I decided I needed to get back to the basics – and do exactly what I did on my last trip. The skies were once again postcard blue – I mean a perfect day for outdoor activity. I had George’s cell phone number upstairs (from golfasian.com) and I decided to give him a call to see where I could play 18 holes today. He picked up on the first ring (me calling from the hotel phone – I could still not get Nat’s old phone to work and now I probably never would) and he remembered me right off. I told him I wanted to play today and tomorrow and that my first choice would be the Thai Country Club (“TCC”). He said he’s call back within 15 minutes with all the details. Not five minutes goes by and he says I have an 11:00am tee-off time both days at the TCC and that he would pick me up at 9:45. I went upstairs and packed a small bag – thankfully I brought a couple of golf shirts but left everything else at home. Went downstairs and George was right on time as per usual. Just a little background on www.golfasian.com They’ve been in business 7 years now and book everything from full trips, including air/hotel/transportation to just booking tee times. George is a real nice guy from Austria who owns the company, married a Thai lady and they just had their first child. During the offseason (April to September) George does some of the driving in the Bangkok area, the rest of the year he hires many drivers throughout Thailand. He said this past season was by far the busiest, and several times he had problems arranging enough transportation.
I played the TCC on the last trip. Once you play there, you are ruined for any other course. The greens are immaculate, the course challenging and the clubhouse is like a 5-star hotel. Tiger Woods won a PGA Tournament in 1997, VJ Singh won it the next year. They both have permanent lockers in the clubhouse. My locker on this trip was #66, right next to Gary Player’s #65.
There are three ways to get on to this course:
1. Be a member or a member’s guest;
2. Stay at the Peninsula Hotel, right next to the course
3. Book the tee time through golfasian.com
George has a special arrangement for his guests and throws enough business to the TCC to make it worthwhile for all parties involved. The only limitation is you can only play Monday through Friday – it’s strictly Members Only on the weekends.
The course is usually empty during the week, partly because of its location which is halfway between Bangkok and Pattaya, so you have to count on an hour each way at least. On the last trip, it took three hours to get back to the Omni one evening in the rain.
Traffic was on the heavy side getting there, and in the car George was trying to get my cell phone to work. It appeared that the phone had been programmed to “divert” all calls to voicemail, but it wouldn’t let me “undivert” the calls and it wouldn’t let me set up my voice mailbox. I had Nat’s old code (007- very inventive) but that was doing me no good. The SIM card was an AIS brand card which George said he had the best luck with over the years – he suggested that I bring the phone to a “help” kiosk in any mall and he was sure they could get it to work.
We arrived a little after the 11:00am tee-time, but the receptionist said there was no problem and I didn’t have to join a foursome – the course was empty.
I rented shoes and clubs, bought balls and tees all for about $30, then changed and went downstairs to meet my caddie at the cart. George’s fee was 5,500 baht, which included everything else. The TCC is the 2nd most expensive course in Thailand, the most expensive being Blue Canyon in Phuket.
What a pleasant way to spend the afternoon. There are rest kiosks every three holes where they give you these heavy ice-cold towels and you can purchase beverages and/or snacks at very reasonable prices. Cans of soda are 35 baht, beer is 80 baht and they have cake and great dim sum.
I played a decent round considering I hadn’t played or even been to the driving range since July 4th weekend in Costa Rica. I headed up to the clubhouse to take a shower before having a drink at the bar. When I walked into the locker room, three attendants followed me, opened my locker and spread my clean wardrobe out on the bench. So now I’m ready to get undressed and hit the showers, but these guys aren’t leaving. So I start to get undressed, and as I take off my sweat-soaked shirt, one of the attendants takes it out of my hand and puts it in a plastic bag. He does the same with the rest of my garments and another one hands me a towel so I can finally take my shower. I have a great shower in the seven, yes seven-head granite shower stall that’s like a room unto itself. This thing is huge. I head back towards the locker and this time there’s only one attendant to help me get dressed. These guys take customer service to the next level.
I head over to the clubhouse bar and order an iced tea. 10 minutes later George is there saying everything’s been loaded into the car and we can leave anytime I’m ready.
The trip back to the SLP is uneventful and I confirm with George that I’ll play the TCC again on Friday. As we go down Soi 16, he asks if I’ve tried Kuppa, the restaurant adjacent to the SLP? I tell him no and he says he eats there at least once a month with his wife, that the menu is all over the place, but he’s always had a great meal. He kept going on and on about the desserts. Something to check out.
