my bubble will burst the next day.

DAY TWO (FRIDAY): GETTIN' A SWAGGER
Kickstand, God, and U-dub, Bwana and S-M and I have been planning a Saturday VIPs party for 2 weeks and today is the big planning day. I half-jokingly suggest to the guys, “why don’t we just STAY at VIPs for a few days?” VIPs is a love motel not really designed for more than a few hours. But, it’s a very nice place, the definition of girl friendly and only a little (actually a lot) out of the way in Sao Conrado.

If you’ve never partied with these guys, NEVER suggest anything without the intention of following though. One minute I’m suggesting it, the next minute, I’m checking out of Alcazar and moving to VIPs. I get a VIPs suite complete with pool and sex chair.

ROUND 1: THE RACK
Godfather arrives ready to party at 1:30 and Kickstand suggests we call Company Girl for Room Service for three. I choose Rayane who also goes by Waleska on the site. She’s young and got a rocket-body and a decent face. She takes a little while to warm up and the DFK isn’t very “D”, but after a swim we have a very solid session and I get an early pop for the day.

Photos: Rayane

01 02 03

Oh yeah, did I mention the perfect rack?

After session #1, we hang out and listen to music on my laptop. I show her pics of my hometown and other world travels (PG rated) and that sends her scrambling to show me pics of her vacation in Angra. She’s clearly trying to impress me that she’s a normal girl doing this on the side and its working. We do another round and this time its full on GFE. She leaves her phone number on the way out But, the way this trip is going, she’s only number 3 on the phone # depth chart.

Kickstand’s girl is a no show, so he was off to L’uomo. I’m excited to see Thaina again but nervous I can’t rebound that fast for an orgasmo for her. Regardless, Godfather and I make the long trek in Friday evening traffic up to L’uomo.

L’uomo is shitty this night…it’s packed with guys and the A/C was broken in the boite. This turns into a common theme the whole weekend. So, we bail and head off, at my urging, to 65 for me and Kickstand to see our favorites. Thaina sees me on my way out and tells me to stay out of other termas to prepare for muito makee love tomorrow. I tell her we’re going to dinner and she calls me Pinnochio. We all have a nice laugh. I’m really torn between a repeat with her and Raquel, but L’uomo’s really a drag so we head downtown.

ROUND 2: THE FACE
Its funny, but we’ve done Rio in reverse this day: a morning homegame and downtown at night. But, 65 is pretty good that night…nice selection and not too crowded at about 8:30. Even Godfather, one of the more finicky mongers you’ll meet, finds a girl to his liking. Raquel looks terrific and I notice she’s got that Rio look that I completely fall for: dark skin and light brown/green eyes. So exotic.

Raquel’s quite a bit excited to learn of my decision to decline on the dupla this time. But, true to Adam Smith, her sister’s cursing up a storm. I just shrug my shoulders and smile. But Raquel is sweet. We sneak away to a suite and this time, I whisper Raquel’s phone number in her ear. We set up a date on Sunday before I leave for my “6pm flight” (read: 5pm session at L’uomo).

Kickstand and Godfather have both had great sessions and we hang out and have beer. Shayla and Raquel come back down to visit. When we leave, though, they follow us into the locker room….and next thing you know, we’re snapping pictures with the giggling approval of the locker room girl. So much for cameras not allowed in the termas (and the sanctity of the locker room).

Photos: Shayla/Raquel

04 05

ROUND 3: THE BUNDA
If you know Godfather, he’s got a thing for supermodels. So, at his suggestion and against my better judgment, we head over to Barbarella. I’ve heard so many bad things about the place, I’m quite hesitant. On the way, we stop in a kilo restaurant (Copa something…I know its not much to go on) just down the street from Barbarella. I had the fish. I won’t repeat. You’ll see.

Everything that’s been said about Barbarella is true

1. It has the best collection of talent I’ve seen in Rio by a healthy margin. Many super-model quality girls.
2. Its expensive: 50 reias cover plus two drinks at 15 reais plus 50 reais bar fine
3. A lot of attitude. The first girl we chatted up opened with a $200US bid and didn’t budge.

