Bangkok. The PROMISED LAND, according to reports I first started reading on the internet in approximately 1996. I had always wanted to go, had never been able to save the money or get the vacation time, and NOW, after reading literally a HUNDRED reports and lurid tales about this giant city famous for its debauchery, I WAS FINALLY THERE!!!

Epimetheus and I proceeded quite smoothly through immigration (we landed about 8 AM on a Sunday) getting passport stamps (#2 in my passport), claimed our luggage, and then headed to the first taxi we saw outside the front doors – I was following Epi like a 4 year old at the grocery store, and he’s a lot bigger on convenience (especially lugging heavy bags) than saving a few baht. Our air conditioned metered taxi was a Mercedes. Whaddya know? A no frills, older kind of Mercedes, but still… not bad! Like every dumbass newbie in Thailand (sorry, Xen!), I did my best to climb into the driver’s seat. DOH!

Soon enough we were on the highway heading for the Dynasty Inn, a half block away from the Nana Entertainment Plaza (NEP or Nana from here on out), and the thing that immediately struck me as we drove was how modern everything looked. The highway was just like a California freeway. The road was lined with what looked to be hundreds of very modern skyscrapers. You can read descriptions and see pictures, but it had never really dawned on me that Bangkok would so resemble a western urban center. And it also hit home about this time that Bangkok was FRICKIN’ HUGE!!! As someone that has lived in large population centers most of my life, I immediately felt at home in Bangkok.

Somehow we arrived right outside of Dynasty Inn, and Epi had some baht so he paid the 400 or so for the taxi (he had paid some tolls as well, I think). We entered the rather nice lobby and headed through the front lounge area to the reception desk for check-in. Where we saw a big sign that there was a scheduled blackout to start at 8 AM. What the fuck? And sure enough, as soon as Epi was done filling out his guest card, the power went out. Uh oh. NOT good news!

As I had MAJOR plans for taking a nap on this early Sunday morning, heading to a room with no electricity (which meant no air conditioning, and it was probably already 80 degrees with a HOT sun outside) was something I was NOT looking forward to, and I immediately fell into a BAD mood. I think Epi noticed this right away, and tried to calm me down by saying there might be something we could work out. He had already been charged for having his room held the night before (we had expected to arrive around 2 AM Saturday night/Sunday morning before the weather delayed our flight 5 hours), so he was kind of stuck at that point and checked in. But like the class act he always was, he offered to have my bag taken to his room and offered to go see if maybe there was another room option close by that might work better for that day. Anything sounded better than paying an extra night’s charge for a room with no A/C to me, so I quickly agreed.

We headed across the street to the Nana Hotel, but of course as it was 8:30 in the morning at that point, they were fully booked from the night before. They said try back around noon. I figured that most hotels would be of similar status, and when Epi came up with an idea to kill a few hours and relax a little, I eagerly agreed thinking when we were done I could maybe check into the Dynasty and maybe the power outage wouldn’t take as long as planned.

Epi’s idea was to get a two hour Thai massage, and I blindly followed him for what turned out to be a few blocks walk, first crossing Sukhumvit to use an ATM, and then back across to a place called Top Inn Massage, very near the entrance to the Majestic Suites, which also seemed to be extremely convenient to the NEP action.

In the lobby downstairs (Top Inn is supposedly a hotel as well, upstairs???) there were just a couple of PC’s and some security looking guys, and Epi said we wanted to get massages and somebody went upstairs and brought down a couple of PEOPLE (one wasn’t looking much like e GIRL) that led us up one floor and into a room with a bunch of curtained off compartments with only a massage table in the middle and a small nightstand next to it. The sign downstairs had said that a 1 hr. Thai massage was 250 baht, 2 hrs. was listed at 400. I think oil massage (and I HATE the lingering feeling of oil on my sking) was a little more.

There seemed to be 4-5 girls flitting about at that very early hour, and one rather LARGE person, who like I said before, didn’t look much like a girl. Epi and I were led to adjoining compartments, and I was given a towel and shower shoes and told to take off my clothes.

I had to wait as there was only one shower and Epi beat me to it, and I ended up taking my stuff with me into the bathroom as I was nervous about leaving my backpack with all my stuff, passport, D’art’s camera and my wallet behind unattended. When I came back I was VERY nervous as the huge THING was lurking around outside my little curtained off compartment. UH OH again. While I was only there for a legit Thai massage (I thought, anyway), I really didn’t want something so large, androgynous, and UGLY doing the massaging if I could really help it. And I had heard all the horror stories about making someone lose ‘face’ in Thailand that I was REALLY scared about causing some sort of scene and saying NO that I didn’t want this RHINO touching my naked body. A scene from Coming to America flashed into my head where Eddie Murphy was interviewing potential wives and Arsenio Hall in drag tells him “I’m gonna tear you APART”. NOOOOOO!!!

But FORTUNATELY the rhino disappeared and a TOTAL cutie named Tan ended up following me into the compartment and asking me which side I preferred to have done first, front or back. One thing I was a bit afraid of before arriving in Thailand was the ability to communicate, but Tan’s English seemed quite good to me – better actually than most of the bar girls I had met in Mexico where I have almost exclusively spent my travel time before this trip. I chose my front to be massaged first, and she started working on my legs.

Tan was very skilled, and very thorough, spending a good 15 minutes on my legs below the thighs. While it felt very good, I was wishing she would do everything about 40% HARDER, but I didn’t say anything and just laid there relaxing. The air conditioning was belting out colder air than I think I had ever experienced in my life (it got FREEZING cold in there!), and there was some pretty damned good acoustic style western music playing in the background. This sure beat trying to sleep in a room with no electricity like I had thought I might have to try upon first arrival at Dynasty Inn!

I had a towel over my crotch while Tan was working on my lower legs, but as she would change from side to side, somehow she’d always end up brushing against my unit, and I was quickly reminded how horny I was upon arrival in Bangkok, as my last day and a half with Flaca had left me with NO finishes for nearly two whole days. I got several severely STIFF erections in the first 45 minutes or so that she worked on my front side, and it was funny watching it poke the towel skyward. Tan would see it and just giggle every once in awhile, and I gotta say that at that moment her smile seemed like the most incredibly warmest and friendliest smile I had ever seen. And Tan was just plain CUTE.

