Pattaya: a good day

by excat
excat@earthling.net

In Pattaya on vacation, Wednesday, Nov 14, 2001 was a good day.

First I had coffee about 11 am to try to alleviate a bad hangover from drinking MeKong whiskey (a Thai brew made from rice) and five Thai beers (Singha and Kloster). I sat at an open cafeteria with local clientele at the corner of Second Road and North Pattaya Road, Pattaya where a large, uncrowded mall selling native goods is located. Charge was 16 baht for a cup of coffee. At 44 baht to a US dollar, the price was reasonable, except the waitresses were not predisposed to pour me a second cup. There is probably a charge for a second cup.

Next I went to one of the three internet cafes in the mall, which charged 50 baht an hour and ten baht less if before 12 noon. Check my e-mail accounts and nothing pressing. One friend asked me where I was vacationing. I did not tell anyone, except one brother, where I was going. My head felt better, no hangover.

3 pm, I went into the Sabai Dee massage parlor. I haven't been laid since January 2001 and I felt like a virgin. It was early in the day, but I figured I better relax with a Thai beer, 70 baht. Hair of the dog and all. There were 20 girls sitting on display behind a well-lighted, floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall sheet of glass. None really turned me on. Every time I stared at one girl trying to see through her clothes, she would turn and give me a big smile beckoning me. Not easy to x-ray eye a girl from top to bottom, when she is confronting you eye-to-eye. Why is this glass partition here if we can see each other so clearly? The big-teated girls would lean towards me to show their cleavage. I guess I looked a little better than a couple of middle-aged, unshaven Asians who looked like they had just been pulling rickshaws and badly need a shower, a shave, and a smile.

Two young, tall Westeners came in and immediately drew the attention of all the girls. A sense of panic hits me. I had better choose. I decided on one of the smaller, younger girls. Someone who would not hurt me too much if she got rough. Someone who might not mind the clumsiness of a re-virginized monger. Someone who would not look at me and giggle too loudly. I paid 1500 baht for an hour and a half and my selected Thai girl took me by my hand and led me to another girl, who showed us to a room with one large bed to one side, framed mirrors on the ceiling, and a giant-sized bathtub in the far corner of the sunken, tiled back third of the room. Why can't my apartment in the States be like this? On the other hand, I have no need for it.

We bathed together in the giant tub, we massaged in a foam of soap on an air mattress, and we smacked flesh. Whoa, it felt good to be back in the saddle again. I forgot how good it felt to feel warm pressure encasing my born-again erect member. She let me go at my own pace, which had to be slow because the dam of ten months of no woman was well-passed the danger zone into the red zone. So, I was able to practice a few rusty moves. She did not like her calves on my shoulders, a little too gymnastic for her. I guess it has been 20 years since I last had a soapy massage, which was simply called body massage (meaning she used her body to massage you) as opposed to a hand massage (meaning she used her hands to massage you). One piece of advice, for the next soapy massage be sure to select a big-teated girl.

For my meal of the day, I stopped at KFC, located across the street from Soi 2 and ordered the Colonel Burger, about 25 baht, and Zinger Burger, about 50 baht. I figured that I needed the grease to soak up the alcohol that I would have over the next few night hours. The first burger was a typical piece of oily-tasting, deep-fried crust. The second burger was good, because it had real chicken meat buried in the middle and had a mild spicy taste. I have to remember to stop here again.

Walked west or towards Bangkok on Second Road -- away from all the clusters of beer bars, half-emptied murky clubs on side streets, boys' clubs, and the Walking Street area. I got to the traffic circle, where the mall I mentioned was located, and crossed over to Naklua Road. There were more beer bars and little eating places, and more European tourists on the sidewalk. I went into Happy Massage, which did not look like a massage place except for the activity of women moving around in back. Was quoted 200 baht for one hour and 400 baht for two hours, and saw no open display of girls. Must be a "physical" massage place, advertisement that initially made me think non-physical but must really mean non-sexual. Left and walked down the street about 100 feet and saw another Happy Massage place, with a Romanesque building front. Went in and on my immediate left was an immense span of glass behind which was a well-lighted bleacher of 50 sitting girls. Nearly all were not appetizing, but then as I headed out the door I spotted one hidden beauty in the middle. I have to remember to return.

Entered Pussy a Go Go, a club where in the middle of the room there were three girls dancing on a circular stage around a mirrored column. Grabbed a stool near the rear, ordered a Kloster, 90 baht, and eyed the 15 girls in their bikinis. None of the girls approached me. For the first beer of the night, that was good for me. To sit, watch, and reflect. Several girls were working their customers. In one corner cushioned booth sat two elderly Western couples, who looked a little bored, probably enlightened Europeans who have not undergone American puritanical shame. Most of the girls were in little groups blattering away in their sing-song native language. Did not see any girls that really interest me.

Slowly made up mind to leave and gather the steam to rise to my feet, when a bikinied girl approached me with a raffle board. She said, buy a ticket for 100 baht and win a free bar fine, listed on a wall sign at 500 baht, or a drink or other prizes. But, I said, I have no luck with lotteries, thinking Powerball or Big Game. Another girl comes over and said, pick my number. I did not want to offend, but I did not want to show interest in these two girls. So, I ask, what is the number of that girl over there? I paid the 100 baht and received a folded, stapled ticket-sized piece of paper with its number hand-written on the outside. I won a bottle of champagne. Not bad. Opened it and shared it with the girls.

As I winded my way along Naklua Road and then Second Road in the general direction of my hotel, I meandered through the complexes of beer bars and blaring boom boxes, eyed the girls looking for my types, and smiled back on the feminine screeches of Welcome and You Handsome Man. My Brownian movement in play, an inebriated walk down pleasure lane. Stopped and had a brew here and there.

Classroom 2000 presented a variety of acts where girls showed tricks with their twat, the usual penmanship, smoking a lit firecracker, stuffing and then dropping all manners of objects standing over a bowl, etc. The night before there was a two-lesbo act, which was a little unusual in that the lickee had an almost perfect side split and would thus show her twat in various spread eagle position to all eight corners of the room. Amid it all was the perfect beautiful waitress. She looked 17 years old, clear healthy complexion, serene and composed, in a green ankle-length Chinese dress that hid a modest slim figure. If only I was 20 years younger and rich and had a big ... But, aesthetically she fulfilled a sense of something missing in Pattaya. Looking at her was like looking a classical landscape painting and gave the same sense of awe and wonderment.

For my aural pleasure, there was the Tropical Bar, a club with the front wall ripped away to present an open environment that matched and competed with the beer bar complex across the alley called Soi 2. A killer sound system, that has almost no distortion in the treble and a bass that could be both heard and felt. One little drawback, most of the music played did not pulsate. But, the some that did made me want to drift away on the sound waves as I perused the scene in front of me. Sound images of Western men dry-humping the wriggling brown-skin Thai girls; a couple of Western men showing the meaness of their spirit in the rigidity of their spine and hard glares; a 75-year old, 50-pound overweight Westener embracing and kiss-sucking a few more drops of life from the chest of a 35-year old hard-lined Thai woman; the companionless-for-the-moment Thai girls dancing and mock-fucking each other in the alley; an orgy of pheromone, testosterone, and estrogen.

Yes, a good day for me.

Nice report!

Xen, did you read this? Pattaya after 10 months of no sex! I have trouble getting past a week with no sex. I cannot relate. I am permanently spoiled.

Excat, I hope you made up for 10 months of no sex with an excellent rest of your trip and that we won't have to wait 10 more months for you to get laid again.