As we’re having a nice chuckle, there’s a big commotion at the doorway. The cops are raiding the place for underage girls and asking them to line up for ID checks. The actual lineup is more like the throng of taxi drivers at the airport than a police lineup. The guys next to us just leave with their girls. Godfather and I leer at the one hottie female cop. 15 minutes later, everything is back to normal. Funny.

We see this one girl dancing who has the hottest body I’ve ever seen. A perfect ass that Kickstand and Godfather are convinced is fake. And a gorgeous and sweet face. I have to see for myself so I call her over. Patricia is a 20 yr old Miniera allegedly studying nutrition. She seems quite intelligent and very very classy for a program girl. She opens at $150US but we quickly settle on 300 reias + taxi and head to VIPs.

On the long cab ride home, I start feeling a bit sick - that fish isn’t digesting right – but Partricia is worth the risk. Indeed, just when we reach the top of the stairs, its over. I sprint to the banheiro and toss my fish dinner quite violently into the toilet. A little tip for you newbies: full-on wretching and farting is no way to begin a relationship with a working girl. I figure she’ll ask for her money at make a quick exit.

When I return from battle, Patricia’s one the phone babbling in Portuguese. I hear the word “taxi” and assume she’s calling for her exit. But no, she’s asking the front desk get a taxi to wander Leblon for a 24 hour Drogaria. Turns out, she is an aspiring nurse/nutritionist because she knows exactly what drugs to get. I’m so gracious I even brush my teeth for her.

She waits around to make sure I’m ok. I fade between being sick and pissed off – this is the best piece of ass I’ve seen in a while. She’s got about 5% body fat and is that perfect mix of very toned but not muscular or skinny. The view from the overhead mirror is spectacular as she lays in her underwear next to me. Despite my condition, I manage to get aroused, and she starts cracking up! Next thing we know, she’s blowing me and then we’re into a full on session only maybe 20 minutes removed from me being sick. No DFK (would you?) or BBBJ, but still a nice session all things considered. Between being a nurse and a program girl, she stays far past her allotted time.

Godfather also has a good, fairly priced and more classic GFE session with another hottie. So, Barbella gets a decent thumbs-up as a change of pace and a place to meet a super-model type if you’ve got the money.

DAY THREE (SATURDAY): PARTY TIME!
After a rough evening, I’m feeling amazingly spry the next day. We’re chatting and it seems I’m having some of the best experiences. Everything I touch seems to turn out gold. I’m amazed at how many great sessions I’ve had already and its only 2 days out of 4. And the VIPs party is today. Wow.

For you newbies, here is your essential VIPs shopping list:

- Millennium Suite + extra rooms for the sessions
- drinks (beer, champagne, wine, tequila always hits)
- bikinis (remember to save ‘em to recycle each round)
- chocolates (girls love ‘em)
- dance music (if you don’t know just get one of the Axe Bahia discs – I have 2002 and 2003 and they’re very popular. American hip hop also helps. check out this link for what’s popular: http://www.musikcity.mus.br/parada.html)

U-dub ordered three rounds of escorts for the six of us (me Godfather, Kickstand, Bwana and Sweet Mesquite).

Round 1: The first round brought five girls, none of whom were any good. We sent one very ugly one home and Bwana, U-dub and I jumped on the remaining grenades while Godfather, Kickstand and Mesquite declined. Math Lesson – 4 girls, 3 guys means u-dub does a dub. Alas, he returns unhappy as do I: I had one named Diana who was a shitty, but did let me facial after a BBBJ. At least we got a decent picture of them.

Photo: Butts

06

Round 2: By the time we got back, another 4 girls had showed up and 3 got their walking papers; Godfather got the only looker. I never even saw them, but for Kickstand and SM to turn another round down, they musta been grim.

Round 3: Proving the “power in numbers” theory, another 6 girls shows up. Kickstand and SM quickly pair up with the 1 and 2 seeds. Kickstand is very happy with his choice and for good reason.