It’s now 4:30pm and I decide to do what I should have done right when I got here on Sunday – hit a nice beauty salon and get the full treatment. 20 yards up Soi 16 from the SLP is a nice looking salon called ARENA (160 Soi 16) and I step inside. There are three very attractive ladies – a 7,an 8 and a 9, the 9 being the owner. She asks what I’d like done and I tell her everything – which pleases her to no end. Now you’ll learn a little about Wallstreet’s vain side. I’m in my late 30s and I’m getting a few gray hairs. About every 4-6 weeks I go to Elizabeth Arden on 5th and 53rd and get what’s called a single process coloring – it’s not a dye job, it basically “stains” the gray hair and eventually the “staining” washes out. This works if 25% or less of your total hair is gray (otherwise you have to dye it, which is an entirely different deal). I had noticed that this salon advertised in the window that they did single process coloring, so that’s what I asked for. The owner said no problem and sat me down in a chair. Over the next 2 hours, I got the single process coloring, hair trim, shave, facial, manicure, pedicure and foot massage. Total bill: 2,000 baht. Considering that the single process coloring at Elizabeth Arden is $120 alone, I’d say ARENA is a real bargain. I felt like a new man leaving the salon. And just to guild the lily, I went two doors down and got a terrific 2-hour massage from Jai at Sans Pareil.
It was now almost 9:00pm as I entered the SLP suite to change and get ready to find another girl. After changing I went downstairs and had them get me a cab – 10 minutes later I was at nexus of hedonism, the entryway to Nana Plaza. I felt like a kid who just successfully sued his parents for several years’ back allowance money and was looking into a huge candy store. I could have whatever I wanted.
I really had no plan so I went up the right side escalator and was dragged into Mandarin. Now, at first I hesitated because I had taken a few girls out of Mandarin the last time and had myself of couple of foursomes. Having three girls in bed at one time is something everyone should try once (or in my case twice) but it gets a little tiresome after a while. The shear logistics of doing the nasty with three different girls at once is quite taxing. I wanted to try a new girl and I knew that these bar girls had great memories. Well, maybe they don’t work at Mandarin anymore.
I took a seat and ordered a beer. The talent was decent, but not as good as in March. I mulled over my choices and eventually called one girl over. We shared a drink and I started the interview. She spoke decent English but I wasn’t 100% sure of the vibe I was getting. Then out of nowhere comes Gwan who was one of the girls I barfined on the last trip. Unfortunately, she just didn’t do it for me in the looks department, but she had a really great attitude and would do anything for me – so of course I felt like a piece of crap seeing that she was expecting me to barfine her, knowing that I wasn’t going to. Then Na came over, she was another one of the girls from the last trip. Well, she just pushed the original girl I was talking to out of the way and started rubbing me all over. I bought them both drinks and said I really only wanted to take one girl out, I was too tired for multiple partners. I saw the look of disappointment on Gwan’s face, but I’m the client and I want what I want. She goes off to dance and Na is still holding on to me. I decide to barfine her and just get out of there. She changes quickly and 5 minutes later we’re headed down the stairs. She asks me what I want to do and I tell her I want to eat. So she says “Same restaurant as last time?” meaning Ratchada – now I know I made the right choice. We walk towards the Soi to get a cab and a couple of street kids – like 5 or 6 years old are trying to sell me whatever it is they sell. I keep a bunch of 20 baht bills in my pocket for just such occasions. I reach in and pull out 2 twenties, one for each kid. The next thing I know I’m surrounded by 8 of these kids who are holding on to my arms and legs asking for money. Na starts yelling at them, but they won’t let go. A vendor comes over and yells at the kids and starts pulling them off – this probably only lasted 30 seconds but it seemed like a lifetime. Now when it comes to people asking for money in New York, with very few exceptions I give out nothing. I see these people as lazy dregs of society who could find something to do but don’t want to work. The NY Times just did a big story on these 18-25 year olds begging on corners while talking to their friends on a cell phone; they “choose” this lifestyle and summer in New York and winter in California. These people elicit zero compassion from me. But kids are different. That a five year old is even near the bar scene at that time of night is just not right. Anyway, it really got to me – especially that I was with a rent-a-date off to a restaurant they’d only see from the outside.
Photos: Na 2 Na 3 Na 4
Na was very affectionate on the ride over and we made great time to the restaurant. 30 minutes later I was being fed lobster by a girl I’d be fucking in a couple of hours. This is why I came to Bangkok. Made me feel stupid for putting up with Nat’s crap the last couple of days. For those of you who don’t know, Ratchada is a seafood restaurant that is actually a huge complex. It’s located across the street from the Hollywood Disco and just down the road from the Carrefour Shopping Center. It probably seats 1,000 and they get a lot of bus tours. The seafood is very fresh and the prices are reasonable and downright cheap as compared to New York. Dinner for two was under 2,000 baht, but I ordered enough food for about 5 people (plus drinks). They have private Karaoke booths, which I’ve wanted to try, if only because they are private and air-conditioned – while all the other seats are outside under tenting and sometimes the heat and humidity become an issue.
We catch a cab back to the SLP and we make our way up to the suite. Na is impressed with the layout and jumps right in the shower. I follow her in and we get right down to business. Finally it looks like I’m back on track.
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. Just letting you clarify it to all. I know she looks good, but you're saying she looks better in person... might take you up on that offer
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