Sacrificially slaughtered. Twice in two days. The first sacrifice came at the loving hands of our little Bia from Luomo. Everything you’ve ever heard about her is true… and then some. In addition to being flawlessly beautiful, her finely honed and impressive array of skills remains unsurpassed in my limited experiences. The things that little girl can do with the muscles in her mouth, pussy and ass cannot be appropriately described with mere words. Since I cannot produce a flowchart, spreadsheet and overhead projector on this thread, you’ll simply have to take my word for it. Awesome.

The second sacrifice? You’re probably thinking I returned for another serving of Bia… would that it were so simple…

After leaving Luomo and Bia, I staggered home to get ready for my dinner date with Wifey. She and I hooked up with another couple and hit a private club in town. It was our first time to see each other on this trip, and I thought wifey was being a bit ‘out of sorts’.

The Logical Side of the Story Said Dump Her and Move On

To make a long story short, after dinner she told me about her new job schedule and how she had to get into work by 8 a.m. every morning, six days a week. Yuck. Oh, and the trip to Buzios this weekend would have to be cancelled as she had to work. I’m already thinking it might be time to move along, when she announces that she won’t be joining me at my apartment that night since she was tired and had to get up early for work the next morning. Bad form. Very bad. Not after all we’d shared together in previous trips.

The Emotional Side of the Story?

Because I really liked her as a person, and we’d shared some great times together, my heart overruled both of my heads and I didn’t walk away. What was that rule again? Never session with the same girl more than 3x ??? I’ve bent that rule a number of times without incurring any problems… until now. Somehow this little package had me hooked. The danger of getting hooked, however, is the pain one feels when the hook tears into your flesh.

The next day was more of the same. Sure I sessioned at a terma, but my mind wasn’t into it. I fly 7500 miles to be with the most beautiful girls in the world, only to find I lack the ability to focus. Mind you, it was no reflection on the quality of the garota – she was an awesome 3holer.

Well, against my better judgement, I agreed to get together with wifey that next night. Dinner was ok but again, she was distant. Returning to my apartment after dinner, the shit began to hit the fan. Turns out that she took a Brazilian boyfriend. That was really disappointing, I don’t mind telling you.

Why?

Well there’s the obvious fact that I’d lost two evenings and several bucks in the process, but that’s not what got to me.

Then there’s the sex. Losing that was gonna be tough, as we worked well together. Exceptionally well.

Nope, try as I may, I couldn’t convince myself that the ache I felt eminated from either my wallet or my loins. It was something more.

I really liked this girl and enjoyed spending time with her. And I always suspected that she didn’t really fit into the Terma environment.

Awwww fuck.

I realize I sound like some friggin newbie putz. Before any of you suggests that I had a ‘knight in shining armor’ complex going, let me assure you that is not the case. I harbored no thoughts of rescuing her. What’s more, our relationship had never centered around money. She’d been around to see me and declined taking any money enough times.

This really caught me off guard. And the damdest thing is, I didn’t see it coming. Think about it – how many of us would think that we’d get dumped over a local? That doesn’t happen everyday. I mean, this little spinner wouldn’t even play both of us at once because she has more class than that.

So how did this happen to me? I guess it just boils down to me breaking the $*#&@ ThreeTimes Rule, right?

Which begs the question, is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

To be continued…

"It's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the Human heart."
That is the nature of emotional connection and pain...one never sees it coming. Yes, it IS better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Sensation and experience is arguably one of the prime purposes for conscious existence. Dive deeply into your pain and savor its exquisite sweetness, and, while suffering, seek solace in the arms of the fabulous garotas who will gladly help you ease your pain. Few things seem more attractive to women than a man with a broken heart. One word of caution however, do not see your spinner again unless you wish to deepen the wound. Break it off NOW and enter the grieving and healing stage.

So happy to hear that you have joined the Bia fan club. I am glad to hear that my favorita is living up to her well earned reputation. I miss her terribly. Just goes to show that the 3x rule does not always apply. I've enjoyed Bia dozens of times without any emotional complications while I have to stay away from certain other girls completely because my heart can't handle it.

Enjoy your trip.

Artist gives good advice.

It will be hard not to think about Wifey, but don't whimp out and call her or see her.

If she does care for you, she will lose respect for you and have less desire to see you if you pursue her.

