HOW TO GET THERE
I love traveling all of Mexico but I usually prefer getting away from the border where I am just another Gringo. Hermosillo is the capital of Sonora, Mexico and the closest big city to my home town of Tucson. It is about a 4 or 5 hour drive south. For any details on drive times, tolls, permisos and other hassles I would refer you to http://nschool.org/.

Just suffice it to say that the great times I have had traveling in Mexico (on the bus or driving) are well worth any hassles I have encountered.

Over the past couple of years I have traveled to Hermosillo over a dozen times and I seem to learn something new on every trip. I started out taking the bus because it was easier on my "Mexico phobias". I wrote about the Mexican buses before in my Mazatlan report. If you stay with the "clase primera" and travel during daylight they are very inexpensive, clean, safe, relaxing and comfortable. There are some companies that leave from U.S. cities and take you across the border. I started out that way but soon learned how to "go native" and take the bus from the Central de Autobus in Nogales, Sonora. That gives you a bigger selection of buses. The prices are a little lower and you usually save a lot of time by crossing the border on foot.

HOTELS & RESTAURANTS
Hermosillo is the capital of Sonora and I think it has a population of at least half a million. It has a very large and varied selection of good restaurants and hotels. Most of the better hotels are located in or near the "Zona Hotelera" but after I started driving down there I also found quality in the outlying areas. That is, of course, the big advantage of driving: the freedom to explore. Very few things in Hermosillo are centrally located and within walking distance, as they are in most border towns, so after awhile taxi fares can start to eat away at your fun budget.

I have stayed at two hotels in the Hotel Zone, La Siesta and the Gandara. Prices are competitive between most of the hotels and usually run about $500 pesos per night. I don't recommend La Siesta only because there was sewer stench coming from the drains in the bathroom. They moved me to another room but I could still smell it. Also no one at the front desk spoke any English. Pluses are that it is within walking distance of sports bars, restaurants and one table dance club, Bossnia. I much prefer the Gandara. I am told it is owned by the Gandara brothers and they also have a hotel in San Carlos. While watching my Packers loose on the hotels big screen TV last winter I struck up a conversation with a Canadian who spends every winter at the hotel. He has gotten to know the owner Caesar Gandara and he said the family has political connections in Sonora. The hotel has great service, a good restaurant, a nice pool and I have always found someone at the desk that speaks English. Last winter I also noticed that the local winter league baseball team (the Naranjeros, mentioned in a previous report) was also staying there.

As far as restaurants, Hermosillo has quite a few good ones. Most of the regular motels (San Martin, San Angel, San Sebastian) have great Mexican buffets. I usually go for the breakfast buffet and really pig-out so I am good for the rest of the day. In the evening I have enjoyed Sonora Steak for the best aged rib-eye I have ever experienced. And Marriachisimo for great food and great Mariachi music. All of the Chinese restaurants I have tried in Hermosillo have been quite good with large tasty portions and very reasonable prices.

NO TELL MOTELS
As much as I liked the Gandara I have fallen in love with Hermosillos "No tell Motels"! The first one I found is on the extreme west side of the city on the road to Kino Bay. It is called the Marquis. It is very close to the airport on Blvd Garcia Morales on the north (right side of the road). There is a sign that says "Habitaciones de lujo $200 pesos". I had to look that one up: "Luxury rooms".




Please be aware, I found no one at the Marquis - or any other "No Tell Motel" could speak a word of English. The security was tighter than a SAC Air Force Base! Gates at the entrance and exit and nobody comes or goes without them knowing. I found out that the $200 peso price is only during the week and it goes up to $600 pesos on the weekend. $600 pesos is still cheap considering what you get. Each room has its own car port with electric garage door. The rooms are immaculate. The AC is ice cold. Every room has black out curtains (much appreciated when you want to take a siesta during the heat of the day!). There is a panel at the bedside that has a dimmer switch and a control for the FM stereo. The satellite TV has no American stations but it does have two porn channels! That's a pretty good trade, I would say! There is a restaurant that provides room service only - no sit down. I did not try the food there. Also, one of the young men that does check-in and security there asked me "Quiere una muchacha?".
I also did not try the pussy there either- yet! LOL



