The Status of the Nogales Scene : 8/18/2001

Hola, Mongers. Went down to Nogie last night so I figured I'd do a report.

Went down on a Saturday night. My buzz was being seriously trodden-upon when I saw the hoards of UA kiddies running around down there (no offense...) I got THE LAST parking spot in the McDonald's lot. Well, turns out not to be so bad, after all. The crowds were apparently sticking to the non-strip-joints (didn't know they had those down there...) for some good ol' underage drinkin'. (God bless them kids.) Although I did enjoy watching the dudes arrive with their girlfriends and leaving ten minutes later. Hah!

Lipstick's -

Anyway, I decided to finally venture beyond the comfortable confines of Lipstick's. But I've been a few times already this summer. What can I say, the place still ROCKS! More chicas than you can shake a stick at (and believe me, my friends, I’ve tried. They don’t seem to mind). Many hot, many not-so-hot, and many in between. Still $7/$20 (lap/private). Music is still not TOO loud (relatively). Little/no hustle. You can't lose here. (Not even me...)

Placer's -

OH... MY... GOD... I didn't think it was possible to squeeze so many hotties into one place. Like a fuckin’ Mexican Playboy Mansion or some shit (without all the fancy decorations and shit. You get what I mean). I shit you not, hombres - out of about 20 girls, all but about 3 of them were in the 8-10 range. Kind of makes you feel sorry for the 7’s... Even the waitresses (some of whom do privados) rank up there with some of Nogales' finest. I about shit a brick when, 10 minutes after I'd already cum… they did a 2-for-1 special on privates. Sigh… Every chick in the place that wasn't already sucking or fucking got on the stage to be shuttled away to the awaiting cocks of some monger (EXCEPT MINE!!!). After every damn one of them had been purchased, they did the same with the waitresses!! Yup. They sold-out, too. (I honestly felt sorry for the last chica to be chosen, though. Kinda like being the last kid to be picked for the kick-ball team. I won’t divulge her name because some of you would be kinda pissed… HINT!! HINT!!) Price is still $9/$22. Way too loud, and what's the deal with the (low) lighting in there?? You can barely make out who's on stage... WTF? Best pussy in town and you can barely see it? When will they get a fucking clue down there?? Do I have to come down there and show you how to run a fucking business???

Chatted briefly with a couple very friendly locals. Tried to chat with an older monger, but he seemed to want to keep to himself. So I left his sorry, old ass be. “Baby” was there (very cute, but you gotta like A-cups). I recognized a few other names but I can't remember them now. Only scored once, with a waitress. I was trying to ask her the name of the chica on stage, but her English wasn’t so hot (yeah, whatever…) and she said, "Sure, I'll do a private with you". Aw, shucks... Real hottie named Laura (say it with me -- LAH-OOH-RAH). She started at $50 and went down to $40 without blinking an eye. Don't know what the dancers are going for these days, didn't get the chance to find out (but I’d prolly pay it). Anyways, Laura was very accommodating but not quite GFE material. Close enough. Fucked/sucked her for one session. Rented another to finish the job (extra VIP price only, no extra for chica). Would do her again? Yes, I just did, dammitt. PAY ATTENTION!!

I will sleep well tonight with fond images of that sweet, round ass bobbing up against my hips. (Just like I like it – not too hard, not too soft, not too big, not too small. J-u-u-u-u-s-t RIGHT!). And I don’t suppose those sweet, little B/C cup titties will give me any nightmares, either. (Once again, dear friends, not too big, not too… You get the picture. Kinda like velvety-smooth, white tangerines that are oh, so tender when they’re a little too ripe). Shit, I don’t even think that moist (really moist), gorgeous (and, mmmm, tasty..) little panocha of hers will give me any indigestion at all. (You gotta love it when a 9 on the Richter-scale chica gets really wet, even though you’re paying for the shit! Kinda makes you feel like a stud. Yeah, I know… Spare me – let me have my fantasies!)

BTW, RE: Laura:

looks - 9/10
body - 9/10
attitude - 7.5/10
performance - 8/10
overall - SPOOOOOOOOOGE!!