Get drunk, smoke cigars and fuck beautiful women, but know the luster has been taken off
this trip because of what happened. Nothing else you can do, but of course you eventually will
get over it.

Go back and fuck her best friend will also help.

It is ironic how we are punished for our sins.

Sounds like 'Wifey' was special. My empathies. This fits into a polarity that never ceases to amaze and frustrate me: That is, the perpetual battle between the need to sample many fruits, and the occasional want to be with that special 3-holer.
Ah well: A weekend toast to you in hopes that you have a swift recovery, and to Artist and Ben for their tonic advice.

PB

I'm not sure I agree totally with the "play you both at once" assesment, I've seen you and wifey together before, I have a feeling the local guy is the consolation prize to her. Why else would she be with you for two nights and then go back to your apartment with you, to deliver the news? My guess is she was looking for any sign of commitment or a ray of hope. Unfortunately all of this leads to the same conclusion. I agree with the walk away scenario, not only for your well being, but for hers, she obviously wants a "normal" life and all that implies. She is a truly nice person and there is no sense in hurting her just keep it going a while longer. Now I only hope I can follow my own advice if the need arises.

Dude, you have definitely been getting more than your share of curve balls lately.

Thats the beauty of it all my man..if they were all just hot fucks then the twist would not be there...its been said here a many of times that the wife is a good thing.. it makes the trip a little special...I have to agree...even for us cold hearted pay for play men..Athos is about the only one who doesnt ..but he is on a mission

one tip from a newbie like myself.plural...always have the backup ready to go...one wife aint good...remember a year ago when I was crying in my cereal over the widow??...lesson learned.

and no you cant have any of mine!!!

but PB...damn she was one of the sweetest spinners I have ever seen..

Artist
Damn if you ever take to penning reports of your trips, one can only imagine the eloquence with which you will scribe.
Yours are good words. In light of what has happened today, I will use that advice.

Bens Instructions:

1. Get drunk,
2. smoke cigars and
3. fuck beautiful women" and
4. Go back and fuck her best friend will also help.

Oddly enough, I managed to do #1, 2 & 3 today. It helped. #4 sounds like a wonderful idea. I may head over there right now. You should open a 900 line with advice like that. Retire early and live your dream as headmaster at Zona Norta High.

DonwhostearshavedilutedhisbeersGringo

Sman & Layne

You both know the dilemma I face. And that second post of yours Layne brought to a point what I had been feeling.

"but PB...damn she was one of the sweetest spinners I have ever seen.."

If that weren't the case, it would be much easier to walk away.

PB- Does wifey have any kids? If not she may want one or two. From what I have seen during my very short experience is that the girls all have kids very young and if they don't they may be looking to have one soon. That may be the reason for the local guy. Not many gringos (no pun intended) are going to go in without a cover on.

I agree with Ben's advice and would add at the end. "When completed. . .Repeat."

UPDATE
She called twice today.

The first time she only let the phone ring once and then hung up. I knew better than to call her back.

Several hours later I answered her call on the 4th ring. She sounded very subdued and quiet while saying she missed me and wanted to to see me. Against my better judgement, I agreed to meet her at a cafe tomorrow night.

Why do I have the feeling I shouldn't be doing this?

In earlier discussions, I told her that as a terma girl I understand what she does for a living. She was quick to always assure me that she did not have a boyfriend, and that her busy life of school and terma work left very little time for boyfriends. Besides, she assured me, most brazilian guys wouldn't tolerate her working there. That made sense to me. Combined with her not accepting any money it was a perfectly normal explanation.

When she decided to leave 'the business' and start a new life, complete with a boyfriend, she felt compelled to tell me as much. Honesty is a good thing. And if I am honest with myself, it is probably the better thing for her.

As for me, I have permitted this to diminish the first several days of my trip. Enough is enough. Time to move on.

Many thanks for good words, brothers.

PB

NYL12
Wifey has no kids, and has stated she does not want any for some time. In fact, her ass was aching last night from getting a shot at the doctors that day. Apparently they can give contraceptive shots now? Anybody else heard of this?
And I won't respond to the going in without a cover on except to note that she was very insistent that I not withdraw either...

