Woke up early and walked down Beach Road (Walking Street) at 8 a.m., looking for a place to eat. Pretty much everything was closed...but I though to myself, "This place must be bumping at night!" The looks, the smell, the atmosphere of it all...it's just like New Orleans during the day (and even wilder at night, as I was soon to find out).

Ended up back at the Penthouse Hotel at 9 a.m. for their 99 baht buffet breakfast. Not a great selection of food items, but the fried rice was excellent! I think of all the Thai foods I've eaten, their fried rice is most excellent. I also ate food that wasn't warmed or covered, and drank orange juice (tastes like Tang) from a glass with ice...who knows where the water for that ice came from? I ended up with a mild case of the runs for most of my trip. But, hey, I also had packed some Cipro with me. No problem! (Or, is it "mai pen rai")

Decided to rent a motorbike for 150 baht per day, and what a thrill it was! Dodging traffic and pedestrians, and white-lining between automobiles, while literally following NO rules of the road was the second-greatest thrill for me in Pattaya. Riding a motorbike in Thailand is exactly like trying to maneuver one during a motorcross race – it's really a matter of getting out in front of everybody and away from traffic before you can feel reasonably safe.

I gotta say something for Thailand drivers, though. They may be the craziest, but I seriously think they're also the best drivers. For one thing, they signal with their blinkers before cutting somebody off. And, if there's an accident on the road, Thai drivers don't rubberneck to check it out (which would result in worse traffic). Traffic flows the same, whether or not there is an accident. And Thai drivers don't cuss at other drivers; there is no road rage in Thailand. Somebody cuts you off, then hey...mai pen rai!

After renting the motorbike, I decided to get fitted for a custom suit by a guy named Jony (pronounced like Johnny) at a shop called Hi-Fi Collections Masschneiderei, on Beach Road. I ended up paying 6000 baht for what would eventually be a "Versace" Italian silk pin-striped suit which included the jacket, pants, and two shirts.

Drove to Soi Post Office and parked the motorbike. I decided to get a traditional Thai massage, and ended up paying 350 baht by a pretty 22 year old named Loong. I was expecting a deep tissue massage, but what I got was something lame and soft. There was no strength in Loong's hands at all, and the massage left me feeling less than satisfied. Nevertheless, I gave her a 150 baht tip, and continued on my way.

Time now was about 2 p.m. Walked up the road to Golden Girl Bar, which is a blow job bar. Sure enough, as soon as I sit down and order a Diet Coke (or, Coke Light, as it's referred to in Thailand), a butt-ugly woman comes up to me and starts caressing my legs, and brushed over my balls a few times. Then she starts to massage me, and invites me to go upstairs with her. I figured, "What the hell, why not?" She may be ugly, but she had a decent body. She looked to be fairly old, in her mid-30's.

We walked upstairs, and she sat me down on one side of a long, zig-zag countertop that was open underneath. We were the only ones upstairs at that time. She pulled out a stool to sit on, a box of tissue paper, and a small trash can (I didn't know until later what that trash can was for). She sat under the countertop, pulled down my shorts, and started sucking on my bare cock.

Just then, another woman walked in with her customer, and sat to the left of me. The way the bar is built as a zig-zag, this dude was seated actually slightly behind me. So I started to feel uncomfortable knowing that I was in some other guy's field of view as I was getting my cock sucked. Then, other women started to come in, and just mosey around the area – either doing something on the computer, or just sitting down and reading a book. This actually made me feel a little more uncomfortable. Consequently, I had a hard time enjoying the blowjob.

After about 20 minutes of non-stop sucking (except to occasionally wipe my cock with tissue paper), I started to feel sorry for this poor woman who was working so hard to earn her measly 350 baht (that's less than ten dollars!). After all, giving head must be a much more difficult job than having sex, don't you think? So I concentrated hard on ignoring all the distractions around me, and to focus on my cum welling up inside me as she sucked and stroked my hard cock.

Ten minutes later, after feeling my orgasm come and go for several times, I finally blew my load. And not once did she remove my cock from her mouth as I erupted in total pleasure. She took all my cum in her mouth, and made sure to squeeze out every last drop before finally taking my semi-hard cock out of her mouth, and spitting my cum out in the trashcan (THAT'S what the trashcan was for!). Then, she sucked my cock a little more, and then cleaned it off with a wet towel.

The cost was 350 baht, so I gave her a 500 baht bill and let her keep the change. Ugly woman. GREAT blowjob! I regret to say, however, that this was my only visit to a blowjob bar throughout my entire stay in Thailand.

