Hola, mongers.

MrBill here. Well, I pretty much struck-out in Nogie last night (a first for me). MrBill isn't having a good week...

I decided to embark upon a new mongering strategy, as my last all-nighter really took it out of me. I decided I can't wait until 3:00-4:00 AM for my "dates" any more - I spend too much money, drink too much, and of course, don't get any sleep. So my new strategy is this: head down about 7:00 PM to some bars that are open early, and arrange for a hotel date when the chicas are done with their "day shifts". That way I can have a few brewskis (brewskitas?), a couple nasty lap dances and fuck some young thing - all before midnight. Then I can get a good night's sleep and have pleasant dreams (and some money left-over!!)

I embarked upon my new plan of action, and all seemed to be going according to that plan. I went to Cherry's about 7:00 PM to survey the talent. Very nice selection that night - way better than two weeks ago. Typical, mercurial Nogales. I wanted to chill a while before choosing my "date", but I jumped early on this chica because she showed me her panocha at the table and let me finger-fuck her a little. And being a DATY kind of guy, I was enticed by her ample genitalia. She wasn't the hottest gal in the place (but not bad), but she had a nice, young, soft bod, and she seemed like just enough of a "bad girl" for my tastes. You see, I am on a quest to find that chica that REALLY likes to fuck, and I'm more than willing to "deep-throat" her clit as long as it takes in order to "help her along". And I don't mind if she's not a trophy chica. I'm less of a GFE-kind-of-guy than a want-to-star-in-my-own-porno-movie-kind-of-guy. So, I figured this was the chica for me.

WRONG!!!

So I hook up with Alexa (my "date") for most of the night in the club, waiting for closing time. I bought her several laps and a ficha drink, because I'm an idiot (I'd already arranged the "date" with her). I snuck in a lap with Daniela (see below) while Alexa was in the dressing room after her time on stage - thought I'd get away with it. It was worth it, but Alexa saw me with her. She didn't act mad, but I wonder if this hurt my mileage. Well, Alexa was real friendly in the bar, letting me finger her at the table etc. I asked her for 'toda la noche' and she acquiesced. "How much?" "$100." Cool. "Toda la noche?" "Si" (lie #1) I confirmed this (toda la noche, si) with her several times. "You don't have to work at Lipstick's later?" "No" (lie #2)

Cherry's shut-down at about 8:30 and we were off. Quick walk over to Hotel Andres, just around the corner. $25. Nice place, actually. Just one, little problem. !!HACE CALOR!! I can't believe I'm saying this, but for a brothel hotel, this place is actually sort of charming. 12-foot (!) ceilings, lovingly painted colorful rooms, immaculately clean (!) and a pretty decent ceiling fan. And get this - little twin beds separated by a night stand a la "I Love Lucy" and the 50's TV shows where you couldn't ponder the idea that mom and dad slept in the same bed. Twin beds in a brothel joint?? That's okay, they can be squished together to from a decent double bed.

We grabbed some decent comida (tamales, frijoles, pasta) from a street vendor working out of the back of his car, just down the street. "To go, please" - Woo-hoo! Alexa had to leave the room to use the phone, so I lovingly arranged the twin beds into a double-size love pit, pillows and those fuzzy, acrylic blankets lovingly arranged for our amorous comfort. I proudly showed her the fruits of my labor, but she didn't even crack a smile. Uh-oh... Chica: 98.6% >> 32%. And here's a tip on the ceiling fans - if you want the light off, turn the light off with the pull-chord on the fan itself - DONT use the light switch - that turns off the lights AND the fan. BIG mistake - I think a big part of the reason I got such a bum deal is that it was 110% in that place. I'd say, unless it's 60% or less outside, get a hotel with aire.

She asked me for the money up-front. Not a great sign, but no problem. Then (lie #3) was betrayed: I was getting two hours, not toda la noche. I tried to reason with her, but you can guess where that got me. Oh, well...