PB

Many of us have had our hearts rippped out and stomped on at least once in Rio. I know I was completely surprised by how quickly I'd gotten in over my head and how strongly I reacted when things went awry. The Artist is right; these sorts of things don't lend themselves well to intellectual analysis. It's never even clear what the lessen to be drawn is. Don't let yourself get emotionally involved? I don't think so. The relationships where a mutual emotional attachment occurs are the best. Of course, determining whether the attachment is mutual can be a bit tricky; we sometimes see what we'd like to see rather than what is there.

I try to just go with the flow on these things. I never start out looking for that magical connection, but if something great seems to be happening I don't run away in fear. After the heart has been stomped a few times, the recovery time gets faster.

Sure, one of my GF's got those anti-baby shots all the time - from a pharmacist, not the doctor. Since she had one of the most marvelous bundas in Brazil, she reported that the guy would start stuttering as soon as she dropped her pants. I hope that's all he did!

Hehehe, she almost caused a shipwreck once... we went to Parati (Rio de Janeiro state, you guys ought to try it) and took a schooner trip. She insisted that she wanted to climb the mast (in her tanga bikini), and as she climbed every guy on the boat - including the helmsman! - followed her ass with their eyes. I still remember the goddamn captain of the schooner saying - "Olha a lua cheia de dia!" - Check out that full moon in broad daylight! Then he noticed that the helmasman was about to run us onto some rocks and jumped to the wheel to save the boat.... Damn I miss that girl!



BS

BS,
You're right about Parati. My favorite retreat in Brasil. Stunning beaches just south of town.

PB

So she called you back to say she missed you? God I love being right and saying I told you so, but I was right and told you so. So let me restate, she didn't spend two nights with you and go alone to your apartment with you, just to find the courage to dump you. Take it from a man who has been dumped countless times, that's not how it works. If she had real feelings and respect for the other guy, you get a phone call or a letter, at best.

Unless you are willing to be her full time guy, do both of you a favor and walk away.Obviously she is trying to see if there is any hope that you are available in this way. Since she thinks that you are not, she has little choice but to go for someone who IS available, ie the brazilian boyfriend. This boyfriend may or may not be real, but it does not matter, she is telling you what she wants and your answer should be honest. Waffling will do no one any good. If you truly care for her you at least owe her the truth.

hey PB

when bia ravished you in the terma, she probably already knew what was going on, don't you think?
maybe she was trying to help you in a way(?)
hope you are feeling better...

s.

A Mans Heart Doth Follow His Dick.The male genders
great secret!
Many,packed tightly in small secretive cabals,whisper among themselves of the great fall of a once impenatrable heart and drive.a sexual warrior unlike no(any)other.Driven to his knees on the soft soulful
grains of Copacabana beach by a bronzed goddess, pointing sternly down,demading of her broken ex-
paramor to bleed his life blood into the sand.Giving
those grains a more reddish hue.Ohhh Life!
on the other hand,as Epictitus said"For a man to truly grow he must be wiiling to appear foolish
to all around him".

TN

TN

I had no idea you were the ClubHombre poet laureate. It's true that real growth is painful, at least it always has been for me. I think though that you only appear foolish to those who haven't already walked the same path, they are usually waiting ahead rooting you on. This love thing though is tricky and it never seems to get any easier.

On the other hand,we could all go and get laid!
I must try to stop spelling beyond my educational
level.Especially at 3 AM!

TN

PB,

I had a Mexican girlfriend here in So Cal that you used to go to TJ every month or so and get the contraceptive shots. I think it was called Depopravera.

Sterling

I hope this boyfriend is less than three weeks old, because when I gave her your present and setup the dates for your Buzios weekend, we came to a very clear understanding that you two were going to Buzios together on very specific dates. I really cannot see her just lying to me about that. The boyfriend must be new. The Buzios idea was lame anyway. You have plenty of time left. You need to hit Centaurus tonight and do the sisters. Tell them that I miss them and also tell them to lick each other like they did when they were with Mitchee.

PB you lucky bastard.

She definitely loves you or least really cares about you or there would have been no phone calls.

I said "don't call her" , but her calling you is perfect. The sex will be the best!

Don't worry about any commitments( I hate that word) on your part. She is the one that called. He or she who blinks first loses and she blinked. You win and even if it is just a one nighter you will have a chance to close things out on your terms.

This meeting will give you a chance to tell her you love her and you will remenber her always yada yada yada and believe me you will spend a very hot afternoon making love with this women.

Another C word I dislike "closure" will be had on your terms or maybe she will just forget about the other hombre until you leave.