But as Epi had told me we were going for a legit massage, I had no doubts that this was just innocent flirtation, and had NO thoughts of possibly getting anything extracurricular.
So about an hour into the massage on my front, it shocked the SHIT out of me when Tan held a finger to her lips, leaned in close, pointed to my dick and started motioning with her hand like a guy jerking off!!! My mouth dropped open quite a bit, and I got REALLY excited here! I was a rube fresh off the plane, to be sure, but her offer honestly shocked me, probably because these rooms were SOOO non-private. There was just some sheet hanging up between my little area and Epi’s next door, and what I found out was the RHINO SLEEPING on the other side. The taboo factor of what was being offered added severely to the thrill.

Of course this wasn’t going to be included in the 400 baht for the massage, and while I figured a small tip was going to be involved, I also figured I had better nail down those details right then and there. And I also thought that MAYBE I could get that pretty little face to blow me instead of the hand job. So I quietly said how much? Tan held up two fingers, and I got INSTANTLY happy. 200 baht? SOLD!!! And I think I actually blurted out 200? Out loud. Her eyes got big, though, and she leaned in close and whispered, no, two THOUSAND. WHOAAAAAA!!! I may be a rookie, but I ain’t STUPID!!! 2000 baht for a handjob?

At that point I said, no, too much, and she quickly backed off and said ok, 1000? And I said MAYBE if she’d ‘smoke’, not yank it (hand gesture). She said no, hand only, and I said no, 1000 too much. Finally she said OK, 1000 total, including the massage fee, which would mean a 600 tip, and while I still thought this was a little much for a handjob, I was REALLY horny, she had gotten me REALLY worked up, and she was REALLY cute, and this was REALLY exciting with all the secrecy going on. So I said SURE, why not, and she turned to go get some lotion and quickly returned with a wicked little grin.

She applied a little lotion and started her rubbing of my joint, and man, oh MAN, it felt good. I tried to think at that point if I had ever really had a hand job from a provider, and I remembered a couple of times when a BJ just wasn’t working and the clock was ticking in a few privados in Monterrey where I ended up finishing that way. But this girl’s touch was EXPERT, and I knew it wasn’t going to take me long to finish. I asked Tan to take off her top, but she just shook her head slightly and held a finger to her mouth to urge quiet, and I limited myself to squeezing her rather nice, full B cup tits through her polo shirt. Within maybe five minutes after she first started I shot a load into her hand, and she kept stroking until well after I was done and I had to actually tell her to STOP as it became overload. WOW! Welcome to Bangkok, Porker!!!

Tan left for a second to clean up, but was back within a minute or two and she had me roll over to finish with my back. I was feeling NO pain at that moment, and actually ended up relaxing so much that I dozed off a couple times. It crossed my mind to ask for them to turn down the A/C as I was REALLY cold by this point, but I figured that Tan would keep me warm, and for the most part, she did.

A little before I figured we were going to be done, I started hearing little muffled noises and giggles coming from Epi’s compartment next door, and of course Tan started giggling a bit when she heard that too, pointing next door and saying ‘your friend!’. I think we ALL knew what was going on in there, and Epi told me later that he did get HIS girl to smoke him. Tan was cuter, though, something to which he readily agreed.

When we were done and after I came back from the shower Tan came in to check on me and I asked her for a quick picture. She was a little surprised I had a camera with me, but said OK, and I got just a bit of that TERRIFIC smile she had, something I’d pretty much DIE to see again right now in the midst of my post-SE Asia trip depression. I gave her the 1,000 baht as promised, and she gave me a very polite kiss on the mouth and headed toward the back (she had worked all night, was due to leave at 9 AM, about the time we ARRIVED) while I finished dressing with the HUGEST shit-eating grin on my face.

Epi burst my bubble a bit when telling me about his BJ, and I started to get a little miffed when I told him about how she had asked me for TWO THOUSAND BAHT TIP for the handjob. And when I started doing the math and comparing what had just happened to what I would have gotten for the money in Angeles (20 hours of anything goes with a total hottie), I started getting a lot less happy. I know it’s like comparing apples to oranges, and such comparisons should be avoided, but as I had just come from AC the day before, such pricing distinctions were fresh in my mind. But then I’d think about Tan’s smile again and the sexiness of her little clandestine propositions and her SOFT tits, and suddenly it didn’t really matter that I thought I’d overpaid anymore. When in Rome, right??? And I resolved to not worry so much about money while I was in Bangkok anymore that day. While I was still on a tight budget, I wsa never going to have a good time obsessing over money.

As I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten, when Epi suggested we get some food around 11 AM as we still had time to kill, it sounded quite good to me, and he quickly headed across to the other side of Sukhumvit for what turned out to be a terrific Thai restaurant on the corner of Soi 5. I had had Thai food in the US maybe 3-4 times in my life, but had always had it ordered for me by someone who knew my tastes, and it had always ended up being some sort of spicy barbecued dish (I LOVE spicy food).

Epi kind of felt me out about what I wanted, but finally had a really friendly waitress (Epi seemed to no everyone there quite well) explain in OK English about some of the dishes, and I ended up with seafood in oyster sauce and some fried rice and some chili sauce on the side to spice things up. And it turned out to be FANTASTIC. Epi made me try some of his soup as well, and it was nothing short of delicious. After nearly two weeks of rather pedestrian stabs at American favorites in Angeles, the food in Thailand was a welcome change.

The restaurant had a nice view of the sidewalk alongside Sukhumvit and the Landmark Hotel across the street, and it seemed to me watching the world go by that there were one HELL of a lot of white people out enjoying this sunny mid-day Sunday. I thought a bit about Monterrey, a city of several million people that I visit a lot that has one of the strongest economies in Mexico, that is a mere three hours south of the border, and where I almost NEVER see a small group of white people go by. Of course I don’t stand guard outside the tourist hotels, either, so maybe it’s just me. But anyway, farangs seemed to outnumber locals in this part of BKK, and I was quite amazed by the sheer volume of the whiteys there.

