From my trips to Rio (up to 4 now), this is what I have observed and learned:

-Listen to Sandman and take Echinacea and Vitamin C a week before you leave, and during your trip. Whether it is a placebo effect or not, it tends to work.

-Consider bringing a couple of extra sets of sheets for the bed and maybe a blow up mattress in a separate checked bag. It’s worth the hassle because you can come across bad bed situations in apartments.

-Cash vs. Credit: Using your credit card instead of paying with cash usually costs you about R$.10 when the credit card company converts it. It's no big deal when you consider that is about 3 cents, but just be aware of the difference. Some termas charge an extra R$10 if you are paying by credit card, and Luomo just instituted a policy where you have to pay the girl's part in cash. If using cash, your bank will typically charge you $2 - $4 per withdrawal.

-Take the time to go to Christo. Most cab drivers will take you up there and wait for you for R$60 - R$80. It costs R$5 per person to get in.

-Never do a girl in a terma twice in a row unless you understand that after that point, every time you come in you will be considered her property by her and the other girls, especially in the smaller termas. I didn't mind this one so much, but just be aware of it.

-When you are paying at 4X4 and the girls ask you to round up your amount for a "tip" for them, tell them to eat shit in a nice way. Since when do you have to tip someone for them taking your money? This is the only place that I have witnessed them try to do this though.

-Get a cell phone after a couple of days, especially if you are meeting and making new friends. It works out to about $5 or less a day and you will want to keep in touch if you like to hang out. Calling home from a cell phone is relatively inexpensive and very convenient. There is nothing like calling your friends back home while you are lying on the beach looking at a beautifully round Brasilada ass in a thong.

-Apt vs. Hotel: I have been in Rio for 28 nights total, and I have only stayed in a hotel one of them. If you don't like sleeping alone, hotels can get expensive when you start adding up R$50 a night for a girl. You also have to pay for a double room. Most apartments give you plenty of towels and you can arrange for a maid to come in every couple of days for around R$15 - R$25 in most cases. There are some nice hotels to stay at though, so it is just personal preference. I personally don't like the idea of the walk of shame to the front desk to register the girl. From what I have seen, the girls don't like it either and if given a choice, always prefer the apartment route. They get embarrassed too. Besides, they figure that the R$50 you are paying to get them in a hotel is coming right out of their pocket.

-Guide vs. No-Guide: I'm not saying another word. Email me.

- Internet Places: I used the one on Rua Xavier da Silveira on my first trip. However, I used the one on Rua Miguel Lemos my last few trips and I like it better. It tends to be less crowded and you can get out of there quicker. I have waited at the one on Xavier for 5 minutes or more trying to pay.

-The kilo restaurants are great. It's all you can eat basically, but you only pay for what you eat. Because of that, there is a disincentive to pig out at the buffet. If we had these in the US, maybe we wouldn't have so many lard asses.

-Ipanema is a much nicer area than Copacabana. Eventually I will stay there.

-Laptop: I've taken my laptop both times to play music, but I will probably leave it at home for my next trip. I didn't use it all that much, especially when I came across Direct TV in my other apartment. Besides, I got tired of carrying it around in the airports and having security people grope it and turn it on and off.

-Digital Camera: A must for scenery and for beautiful women. You will kick yourself in the ass when you get home if you don't have a photo of those beautiful asses you were banging on your trip.

-When with a Brasilada, the locals won't try to rip you off. Whether it was in restaurants or the beach, I found this to be true. If you are with a feisty one like I was, she will rip them a new one if they try.

-Bring your own condoms. I've had a Brazilian one break on me before, as have many.

-Rio Sul is worth the trip, whether alone or with a date. If alone, you need to speak Portuguese though to carry on a conversation and be successful, I just walked around and gawked.

-Most terma girls will fuck you as you have never been fucked in the States. They have a reputation to maintain (that sounds funny) and they know that word will get around if they are terrible.

-Every one of these girls on the programma have a sad story, so watch yourself. Some of the really sweet ones will never ask you for money though.