Still very important for you to not act overly interested in her. You have to be a tuff guy. It will drive her crazy.

Damn PB..feel the love from your CH brothers huh...ok let me make it worse for you..she cried when you failed checkpoint SP in January...who luvs ya??!!

The Artist and Bwana
I am relishing the experience even though it overshadowed the first several days of this trip.
Interestingly enough, I knew this girl was 'different' from the moment I met her. The more I got to know her, the more I wondered why she was in the business. Seeing her emerge the way she has (see Days3&4) was very rewarding not only for her sake, but for me - I was right about her.
Who knows, maybe the opportunity for a similar relationship will develop on this trip before I return. The chance that it could makes each new session that much more intriguing.

Regards
PB

My emotional reaction to women does not seem to follow any logic.It's not even a function of the quality of the sex.I agree with Bwana...I don't go looking for an emotional connection, but I don't run away from one either. If it happens, then I am in for a different sort of experience...both richer and deeper AND more problematic. I have a good friend who is the very image of the incurable romantic...far more so than I, but he does have one quote that I really like. Carl likes to say that "Love is always a good idea." I tend to agree,eventhough I do not always find myself up to the challange. Love always raises the stakes...that much is for sure... and I always try to remember that I owe all my lovers courtesy and respect at the very least.This lifestyle we have chosen to follow puts us ouside the mainstream of traditional relationships, and, as Mr. Bob Dylan says, "If you're going to live ouside the law, you've got to be honest." Good words to live by.
Good luck with the rest of the trip.

Artist
Today, the shoe was on the other foot, and kicking wifey in the ass. Sandman, the king of hobbyists and a mentor extraordinnaire has assured me that I have emerged from this unscathed and ready to face the new challenges of tomorrow.
Hope to have a post up soon with details, if Sandman will let me slow down long enough to write it.
PoohBear

There will be plenty of time for posting when you have to stop for breath. Go out there and make us proud (or jealous,as the case may be).Just remember, pussy is like money...it can't guarentee happiness, but it can certainly provide a substantial release from misery. Hit it hard...you can sleep when you get home.

PB:

You know, in all my running around, I didn't read your actual Day 2 Wifey report untill now. TUff break, man, but I see from later reports you go over it. ;-) As a general rule, ANYTIME a Termas girl "in the prime of her career" quits and gets a "regular job," you can bet good money that it's a boyfriend and/or husband. And all romantic moments aside, unless she take you home to meet her folks, she's not serious.

On the other hand, I'm gald your great romance didn't keep you from fucking BF on day #1!

BS

BS
You're a good guy to ask this question to.

Wifey's mom lives way in the interior of brazil in a run down old house. Wifey's sister lives in Copa. I have had several invitations in the past to meet sister & family, which I managed to avoid as graciously as possible.

Wifey told me yesterday as I left town that she had ditched the boyfriend because she didn't love him, and that I should move in with her.

What do you make of all that?

Donwhocanhardlywaitforadvicefromabadseedhahaha

RUN!!!!!!

Hehehehe, there's my off-the-cuff advice. But if you're serious, tell her to come visit you in Mimai, or - if there are visa issues - Cancun or something. If she can show ownership of a legit business, then a visa should be easier to get. Then see how she interacts with you when she's on YOUR turf, rather than visey-versa. Does she smoke cigars? If she doesn't like sticks no reason to keep her.

Now if you're asking me what I make of her invitations to meet her folks, invitation to move in, etc., who knows? She's probably sincere, at least a part of her is (the one that's not thinking about all the consequences and implications). I hope by now you have a good enough "early warning system" to detect a scammer, so I'll assume she's not scamming you. Still, get her out of her environment, off her "turf" (Buzios is still carioca turf) and see how she reacts to you. Heheheh, take her to Ireland!

In other news, my brother is treating me to a Fuente Opus X Gigante on Saturday. Ever have one? Hope they're good...

BS

(Message edited by badseed on May 01, 2003)

FIRST and foremost - The Fuente Opus X is a fine cigar, worthy of the accolades. I shared one with a friend who was getting married this past week in Rio. Fortunately this person was knowledgeable enough to appreciate the finer points of this delectable turd. I admit to standing downwind of him most of the time. It was a second-hand olfactory orgasm.

You're in for a real treat on Saturday. Can you write up a full report on the cigar thread?