After a leisurely lunch we headed back the 3-4 blocks to Dynasty Inn, and sure enough, the power was back on. I checked in, dropped my important stuff in the safe deposit box, and headed up to check out my room, which turned out to be right across the hall from Epi’s. Epi had said that there were a number of beer bars open already at that time of day and we agreed to meet up in a few minutes after I had had a chance to unpack a little to go check them out.

I had blindly trusted Epi’s recommendation on staying at Dynasty Inn, and I gotta admit, the place was WAAAAAAY better than my expectations, and an INCREDIBLE value for the price. The location was simply PERFECT, the rooms were dead quiet, the room was of an OK size for the money, looked brand new and GLEAMINGLY clean, particularly the bathroom, it had excellent air conditioning that stayed on when you left the room… I INSTANTLY loved Dynasty Inn.



Heading out, the first place we hit was Melody UK directly across the street from the hotel, and where Epi was a minor celebrity. There were a couple of girls sitting out front, and Epi told me the one with the short hair had a damned nice body and a great attitude. But as I HATED her spiky short hair I immediately just started looking around for others. But on this Sunday there weren’t that many, and the place seemed severely dead. I let Epi know immediately that I didn’t see anything there and that I wanted to move on, and he took the hint and we crossed back to the other side of the street where a couple more beer bars were located.

And I liked the second place, Charming Bar (on Soi 4, a block past Dynasty Inn), a lot better. The place was rather crowded for an early Sunday afternoon, but many of the people taking up seats were available girls, and a couple of them immediately latched on to Epi and myself, and my girl was fairly attractive to me. Well, I should say that her TITS were quite attractive to me! And even after the morning’s hand job, I was still REALLY horny. So after we got the basic questions out of the way, I started interviewing my girl (her name was Mee. Seriously.), and started off by telling her that I was the world’s horniest man, and that I was looking for the world’s horniest girl. And then I got to rather conveniently have her say the line I had always dreamed of hearing in SE Asia: “MEE SO HAWNY!!!” I know Full Metal Jacket had a Vietnamese girl, but I always figured hearing it from a Thai girl would be just as good! And it was!!!

Unfortunately, Mee was a little too much on the lovey dovey and prudish side, and I told her I that I NEEDED a girl that was the BEST at boom boom and smoke in all of Thailand. She told me she only ‘smoke’ if she ‘love’ the guy, and was very honest with me saying that she didn’t want to do it for me, nor did she want to get nailed to the bedpost for two solid hours. She did volunteer to go find a willing participant for me, though, and sure enough, a minute later I was put in the rather awkward position of having a girl I had never seen before telling me ‘I’ll do whatever you want, let’s go’.

And the girl wasn’t UNattractive, but wore a bit too much makeup and probably would have never have been picked out of a lineup by me. She did have a NICE ass, though, and I was REALLY ready to do some serious fornicating, and when she said 1000 baht for two hours short time (plus barfine, I think it was 400, but not positive), I paid the bar, she got her purse, and we were off.

I have no idea what that chick said her name was, and a problem I kept having in Thailand was that I couldn’t for the life of me understand the names they told me or visualize the spelling, making it damned hard to remember if they didn’t write it down. It didn’t really matter to me, though, as it soon became apparent that we would not be engaging in any long term relationship.

After mutual showers, my girl got under the covers with me and started going down on me, and her BJ technique was pretty damned good, but not great. But she kept at it, and as I have mentioned several times here, I was REALLY horny, and after about 10 minutes of head I popped in her mouth. She went to the bathroom to clean up, and when she came out started reaching for her clothes! Uh, not so fast honey… You said two hours!

She quickly got back on the bed, but pointed at my happy dick and said ‘u no power’! I laughed a little bit and hoped she understood when I said “uh, GIMME A MINUTE, WOULD YA!”, and I started rubbing her body a little. I started playing with her pussy a little, and when it smelled clean enough when I snuck a sniff of my fingers, I figured what the hell and went down on her for a bit. She got into it after a minute or so, and pretty soon was bucking on my face and being quite animated. And my better half was waking up again. So I saddled up and put it in.

We fucked in several positions, and my first Thai fuck was a decent one, making all the appropriate noises and movements. And when I fingered her NICE ass a bit in doggie and she didn’t object, I tried to get the point across that I wanted to stick the BIG finger in there, and again, she didn’t object. So I went into my backpack and grabbed some lube and lathered up a bit and sure enough, it slipped right in. For some reason it didn’t give me quite the thrill that doing Airport Girl there had the week before, probably because there was no protest or hightened excitement by my girl, who gave the impression of being quite an experienced 3-holer. Still, how can anybody COMPLAIN about ass-fucking being part of a standard menu? THIS was pretty damned cool!

Until the condom broke. I had already had thoughts that I probably wasn’t going to be able to pop again so soon after popping twice in 4 hours that day, and only 25 minutes previously. And when I looked down to see a big hole in the condom, I really didn’t think continuing was that great of an idea as my horniness had been greatly satisfied, and I was sure to lose my hard-on as I fumbled with another rubber, and sure to be REALLY drained later that night if I tried to extract another load so soon after the last one. So I just yanked the tattered globo off and threw it in the trash and told my girl she was welcome to take off. She headed into the shower while I waited for her to leave so I could shower.

In the immediate afterglow of this session I was severely disappointed, and I am not sure exactly why. But I think it was because I had been so brainwashed by the way things were in Angeles City. Not only would the girls in AC fuck my brains out, but they would convince me that they LOVED IT and ME at the very same time. Finding a good way to get the chick out of my room at a convenient time was the biggest problem I had in AC, and here, this chick was reaching for her pants 2 minutes after I came. And it had cost twice as much, the chick was 5+ years older than my average Filipina and not as attractive. And my first reaction was ‘what’s the big whoop about Bangkok?’

But when I thought about it a little more over a couple of beers at one of the streetside beer bars on Soi 4 a couple doors down from Nana Plaza, I started comparing what I had just gotten to MEXICO, and I had to kick myself a little for being so quick to judge Bangkok. For 1400 baht (exchange rate was a little better than 41-1 during my week in Thailand, so about $34), I had just gotten a solid hour of sex, with a BBBJ-cum-in-her-mouth, followed by some decent DATY, followed by some lively sex in several positions, followed by ANAL by a girl in her mid-20’s with a REALLY nice ass. This helped put things in perspective quite a bit, but I was STILL thinking with AC colored glasses and thinking I could do better. But then AGAIN, I had spent all of 90 seconds with this chick before I headed to my room with her (a la Adelita Bar or the famous alley in TJ), so I wasn’t sure what I exactly EXPECTED from the girl! She was a pro and she gave it a decent effort. If I wanted romance, I probably should have tried a little harder to make a conenction with her beforehand, huh?