I found the Marquis a couple of months ago. Since then I was astounded to find an even better "No tell Motel" on the opposite side of town. The motel Autoparador is on the Northeastern entrance to Hermosillo on Highway 15. Another words it is one of the first hotels you encounter as you near the city from the North. It is on the opposite side of the highway as you enter the city, so it would be on your left. It is almost right across from the Hotel San Martin - which is right down the road from Hotel Premier and the Zona Hotelera previously mentioned. It is basically the same as the Marquis - only better. I got a fantastic room with a large jacuzzi for $350 pesos a night. They told me they charge the same price regardless of the day of the week. They have the same security set-up, private car ports, room service (including pussy). The satellite TV at the Autoparador also has no American channels but has three porno channels. This place has four regular suites with jacuzzis and one master suite with a jacuzzi.




Someone I work with told me that these type of motels are not uncommon in Mexico. Can any of you old Mexican hands verify that? Mr. Bill - does Nogales have any "No tell Motels"? How about Juarez or TJ? These places are so nice that if I had a novia or esposa I wouldn't hesitate to take them there. Of course, in Mexico you can always rent-a-novia!

TABLE DANCE CLUBS

Yes, most of the clubs here share names with clubs elsewhere in Sonora. I suppose they are run by the same Mexican Mafia that operates the No Tell Motels and massage parlors, etc. In general I disagree with Elfman36 that Nogales is less expensive than Hermo. I agree that the selection appears to be greater in Nogales but I think the prices are higher due to the proximity to the border. Besides, being the only Gringo in the club has its advantages. Sometimes the women have been very flattering with me just because I was only man in the club with light skin and blue eyes. By-the-way, I am middle-aged, slightly overweight and don't consider myself that good looking. Of course, I always tape $1000 peso note to my forehead before I go clubbing - I guess that might help! LOL!

I will start with a list of clubs that I did not enjoy myself at. I will save the best for last.

CIRCUS CIRCUS: This club, mentioned in a much older report is closed. Too bad because it is in a very central location.

HOT FOX: Also shut down. My friend and local guide Carlos said that the local health department closed it! I didn't even know that a health department even existed in the entire country! LOL!

BOSSNIA: Located in the Zona Hotelera. Did not find any hot chicas when I went there and do not recall the prices except I remember they were too much for what was offered so I left.

LORD BLACK: In the Zona Central near Hotel Kino. Some very hot latinas but the prices are pretty high. Like $700-800 pesos for fucky-sucky in the privado for 20 minutes. A better deal than what I have gotten in Nogales and I comfortable privado with a leather couch but still too high for Mexico.

OOPS!: Boy did they name this place right! If you like extremely crowded bars with extremely loud music this is your place. I also did not feel very safe there. Some young gringos out side the club started a fight with some Mexicans they said ripped them off (probably a bad drug deal). The cops came and I went. Never had a chance to check the prices.

HABANA CLUB & PLATINUM CLUB: I didn't know there were any ugly chicas in Mexico until I visited these places.

PLACERS: This has become my favorite club in Hermosillo for the past year or so. I have become one of their best customers and well known by the manager Sergio because of all the pesos I have spent there. Other than Sergio and some of the people behind the bar all the personnel changes at least once a month. New dancers and new waiters and waitresses! I have never found out why there is such a turn-over but I suspect it is planned by the management that way. I have attached a couple of snapshots of the chicas taken at Placers. Usually I am the only Gringo there and the only one who speaks English. I have never seen any of these girls again , unfortunately. But maybe they will rotate back around. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you Mongers recognize these women from other cities in Mexico. Table dances are so cheap I don't even remember what they cost ($50 pesos?). Touching is unlimited. Most of the dancers are very aggressive and I have had an attractive female had down my pants and I have been the happy recipient of a BBBJ while I sitting there watching the show!! I think beer is about $15 pesos with frequent 2 for 1's. Privados I think are $150-200 pesos in either the little curtained closet (like they have in Nogales) or in a larger room with a padded bench - I would hesitate to call it a lounge. For this price most of the women have given me a BBBJ and one gave me FS but as always, YMMV. I like to really enjoy the ladies so I usually pay-up to $500 pesos to spend at least 20 minutes fucking and sucking. Most of the chicas will also hit you up for a propina in addition to the $500 pesos and this, like almost everything in Mexico, is up to you to negotiate to the best of your ability. Sometimes the music is a little loud at Placers and the men's room is disgusting but I have never seen any fights there, no one has ever hassled me and I feel pretty safe. Placers is the only club in Hermosillo where I have been successful in negotiating a GFE. I call it a GFE because I did see this woman at the club on another trip and she was upset when I paid attention to another chica.

