Hey Ya’ll,

I had a blast in Costa Rica here’s the report.

This was my plan...
Stay in a hotel outside of the gulch. Try to meet and pick up regular girls and party with the locals as much as possible. And (if that didn't work) use the Blue Marlin as a back up plan. I recommend this plan.

I got in on Saturday night and after checking into the Aparthotel La Sabana, went directly to the Blue Marlin Bar and scored a pro for the night, Claudia - beautiful, enthusiastic and spoke English well. 3 hrs. $150. After she leaves I notice Claudia put a hicky on my dick, I don’t think it was on purpose, but now I have red spot on it, I hope it doesn’t scare off any of the girls.

Sunday gambled at the Del Ray and watched the Dolphins play at the sports bar next door, a very nice place! Then after the game went to Eros where I had the most amazing Tica for $40. WOW!!! She was young firm and fantastic in bed. Everything with a rubber, prob’ly because of the hicky. Then I went to the "Outlet Mall" it was kind of expensive and I had no luck picking up chicks here. So I hit the sack early.

Monday I gambled at the Del Ray (Caribbean poker), got drunk, picked up a girl at the BM and took her to my hotel. ‘Don’t remember much more.

Tuesday rented a car and drove to Jaco Beach. It was a trip. You should defiantly do this when you go, the drive is wild and beautiful across the mountains. I had planned on driving back that same night, but after driving over I knew I didn't want to try the drive at night.

In Jaco it was hot as hell, raining and muggy all day. I went to the beach, not many people, but there were a few very hot chicks swimming and surfing.

I rented a suite at the Jaco Jungle Motel, it was not that great but the price was right (I talked him down to $40.) and it was real close to the Beatle Bar. I took a nap, cleaned up and then went out at about 9:PM. The first stop was this strip club next to Pancho Villa's, were I met a couple of young gringo surfers from north Fla. We hung out there I got a private dance from one of the fine hotties there for $25 for two songs (not such a great deal I think) and the girl's drinks are like $10 a rip off. One of my new friends got laid in the private room for $80. (he talked her down from $150.)

Then the three of us went to the Beatle Bar. There was plenty of nice pussy in here and all of it was for sale, but I had to stick to the plan, it was still only about 10:30. Then the one of my new friends who had not gotten laid yet in CR picked up a girl and took her back to his hotel. So me and the other dude headed over to the Onyx. Here we sat for about 15 minutes until two hot Columbianas came and sat next to me. I introduced myself and learned their names - Paula y Baula. My friend bailed and left me with the two chicks. I hope I see him again someday to tell him what he missed.

So Paula y Baula and I had a few beers and closed down the Onyx at 1:AM. Then off we go in my rented roller-skate (actually it was a tiny but comfortable car from Toyota Rent-a-Car for $29. a day) to the Central Disco for some dancing.

Central is a pretty cool place, mostly Hip Hop with a fun and friendly crowd. It was a little slow as it was Tuesday and raining torrents outside. But a good crowd just the same. Paula y Baula new everyone in the joint, so this pretty much made me an instant "regular". There was a transformer at the bar who started flirting with me right away, she/he was realy good looking, but after verifying my suspicions it with Paula, I kept my distance. Before you know it I am dancing with Paula then Baula then Paula y Baula, doing the booty dance and grinding between these two cute hot young chicks like the meat in a Columbiana sandwich. Then this dude who is hanging with us drags me over to this other real fine chick that wants to meet me. We start getting it on out on the dance floor. She is sweating and slapping her ample ass into my dick, oh yeah! This is the way it goes for the next few hours - dancing, drinking and flirting with the ladies. Woohoo!

Now, Paula y Baula, myself and a bunch of us from Central Disco go over to Pancho Villa's. I notice right away some of the girls from Beatle Bar and the booty-slapper from Central hanging out here.

So I'm talking to this girl named Isabell I tell her I am going back to San Jose tomorrow (today really as it's about 4AM) and she asks me if I can give her a ride. Then I meet a crazy old surfer dude in the head and we go outside and burn one.

It's starting to get light out (it gets light real early close to the equator) so it's time to give the girls rides home. Baula has a ride from some dude, Paula and Isabelle need rides so I drive them home, Paula first then Isabelle. I tell Isabelle I will call here when I'm ready to go to San Jose. Then I go back to Pancho Villa's and ask booty-slapper if she would like to go to my hotel.

