There was no bus leaving Singapore for Kuala Lumpur for several hours, so we decided instead to go to Johor Bahru. This is the Malaysian city just across the causeway from Singapore, where many of the people who work in Singapore live. Much like US workers who live in Tijuana, they do so because the cost of living is about half that of Singapore. We were pleasantly surprised by Johor Bahru. It is a much nicer city than the reports we had read suggested. There were a lot of people crossing the border but Immigration was pretty efficient. The trip took about an hour. Girls are available here, but we had to choose between spending the night here or in Kuala Lumpur, as the last bus for KL was leaving soon, and it was a 5 - 6 hour trip. We chose KL and paid 20R for an air conditioned Super VIP bus. As we were to discover, these buses are all well worn, but still far better than the regular buses or minibuses.

After a thirty minute stop to eat, we arrived in KL about 11:30 PM. Tony slept the whole way. I read a book. Our tentative plan had been to stay at the Concorde Hotel, at 2 Jalan Sultan Ismail, adjacent to the Hard Rock Café. Our research had indicated that this was a 4 star hotel which was guest friendly, and even had girls available on premises. In addition, the Hard Rock, and the nearby Beach Club were reputed to have a nice lineup of available talent, as well. The other main form of entertainment here is health clubs. These are just fronts for brothels where you are given a lineup of girls to select from. The going rate is 150R to 160R for short time. I was so exhausted, however, that I did not think I was up for anything but a shower and bed. Tony agreed, despite all the sleep he had already had. We checked out a couple of the backpacker's hotels near where the bus dropped us off. They were total crap. A block away, we found the Impiana, a 3 - 4 star hotel where a room with 2 twin beds was 140 R. After showering, I was amazed to find that I was now awake, and in a mood to explore. We walked around a little, and then decided, what the heck, let's at least go take a look at the area around the Hard Rock.

Upon arriving, we knew we had found KL's party central. It was 1 AM on a Saturday night, and there were people everywhere. There was a whole row of custom painted scooters, the KL equivalent of the Harley choppers you sometimes see in the USA. Presumably because we looked like tourists, or maybe just because we were unattached guys, we attracted the attention of several touts. All offered beautiful girls for 200 - 300R for an hour to an hour and a half. If we were staying close by, they could be brought to our rooms to choose. We told them maybe later, and walked around the area. We checked out the Concorde Hotel, and I will definitely stay there if I make it back. It appears to be a 4 star hotel, and the price for a single room was quoted as 228R. Besides the two aforementioned clubs, there was also one called the Emporium. Most of the women in these three clubs were with dates, but we saw several absolute stunners. We considered going in, but we were very tired, it was very hot, the clubs were really crowded, and we were underdressed. We also had trouble believing that there were very many working girls in these places, considering how classy everyone looked. We later found out from a local that there are indeed girls there, but that they would have cost us at least 400R, and maybe twice that. We decided to accompany the only female pimp we had encountered. She was a fat girl who spoke perfect English, and was offering the best deal - 90 minutes for 200R, after some negotiating. Since we were not staying in the area, it would be an extra 30R for a room. We accompanied her to the Park Inn International hotel, only to find out she was just a shill for the Hoe Wah Executive Health Club on the fifth floor. We were not pleased, knowing we had just agreed to a price that was at least 70R more than we should be paying. However, I was so tired after 48 hours with only an hour of sleep, that it was this or nothing, so we stayed.

We took the elevator up one floor, and went through a locked door that stated that the rooms in that area were closed for renovation. Apparently, Malaysians are somewhat concerned about keeping up a respectable front. A dozen or so girls were brought in, of which I found three attractive enough to consider. The rest I would rate a 6 or 7. My second favorite looked amazingly like Monica, the petite street girl from Tijuana, but I chose a girl named Eena. Just after I picked her, another dozen or so girls walked by in the hall, on the way to another room. I was disappointed that they did not come in, as they appeared to be a better looking group. This was unfortunately a trend that ended only in Phuket. In many of the less touristy areas, the best looking girls were not available to Westerners, for whatever reason. One of the girls did walk into our room by mistake, but quickly left after smiling at Tony. Unfortunately, we now had a problem, as Tony decided that was the only girl he was interested in. I thought she had a cute face, but her body was too big for my tastes. Luckily, the guy in the other room decided quickly, and the second group of girls walked back by. Tony got the girl he wanted, and after paying, we were off to our rooms.