After a little comida, we got down to business. All seemed okay at first - I was chomping her panocha like it was the last one on Earth, and then we got to the good stuff. She was okay for a while, but it was so fucking hot in there that I decided to give her a rest before we both fainted. I figured I could finish a little later (I'd purchased 2 hours, after all). But no, she was done. "Two hours?" - more like 30 minutes. (lie #4) I figured I could at least negotiate a BJ (covered) to finish me off. She acquiesced, but my soured mood and the heat got in the way. "Ya", she said. Apparently this means "enough" (literally translated, "already"). So I ponied up another $20 (up front, of course) for her to finish the job. My mood had sunk to the point as to making this impossible by now. "Ya" again. YA! YA! YA! I fucking hate that word. (Oh, did I mention how she likes to watch TV while you're fucking and sucking her with all your might? At least I can chuckle about the fact that she's too stupid to operate the TV - couldn't get it off of the "menu' screen to change the channel).

My pathetic consolation prize was getting to shower with her (a little). That was fun while it lasted. She even let me DATY again in the shower (sounds like fun), but the fucking shower head was pointed right at my face, and I was taking on more water than pussy. So I tried to adjust the shower head so it wasn't drowning me via my nostrils any more, but... "Ya!". FUCK! Oh, and no hay toallas. FUCK! FUCK!! We dried-off with the pillowcases. I was even nice enough to air-dry her by waving a folded pillowcase up and down at a million miles an hour like an idiot. Did the trick, but not much gratitude from "guapa". You're welcome, sweetie. It's my pleasure...

Well, I figured I might as well have her run a quick errand for me afterwards - to get some more condoms in case I still had enough of a nut left to bust elsewhere. At least I wouldn't go home completely empty-handed. She had just enough kindness left in her heart to oblige me. I gave her a $20 and she said she'd be back "rapido". Whatever... About 30 minutes go by and no chica. FIGURES!! Why should this surprise me? I was surprised my wallet was still in my pants after I came out of the shower.

Then things got weird. The phone rang. "Bueno?" I thought it was Alexa, telling me something like "Shucks, there all out of condoms, so I'm going to have to split with your money". I was too borracho to understand a word of Spanish any more, so I just said, "Later, guapa" and hung up. Then, Alexa showed up with a friend and the rubbers. Okay... Then the two of them tried in earnest to tell me something but I was too fubar to comprehend. I thought they were trying to say that I hadn't paid her yet - which I had. We eventually just gave up, and I realized that I was mistaken. They left. Alexa had the nerve to ask me when I was coming back (to see her). W-h-a-a-a-a-a-t??? I didn't betray my disgust with her, but I just said "two or three weeks". Yeah, see you then, sweetheart - can't wait...

Another nice thing about this hotel is that they have a few snack items available at the lobby 24/7 - chips, candy, sodas, etc - and GATORADE!!! Woo-hoo!! I walked down to the lobby to get something to drink, and then it dawned on me - was the chica at the lobby (nice, sweet girl - non-pro, non-puta) - the girl who called me on the phone (whom I thought was Alexa)? Yes, it was. Oh, shit! What a fucking dunce! I explained to her that I thought she was someone else (when you're a little borracho, every Mexican girl sounds alike to me over the phone - especially when they don't speak any English). She didn't seem to mind. I tried to 'cry on her shoulder' about what a puta Alexa was to me, having read Westfargo's advice about telling chicas sob stories... No dice - she just kind of looked at me and smiled, being to nice to say, "What the fuck should I care, stupid borracho gringo whore-monger!!"

Went back to the cuarto to drown my sorrows in Gatorade, and the lobby chica calls again. She was calling to see if I was okay (if I needed anything else from the lobby). She was leaving her post to use the phone for a while, so she didn't want to leave me hanging. Awww... I tried to non-threateningly flirt with her a little on the phone, and I asked if I could come talk to her for a while. She said okay. I tried to talk to her, but my brain was no longer processing Spanish, and I was still poco borracho. So I said "buenos noches" and exiled myself back to my room.