5 minutes later at the Jaco Jungle we are naked and booty-slapper is sucking my naked dick (the hicky has finally gone away). I fuck her with a rubber, pretty good fuck considering it's sunny out and I'm fucked-up-to-the-max. She keeps drinking her cocktail, some fruity rum thing, she brought with her from PV's and spitting it into my mouth, I thought it was kind of cute the first couple of times, but now I suspect she wants me to pass out so she can check my pockets. So I give her 20,000 Colones to leave, lock the door and pass out.

I sleep till about noon. Then call Isabelle, I tell her get ready cause we are leaving rapido and I head on over to her apartment.

When I get there she tells me to wait. So I wait… and wait… “Hey Isabelle, Let’s Go! Vamos!” I walk up to her door on the second floor it’s open, she asks me to wait outside, so I sit down and wait. When she comes out I notice she isn’t as good looking as I remembered. (musta’ been the alcohol - you think?) Now I got to take a shit, so I ask her “Banos?” she points me to a door with a sheet hanging in the doorway for privacy. Inside the bathroom has no sink in the sink, just a whole in the Formica where it should be. The shower is a pipe sticking out of the wall with no showerhead. Well at least there is a toilette. I take a shit then notice there’s no TP… “Hey Isabelle. There’s no paper!” “Yes, I know” she says, “Well????!!!! How about you get me something?” I wait, she’s moving around on the other side of the sheet. I wait… and wait… “Hey Isabelle?” “Yes?” “HELP!!!” she says “Okay, I’ll be right back” I wait… and wait... Finally she comes back and reaches through the sheet-door with a brand new roll of TP, she must have walked to the store 2 blocks away. I wipe and we’re on our way to San Jose.

We take the scenic rout (read many wrong turns and several sidetracks to look at the cocodrillos) she is telling me how she has to get $200 bucks for her rent before the end of the month and her tips at the bar she works weren’t going to cut it. I dodged this subject and asked her if she would like to get some lunch. She seemed like a kid when she asked if we could go to Taco Bell like it was the best place in all of Costa Rica. This little Costa Rican hippy/surfer chick was starting to grow on me.

So when we get to San Jose we go to Taco Bell downtown and damn if it isn’t the fucking nicest Taco Bell I’ve ever seen! After we eat, Isabelle asks me to wait with her for her friend who is coming to meet her in front of the Taco Bell. I’ve got nothing better to do at 2pm, so I agree. We wait… and we wait… she tells me her friend speaks real good English and her name is Britney. The rain comes down like a cow pissing on a flat rock. Britney finally shows up, damn, she’s cute! about 5’ tall about 19 to 22 years old, and dressed sexy. We go get the roller-skate, and they ask me to drop them at the Monkey Bar. The MB is a pool hall right across from the Blue Marlin. When I drop them off they walk right into the BM. I guess Isabelle will get her rent money after all. Hehe.

It’s now rush hour in San Jose. One dumb gringo in a rented roller-skate drives all over town trying to find his way to the Aparthotel La Sabana. Three hours later I pull up to the place, what is usually a 10 minute taxi ride. AAAAAAARGHH!!!

I shower and change the clothes I’ve been wearing for two days. And head out to the Blue Marlin at about 9PM leaving the skate at the hotel and taking a cab.

Back at the Blue Marlin, I figure I will shop for a hooker. The place is packed. There’s got to be 10 girls for every gringo in the place. You have to slide sideways to move around in the place. With chicks grabbing you and rubbing up against you, it’s hard to get to the bar to get a drink. I pass this one real pretty girl who’s not dressed like a hooker and she asks my name, her name is Claudia. I talk to her for a minute, and then I try to make it up to the bar for a drink. I run into her again on my way back out, but I just got here and I’m still shopping. So after a quick smile and “hi” I continue sliding around through the ocean of chicks. I make my way back to the bar and notice an empty barstool and grab it. There’s Claudia in the stool next to mine. I guess I’m done shopping.

I must tell you guys, I like this girl, I liked her the first time I saw her, you might call it like at first site. She is so classy, man not like the rest of the putas in the BM, so when she asked for $100 for the hour I didn’t want to cheapen her by negotiating. So we took a cab back to my place.

Man this chick laied one on me! And it wasn’t just about me. She was into it to, whispering to me just what she wanted me to do and rewarding me with squeals of delight. I won’t go into it too much, but if I was in “like” with her before, I was in “lust” with her now! Let’s just say we were both satisfied.

She stayed for a couple hours, and she gave me her cel number (not unusual - they all do) I had the bellman call a cab. We went back to the Del Ray, shared a salad, and a nice conversation and had coffee. I got back home at about 4am.

