Do arrive in the Philippines ready to have a good time. Leave your work and personal problems behind in the departure lounge of the airport. You are on vacation. Don’t let anyone start talking to you about your problems at home. Those problems will just have to wait for you to get back. If you are fair skinned then part of being ready to have a good time is work on your tan in the weeks before you leave home. Very little can destroy a vacation faster than a bad sunburn and sunburns come quick in the Philippines. Keep the sunblock handy, especially for the first few days. If you are going to swim with a filipina then she will appreciate some sunblock too. For most filipinas the lighter their skin the better, even though you and I may love them golden brown.

Don’t pack as if you are on a world tour. There is no reason to bring anything other than casual clothes to the Philippines. Most of the hotels can get your laundry done in 24 hours at a reasonable price. If not there are some independent laundry services available. The item of clothing you need the most of is shirts. I can easily sweat through a shirt in a couple of hours in the Philippines. I bring a couple extra shirts and a couple of souvenir shirts and get regular laundry and I do just fine. Packing light also means no checked baggage at the airport and no chance of lost luggage.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. You are on vacation. I have seen some foreigners get pretty worked up about some small problems. This happens in the bars, restaurants, hotel front desks and even on the street. You are a guest in a foreign country. Occasionally one of the locals will put one over on you. Let it slide. I say again – you are on vacation. I saw one foreigner upset to the point that he looked like a heart attack waiting to happen. The problem was that the trike driver said he didn’t have change for a 100 peso note.

Do carry a lot of extra small bills close to hand. The 20 peso note makes a decent small tip and the 50 peso note is used for trikes and big tips. Stock up on the small bills when you get a chance. Especially before you travel to a tourist spot like Boracay.

Do try local foods while you are visiting. I remember having a mini pool party with three girls and ordering lunch. They had burgers and club sandwiches and I had chicken adobo. We laughed at each other. Be warned that a strictly Filipino diet is very low in fiber. They are used to it but you probably aren’t. Your body’s adjustment could be painful.

Do try some of the ‘other’ services in AC. A manicure and pedicure is 100 peso ($US2) total. A haircut is the same price. If last night’s barfine left a little earlier than you expected then get a nice relaxing massage. How the massage ends is ‘up to you’. Of course there is always Santos St. - open 24 hours a day.

Do try and use as many Tagalog words in your conversation as possible. If you thought filipinas were friendly just wait and see how much more friendly they are when they realize that you are struggling to learn their language. Telling sweetheart that she is beautiful will score you points. Telling honeyko (sweetheart) that she is maganda (beautiful) will score you even more points.

Do use a condom. I am not going to lecture you about STD’s and safe sex but there is a second reason to use a condom. On my last trip I barfined two girls that each admitted later that they didn’t ask me to use a condom (I did anyways) because they wanted to get pregnant from me. I really don’t think I am that much of a catch at my age. From their point of view if you can afford the airfare and stay in a nice hotel that means you have money. With a child they figure they are more likely to get a relationship or support or even marriage from you. You have been warned.

Do treat the girls with respect. They really don’t think of themselves as whores and would be shocked to find out how most foreigners think. I sat in a bar in AC one time and watched almost every girl in the bar sing the song with the line ‘Sex for money, Sex, Sex for money’. I looked at their faces and not one of them truly believed that the song applied to them. Some of them are there for financial need (theirs or their families), some to find a husband and some who are just plain malibog (horny). I have personally witnessed a casual derogatory remark from a foreigner rip the heart out of a fragile filipina. He paid for his drink and left. She was devastated and lost an enormous amount of face in front of her friends. The girls work hard for their money so they deserve a little respect.

Don’t underestimate the intelligence of some of the girls. Uneducated doesn’t mean stupid. In a poor country education goes only to those that can afford it. Even high school costs pesos in terms of lost wages that a girl could earn as a babysitter. I was surprised when a Santos St. girl picked up my crossword magazine and proceeded to do a puzzle in English.

Don’t be surprised when a girl can’t do something that you take for granted. I remember a girl who couldn’t mentally figure out what 4 x 500 pesos totaled. Surprisingly for a country comprised of 7000 islands most filipinas don’t know how to swim. You can have a lot of fun teaching them in the pool. You may have to buy her a 250 peso bikini but it’s worth it. Hmm, US$5 to spend a couple of hours in a pool holding a beautiful young woman. Just don’t let her buy a bathing suit that looks like one your mother would have bought 30 years ago. Some filipinas are very shy in public. It’s your job to help them overcome their shyness for your benefit and also for the benefit of the other foreigners using the pool. One of those other foreigners might be me.