Photos:

Scarlet
Sitlaly

I would like to add this personal note about the GFE experience I had with a chica from Placers. It happened about a year ago and her name was Pati. She was not the most attractive chica in the club but I will post her photo and let you guys be the judge. What she lacked in beauty she certainly made up for in sexual aggressiveness! She was a fucking tigress!! (God I love Latin women!). She looked directly into my eyes and said (in English): "I want to fuck you soo good!" I paid the standard $150 pesos, the minimum for a privado there, and she pro ceded to do exactly that! She never asked me for another peso and refused to let me buy her drinks when the waiters were offering them.

Much later, like 3AM, she pulled up to my hotel in a Taxi. The taxi driver asked for $100 pesos and told I him that was too much. But she told me I needed to pay that much because she had to take the taxi to her home from the club and then to my hotel. So I paid him.

We had a great session in bed for a couple of hours, got a couple hours of sleep and then had breakfast in the hotel restaurant . She told me she wanted us to be "novios" and she told me she loved me. She told me not to give her too much money, so I gave $200 pesos. We exchanged phone numbers. Of course, once I got back to Tucson, I started having second thoughts. Like: Do I really want a relationship with a bar girl, when I know she's going to be fucking every "Tom, Dick and Pepe" that comes into that joint? -- I don't think so!

When I returned to Hermo the next month on another short mongering "vacation" I went back to my favorite club and she was there and again extremely affectionate saying things like "Mi Amor!" and she discretely gave me a BBBJ while I was watching the show. She promised to meet me at my hotel later. She then went to the dressing room to get ready to go on stage next. Then my eyes started to wander to all the other attractive chicas at the club and I bought a privado with one of them. Since she was on stage at the time, I know she observed me. Later, she was a no show at the hotel.
So, as they say: "Que sera, sera".

Photo: Pati

I've found the people of Hermosillo to be very friendly. I was there 3 times last year and each trip I think I was the only American I saw. The city is pretty good sized but it feels like a small town. Many of the girls I saw in the regular disco clubs different than most girls in Mexico. They tended to be taller, lighter skinned and prettier..in my opinion.

Hermosillo is a good city off the beaten track. You probably wouldn't just go there to hobby but it's a nice little roadtrip.

Brewmeisterbro,
I plan to be in Hermosillo within the next ten days. Late January 2004. I saw your picture of Sitaly and this lady looks good to take back to the hotel. I speak fluent spanish so I do not think I will have any problems with negotiations. Have you been down there lately and do you know if you have seen here there. Any help or recommendations would be greatly appreciated.

Elmagito

Unfortunately for all of us mongers, Sitlaly has disappeared from the TD scene! But I certainly wish you all the luck in the world in finding her! The last place I saw her was at Placers so I would check there first. Maybe she is in TJ where the real money is to be made or even in Cancun or Mexico City? Gee, I sure could have a lot of fun tracking her down -- couldn't you?

Brewman, excellent trip report. the best I've seen in a long time. I particularly liked all the photos to accompany the report. It gives the reader a better idea of how the layout looks.

I too visted Lord Blacks, but I gotta tell ya, I wasn't that taken by it. It was just another "clip joint" in TJ as far as I'm concerned.

Will definitely return to Hermosillo though in about two or three months. I loved that place so much. Many, many memories.