Photo: UG BJ Bar Girl 01

Later, I ate an early dinner at one of several outdoor courts overlooking the harbor. I ordered a steak and ocean prawns. I must say, the food was LOUSY. Thais don't know how to cook steak...and their food service skills are lousy. It took them 15 minutes to deliver my steak (I ordered rare, but got medium-well instead). Then another 15 minutes to deliver my prawns – but I ordered ocean prawns and got shrimp cocktail instead. So it took yet another 15 minutes to get my ocean prawns to me. I think the Thai philosophy of "mai pen rai" (which means something like, "Never mind. No problem") has affected their motivation to excel. After all, what's the incentive of doing things right the first time, if you know there's nothing wrong with fucking up?

After dinner, I decided to check out my first a-gogo bar. Walked into Classroom A-gogo, which is across from my hotel. Immediately started talking to a girl named "Lin." It was very refreshing, finally talking to someone who had a decent command of the English language! Lin was very talkative and friendly, and she seemed educated – and this made her even more attractive. She had a tattoo on her arm, which is just fine with me since I am a tattoo artist and I appreciate the art. I decided to buy her and her two friends a round of drinks.

Of course, her friends started saying, "You have good heart." This, I think, is something you don't want Thai women to say about you, as it is not necessarily a compliment. Having a "good heart" simply means that you're generous with your money (which, I am). And this only means that now, your women will simply view you as a walking ATM.

Lin eventually asked me to barfine her, so we can go "boom boom," and I enthusiastically said okay. Then, she smiled and asked me to barfine both of her friends as well. "You boom boom all of us, okay?" I laughed and said, "Oh, no! I cannot boom boom all of you! I only boom boom you tonight, okay?" Lin said okay, but added, "Tomorrow night, you boom boom all of us, okay?" "Okay," I said, with a smile. Oh, damn, I was really starting to enjoy all this!

I paid the 500 baht barfine, and we walked across the street to my hotel. We undressed and showered together. Lin was definitely going to be an animal, I thought, as she showered me with her hands and her body.

In bed, we fucked hard and in every position imaginable. It's not that I'm a stud, or anything, but for the life of me I could not pop an orgasm – mainly because I already had a massive one just a few hours earlier, at the blowjob bar. We fucked for at least 45 minutes, and my sweat-covered body eventually collapsed on her in exhaustion, as I was unable to bring myself to climax.

Lin apologized for not being good enough (that was sweet of her!). I assured her that it wasn't her fault. We ended up showering again, and then Lin took me on a sightseeing tour of Pattaya by night.

We went to Bubbles A-gogo, right down the road from Classroom. She liked this bar, because the girls perform topless (Classroom is not a topless gogo). Then, we went to Walking Street, and she took us into Happy A-gogo. Very classy joint, with very beautiful women performing topless. Lin was enjoying the show just as much as I was. After a couple beers, we left Happy A-gogo, and Lin took me to Polo A-gogo. I LOVED THIS PLACE! Instead of girls holding on to poles and gyrating on stage, the girls at Polo actually perform several classy acts – from the fire-eating act to the Hawaii Mamba act, to my favorite act performed to Tom Jones' "Sex Bomb." All of the dancers looked young (some of them, VERY young). Polo would eventually be my favorite bar on Walking Street, and eventually my favorite girl would be from Polo.

After watching the shows, Lin and I played some pool and watched the Muay Thai fights downstairs. It was past midnight, and Lin suggested that we boom boom one more time. So we walked back to the hotel room, and took another shower together. Instead of moving onto the bed, I kept Lin in the shower, spun her around and fucked her from behind. As I bent her over, her already-tight pussy clamped down on my cock, and felt even better than ever. I finally blew my load after about 20 minutes of hard fucking, and filled the rubber to capacity.

It was 2 a.m., and our "short time" lasted for well over six hours. Damn, Lin was incredible! And she was very sweet, and very attentive to my needs the whole time. I decided to give her a very generous 1500 baht tip – to this, she said that 1000 baht would be appropriate, but I insisted that she take the 1500. I also promised I'd see her again the next day.


Photos: Lin 02 03 04

6 hours is basically a long time, so 1,500 baht is appropriate if she was good. You seem to keep tipping people for bad service because you feel bad...don't do it. Tip the hell out of people who provide good service or decent service but dont reward crappy service no matter how small the price for the service...it just encourages more bad service. Everyone is different but be careful with Thai girls as their sweetness sometimes has a lot of underlying manipulation...like the way they finish questions with "OK"..not leaving you much room to say no.