-Never give the beggars money. It only encourages more begging and harassment when they are successful. That may sound harsh, but beggars also attract an element of crime and that puts us all in danger because of your bleeding heart.

-You have never seen a look of disappointment in your life until you see the look on some of these girl's faces when you tell them that you can't cum.

-The block by Alcazar and Debret can be a little dicey after Alcazar closes around 3:00 AM. However, in the outside area of Alcazar, there are guys that sit outside in the dark until around 4:00 AM waiting to escort the owner outside. I say dicey because I know of one hombre that got mugged as he approached between Alcazar and the tables outside walking from Help. Basically, two guys came up to him, one grabbed his girl, and one grabbed him and said, “Give me your money”, perfectly. They knew what they were doing. Alcazar had closed though and no one was sitting outside. I personally have never had a problem though.

-If you can dance, you will be popular in Help as long as you don't look like a goon.

-Always tip Sylvia at 4X4. She is a sweet lady.

-Never use the taxis outside of Help. Always walk out onto Avenue Atlantica and flag one down off the street.

-Don, Karl, Rich, and Bobby are cool guys that will help you out whenever you need them.

-This website is 99% good guys. I have actually only met one prick off here. Most of the guys you meet in Rio will be very cool though.

-From my experience, the Brazilian people are very nice. I am always respectful because I am in their country after all.

-No one person knows it all, so never let anyone intimidate you on this website or anywhere. It is true that some know more and have been more places than others, but they had to start somewhere too. Take their advice and use your common sense and you will be fine. There are new guys going to Rio all of the time, so don't let yourself feel stupid just because you don't know everything about the game. I have met guys down there that were on their fourth or fifth trip and still didn't know what a kilo restaurant was or where Blockbuster was located. Experience is the best teacher.

-Meia Petaca might have been a cool place once, but I avoid it. I just haven't seen a lot of appealing things in and around that place when I've been there, but I also walk by looking straight ahead. Then again, I don't like pulling strangers out of Help either. To each his own.

-When applying for the Brazilian Visa, if you have to send it off in the mail as I did, just put on there that you are traveling there soon on vacation for a week, but you will be returning in 6 months or so. I put that on there just in case. I didn't have a problem getting a 5-year visa. You will need to show a ticket though, unless you are in the airline industry.

Finally, there are some con artists and if you look like an easy mark, they will scam you if you let them. Some of these girls make more money than you think, and if you converted their earnings into USD, they would be doing well even in the US. It’s Darwinism at its best. They prey on the weak hoping to pair up with the strong before their looks fade. If you let them know up front that you aren’t a sucker, they will drop the con or drop you……… either way, you win.

That being said, in my experience, most are very loving and sweet (especially the terma girls) and are just doing what they have to do to survive and get out of poverty. Be nice and you will be treated well.

Good points. Thanks

Moondog

Aldaron; This has been a very long report with lot's of good humor and a ton of real important information, and I just want to say thank you for taking the time and effort to put something like this together.

You guys are too kind. It is hard to put yourself out here like this for anybody to read. I'm not exactly anonymous anymore. I really appreciate the comments.

While I don't know who you are, I understand what you mean about non-anonymity.

That makes it even nicer that you've laid all this out for us, even knowing that you were going to get a full ration of shit back in return from all the wags who are crying "I told you so!"

A good buddy of mine once said, "I have to learn from the mistakes of others -- I don't have time to make them all myself."

Even if your trip was one heinous error after another (which I don't think it was) it was valuable to all of us who've never been there simply because we've gotten such a good illustration of the mistakes and their consequences.

I was amazed to read, in this section, that Blockbuster was an underutilized resource. I assume this is because they have an ATM inside? Regardless, this kind of useful trivia doesn't come out in the reports of Hombres who write "I went down to Rio and nailed 22 girls. Here's video of one of them blowing me."

A truly thoughtful, well-written, NICE report.

Thank you.

>>>This website is 99% good guys. I have actually only met one prick off here.

Hey! I'm right here reading this, you know!

;-)

Thanks for a great report!