Eena was the only girl I encountered on my trip who did not speak English. She was Indonesian, about 5'2" and 110 lbs, with firm B cups and no fat. She was friendly but professional. After a shower, she went straight into a very nice BBBJ. Since I had not had sex in over a week, I had to stop her in about 5 minutes in order to prolong the enjoyment. She expertly applied a condom, and proceeded with some very competent cowgirl action. She was tight, but not amazingly so. We then switched to missionary, and finished doggie style. This had taken about 25 minutes, and we proceeded back to the shower where she once again gave me a good washing. I next asked for a massage. She complied, but was obviously not very experienced. After about 10 minutes she said that was all. It took me about 5 more minutes to explain to her that I had been promised 90 minutes, and I wanted to go again, as we still had 40 minutes left. She was obviously not pleased, but did not argue. The second session was a more lengthy repeat of the first, with the exception that I removed the condom and finished in her mouth because I had run out of time and that was what she did best. She did not indicate that she was expecting a tip, and I already knew that tips are not customary in Malaysia, so I did not give her one.

Looks: 8
Attitude: 6
Performance: 7
Photo: Eena
Would repeat if no other girls caught my attention

When I got back to the 5th floor, Tony was waiting. He was considerably less happy with his session. His girl was a little flabby, which I knew already. I have learned that I am better than most guys at guessing what a girl looks like undressed. My theory is this comes from years of working in topless bars. Despite her very friendly and playful attitude in the interview room, her performance was so-so, with no BJ. He did not make any attempt to go a second time. She spoke some English, so he did discover that the first group of girls was all Indonesian, and the group in the hall was all Thai. Apparently that had nothing to do with our being westerners, it was just the luck of the draw. We went back to our hotel, and I was out as soon as I hit the pillow. For some reason I woke up a couple of hours later, so I only got about three hours sleep for the night.

In the morning, we went downstairs for an interesting free breakfast. The food was a mixture of English and Malaysian dishes. Most of it was good, but I won't be trying fish porridge again any time soon. We then headed next door to the bus station. We were very disconcerted to find that the ONLY buses to Hat Yai, Thailand all left in one hour, at 9:30 AM. We grabbed a cab and rushed to Petronas Towers, the one sight in all Malaysia we really wanted to see. I did not even have time to go back to the room and get my camera. The cab driver took a very circuitous fifteen minute route, and wanted to stop to buy a newspaper, and then to buy coffee. We told him no way, and I was really starting to lose my temper. I laughed when he asked for a tip, and told him I knew that he had purposefully gone out of his way so as to drive up the cost. We had originally planned to have him wait, so it was his loss. I find most famous buildings to be underwhelming when I see them in person. The Petronas Towers are a notable exception. Not only are they huge, they have a very interesting design. I wish we had had more time, so that we could have taken a tour and gone on the sky bridge, but as it was we barely made the bus. The return cab ride was 5 minutes faster and a little over half the price.

The bus ride to Hat Yai was similar to the one to KL, except the bathroom in the bus was padlocked. After a little while, all palm trees look the same, damn it! Since I was interested in sights other than just naked females, buses had sounded like a good idea. You know, meet some people, see the sights, etc. Well, I know it is hard to believe, but I am wrong occasionally . This was one of those times. After this, I knew I was flying to my other destinations. There was a young American backpacking couple on the bus who told us to avoid Phuket. They said there were too many tourists, and we would hate it. I'm glad to say they were very very wrong. There was also a passenger named Tan who we would get to know in Hat Yai. He lives in KL and recommended the Subaru Club at KL Plaza, across from the Regent Hotel, if we ever return. We stopped twice, the second time near the Thai border. Here, the bus driver took everyone's passports and filled out all the paperwork for us, which would later speed our entry into Thailand considerably. There was a small shrine in the parking lot that provided an interesting memory of an otherwise unmemorable location[photo below]. I had a good cheap meal, and Tony changed various currencies that he had left over from previous trips. He was still at it when the bus started to leave, and I had to get right in the driver's face to make him stop. If several of the locals had not joined me in protesting loudly, I think he might have actually left him there - without a passport. The people in Malaysia, both Muslim and others, were uniformly pleasant and helpful, except for our two bus drivers. Both were surly and rude. Just to be on the safe side, since Malaysia is forty percent Muslim, Tony and I had told everyone who asked that we were Canadian. I never felt the least bit threatened, but I did see a truck pass us with an image of Osama Bin Shithead on its mudflaps. I'm glad we were not trying to hitch a ride.

I'm turning more Mexican by the day, but I'd pick bus trips in a strange land over air travel any day too. What was so bad about it?

'Tony' only went once with a chica after spending all that time traveling to get there? She musta been a DOG! PLEASE keep the reports coming promptly? You REALLY don't need to sleep!

The bus trips were boring as hell. It was just the same scenery over and over again - palm trees, palm trees, and more palm trees. Once it got dark, it was even worse. Also, the A/C was not all that great, and I wanted to sleep but could not. On the plus side, umlike Mexico, there were few children on the bus, and the ones that were there were very well behaved. Tony's girl was not a dog, she just was not as cute as he had thought, and he was not happy with her performance.

This shrine is referenced in Hippie's report above

Next time take the train from S'pore to KL instead of the bus. It leaves at like 6:30am. It's fast and very clean inside with a TV even. The trains were considerably nicer than the Thai trains too.