Sitting at that beer bar overlooking Soi 4 watching the world go by (Epi hadn’t been in his room and I didn’t have his Thai cell #) as the afternoon dragged on towards early evening was severely relaxing. There were plenty of available girls at this beer bar (not the CLOSEST one to Nana as you headed toward Sukhumvit, but the SECOND one), but I was having a much better time watching the early arriving go go girls headed to work between 5 and 6 PM. And I was absolutely FLOORED at how attractive some of those girls were. I mean BEAUTIFUL faces and jiggling tits that I had no idea that Thai girls had. My mouth was literally dropping open every 5 minutes as a new hottie (or a group of two or three) would pass. A quite older waitress would interrupt my drooling every once in awhile with another cold towel (the Thai version of Air-Con) and nag me to buy her a drink, and I always declined as politely as possible.

But I had finally reached the stage where I wasn’t horny any more, and after about 3 beers my severe fatigue returned so I headed back to the room for an early evening nap. And I ended up sleeping for a precious few hours before Epi rang me (he had gone out to meet a friend) and suggested that after cleaning up that we go check out Nana Plaza about 11:30. Sounded good to me!

I must say that after all the things I had heard about NEP, I thought the place would be BIGGER. And as it was, it was pretty damned huge, and there were probably more working girls per square inch than any place I had ever been in my life. But I was both overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. From reading the reports, I had figured that there would be like 100 bars tucked into NEP and that there would be like 6 floors of a HUGE building the size of a city block or something. As most of you know, it’s not anywhere near that big, but that’s what I had made it out to be. What OVERWHELMED me, though, was the number of girls in each place, which was greater than I had really imagined, and this was on a Sunday night. Oh, and that the name in the front of the bar was a complete afterthought, which meant that since I was following Epi, that I never really knew the name of the place I was in the whole time I was there (or now looking back).

I do know that the first place we walked into (ground floor, on the right as you enter NEP) impressed the hell out of me. There were at least 15 girls onstage, all topless ( a sight for sore eyes after the sea of bikinis in Angeles!), and all seemed to have a bit of boobage to them. I was IMMEDIATELY attracted to Thai girls, and probably would have happily barfined any of the girls onstage.

But Epi advised me that calling a girl off the stage was meant to be the step immediately before a barfine, which intimidated me quite a bit. After my quite detached experience that afternoon, I wanted some face time before my dick made more decisions for me, and this wasn’t the optimal environment for that.

Strike two in my mind was when Epi stopped a girl passing our table with GREAT tits and asked her to have a drink, and she disappeared to take the stage within a minute after the drink arrived. This was a girl I would have broken my meager BANK to barfine, but when she just ran off like that after he had bought her a drink, I wasn’t too impressed with her attitude, and figured I might as well look around a bit before I jump on a princess like that that I saw in the first bar we went to.

The next bar was also on the ground floor and also on the right and also seemed to have a bunch of girls running around topless, but we got pounced on by some aggressive girls first thing through the door, and the one that did all the talking to me was damned annoying. She was rubbing my dick, though, and it felt pretty good, so I volunteered to buy both her and her friend a drink, which the annoying one mistook for me being interested in a future relationship with her, so she proceeded to ask even more annoying questions than the usual dumb bargirl ones.

I made up obvious dumb answers (I’m 63 years old… I’m from Africa… my name’s King… I don’t speak Thai, but I speak Chinese…) hoping she’d shut up so I could talk to her much cuter (but probably still not bar-fineable based solely on looks) friend who was sitting two seats down, but that didn’t work, so I made her get up so I could sit between them.

But this ended up not working out either, as I caught the annoying one feeding my anwers to the friend who didn’t like them anymore than the first girl. I had to interject, though, when she told the other girl that I was staying at Khao San Road (Hey, I read The Beach and Stickman’s site!), that this was just bullshit I made up because I liked her, not her friend, that I was staying at Dynasty. But when the friend’s drink ran out, I wasn’t entertained enough by either of them to re-up, and Epi had reached the same saturation point with his girl so we left. The really sad part about all of this was that this was the most quality time I would spend at a Bangkok go-go during my whirlwind 6 days in Thailand, and I WASTED it by getting bogged down with two LOSER girls that approached me instead of properly checking out the talent. My own fault, but still… I was kicking myself.

As it was approaching 1 AM at this point, we kind of needed to hurry our shopping a little bit if we were going to make a purchase before closing time at 2 AM, and Epi suggested that we go upstairs to a place called Mandarin. And I instantly liked the lineup at Mandarin. There seemed to be hot girls everywhere! But the hottest seemed to be right onstage in front of us. And after a couple minutes when Epi pointed out that the girls weren’t wearing panties and they were dancing on a MIRRORED FLOOR, my eyeballs literally popped out of my head as I craned my neck to get a closer look at that floor and all the pussy it reflected. THIS was cool!!!

A decent looking thin chick with reddish-blonde (it looked blonde in the bar) hair started dancing right in front of me, and she had really nice legs and ass, and as I saw in the mirror, a pretty damned cute pussy as well, and I instantly fell in lust. I called her down from the stage at about the exact same time Epi called over a CUTE young pale-ish dark haired girl.

Again, I have no idea what either of these girls’ names were, as I couldn’t begin to understand what the were saying when they told me. But my blonde girl was pretty damned friendly, rubbing my dick and leaning in close and basically getting me HOT. The subject of a barfine quickly came up, and I think it was 600 there. But as it quickly became apparent that she knew Epi’s girl fairly well, I started asking her if she liked girls, and she said yes, and I asked her if she had a friend that might be fun for the two of us. And she immediately said EPI’S girl, and I looked over and saw her friend smile and just said YES! lord! JESUS!, and completely ignoring whatever plans Epi might have had with this girl (I knew he had a wife already in his room, though!), I started asking how much it would be to take both of them.