I wallowed in my sorrows for an hour or so before I could muster the cohones to venture out and try again. I didn't have enough money to score another hotel date, but I could at least get some nice young ass bobbing up and down on lap whilst tits smother my face. Maybe I could end the evening on a lighter note after all.

A final note re: Alexa - in all fairness, she's probably not a (complete) puta, just not worth your time outside the bar. She's probably okay in the VIP room, and if you like to DATY, she's your gal. Just don't make the mistake I did and "ask her out on a date". You won't be writing home to Mom about this chica. Ctd...

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A couple side notes on Cherry's that evening:

1) Got to watch a gringa chica get a lap dance. The dancer told me she was a lesbo, but a lipstick one at that (implants). She seemed a little awkward and embarrassed, but I think she had a good time. Needless to say, every eyeball in the place was glued to the scene. And she got a hearty round of applause for her efforts. (No wonder she was a little nervous - much more of that and there would have been a riot!)

2) There's a chica working at Cherry's in the afternoons (and I'm pretty sure Lipstick's later) named Daniela. I know I'm a panocha-on-the-brain idiot, but I swear in all sobriety that this is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in Mexico. I mean fucking perfect from head to toe. She's got a movie-star face that's more reminiscent of Spain than Mexico - she is not a really hot girl, she's a strikingly beautiful young woman. And her body must have been sculpted my Michelangelo. Perfect everything - and I've NEVER seen a more beautiful set of chi-chi's. If you paid the most gifted plastic surgeon in the world to craft the PERFECT set of C-cups, they'd pale in comparison. And they are real - trust me. The manager of Cherry's (what's his name?) told me she asks for $100. Who knows? But you owe it to yourself to lap her for $7 a pop, at least. NOTE - she's from Mexico City and is going back in two weeks (i.e. @ 9/14/01). It's worth a trip to Nogie just to lay eyes on her, or hands, or a penis.

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Ctd...I struck out for Rio, having had a nice time there a couple weeks ago. Man, this place is looking up, hombres. Plenty of top-tier chicas tonight. Maybe, along with Placer's, this is going to be the CC of Nogie. If you haven't been there yet - go there. Nice lay out - the tables surround the stage so you can see it from either side. Awesome chicas, nice folks, good prices - can't lose. Venture over there before they get wise and hike-up the prices. One really nice thing about this place is that there's more of an (almost) constant stage show, more like US strip clubs. And some of these girls can actually DANCE! Not like that tired, old US-style shit, but with genuine enthusiasm and talent. A real treat to watch (a couple chicas anyway). Is it possible that someone in Nogales has a clue about how to run a fucking strip joint??? Hmmmm... And they played almost all Western music (I think they did the last time I was there, too). And as a testament to the voracity of the chicas there, they even got funky to R.E.M.'s "Losing My Religion". Good girl!!

The only 'chica report' I'll do re: Rio is Monseratt. Funny thing, my super-cool mesero, Michaelo, brought her over to me. I didn't know who she was at first. Michaelo told me "Monseratt". Woo-hoo! The legend! When she was leading me off by the hand to our lap dance date, I asked her, "Are you Monseratt?". She seemed a bit spooked and said something like, "How did you know that?" I just told her that Michaelo told me her name. (Okay, who's been talking...?) Anyway, I was happy to have laid my eyes and hands on the legend at last. I've read what a performer she is en privado. But, at least for me that night, her lap dance was a little strange. She insisted on showing you exactly where your hands go and when. They can go many wonderful places, but only when she says so. Strange. But, my, those tits are something else!! For fake DDs, they're pretty nice - not all hard and plasticy like some. If there's a little body fat to go along with the silicone, they ain't so bad. Next time...