Lord Black -

Jeez, what a fucking dump! (And to think it was SUPPOSEDLY all-that a while back.) I didn't think it was possible to get a bad vibe in a Nogales strip club, but it happened, dear friends and colleagues. The place was only “1/3-full-at-1:00-AM-on-a-Saturday-night-with-hundreds-of-mongers-back-in-town-for-UA-fall-semester”. That should tell you something... Music breaking my God-damned eardrums (and you can't even GET AWAY from the omnipresent loudspeakers). All the chicas that weren't on stage or screwing sat in a little cluster and sulked (NOT an exaggeration). Smacking their gum and sulking. How much, baby?? Me so fucking horny by now… Whatever…

The 16-year-old looking 'ho at the bar actually IGNORED me completely when I tried to talk to her, ask her for a table dance, etc. (read: SPEND MONEY ON THE BITCH) I'm no Ricky-fucking-Martin, but I don't have two heads or bad breath or snot running down my face, either. The first three or four times I tried to communicate with her (in SPANISH, btw), I thought she just couldn't hear me. I’m not kidding – NOT ONE WORD out of her. I know the bitch ain’t DEAF! (Or maybe she is, working in that rat-hole). Once I had enough egg on my face, I told her, "Later, Guapa". (love that line… Try it sometime.) The look on her pretty, little under-aged face was, well… Like the commercial says, PRICELESS!! I nabbed the chica right next to her and shot a shrug and a smirk her way? WTF??? I have NEVER left a beer unfinished in a bar, but this time I couldn't get out of there fast enough. $9/$22. No, YOU have to pay THEM, really... Phhhht.

Rio's -

Aaaaahhh. This is what I came down here for. What a diamond in the rough. Strange place, but it got the job done. Relaxed, intimate setting. Nowhere near crowded. Maybe more chicas than hombres. (Like THEM odds...) Not the hottest chicas in town, but there are a couple top-tier hotties there, and all the ladies seemed friendly (but one). My bolotero (something like Michaelo) was a super nice guy. Music loud but not intolerable. Got what I came here for - one nasty lap dance after another. And they were nasty as you wanted them to be. Ladies weren't trying to beat the clock, either. (I still maintain that there is an unfair and un-spoken conspiracy regarding the conspicuous absence of Lynard Skynard’s “Free Bird” on the “juke-boxes” in these “establishments”. Think about it…)

My real agenda, truth be told, was trying to score an all-nighter with one of the ladies (which is rumored to be readily available there – shhhhhh…) Sure, I struck out a few times because they'd never seen me there before. But the third or fourth time was the charm. Not the looker in the crowd, but “Mr. Happy” only has one eye, and he ain’t usin’ it for seein’ shit, neither). More on that later.

This joint ain't as much of an eye-candy store as Placer's, but it has it's merits. The only down side to this joint (all things considered) is that it's upstairs and has NO AIR CONDITIONING. But you can get a real nasty lap dance if you can pry the chica's face away from the fan for five minutes... And besides, the ladies will take your shirt off for you, so you don't have to. (Nice touch, really). Don’t get me wrong, that really was the only down-side to the place.

Still $7/$20. Finally got to lay my eyes upon the legendary Monseratt. What the fuck kind of name is that, anyway? I love what some of these chica’s come up with. Just kidding, Monseratt fans… Looks EXACTLY like I pictured her. Read the Rio's section to begin forming your own mental snap-shot. No, wait – I’ll do it for you. 5’5”, long black hair and huge tits, yadda yadda yadda… (Oh, yeah… and some-fucking-tattoo-or-another…) Sound familiar?? But she’s supposed to be a real performer. She was enfermo (sick), however, so I didn't get to take her for a ride. DAMMITT!! (Even though I bet a few of you sick fuckers would do it, anyway). Try as I might, I can't remember the names of any of the other chicas. Sorry. Beer does that to me.

The Best Club of All…

I must be one hard-up motherfucker, because I had to wait almost an hour and a half out on the street –by myself- for my "date" to emerge from the club. What the fuck are they doing in there? I kept asking, "Is she in there?" "Is she coming?" "What's taking so long??" The ugly, pot-bellied waitress (and I hope you’re reading this, CUNT!) with the great chi-chi's and the lousy personality (or whatever the fuck she is) was LESS than helpful. Cunt... Everyone else was cool, though. Even the poor hombre who asked me for $1 for some cocaine said "thank you" when I politely turned him down. (Nogales is MOSTLY friendly folk). Jeez, that shit must grow on trees down there... It’s all over the fucking place. (And, if you’re asking, the answer is, “yes.” Crystal meth falls from the fucking sky when it rains down there, too). I saw a Ferrari down there a few trips back – at another dive hotel, of course. Wonder what paid for that hooptie? Hmmmmm? It sure as fucking hell wasn’t REAL ESTATE!! (Or tittie-bar management seminars.)