My blonde girl took the lead and started yammering away at her friend, and she asked short time or long time. I said it was up to them, but I’d pay 1500 long time to each, 1000 for short time, but they’d have to stay two hours and I was gonna fuck both of them. She said this was OK, long time, but as it seemed too easy, I had to get some clarification, and I said that I was going to take pictures of them together. She thought about this for a second and then said, OK, but if I took pics, then they weren’t going to stay long time. I said I don’t really care, but I’m not paying more than 1000 for short time to each of you. She said fine, and they both headed off to change.

It wasn’t until that point that I really looked at my watch, and it was after 1:30. I kicked myself a little for having agreed to pay 1200 baht for a barfine for them when the bar was closing within a half hour, but otherwise I liked the deal that I had struck. I thought both girls were hot, and the thought of a little photo shoot with them would be pretty hot. Unfortunately, the photo shoot was the highlight of the night.

Epi decided to leave with us and volunteered to walk inside Dynasty with us just in case the people at the front desk decided to try and gig me for a third person, and right as we were about to enter the elevator to go up to the room, I got a good look at the blonde, and I immediately had buyer’s remorse as she looked a good 12 years older than she had in the bar! I had pegged her for mid-20’s, and this chick was obviously at least mid-30’s and wearing a LOT of makeup to hide it, and her hair was a lot more red than blonde. BOTH girls also smelled of stale cigarettes, which is a HUGE turn-off for me, and I kind of closed my eyes and wondered if there was anyway I could just get all my money back and cancel this deal…

My mood perked up when we got into the room, though, as both girls posed for some decent pics while the other showered. I also got a couple of pics of them PRETENDING to make out with each other, but as I had been expecting the real deal, this also left me disappointed. They just pantomimed.

After my shower, I took my place between them, and the redhead (who would forever after be named Dragon Lady because of her much older looks and smell of her breath/clothes) asked for a condom so she could start in on me. I told her I had plenty of condoms, but that I expected a BBBJ to get me up first, and she said OK to that, but went to get a towel from the bathroom first. And when she came back and started sucking, and I was sucking the SUPER firm and ripe tits of the younger dark-haired one, this was turning out to not be so bad after all! While the older chick’s technique wasn’t great, it wasn’t half bad, either, and pretty soon I was quite hard. I asked for the cute one to take over the ‘smoke’, and she did, and the first chick took over playing with my balls and brushing her nails across my starfish (which I let her know IMMEDIATELY was off limits!).

After a couple of minutes the cute one apparently had had enough of ‘smoke’, so the redhead put a condom on me and lubed up and had me get ready to enter her, but I told her no, I want to fuck her friend first. And was VERY excited about that, as I was pretty hot for the younger one. But as soon as I hopped on, the younger one was doing her best to limit penetration with her legs and thighs, which I can’t STAND, and I was wondering what the hell was going on. Meanwhile the older one was playing with my balls from behind, which I actually found more annoying and distracting than pleasurable. I was actually trying to figure out a way to get DRAGON LADY out of there so I could lay the cute one in peace, but didn’t see any easy solution.

Things got a lot worse when screwing the cute one got quite monotonous when she kept fighting me to limit penetration. It hadn’t just been an initial ‘take it slow’ thing like I had hoped, and I was actually deflating from the constant struggle to actually get my dick to pleasure depth.

I called a quick time out to see what the hell was wrong, and the younger one started complaining that I was ‘too big’. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Further inquiry revealed that she had apparently been with a big guy the night before that had her all rutted out, and she said that she had ‘checked me’ in the bar and that I hadn’t seemed very large there. I pointed out to her that I wasn’t particularly large anywhere, but that measuring a limp dick in a bar probably wasn’t the best way of sizing up her task at hand, and that she took money for sex, and that she damned well better give me some sex! She said OK, but that maybe I should fuck her friend instead.

And the friend primed me with a new condom and everything, but 2-3 strokes into doggie with the older one (who was super loose and overlubed. Guess I wasn’t so big after all, huh?), and I pulled out yanked the condom off, and said, uh, NO, baby, you don’t want to fuck, at least suck it some more! And she did, but it soon became clear I wasn’t finishing that way. So I requested that she try fucking me one more time, and she said OK, she’d try.

One more condom, but she had lubed up also, and when she started wincing and saying ‘OW’ after I had only put the tip in, and was pushing me with her thighs as I tried to get in far enough to at least KEEP IT UP, I finally just pulled out and said, uh, THIS isn’t working, and I offered her 500 baht to just get dressed and leave. She happily accepted, but when the blonde got up to get dressed as well, I asked where she was going, and she said she wanted to leave too. FUCK! While I wasn’t that attracted to the older one anymore, I still wanted to at least finish! But as I was sitting there with a limp dick and wasn’t even sure the older one could get me up at that point, much less finish me with that loose-ass box, I figured it would just be much better to just call it a wash and try again tomorrow. I handed each 500 baht as they were dressing and couldn’t WAIT for them to leave.

To say I was a little down on Bangkok at that point would have been a severe understatement.

But I calmed down quite a bit as I headed out to look for something to eat. Over a plate of fried rice at the Nana Hotel restaurant (populated by some VERY scary looking unaccompanied old broads who would shamelessly leer at me the whole time I was there), I told myself that yet again, it was my far too rapid interview/selection that had led to my unfulfilling time, and that I probably came off as an inexperienced rube which is why I had been walked on by a couple of pros. While I hadn’t really expected AC style GFE from go go girls at Nana, I at least had expected professional competence. And I think the older one probably would have been a trooper throughout if the younger cute one hadn’t been such a dud. Oh well, I had a grand sample size of TWO Nana girls, and I knew that it wasn’t too smart to judge the whole place by one bad experience.

But I gotta tell you, for the rest of that night and next morning, I did really miss Angeles!

Don’t worry. Things would definitely pick up. And like so many of the best things in life, Thailand for me would be come an acquired taste.

Photo: Tan, Top Inn 107
Photo: Charming Bar 108
Photos: Mandarin 3some 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 119

Nana girls are probably the worst lays in Thailand but you can find some serious hotties there. That's not to say that there are not great performers or that you can't find GFE at Nana, it's just that your chances are much lower. Another thing about Thailand is that the girls are more concerned with attraction to their customer than in AC. If the girl likes you, you're in for an unreal amount of adulation and pampering...but if she's not, you will get mechanical sex with complaints. Thai girls are actresses too...just like filipinas...only they're not as good at it. ALso, think of your massage experience in these terms...you got a hand job and a real massage from a young Thai hotties vs. $60-100 hand job from an old Korean lady...think about it.