Photo: Couch

07

In program-girl musical chairs, there’s once again an extra chair. I’m chatting up a cutie named Giselle (topics include: name, # times I’ve been to brazil, etc.). She realizes our predicament - perhaps she’s a math major - and asks me, “dupla?” Well, its been almost 36 hours since my last one, so what the hell. We invite Camille, another blonde with awesome green eyes (but a little ugly) to join us on the couch. They appear quite camera friendly.

Photo: Giselle/Camille

08

I’m sensing on the couch this might be a good call as the girls start kissing each other after I initiate some DFK. They’re also downing champagne like your senior prom date in the limo. Seizing the moment, I grab a bottle of wine and am the first one to retreat to my suite.

We go to the upstairs pool and start dancing together.

Photos: Giselle/Camille

09 10

I come join them and they slowly disrobe each other and me. We progress to the pool and they start a double headed BBBJ poolside. I close my eyes and try to sense who’s tongue is where, but its just one big perfect velvet blender. Slowly, though, they lose interest in my unit and start working each other. I take a timeout to get my camera. Good call.

Photos: Giselle/Camille

11 12 13 14 15

These girls are going at it in the pool and take it poolside. I suit up and doggie Giselle as she munches on Camille. Camille and I flip Giselle as I do her mish and Camille SOHF. Then Camille leans forward and works Giselle’s box while I’m fucking her. I’m a fucking porn star and can’t hold back.

Round 1 over, we all retreat downstairs. I go to the bathroom, and this time, Giselle is returning the favor to Camille.

Photo: Giselle/Camille

16

I join in again, this time with Camille with Giselle switching between my mouth and Camille’s tits. I’m in fucking heaven and am ready to blow again – for my 3rd load before 5pm that day…and there’s someone at the door. I ignore them but they persist. The girls are giggling as they know I’m on the edge. I’m spewing away when the VIPs guy barges in with the room bill. I quickly throw on a robe and pay the bill in the ante-room, hands still shaking from the effort. I course, when I return, the girls are going at it…again. I have to separate them as it is time to send them home.

Once again the guys want to go to L’uomo and I’m hesitant b/c I think I’m done with orgasmos for the day and Thaina’s expecting a big performance. I’m also feeling sick again from dinner. Luckily, by the time we get there its quite late and she’s with a guy already. I get a massage and bump into her in the hallway. She asks me if she should send this guy walking and I tell her I’m still a little sick from the night before. She insists I’m Pinnochio again but can live with it. We make a run to Franks and Barbarella’s but I decline any sessions.

DAY FOUR (SUNDAY): TYING UP LOOSE (REAR) ENDS
With U-dub gone back to BA and Bwana and Mesquite at the Debret, the three amigos had our own little VIPs pool party in my small suite. Shayla and Raquel from 65 came down as did Godfather’s escort girl from the day before. We had a nice lunch by the pool.

Photo: Pair

21

Things were so relaxed and nice I had to kick those guys out so I could have a fucking SESSION. Raquel really loved the waterfall and we started our session there.

Photos: Raquel

22 23 24

Photo: got Laid?

25

We finished things downstairs and I gave her these cheesehead earrings I bought in the Green Bay airport at the beginning of my trip. Here’s a photo for you Packer/Badger fans.

Photos: Raquel

26

Our girls all left together with perfect timing for us to be making the journey to L’uomo. Kickstand dropped me and GF there on his way to the airport and of course, we bumped into Mesquite and the usual suspects. The place was packed and hot (again) but Thaina was waiting for me (actually, for all I know she had just finished a session with Mike Tyson, but I wanna THINK she was waiting for me).

Thaina and I chatted for an hour or two. My Spanish and Portuguese was really improving and I was having a real conversation for the first time with a non-english speaker. Oh yea, and I finally gave her my (and her) orgasmo. Actually, two. Later she came by the bar and gave me her phone number. I went to put it in my robe pocket and she insisted I go straight to the locker room lest I lose it. She dragged my ass across the bar and forced me to my locker. Something about terma girls and locker rooms this trip.