Abraco,

1% BS

(Message edited by badseed on October 10, 2003)

Gnomes, the Citibank(I believe) ATM is next door to Blockbuster. Everyone always says they are going to Blockbuster though. There are several others around that are on the Cirrus and Visa Plus system, but this particular one has NEVER let me down. Every single one of the other ones I have tried to use have had something wrong with them at some time or another.


Badseed, it's not you, but if you want a hint, he's in the huge "To hire a guide or not in Rio thread from a month ago. A total hypocritical prick.....

One I forgot above:

Don't ever, ever use Nobelcom.com to buy a phone card. They suck ass and you can't even carry on a conversation to a cell phone in Brazil. I had used AT&T phone cards before and they were fine, so I know the problem is with Nobelcom. Of course, they offer no refunds either even if you have only used 2 minutes on a 100 minute card.

I'm cutting over to the Sprint Global Plan, with the American Airlines tie-in its $4.95 a month, .07 per minute domestic, .25 a minute to Brasil. Sounds reasonable to me, in lieu of using the cards and 10-? numbers.

But is it .25 a minute to a cell phone in Brazil? That is the catch. They never advertise their cell phone rates and they are always more. An example: An AT&T prepaid phone card of 120 minutes advertises at .07 a minute. However, when you call and ask how many minutes you will get with that card calling to Brazil to a cell phone, they say it is a 6 to 1 ratio... meaning your 120 minutes turns into 20 minutes for the $10 phone card. That is .50 per minute. However, as you go up in minutes on those prepaid cards, the per minute rates gets better. You can get one of those AT&T prepaid 1000 minute cards for around $49 on the Wal-mart website. After the 6 to 1 ratio, that gives you 167 minutes and brings the per minute cost down to .29.... comparable to that piece of shit Nobelcom card.... and you can actually talk to the person. The At&T cards never expire either. The Nobelcom ones expire after 3 months.

There are probably better deals if you want to change your home phone service, etc. but I don't want to go through all of that and I like the flexibility of carrying a calling card anyway.

Across 15 plus trips, I've done both types of trips. Posting big numbers trips and relatively monogamous trips. Big numbers trips are sexual feasts and are free of drama and histrionics. Monogamous trips are much cheaper but have less sex (in terms of quantity) and are high on drama, emotions and storyline. I've bounced between the two as each has its pluses and minuses or good and bad points from various perspectives. Over time, the other type of trip starts looking like more fun. I've found myself going to the other type of trip in mid-trip, as well.

Next month, if all goes to plan, I will do a combo trip - monogomy at night, termas in the afternoon. I figure I can make that last for at least 1 day before one or the other goes by the wayside.

I always go the monogamy route...I never stick my dick in more than one garota at a time. I just happen to prefer short-term serial monogamy.

But, if you had two dicks would ya...he he he.

How about duplas....?

Except for a planned Vips birthday bash festa in Dec......I may try the monogamy route for a few days...OMG...Sandman said that??? I am sure I will fall off the log or be coaxed by better thinking buddies into making a terma run or two...or happen into a cutie outside or inside of Help...boy, I really sound committed to this plan huh???


Sandman whoenvieshisbuddybwanaforbeingsostrong

Short-term monogamy, sometimes with helicopters flying by.... right Bwanna?

Cat... that basically has been my plan ever since week two of my first trip, only I got sidetracked halfway through this one and ended up having a short-term wife. She is still my favorita, but that is one crazy bitch sometimes. It is so tempting to add one more addendum to this report....

I anticipate having a complete soap-opera breakdown situation at some point in my November trip and will actually be a little disappointed if one doesn't transpire. I guess I'm just a troublemaker at heart

Sandman,
Duplas are just a variant of short-term serial monogamy. I subscribe to the Clinton definition of sex (involves sticking your dick somewhere), so by definition, since a dick can only be one place at a time, I'm always monogamous.


Aldaron,
Yes, there's nothing like banging a garota from behind while the federal police watch from their hovering helicopter. And it was a pure, monogamous relationship...for about 15 minutes.