"But Epi advised me that calling a girl off the stage was meant to be the step immediately before a barfine, which intimidated me quite a bit." I would disagree with this. If you call a girl off the stage, that means that you better damn well buy her a lady drink, but by no means does it commit you to barfining her.

In some bars, girls can't be called off the stage, as they've got to finish their dance shift. In those cases, you let them know you're interested, and they will come to you after their set is over. This of course can be overridden by the mamasan should you really have the hots for someone and can't live another minute without her company.

Agree with Blazers. You need to be picky at Nana, but there are a lot of gems there. It's too bad this was your only shot at Nana; you coulda been a contendah.

Looking forward to the rest....

Murasakithetriviamasterwhowasinnowaybribedbyporkerthethief

Porker

I continue to enjoy your report and have been looking forward to seeing your reaction to LOS.

Your experience in the gogos is a lesson for all newbies to LOS, you need to really look closely at your potential hotty before you barfine her. Sometimes the combination of lighting, excitement and usually drink take its toll on ones judgement. You should always take a good look before you commit, as you found out.

I also fully agree with Murasaki, inviting a girl off the floor does not mean you have to barfine her, a lady drink is fine. Indeed you should only then start investigating whether this really is the girl for you once she is by your side.

As for the 2am deadline, you do not have to pick your girl by then as you probably found out later, you have the post 2am Nana parade and then the Grace hotel if you still have not found the right girl and there is no barfine either. Prices tend to be better too. Mind you risk not finding anything here and going home empty handed or with a dogis increased, but that is part of the fun there ... you can take nothing for granted.

Admin: Photos integrated

I've been waiting for the Thai installments, and have enjoyed reading about your AC adventures so far. I agree with the above posters - I've pulled some gems out of Nana and everytime I took someone who didn't live up to my expectations, it was really my fault because I rushed. And by rushing I mean not giving the selection process an extra 10 minutes, not two hours. Funny how everyone looks great under the go-go lighting system. We've all been fooled by that.

I also was asked during a traditional massage session if I wanted a HJ for only 2,000 baht. I laughed it off, she wouldn't back down, then I declined, then was told it was up to me - I could pay any amount. It's all a game. You can't blame them for asking - I'm sure they find a few guys willing to pay - especially the Japanese who are notorious for not being able to negotiate and contribute to rising "ask prices." I'm looking forward to the rest of your story.

Finally getting around to reading all these reports and they are INCREDIBLE!!

Porker - perhaps you misunderstood. You can buy the ladies a drink, just not when they are dancing. You need to wait until after they are off the stage. Once they are off, it's game on!! If you actually call a girl off the stage while she's dancing you're pretty much paying that BF...

E

I also forgot to mention something about the early morning massage girl giving me the BBBJ - I had her pants at 1/2 mast and my dry finger buried in her ass!! Once I realized she was gonna take it like a trooper I tried upgrading to full on ST, but she wouldn't budge for less then B2000. FUCK THAT!! For B500 more I can get an Eden girl LT in my room...

E

I'm not trying to bust your balls here but one of the girls in the Mandarin 3some is a post-op ladyboy. This is the first time I looked at the pics because the internet cafe in Thailand would not let me access the pics. I have talked to this "girl" before and she is very attractive....looks more feminine than the tomboy Isaan girls.

Look at pics 6, 9, and 10...definately a Katoey. She was lubing up because it was a constructed pussy and "she" was not really older, just a lot of plastic sugery. She has also worked at Rainbow I.

It's OK. The other one had enough PMS for BOTH of them.

You CRAZY!

Thank God Porker porked a Katoey before I did!!!
Great reporting, I still haven't read half your reports yet, saving them for the long layovers next week.

Bud

Blazers
You are absolutely right. I remember that "girl " very well from Rainbow I. "She" was very agressive and totally pissed most people off. Always acted like she was the best dancer in BKK. Porker- you must have been really tired from your trip from AC or drunk. Welcome to Thailand !! As I have said - i have been very close to doing some Katoey's and likely indeed have without knowing it !! They are not always obvious as you now appreciate more than most !!!!

You guys are fucking crazy.

Well It doesn't count unless she has a dick

Don't worry Porker you are still a virgin.

Just curious did you fuck every girl you took pictures of ?
Some are decent looking and some are very very ugly they would have to barfine me

I just went back to reply that i didn't mean the girls above but I went though a bunch of your photos and some were outright hideous. What funny is most thats showed faces got a bad rating and the ones that didn't show faces got better ratings

A few of the pics had some pretty decent girls one had big tits and would remind me of TJ
I like Asian girls too and was kinda surprised at your selection.

I will take the time some day and read your report to see if I can answer my own questions or perhaps the beer in Asia is pretty strong

(Message edited by milkman on October 07, 2003)

Milkman, any time you want to post pics of any of the scores of TJ girls (or tranny's?) you MUST have laid by practically living there for several years I'd be happy to see them and rate your treasures. Until then, I'd suggest shutting the hell up and clicking on the ones you DO like and avoiding the others. Sound good?

Porker i will show you in person.

Many guys have seen my treasures either in person or by photos. But again I will show you pics in person as these as real chicas not putas and it is not apropriate to put them on a whore board.

I didn't mean to anger you it was just my opinion.

SOrry Porker, I didn't mean to open up a pandora's Box, If it makes you feel any better, I have been fooled by Katoey's a few times aw well and could care less......they look more womanly than a lot of the tomboy Isaan girls.

Blazers, it would only bug me in the slightest if it were actually true, and I still think you guys are CRAZY.

Milkman, what 'angers' me is people (well, in this case, YOU) popping off about pics when they don't have the balls to post their own. If you don't like them, well, put up or shut up. It's real damned easy to be a critic when you have generated zero credibility as to YOUR taste. I never made any sort of claims about how beautiful or hot every single one of my girls was -- I don't do that, don't need to, don't need other people's affirmation to feel all warm and tingly -- and my preference for tits uber alles is pretty well known. Believe it or not, not everyone prefers the skinny/skanky look.