Do lay down some rules to avoid misunderstandings. One of my favorite is that all filipinas must be naked in the hotel room. If you want to regulate usage of the mini-bar or the TV or the cell phone then do so immediately upon finding a problem. Don’t bother to drop hints, direct is fine. In my experience most filipinas respect you for making a firm decision. I had to threaten one girl with no more barfine if she didn’t give the cell phone a break. Once I said it, there was never a single problem again.

Don’t go into a bar looking for a certain body type. Not many filipinas are naturally well endowed and silicone is unknown. Far too many foreigners are oriented on cup size. Look around the bar for the filipina that can’t look back at you. If she covers her mouth with her hand and drops to the floor that’s a sure sigh that she likes you. You can flirt with them by eye until you find one that is interested. If you find an attractive one then by all means ask her over to your side. Now you have to separate the ‘terminally shy’ girls from the ‘initially shy but can warm up nicely’ girls. A really shy girl will be unable to talk with you or touch you in any way. It’s a shame when you find a really attractive one that is really shy but it’s best to just move on to the next girl. A girl that can make you smile and get you a little worked up just by sitting beside you has potential. By all means buy her a ladies drink.

Do talk to the girl and discuss what you expect from a barfine before you hand over 1000 pesos. That’s the whole purpose of ladies drinks in my opinion. Sometimes while you are trying to talk to one girl, other girls are hovering nearby hoping to score a ladies drink themselves. It’s okay to ask the others for some privacy. This is your opportunity to decide if this girl sitting beside you (or even better sitting on your lap) is right for you. You don’t know this girl so you have to ask questions. Don’t be shy. I find it helpful to say something like – Do you mind if I ask you a few personal questions? She will know what is coming next even if she has just arrived in AC. It is simply amazing how fast the new girls are brought up to speed on the process. Ask away. Topics include menstruation, shyness, specific sexual desires, length of time she will stay and anything else that is important to you. One of my key questions is ‘Are you malibog?’ She will look down and giggle when I ask but if she looks me in the eye when she answers ‘yes’ then I am pretty confidant that we will get along just fine.

Don’t rush your new barfine back to your hotel and try to jump her bones. You can do it but don’t expect a spirited responsive woman in your bed. You can go bar hopping, play pool or even just walk along Fields (not Santos St. with the girls calling out your name). Personally I find it best to not eat dinner before finding a girl. After I barfine a girl I tell her that I haven’t eaten yet and invite her to dinner. Having dinner together gives you a chance to get to know her better. No more intense personal questions or questions about her work in AC, let her relax. Ask her about her family, province, education, friends and other interests. After dinner (where you leave a good tip) gently steer her back to your hotel. What happens next is ‘up to you’ – a very common Philippine expression.

Do tip her when she leaves. Of course if you have found that she was bolla bolla (lying) to you when you asked those personal questions before you barfined her then all bets are off. Assuming she fulfilled your expectations then what is a proper tip? I have actually talked to a few bargirls about this very question. Let us assume that you bought her dinner, had a good boom boom, slept the night, woke up to a good boom boom and bought her breakfast. It is now time for her to go. In her mind the 50 – 100 pesos trike fare is cheap charlie. 300 pesos is probably what she usually gets. 500 pesos would be a very good tip. Anything over 500 and you can probably expect her to say something like – You come my bar and barfine me tonight?

Do at least walk down Santos St. a few times in every trip. No matter how old you are there is something magical about a cute young thing (preferably female) coming up to you and saying “I give you good blowjob and boom boom”. It’s good for the libido. You may want to do more than just walk down Santos St. Just be warned that with the sheer volume of business that some Santos St. girls do that you should be extra careful about STD’s.

Do try to, at least once in every trip, to develop a one night stand up to the status of honeyko (sweetheart). In my experience it is worth it. First off it saves you a lot of time and possibly even money. You don’t have to buy 7 ladies drinks in 5 different bars in order to find Miss Tonight. Your risk of non-performance drops to negligible. You get the company of a beautiful young filipina for about 23 hours a day. You did come to the Philippines to be with filipinas right? Which girls are potential honeykos? Basically the ones that you had the best time with, in and out of bed. The most important reason for finding a honeyko is the change in her attitude. If sex with a particular girl is great then it will be incredible when she thinks of herself as honeyko. If she was fun to go barhopping with before she will be in an even better mood when you introduce her as honeyko. If you are staying a week then you can barfine 5 different girls in 5 nights and still go back to #3 for your last 2 nights and have a very good time. Just tell her that you can’t stop thinking about her – which is true or you wouldn’t be going back to her - and that you would like to spend the rest of your trip with her. Instant honeyko. Don’t forget to ask about menstruation first. Be advised that honeykos do have some level of upkeep. Plan on buying her something nice (clothing, jewelery, cell phone load, perfume, stuffed animal) every second day or so and honeyko will keep you happy in return.