Thursday. Slept till about 8am, grinded some continental breakfast, then headed over to the Toyota Rent-a-car to return the roller skate. After flirting again with the cute rent-a-car chick, I took off walking. I walked down the main drag through the downtown, shopping district. I had my pack on my back with a change of clothes, some maps & shit, and my digital camera. As I’m walking it gets crowdeder and crowdeder, a little bump and tug and I turn around to see this little hot Tica with a red handkerchief, I look to see if she just jacked something out of my pack, I take my pack off and check it out and all the zippers are open and my camera is gone - that’s all just the camera. I don’t think the Tica had it, I think she was there to distract me. Anyway the camera was gone, and my pictures of Claudia I, Paula y Baula, Isabelle, the cocodrillos (crocodiles), the surfer chick, (she gets a separate story) Claudia II, the roller skate, and various other sites worthy of record. Sorry dudes you’ll just have to rely on my descriptions.

At the Del Ray I buy 10,000 Colones worth of chips and sit down to play Caribbean Poker. I lost the 10 K without winning one hand, but it’s too early to quit, about 9:30am, so I up for another 5K… seven hours and umpteen bloody-Marys later I decide it’s time for lunch and cash in my 15K. I think I’ll have sushi down the street, but first I will grab a girl so I don’t have to eat alone. There’s a good one there, a smokin’ Columbiana with big aftermarket tits. She’s not much for the conversation, but a nice view while I eat my rainbow roll. After lunch I ask her to come to my hotel, she starts the negotiations at $100. (always the starting price no matter how fine, or lame, the chick) I counter with 20,000 Colones, we settle on 30K (about $65.)

This girl was soooooooo fucking hot! Her pussy was a little too funky to go down on, but I liked the way she left her sexy-fuck-me heals on in bed. Oh yeah!

And back to the Del Ray.

It’s just getting dark now. And I’m thinking about my sweetheart Claudia, I’m just getting ready to call her when she comes in to the Blue Marlin. We have a drink and agree to go shopping for this CD I heard on the radio and want to buy. We went to the Mall, real boyfriend – girlfriend shit, holding hands, stealing kisses when nobody’s looking. Real nice. We never found the CD. I got her a pair of silver earrings, that looked real nice on her, because it felt right.

I developed a stomachache, so we went back to the La Sabana. Claudia nursed me for a while but when it was clear I wasn’t in any condition for making love (my stomach was killing me) I walked her down to the curb and kissed her goodnight as she got into the cab.

Friday. Only one more day, so I call Claudia to see if we can do something “touristy” she’s not answering, so I head back to the Del Ray.

Back at the Caribbean poker table I did alright won about 3K. But all I wanted was to see Claudia. I gamble a while then call her then more gambling then try again. Finally she answers her phone. By now it’s too late for the tourist shit so we agree to make a night of it.

We went to a real nice Mexican restaurant; this place put the best SoBe restaurant to shame - totally swank. I had a NY Strip, she had some broiled jumbo shrimp dish and we each had 3 cocktails. The bill came to about 35 bucks, with tip. Then we went to the Pueblo.

The Pueblo is a big maze of clubs, discos and shows. We hung out drinking these concoctions she likes to drink made out of the juice of lemons and Corona with salt around rim of the glass. I am in heaven, here I am with this fine chick hanging on my arm, making out with her, dancing, drinking, and generally having a great time. This foreplay goes on for a while before we stagger out to grab a cab back to the La Sabana.

It’s even better than the first time, she has this thing she likes that I never did with a chick before, let’s just say it’s the way she likes it. Our love making is loud and long. Afterwards we go get some coffee. Then back to the hotel for another round. This time we knock over the end table and two stale beers that were on top of it. The beers soak her clothes. Now the sun is coming up and she’s in the bathroom using the house hair dryer to dry her clothes. She gets most of the beer smell out, puts on her clothes and I escort her to her cab. I’ve got about 7 hours before my plane leaves. Catch a few Z’s.

Goodbye sweet Claudia, I will be back.

Now I’m back in Miami writing this trip report for my friends. I hope it’s not too long and boring, but it really was for ME anyway.

That’s the short version.

Red

P.S. I left out all the gringos at the poker table; Bob, Bob, Bill, Chris, Cowboy, and the 93 year old dude who’s name I forget who has been living in CR for 28 years and all the other gringos who’s names I forget.

Hey Red,
Great report. I just got back today. I went to Playa El Coco. Give my report in few days.

I can't wait to read it!