Now with that out of the way, let's talk about women. In retrospect, I think my little spinner's head was spinning. Quit the terma, open a business, work harder than she ever has before and make less money. That's a tall order! Throw in some good-time gringo dropping in at such an inopportune moment and she didn't know how to play things.

In the process I lost a couple of days because she acting so unexpectedly differently than last trip.

It went like this:

Her:Break up
Me: OK, but I hope your Brazilian boyfriend is good to you, because you deserve the best. (Hello!)

Her:Move in with me
Me: It's not a good time for either of us right now. Let's see how things go in the future, ok?

Her:Why did you have to bang my best friend?
Me: ....ah....(can any of you bastards help me out here and fill in the blanks? A free R&J Churchill Tubos Cuban cigar to the best entry!)

Her:Are you sure you don't want to move in with me? I just dumped the local boyfriend.
Me: ($&#^$*%!!!!!)

It's a good thing I think this girl is good people or I would have to get really pissed at her 'bout now

I will repeat myself here once again; You are either incredibly stupid; incredibly brave; or incredibly lucky;

Banged her best friend twice (once in the Terma and once in the privacy of (well....sort of...he he)your apartment. You have the balls of an elephant PB, the luck of the Irish and the innocence of Opie Taylor. She could have kicked you in the balls but gave you a hug instead.

Now, as far as her best friend goes...are you willing to share your quote with the board? "the .... ... .... ..."

You are Safado my friend. You sieze the opportunity at hand and go for it.

Do not consider this an entry for the cigar and I may back it up with a prize of my own for the best answer. How about a personal, never before seen photo of Adriana.....?


Sandman


Sandman

Ben? Free cigars and fresh women? hmmmm.... I'm surprised Ben hasn't been heard from...

:P

Mushy answer: I banged her because it was the closest thing to being with you. Transei com ela para matar as saudades de ti...

Hombre answer: Comi porque comi. I fucked her 'cuz I fucked her. (sound's better in portuguese)

Safado answer: Sou safado, nao pude resistir. I am a bastard, I couldn' help myself.

My answer: Tira as calcinhas, que cuido de ti JA. Take your panties off, I'll take care of YOU now.

;-)

BS

ROFLMAO!!
All right lads. Badseed has set the bar here. (That bastard must REALLY want a free Cuban)

Anyone else?

Sandman
I have NOTHING to hide, except the fact that I forgot my quote. Let 'er rip.
PB

PB:

Anything for a Puro. Actually, "Saudades" is a good answer that covers everything... "saudades for you, suadades of us, saudades..." It's such a nice, ambigous word - longing, missing, homesickness, lovesickness. Hell you can even have "saudades" for an R&J Churchill (hint, hint)....

Abraco,

BS

The way I would answer the question about the friend is simple. I would tell the truth. I would simply say that I appreciate women in general and that I take great joy expressing that appreciation in lovemaking. However, I would also point out that that interest rarely lasts beyond the bedroom. Only a rare woman can hold my interest over time and win my friendship...a woman like ...herself, of course.
If she cannot accept you for being true to yourself that is something YOU must accept...with sadness, of course.

This reminds me of a Lyle Lovett song "If I were the man that she wanted, I would not be the man that I am."
Boy, does that quote come in handy.

"The best I've ever had"

PB quote on his session with ex wifeys best friend and re-confirmed after session #2. Lad had the biggest shit eating grin on his face I have ever seen!

There you have it; complete with PB's permission.

Well on his way to "sexual healing" would you guys agree? Bang the best friend and acknowledge same with ex-wifey face to face! Big balls on the man and incredibly lucky she didn't have a straight razor in hand...he he!

Sandman

PB,

Sorry I was south of the border yesterday shopping for a cheerleader uniform for my little teenager. I just read your latest post.

My past experience is that once you fuck their best friend, they love you more. I think that honesty is always the best policy in these cases only if it is to your advantage.

So you acknowledge the fact you did her best friend because you knew what was coming from her and you were trying a preemptive strike ala George Bush. You tell her it was really all her fault, as you were very sad and she had broken your heart. You then acknowledge that it really wasn't the same with her friend and in fact in your whole life no one has ever been as good as her.

You then suggest a make up session to clean the slate and that you forgive her for being so cruel..

Since she apparently really loves you, she will ignore all this bullshit and fuck your brains out.