Quick update on some of the talent at Rio - lapdance "reports" only - just names I can remember

- Baby - guapa!!
- Monseratt - 'nuff said...
- Jessica - muy guapa, awesome B-cups (groping allowed), nice girl
- Michelle - TAN guapa, awesome B-cups (groping allowed), beautiful big, white teeth, great lap and a sweetheart (gives you a few tiny, besos dulces - nice touch)
- Brianna - blonde, big tits are optical illusion, looks MUCH better in the dark, but very nice girl (low mileage, low price) - dynamite stage-dancer (watch the footwork, impressive)
- Su-Li(?) "soo-lee" - Mexican, very pretty, girl next door, very nice, very popular - very pretty but not as pretty as some, but she's popular for a reason
- ??? - petit, thin, very young, 1/2 mexican 1/2 asain, muy guapa, any questions?
- Ecstasis - fat, ugly, PUTA FROM HELL - RUN! RUN!! RUN!!!
- "The Shark" - very ugly, fat, old, will pester you for ANYTHING, but does take "no" for an answer (be nice...) Toss her a bone if you think you can get away from her (he he he) - poor girl...

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Well, that was MrBill's not-so-excellent adventure. I guess we all just have to take the good with the bad every now and then. I know these chicas are professional liars, but there's a difference between a few "little white lies" typical of "the business" and a plain rip-off. Nogales still ROCKS, though. I now know, at least, that I can alter my mongering pattern so as not to send me to the poor-house, and cause me to have to take a week to recover from each trip.

Bloodied but un-bowed,

MrBill (Ooooooh Noooooooooh!!!)

Loved your report.... A bit bummed your all nighter only lasted a few hours... The temperature can be hell..I am posted a TJ report a little later, the heat killed me there....anyway, i believe the only way to get a real all nighter is to build a realtionship with a chica there...sometimes it may take some time, like months..I wish you luck..By the way, try monserat, you cant go wrong..

Hey, Superdick. Yeah, the heat can be a bee-yotch! I can handle it okay, but it really takes a toll on the chicas.

I'm sure you're right about getting a "real all nighter"... Only problem with that is that I can only get down there every 2-3 weeks, and 'buliding a relationship' is tough under those circumstances. But I'm working on a sweetheart at Rio...

I'm going to try to scale-down to 1-2 hour hotel dates. I'll try to learn from my experience the other night and look for vibes/chemistry instead of chica B.S. That, and a little Spanish goes a long way...

Monserat is on my list, too. !Oye!

A few notes:

brewskitas - will be in Websters by 2010

Your comment:
she just kind of looked at me and smiled, being to nice to say, "What the fuck should I care, stupid borracho gringo whore-monger!!"

Thats funny!

Daniella - There used to be a Daniella there last year working at lipsticks. Blond hair about 5'5"-5'7" (can never tell, damn those 5 inch heels they wear). Extremely cute, extremely beautiful body. She is very good in the booths, pretty wild and did i mention, extremely cute and extremely beautiful. Can you believe this girl was thinking of to the USA. She probably did and realized how she had it pretty good over there in Nogales.

hey
when will we see mr bill & milkmans excellent adventures in Nogales ?
when you said only 4 or 5 regular clubs did you mean regular clubs that have real chicas that we can score in ?
you telling me that it is a small place made me excited
where is this place exactly ?
maybe i will make a november trip there and do up a third of the chica population while i am there
what kind of music do they play at these clubs
is it like tj ?

let me know more info so we can make our first posting together
take care
milktex

hi
mr bill get the bunkbeds ready
i will be there tonight !!
i didnt realize you were a sammy sosa home run away from me.
i thought you were in texas.
maybe i will be down in a week or 2 for a thursday thru sun trip
find out about the regular dance clubs so we can hit them all
anybody know the difference between the chicas that live here and the ones in tj ?
i cannot wait to have some fun here
it will take me about 7 hrs to drive there
thats like driving 3 blocks in los angeles during rushhour

3 things i love doing the most
eating
fucking mexican girls
driving long distances
i will be doing all 3 in 1 trip - life is good !!!

milkAZ

Bullitt - not the same Daniela. She had black hair. I wish I could describe her better. I may try to find a picture of someone who looks a little like her, but nothing could possibly do her justice. I'm also going to peruse the TJ chica reports and see if she's a part-time TJ gal. This chica could move to the US and marry the richest motherfucker she could find, no problem.

milkman - BRING IT ON!! If you're ever in Nogie, look me up (e-mail me). C'mon, you gotta at least cross Nogie off your list - I'm going to eventually go to NL and TJ just to cross them off MY list...