I didn't pick any of these girls because I wanted to impress any of you. I picked them because they had something that made my dick hard at the right time, and I took the time to share the story and the pics with all of you because I thought you might enjoy them, knowing FULL DAMNED WELL that some of you would probably laugh and say 'Look at the RHINO that Dumbass Porker fucked!'. My skin isn't thin, dude. Fire away. But don't make it a hit and run -- have the balls to show what YOU'RE fucking for all to see. Presuming, of course, that you are fucking at all... Otherwise, as I said before, enjoy the pics that others have generously provided for your entertainment (without reciprocation) and RESIST the urge to do anything that might deter someone that might be more sensitive from posting THEIR pics.

I like your pics.....except for Vicky

Porker, Dick Johnson praised your pics on belly girl and has never criticised any of your pics. I am generally very supportive of other's pics, whether it is Blazers or Mura or KM's looker Da. It is a sensitive issue and people can take it personally. Some people who vote low or criticise pics never go to Asia. Anyway, good job Porker, congrates on winning, I voted for you btw.

Milkman.. well he's just Milkman.. that's why people tease him

-DJ

Porker
Anyone who has been to Thailand more than a few times has almost certainly had some close encounters with Katoey. Some closer than others. I have been fooled more than once. Not sure if I have ever gone all the way with one
but not unlikely.
Not to rub it in but I remember your redhead very well from Rainbow I and I am virtually certain she is not what she claims to be. Never looked under the hood but never wanted to. I have been very turned on by other katoey as I have related in past reports so it is very possible to be totally fooled my friend even with years of experience.This was your first encounter with Thai katoey- an experience totally unique in the world I believe.

BTW I also enjoyed your photos very much and certainly appreciate the effort it took to post the pics and your fantastic report. Do not be put off by the nattering nabobs of negativity --to quote Spiro T Agnew-- may he long live in infamy !!
Some of my favorite past girls have gotten 2s and 3s but in my mind they remain 10s. No accounting for taste !! Plus ya gotta be there to see what you saw in them. None of us can do that. Personality and sex appeal do not photograph well.

Porker - One of the reasons that I really like your report, and your photos, is because they have 100% credibility. You write and post the good with the bad. You tell it how it is, not how you imagined it was. This makes for an entertaining as well as informative report.

I try to write my reports the same way - I document the facts, not inventing a fairy tale.

Keep up the great work.

I agree with wallstreet. I'm glad that most of us post with honesty instead of embelishments (sic). Even if the girl was not a post-op, it makes me feel more comfortable knowing that not one time was this portrayed as negative. So much can happed while mongering, especially so far from home. If doing a katoey (not including milkman) is the worst thing that happens to me, I will consider myself blessed.

As far as negative critisism is concerned, I for one would never appreciate it from someone who's never been there and done that! I know dozens of mongers. None of them look the least bit miserable when I meet them. They are having the times of thier lives. They will brag about a girl that I wouldn't do for free, but the smile on my buddy's face more than makes up for my tastes in HIS women.

Porker, you are a living legend in the eyes of many. Keep up the trips and reports, and thank you so much for the pics. I did a little looking at the pics section. Not one monger on this board has posted 100% hotties that I've seen, of course IMHO. BTW, I have only seen maybe 30% of the pics, so for those of you that only posted a pic or two disregard, maybe. lol

Bud

Get a signed, notarized confession under oath that that's a dude or take pictures (better ones than mine) of the man-made box and then I will believe your judgement over my 2 hour interaction with the WOMAN I took to my room. Otherwise, I repeat, YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING CRAZY!!!

Wallstreet, Bigballs, thanks for the nice words, glad you have enjoyed what I have written and the pics. You guys do a helluva job with your reports in your own right.

Milkman, waiting for you to post those pics of all the pussy you pull in TJ, 'toughguy'.

As far as milkman is concerned, if you ever need a quick and very good BJ in TJ, milky is your man! He did wonders for me in La Tropa!!!

OK, as far as the supposed katoey, can you please table your denials until I get back? I am under enough pressure buddy. I have went as far as checking out every frigging lady boy, katoey, and billy boy sight so I can to try to learn to tell the difference. I am at the point now, that if it happens, so what!!! If she looks good, treats me good, and makes me cum, then fuck it, literally. No, I am not homophobic, but the thought...

Bud

While she was dancing and "shooting the beav" to my buddy Porker her plumbing LOOKED like that which is made in the womb through genetic coding, not "forged" by a doctor in a hospital or clinic. Now, I did not bury my face in that box for an up close and personal interview, however it passed muster from a few feet away. Normally the man-made box does not look authentic from that distance.

As for how she looked - I've seen MANY Thai women that just LOOK LIKE MEN!! Many have strong features that make them LOOK "manish". Wide faces with Maria Shriver-like jawlines do NOT turn me on, but SOMEONE'S fucking them because they still work the bar.

Methinks this is another example of "the sky is falling" syndrome we see in Thailand as it applies to guys spooked by katoeys. Just because she's ugly/annoying/bitchy AND she's in Thailand she's assumed to have a "Y" chromosome. If she were working in the PI we'd all just think she was ugly/annoying/bitchy AND A WOMAN!!

Now, I would not have BFd her because I was not attracted to her - not because I thought she was a man. The "goodies" she was sporting were very x-bar for a genetic female. As I stated I did not get close enough for a sniff/taste test, nor did I pull out my westfargo flashlight and check the box for anything extraordinary.

Next week I volunteer to sit closer to the stage and get a good look at this ugly bitches pussy to see if it indeed is the real McCoy or a "crafted" piece of walking art. I'll even bring a research assistant to help reduce sampling error and add validity to this study. It won't take long and I'll buy it ONE LD and the other lab technician gets a beer. Any volunteers? KM and/or Senator, I could use a wingman on this one!!

Porker

I'll get to the "bottom" of this mystery yet!!