I can testify to The Biggest Shit Eating Grin. The guy looked like he had the sweat skimmed off of him by a Zamboni after having the leite sucked out of him by a hose connected to a NASA wind tunnel.

I personally retrieved 2 Red Bulls and 2 Agua de Cocos for him from the bar at 4x4 to help him recover from The Best He Ever Had. He was weak in the knees.

After downing 2 Red Bulls, The Best He Ever Had came by and listened to him explain that it was because of her. She glanced at me and winked, and I got scared. I get scared pretty easily though.

Subsequently, I politely asked my buddy PB to tell me which room number he had been to with her, so I could AVOID IT LIKE THE PLAGUE as I was about to break the 3x rule for the first time of my tender youthful years.

So, when is the best answer contest being judged? I still think "take your damn panties off" is the best answer to all this "You fucked my best friend" whining, but your opinion may vary....

;-)

BS

Badseed
I'll give the cigar out this week. Perhaps the reason more hombres haven't responded is:

A) They don't like cigars?, or
B) They would never fuck the best friend and then show their face around the wife again?

Either way, there's been some good entries so far

For what it's worth, here's my response:

"You are very special to me. When you told me we were finished, I talked with Best Friend a lot. She helped me to understand what you are going through. When we had sex, it was only work for her and only a party for me.

There will never be another (wife's name) for me. I am returning to America early since we cannot be together."

This response drove her nuts.

As Sandman has repeatedly said, I am either "incredibly stupid; incredibly brave; or incredibly lucky".

Donlocogringo

PoohBear,

I saw first hand what you were going through and it was tough watching you in pain. I could tell you liked that girl alot. You gotta be careful with feelings with these girls in South America. I'm kind of going through an epiphany of my own with a relationship. Not quite sure how it will turn out but I'm having fun right now.

The odds are stacks against both us and the girl for a truly normal relationship but we can always try. Good luck amigos.

GF
You're right that I allowed myself to anguish over wifey for the first several days of my trip. Ready for this? Now that I replay the entire thing, I'm pretty sure she was just trying to rope me in and make me her man. (OK - those of you who saw that from the start will please stop laughing long enough to hear me acknowledge I know precious little about women). After the third trip, she was closing her legs and testing me to see what our relationship was all about.

You've been with your SAwife for a considerable period of time now. Aren't you afraid of 'the next level' yet?

PB

Hector
You broke the 3x rule? What were you thinking?
hahaha
Listen, be sure to report back how your private meeting with this honey goes today.
PB

Ben

"I think that honesty is always the best policy in these cases only if it is to your advantage."

Can I nominate this for the classic quote of the month contest?

PB,
You did the right thing.. its her fault you fucked the bf ..cause if she wasn't so damn confused you would not have had the chance !!!
But when you did it a second time ..that took balls .. I couldn't do it a second time and I tried but punked out.
Just tell her " yeah I fucked her.. But I make love to you" hahaha

Abandonado
Actually I banged the Best Friend 3x...
Twice in the terma and once in my apt.

Do you know what is interesting about BF?

1. She lives 2 hours by ferry/train/bus from Rio
2. She didn't know where Help disco was
3. It was her first time in Copacabana
4. Prior to working in a Rio terma, I think I understood that she and her family were homeless.

Pretty wild stuff. Very nice girl.

What I wouldn't do for a piece of BF right now...

PB

Hummmmmm, let's see, been home 4 days now.

Yep, just about right.


PB is climbing the walls and planning a Cuba trip. LOOK OUT BTG!

What an Hombre!

Ben wrote:
"My past experience is that once you fuck their best friend, they love you more. I think that honesty is always the best policy in these cases only if it is to your advantage. So you acknowledge the fact you did her best friend because you knew what was coming from her and you were trying a preemptive strike ala George Bush. You tell her it was really all her fault, as you were very sad and she had broken your heart. You then acknowledge that it really wasn't the same with her friend and in fact in your whole life no one has ever been as good as her. You then suggest a make up session to clean the slate and that you forgive her for being so cruel.. Since she apparently really loves you, she will ignore all this bullshit and fuck your brains out."

Yeah, it is exactly like Ben said, and kudos to PB for working it, working it. I especially liked the "premptive bush strike" part, or whatever that conservatie whack said. In the end she gives herself liberally. Get her to compete, thinking you did it in reaction to her. Yeah, she's testing you. Women do that shit all the time. And if she/they think you left Rio because of her, I can only imagine the harvest/carnage/visual media coming your way when you return.