Bwanawhosedikwishesitcouldcometorioforthedecemberfesta!!!

Bwana,
Ok, your definition of monogamy is just another reason I wrote you in on my CA recall ballot.
CG

Aldaron,

Add the addendum!

Add the addendum!

Spit it out, man! You know you want to!

Dem Rabble-Rousing Gnomes

I'll have to give it some more thought. I don't know how I can write this one without getting too personal. I was pissed when it was happening 2 weekends ago, but after a little time passed, I can't help but laugh at it now. That girl can be a handful. For some of you guys that I have given a general overview of how it played out, you don't know the half of it. That incident at the end was one for the Hombre Hall of Fame.

Aw...go ahead Aldaron...Enquiring minds want to know;

Bwana...I agree. Always monogamous Sandman....errr...right! Until the next beautiful garota walks by and knocks me off my feet...he he

Come-on buddy. Ya gotta make it for the Dec. birthday bash. Special invitation extended on a silver platter...You get your first choice of garotas after the birthday boy finishes his first half hour....LOL!...if he lasts that long...he he!

Exactly when is this planned for in December?

e-mail me off line for details

Aldaron, I've just finished your gripping drama (took me a few days, I like suspense). Thanks for taking the time to share your intimate experiences and reflections, and all the interesting and useful info you conveyed. Have you considered a writing career?

I hope to run into you when I'm there, Thanksgiving through late Dec., you feel like an old friend.

HunterMan

Yes, I am trying to think of something to write about for a writing career... from Rio of course. I could take my laptop into Luomo whenever I get writer's block and get refreshed. Soon, I would be taping away again.

Awsome report...I can relate!

Cali

CG,
I appreciate your support, and if elected...oh, I guess I didn't win. Think we can talk the Govinator into a Rio Terma tour with us?

Aldaron,

As everyone else has stated - great report. I am leaving for Brazil next Tuesday for the first time and was interested in obtaining some additional info on renting an apartment. Any info will help.

Blue

I'll email you

any info on Ipanema for about 8 days would be great.

I don't know a lot about staying in Ipanema. You can check this site: http://ipanema.com/ Check the other links I sent you also in your email. Those guys may have some places in Ipanema, but I'm not sure.

If it is you first time, you need to study Bwana_dik and GCL's guides to Rio. They are on this site and full of information to help you get around. Other than that, follow those points I made above. Some of them I had to learn or watch others learn the hard way. You can't really have a bad time down there.

blue- i stayed in ipanema for 10 days -there is the arpoador inn arpoador@unisys.com.br
i stayed there for 10 days small but decent rooms- for 40$ a nite for non oceanview rooms and the ipanema inn- a sister hotel arpoador@unisys.com.br
ipanema is nicer than copa--i plan on submitting my very short trip report in 2-3 weeks

Aldaron, you're a good man. You've got heart.
Great report, thanks for sharing.

blame it on rio can book a hotel for you in ipanema. It is so close to copa but just so much nicer. After doing what we do it is nice to wake up in a place that is refreshing. One thing I know is Copa is not refreshing. But if you like to hang with pros in the day you might feel uncomfortable.They will too. Ipanema is pretentious. I have had two girls that were the 10's that could pass as non-pros. The regular girls in Ipaema are much hotter than any terma girl or club girl. Just go and you will see. I do not recommend Arpoador inn because it is just on the border of copa and too far of a walk to the nice places in Inpanema. Bobby from blame it on rio will hook you up.

Theres a third option. I just learned this trip from local carioca friends that there are really nice aparthotels with maid service in Gloria area for less than you pay to Bobby, David, Kenn et al for cramped apartments in Copa. I think I will try next time. Im kinda burned out on Copa, and the first two nights there are almost impossbile to get any sleep until you get immune to the cab drivers honking all night, and the assorted street noises.

There are termas near Gloria too, as well as nice love motels, like HOtel Diamond (also a new discovery this trip).

RE: Bobby from BIOR, he has a really lax attitude about responding to emails, and upkeep on his apartments. Not how I like to do business.