E

I only brought it up in the first place because I asked her if she was a ladyboy when working at RainbowI and she she/he just smiled and gave me a wink. I have seen some constructed pussies at King's Castle III that are damn near exact...sculpted clit and everything. I also think that continual use of lube is another sign. Just look at the pics. From my perspective, so what if it was a katoey....I probably fucked several Katoey's at Supergirl in Pattaya and didn't know it. I'd say it would just reinforce your heterosexuality because Katoey's are usually more feminine that Thai girls. With regards to your pics.....I like them quite a bit. I could care less what the girl looks like in the pic because I know she probably looks ten times better in person. I can attest to the fact that Airport Girl looks much, much, much better in person. I posted some pics of some butt ass ugly looking girls on the trip report I'm doing now....they looked good to me at the time and that's all that matters. I just wish Epi would post pics as I know he has thousands that would blow us away....but he has his reasons. Sorry I missed the pics last time but this trip I want to see them, especially the Kokomo's girl anal scenes.
Cheers

Blazers

You want to see some pics? Hmmm. I'll arrange to send hombre a few "treasures". I've got some pics of girls that make Vicki look like a goddess!! Of course, I've ALSO got pics of girls that are criminally hot. Now they don't photograph well, but i'm hoping a few come in above a 3, eh?

As far a lube - you ever been to Eden Club? Those girls go through at least one tube of lube per ST!! Hell, we actually killed THREE FULL TUBES in room one night with a WICKED LT!! That was good times although I had to keep telling the girls to NOT stick their fingers in my ass!! I have seen pros from NEP grab the bottle of KY liquid I keep by my bed as soon as we begin to play. Girls in TJ will do the same. How many Katoeys do you find in the alley? Hell, even the Korean AMPs here in LA send the girls into your room with 1/2 a tube of KY stuffed in their snatches. Not run into any katoeys there.

Maybe she's a man - personally I don't care. However, to add piece of mind for all with interest I'll get to the bottom of this mystery.

E

PS: Don't have any pics of Kokomos girl taking it in the glory hole, but she did and with GREAT vigor!! You remember how enthusiastic she was in the room when we were all just hanging out? Well, she was even MORE fun when I added Rachel!! Good times...

Korean AMP's and TJ girls use lube due to extremely high volume and they are primadonnas. Eden girls doe it for anal....and I am sure you tried anal with the Eden girls...I'd be curious to see them use it for their pussy...although they are high volume compared to other BKK girls. Never had a NEP girl ask for lube...never had one dry when I started. I did use lotion one time in Pattaya as a girl said the latex was hurting and wanted me to bareback her but I used a condom and lube instead. Would love to see your pics when I see you in AC.

On my March trip to Thailand, I took two girls out of Eden overnight. The first thing that came out of their purses was KY. I told them I had Astroglide, but they said they preferred KY. The two girls went through 2 tubes by the time 6:00am rolled around - and anal is not in Wallstreet's repetoire.

And Na out of Mandarin on my last trip used KY, but only a little bit and it seemed like it was just part of her routine.

Porker

I have no intention of calling anyone names or prolonging this semi-argument.

I am who I am and that's who I am.

Again I apologized for my statement but am not retracting it. There are people out there that do not like my posts and reponses and thats fine as we all have own opinions and tastes.

You seem to think that I am lying or making stuff up ? - Never

Again I have pics of course I do not have hundreds of pics but do have a handfull of chicas that I have met in TJ and will be happy to share them in person. That goes for Blazers , Bigballs and anyone else whose opinion you value. It does not make sense to put real girls pictures up that I may run into again.

I get off doing what I do best chasing women in TJ. Sometimes I win sometimes I lose either way I have fun. My reason for not choosing to go after bar girls is simple I cannot get off knowing the girl or katooey is only after my money. I want her to like me for my looks and charm -lol

If you want to make fun of that fine but that's Milkman.

You want to doubt me or any of my posts ? I will put money were my mouth is, god knows everything else has been put in there.

I like to make people laugh and like to show them a good time. i have met plenty of women at clubs and have lots of people that can back that up.

I am not an angry person and know people have there own opinions. You do not have to like me but do not discredit me as I can back anything I say up.

I am not perfect and do not claim to be. Like Chiquito says - If I were judgemental I wouldn't have friends like you.

I will be happy to meet you in person and show these pictures to you. People from this thread have met me before and know i am not full of it.

Let me know if you want to see them in person if not let it go.

Milkman

This thread is funny. Porker, if we ever meet in Thailand sometime, let Dick give you the inside scoop. Ladyboys can fool you, they're good at it. Esp. if it's your 1st time. They can be really pretty, they can have their adams apple shaven, they can sound feminine. But don't worry, no one here condemns that if it is an accident(and some won't even if it's not). Many have had the same experience. WS, Blaz, Epi, BB etc all have their points.

As to that bastard Milkman, he is an integral part of this site and has been here for ages. Sometimes he says the wrong things but generally he tries to make the site interesting, funny and make people get along. If getting thrown on stage and being stripped naked and getting your johnson polished by chica' pussy is not your thing I would recommend you guys be careful of this guy.

-DJ

Epi, be sure to give my love to her bitchy friend too!

Milkman, it's no fun picking on you if you're going to get so defensive. I think I made my point that it's not real cool to criticize other people's pics they post for your amusement when you never post any yourself. And spare me the 'real' girls vs. 'cumbuckets' stuff, OK?

Hey Porker, have you come to accept the fact that you have banged a post-op ladyboy a few times?

cheers,
-DJ

I have accepted the fact that all that think that was a guy are crazy.

Porker

You will be pleased to know that when Epi and I went to mandarin this trip we asked your Dragon ladies co-workers about her equipment. We were told that indeed she is a pooying -- a very agressive one but a pooying none the less. I humbly apologize for contributing to your torment !!!!

Kaw Thot Mak na ja

Khun_mor, glad you cleared YOUR conscience about it, but I never had any doubts. It wasn't just my judgment from that night but Epi's and Epi has been around enough to tell and be suspicious if there any even SLIGHT warning signals of any male vestiges.

You mongers are too funny! Porker-- are you still oing to be in AC welcoming in the new year? I'm having a bitch of a time finding a flight from the east coast...

Don_Marco, yes, the plan is for Thailand for xmas and Angeles for new year's. And flights will almost certainly be expensive. If the cheap seats on China Air are sold out, you're probably SOL and will have to pay DOUBLE. Good luck getting a ticket.