Finally, my plan-D chica and two of her friends emerged from the front door (all dancers, btw). The three of us walked over to Hotel Colonial for a room, pero no vacancia (at least -- I gathered from watching the rather poor attempt by the “reception” desk ‘ho to PRETEND not to find anything on the computer – no room at the Inn for whores and whore-mongers anyway. That’s okay. I’d really rather give the money to mi novia’s pimp/drug-dealer. Thanks, anyway, BEE-OTCH!!) So we ended up walking to the apartment building close-by where, it turns out, the three of them all live (not sure if they're roommates or not, but I wouldn’t mind being Mr. Roper in that “Three’s Company” episode…) For some reason, I had to give the money to one of her friends (makes sense when you think about it, though). I thought we were going to go to *her* apartment, but it turns out it was a rent-a-dive type of arrangement for when Hotel Colonial is full-up. A little odd, but it works for me. We even got Tecate delivered for a small fortune. Room Service! (You just gotta love this place, Nogales. Good ol' Mexican ingenuity). $30 seemed a little steep for this joint: not a rat-hole, but not the Hilton, either. But, hey, you get to see how the other half lives.

Well, I won't bore you all with the details of my sexual foibles that night. But, for $150 (2 hours), I got my money's worth. I'm not complaining.

Here's wishing you and your penis a very happy and successful mongering season!

Yours truly,

MrBill - XXX OOO

MrBill, great post. I enjoyed reading it and I agree with 95% of your assessments, whether they were spiced up a bit or not. Keep those reports coming.

Oh, and one more thing... What happens to bad little girls when they die? THEY GO TO WORK AT LORD BLACKS, THAT'S WHAT!! Maybe that's how they punish "bad girls" at Placer's - banish them to Lord Blacks. Serves them right! Hey, I know a waitress from Rio who's looking for a job...

Back off the soap-box now.

I was in Cherry's yesterday afternoon, what a change from what it was just a few weeks ago. There must have been about 20 knock out dead gorgeous girls (two in particular; one a tall blonde, very tall, slender and beautiful, another a shorter dark complected very full bodied beauty). The college group is starting to bee seen down here again and plenty of other clientel to boot. Had a good time altogether. I think it's gonna pick back up.

This is normal, When the UA students make their way back to school and head down to Nogales there is a new influx of girls. Unfortunatly the prices go up for a while too. The basic laws of supply and demand will prevail, as more girls appear, competitions increases and the price decreases.
You have to bargain however, the one thing a lot of students fail to do. That is why the initial asking price is always high, usually a few minutes of negotiation gets me a favorable (and a lot cheaper) rate.

Unlike us dedicated mongers, many of the students go down to nogie and drink, watch, partake of a few dances, and then leave. I am always amused to see the expressions on those young inexperienced faces when I inform them of whats availbale for a few dollars more. Some are generally stunned, having heard rumors but not actually not witnessing or partaking in the "extra" fun to be had. I always advises to "bargain,bargain, bargain" and not just hand over wads of cash with that "Oh boy, I'm gonna get some!!!" look on their face.

The more we educate about "Monger Economics 101" to these students, the more we avoid the price inflation that happen everytime at this time of the year.

OG

RE: Cherry's - Nogie is indeed a strange place. I was there about 8:00 PM on a Saturdy just a few weeks ago, and there was only like 5 chicas max in the whole joint. But this seems like a good place to try to score a hotel date (since they close at 9:00 PM) - I know many of them work at Lipstick's etc after their shift, but I imagine some don't.

Nogi Boy, ever score any hotel action 'round closing time at Cherry's? Inquiring and terribly horny minds want to know. In any case, thanks for the post.

Hey Mr. Bill

I scored a great quickie about 6 months ago. I was there at Cherries closing and propositioned that tight little blond with the russian sounding name (which I forgot). We agreed for about a half hour for $60 at that little fleabag down the street ($11 room- all nite), we ended spending over an hour there humping like weasels. She had to shower and leave as she had to be at Lipsticks by 10:30 for work. This was on a weekday and cherries was slow that day. The Hotel wasn't as awful as I feared, comparable to some in TJ.

I think she said she was available for "todo noche" for around $200 *negotiable*, but it had to be at a better Hotel LOL.

I haven't seen her around lately though. I think a lot of girls who work the Cherries-Lipstick shift get about a half to hour and a half break, which some put to good use!!1

OG

OG

Thanks for the tip, OG. I kinda thought that was the case... Anyone else, please add yer .02 if ya' got em'.

Hey, where's the $11 hotel??? I always gotta pay $40 for Motel San Luis or Granada. Am I paying the gringo rate? Or the "double" rate? Or the weekend rate? (I always go weekends).

RE: prices going up w/ return of UA kiddies - I was afraid of that. I didn't pay more than $40 for FS all summer, negotiation lasted about 5 seconds. Maybe a good strategy if prices begin to rise is to bang the waitresses.

Mr Bill,

The "11 dollar hotel" is down the street from placers, et al, before you get to the Colonial Inn.

It usually has a small sidewalk sign, giving the price. It is a real cheap hotel, but good for a quickie if the chica agrees. Some will refuse, wanting a better room.

Some of those waitresses are great!!!

OG

Mr. Bill, the hotel action is to be had. I've closed the place down about 10 times and always left with something. ;-)