Yeah, it is exactly like Ben said"

Yeah Dogster is right!!

Since PB takes over a month to just cash a fuckin check, one would think making a decision as big as who gets the cigar will be a fucking six month evaluation.

Damn

God bless Dick Chaney and fuck all you liberal sex maniacs

Ben Ben Ben

I PROMISE I will get around to depositing that check of yours so that you can balance your precious checking account. I've had far more important priorities during the past 30 days than staying home and making bank deposits. (Think offshore deposits)

And I know it is time to have a beer when Dogster and Ben are complementing each other on being right. What a ominous alliance that is. Would you two please get back at each others' throats so my worlds can be in balance again?

PB,

Uh, you did cash the check, but I never received the cigars (or at least I don't remember)?? I sent the check to you (overnight) on March 9 and it cleared April 10.

Speaking of Dogster, I am so weary of his postings regarding sports (he knows nothing and is an idiot according to one of my sources). Once and for all I have empirical proof that CAL is never going to be a football or basketball power like my almer motto.

Football graduation percent:

CAL 74%

Oklahoma University 24%

Basketball graduation percent:

CAL 90%

Oklahoma University 0.0%

Hah!!

That's probably better than UCONN. They'll publish their stats once they figure out how to count and/or use a calculator.

Ben, I'm surprised you used the phrase "six month evaluation." In your world, I believe the correct terminology would be "third trimester evaluation"

Never mind, I just found the cigars.

Do you want the box back?

Cigars and boxes.... Cigars and boxes... shouldn't this be in the "dream analysis" section????

Ben tell me you didn't go through 50 Cohibas in a month? Or were you using them like Dogsters hero (Slick Willie) for those complementary gynoexams outside the health clinic in TJ?

"When you can handle this robusto, senorita, come see Papi for an Esplendido"

There was a scathing article about about Oklahoma football and basketball program in the Sunday sports section of the San Diego Union. The only nice thing said about their football program was that they would probably be ranked number one in most pre-season polls.

Maybe Oklahoma should fire Bod Stoops and bring back Barry Switzer?

Switzer classic on a running back who fell down/slipped while untouched by an opponent. "Self Tacklelization"

Was it Barry Switzer who was the Colorado football coach before he moved to Oklahoma? (or was it some guy who went to Nebraska? I get those two places mixed up). When he left Colorado for the other place, he complained that CU would never have a decent football team "because their academic standards are too high". That cracked me up.

We should all give slick willie credit for his cigar usage elan. That is one of the things he did right.

I would guess that was Douglas Fairbanks Jr, opps Chuck Fairbanks who left Oklahoma and I believe went to the New England Pats and then I think Colorado. By far his most sucessful coaching was at Oklahoma.

Switzer was an asst. coach at Arkansas and came to Oklahoma as an asst coach along with Fairbanks. Switzer is actually a very very smart individual, but he sounds like a county bumpkin, just like our past President who grew up in poverty in Arkansas

Why did that crack you up? I think you are sounding quite bitchy today and I am going to kick your ass if you ever show your face at the AMPM on seventh street and Revolucion. I challenge you to a soft ice cream fight.

I hate your graphs.

Those cigars are so fucking strong even Superman would get sick from smoking them.

I have smoked about 10 including handing out a few to a couple of friends.

The only thing exciting about these Cubans is that I put them in my car and drive into Mexico and then sneak them back across into the U.S..

Cohibas are pretty strong buddy, like a moose after yoga class. Some people consider them an acquired taste.

If you want something easier on the palate, I suggest Romeo & Juliettas

I'd like to get a cuban to suck my cigar during tantric sex.

Ben: Vanilla or Chocolate???

Yo quiero chocolate!

And the winner is "BadSeed".
Send an inbox with your address and I'll get a R&J off in the mail to you Monday.
Donwhoisrunninglowoncubans

Thank you, thank you, <snif> please just give me a moment, I want to thank my mother, and my producer, director, agent, and the little girl who lives down the lane....and you all like me, you really like me! I'm speechless....

:P

BS

Fuck You PB...

Cohibas? Strong? Come on guys! Grow a pair! If you want strong smoke a few Monte #2's! You can practically feel the nut hair sprouting with every puff!

drewwhousedtobeacigaraddict