Godfather and I headed to the airport and he commented again that I was “on a roll” this trip. Every session except VIPs party #1 was outstanding and I managed to bag some of the #1 seeds from our group – and phone numbers galore. All this in a 4 day weekend that I was convinced was a big risk. I’ve now got the swagger of a veteran Rio monger. And, oh yea, I’ll be back for another 4 day trip really soon.

I’m beaming the entire 200 hr flight home and the guy next to me on my Miami-Home connection starts chatting me up. When I tell him I was in Rio, he just snickers and says he’s “heard about that place.” I fire up my computer, show him my pics, and tell him about Hombre. I’m turning into “one of them”…and I like it. Dude, if you’re reading this as a new member, WELCOME.

Great report Seaman, great photos and it sounds like great sessions. Rio veteran???...yep, sounds like it to me!

Sandman

Nice stuff, very nice.

Oh man. That was QUITE a report. Our little "crew" had such high hopes for Seaman and he hasn't disappointed one bit. I knew in Montreal that I would be hobbying with him again and after Rio I know that I'll hobbying with him several times a year.

I know when a new guy meets up with some of us they probably think we are all nuts. We keep a pretty wicked pace and alot of newer guys can't seem to figure out how we do it.

Seaman was God this trip. He was walking on water and we had such a great trip. The great thing is everyone in our group is so open minded that we'll just go with the flow. I know several times Seaman didn't really want to go to L'Uomo but we did and everything worked out. We either left after a while or stayed and had fun.

This trip seemed like a longer trip even though it was only a few days. I'm looking forward to more adventures with my good friends.

Seaman won the "Sandman Award" for best photos at the Vips festa. It was a kick indeed; I'll tell my portion of the tale later.

Sandman - I attribute the inconsistency at our VIPs party to your noticeable absence. You were missed.

Mitch - Without you its hard to get any motivation for Centaurus or Pussycat. I'm still a rookie there, but hopefully will have U around next time to show me the ropes.

Godfather - We are all nuts, but at least we have 'em.

Seaman,

You guys are driving me nuts! I have to get back to Rio soon. Only three weeks more. I might have to bite the bullet like UW and just move down there.

BT

I love Centaurus, but I am spending way too much money there. I am literally spending twice as much on Centaurus tabs per month as I do on my office space. However, I like Centaurus more than my office, many times over. So maybe it's not so bad.

Mitchc,

I want to hit Centaurus sometime with you. No one ever seems to want to hit Centaurus. I don't mind paying a little bit more if the girls are hotter which sounds like might be the case at Centaurus. I'm going back in May and I DEFINITELY want to hit that place.

The great thing about traveling with guys you know and trust is you start to get a good feel of what they are attracted to and what their tastes are. By the 2nd day of our trip we were pointing out girls for one another that we knew the other would be attracted to and why. The funny thing is we all nailed it right on the head each and every time.

Seaman and I were even having the same "war wounds". Do any of you besides us have your that section under your tongue rip or tear from going down on too many girls? Seems like every trip this happens. My tongue is just recovering now. God I already miss South America. Today I started initially looking for jobs down in South America. If anyone knows of any jobs down in South America, please let me know. I am soooo there.

Man,
that Shayla/Raquel (especially Raquel) must have been to die for. Congrats on the great report. thanks.

"full on wretching and farting". HA!!!!

Always a pleasure.

And that female cop was ugly.

Kick Stand

Seaman,
Great report and pictures. You have definetely moved out of the rookie status and almost a vet. looks like your limited language skills didn't slow you any
I think that was cool staying at VIPS .. I was thinking how great that would be when I was there
but seemed to far from the action.
I will be in rio in 3 weeks.
I hope I am " on a roll" Too.

GF-Monte Carlo might have a job opening for someone to clean the cabines. Just kidding.

Raquel is hot. Is it me or is it mandatory for these garotas to have huge, round butts.

Blazers: Are you kidding? In Brasil, it IS mandatory that these girls have big round butts (and smaller tits too). Girls I have met that have small asses and big tits always joke that only american guys like them.