By "regular clubs" I meant the Nogales equivalent of AB/CC etc. There are clubs down there for "real chicas", but I haven't ventured there yet. Read the "clubs" section in the Nogales area. I will buy drinks if you want to check them out. Someone needs to report on them, so let's do it!

By "small place", I think I must have been referring to Nogales in general. But there are small bars/clubs for local chicas. Just haven't had the cohones to try them yet. My Spanish is improving but not that good yet.

Music - at the strip bars, it's almost all American music. I'm sure they play Mexican music at the non-pro bars.

Judging on what I've read about places like Pulgas in TJ, I doubt they have anything like that in Nogales (at least 100s of people...) But Nogales has several hundred thousand people, so chicas got to go somewhere, right? You might ask some of the Nogie vets about smaller bars.

Any way, if you ever get this way, let me know. Read up about Nogie here in the mean time.

hi
i am doing that as we speak
but nothing for regular clubs
isnt there any milkmen in AZ ???
can you do the research for me on the regular clubs in nogales
look for the banda or cumbia clubs where the local chicas hang out
one more thing - stupid question is there a nogales az and across the border ?
do you live close to the border ?
i want to leave my car on the usa side and walk in and if i score with some chicas either go back to thier place or get a hotel down there

anywebsites that deal with this border town ?

milkman,

If there is a milkman in AZ, he's not telling. I'll see what I can do re: researching banda/cumbia clubs. But besides asking the other Nogie vets, the only way I could find out is probably talking to mi amiga especial - wish I had her phone number... I'd have to go down to Nogie and ask her about it. I'm about 60 miles from the border, but you can park-n-walk across the border. Yes, there is a Nogales, AZ and a Nogalez, MX. I like the MX one, myslef... This is the only site that deals with Nogie - keep digging through the posts here.

Milkman:
You can park about 50 yeards from the border on the US side, walk across, turn sharp left when you get across and the clubs are about 100-150 yards, across the tracks. You have to walk across the traffic lanes, but there is a crosswalk there.
Nogales Arizona is a town as is Nogales Mexico. They are "twin cities" so to speak.
regards,
-wmax2

MrBill, really enjoyed your report. I share so many of your sensibilities (i.e. I could RELATE) I felt like I was participating in a support group reading this.

I also had a very "strange" experience with Montserat in my one encounter with her at Club Rio several months back. I found her not even in the ballpark of being "all that" (mainly she just seemed to have too much mileage on her...but very little mileage to share with me), and very controlling as you described. She gave me this intense lustful look that was so transparently phoney and creepy, it served as comic relief to an otherwise bad time. I went with her strictly based on her reputation...it was a gigantic disappointment. Later on to my great surprise, I scored a gonzo porno session with the hottest chica in the club that Saturday night (my Nogie amigo advises me she's no longer on the scene - she did look way out of place but worked like she was born to give pleasure).

Milkman, I've heard stories about places in Nogie that are made to order for you (plus places that draw semi-pros on weekends), but you'll be hard pressed to get hooked up to the right venues when you get there if your Spanish isn't fairly good. With luck, you may get an assist from cabbies, veteran Nogie mongers, or your best bet - the chicas themselves inside the strip clubs, but don't count on it. Lots of locals with vested interests (including the stripclub pimps) who will be happy to take you down the wrong road. There are some scary places scattered around Nogie and you should be cautious. I suggest you put some queries on the main discussion board and hope you can score some useful information in advance of your visit.