Do try barfining two girls at the same time at least once in your trip. Let’s be honest – it’s the number one male fantasy. When it works out it can be very, very nice. When it doesn’t work out it can be painful and expensive. You can never be sure that it will work out but you can increase your chances by following one simple rule. Let the first girl choose the second girl. Of course you are not going to let her choose somebody that doesn’t turn you on as well. When choosing the first girl you might need mamasan to point you in the right direction. Then you may have to buy a few ladies drinks to find the right first girl and even more ladies drinks to find the right second girl but it’s worth it trust me. Don’t expect a scene from a porno movie to happen before your eyes. You will probably have to keep it pretty calm at the beginning or one girl will run to the CR. Rewards come to he who is patient.

Do visit more of the Philippines than just AC if you can. It is a beautiful and varied country full of friendly people. With mountains, jungles, beaches, volcanoes, cities and small villages there is a lot more than Fields Ave. If you are staying a week or more try to include a side trip or two in your visit. Take honeyko along and she can be your tour guide. She has probably never been there before either but she will enjoy the role of tour guide. For short trips of one or two nights you can go to Subic Bay, Iba, Baguio, La Union, Tagaytay or Hundred Islands. For longer trips where you are confidant of honeykos attitude you can go to Puerta Galera, Cebu or Boracay. If you can’t get away or you are not sure if honeyko is a keeper then you can still do day trips. If you are getting too much sun you can go to movies in the afternoon. The air conditioning can be a welcome break. Be warned that the movie theatre is in the shopping mall in Angeles and all honeykos like to shop when someone else is paying. You can go to Mt. Ararat – if hiking is your thing the view from the top is great. You can go go-cart racing or try Fontana water park.

Don’t be a bolla bolla foreigner. Yes most filipinas will bolla bolla you at some point. They want to present themselves to you in the best possible light so they believe it is ok for them to hide a few aspects of their life from you. Take the high road and be honest with the girls. If you do find yourself a honeyko she will respect you for your honesty. When you catch her in a lie (and you will) you can say to her “See how you are” and she will be very embarrassed. She will want to do something special for you to make up for her bolla bolla. What happens next is “up to you”.

Don’t think that the Orchid is the only hotel in AC. I stayed at the Southern Star hotel one time recently and it was pretty good. For 850 pesos I got a quiet room with a very large and comfortable bed, a good air conditioner, a small but good TV with full set of channels and a shower with endless hot water. Sure honeyko said pangit (ugly) when she saw the room and the CR (comfort room = bathroom) but it really was a decent clean room.

Do have fun. That is the single most important piece of advice.

Happy_Memories (Because that’s all you should bring home with you and that’s all you should leave behind)

Wow, nice to see this terrific post here on this board. Glad to see you are posting here. Please keep them coming!

Probably the best advice I've seen in three+ years of reading this site and Redsnake. Thank you!

Are you currently familiar with Palawan, and if so, do you think it is "reasonably" safe to travel there?

I'm usually a calm person, but know that I'll still have reason to keep in mind your suggestion to not make a mountain out of a molehill.

What is "malibog"?

Robert Johnson
avisar2004@yahoo.com

Malibog (pronounce MAH lee bog)--means horny!

Great post, Happy. I get such a kick when the girls say "see how you are". I think its the national phrase of filipinas.

this was very informative. I am going to the philippines on business and will be there for a few months. I will be spending most of the time in Cebu but, I will be in Manila overnight on my way in, staying at the Hyatt. Are there any places you can recommend closeby? Looking at a map, Angeles seems a bit far given my timetable.

Yes, this is one of the classic Phils threads with alot of good insights and info. Lots of p4p palces in Manila, check out the Manila thread on this site for EDSA, LA CAFE, BURGOS, etc.

very nice report. i could not agree with more of hwat u mentioned here. im on my second trip and will be enjoying more pleasant memories