SATURDAY, JANUARY 31, 2004

Hello. RT here. No one's going to offer to carry my bags for me after yesterday's developments.

The day started well. Ashley and I wake up at around 8 and have a repeat (if not as frenetic) of Friday night's session. We clean up, have breakfast and I tuck her in a taxi with a $10 tip and send her on her way.

I get a LOAD of dirty looks from the three woman yapping away at the front desk of the hotel. I think that they were probably just jealous of Ashley. I am quite the catch, you know.

The next three hours are taken up with me attempting to type Friday's report. First, I do some key combination on the hotel keyboard to close the active window. I was up to the "Coming tomorrow" part of the report. Next, The entire network crashes on the 80 cent per hour Internet store terminal I'm on. I'm a wordy bastard, so attempt #3 gets done in my note pad (saved every two paragraphs), and copied and pasted at completion. Success, finally.

I grab a $3 lunch at a local cafeteria and head back to the room to nap for a while. I'm pretty sure that I dreamed of Ashley. Awake and ready to go at three, I cab over to the Gran Almirante to gamble. The casino is not open yet, so I just walk in the opposite direction from the hotel to explore the city.

Walking around for a while, it depresses me. This is one of the big, fancy, industrial cities in this country and it was miserable. If you were driving around in the United States and found yourself in a similar neighborhood, you would leave immediately. These people just don't have much going for them here.

Getting tired and depressed, I grab a cab and ask to go to my hotel. We pass a supermarket (big and shiny) that I hadn't seen before, so I have him let me out there to look around. I don't remember the name or location (the GPS was in the hotel), but it was passable. And packed. I leave, and start walking. Once I realize that I knew where I was, I just hoofed it back to the hotel.

That was the highlight of my day, by the way.

Around 7:30, and after asking four cabbies if they knew where it was, I went to Paparazzo restaurant for dinner.

PAPARAZZO: 19° 27' 387" N, 70° 41' 781" W

Having eaten at Paparazzo before, I knew what to expect. They bill themselves as "Fine Dominican Cuisine", but they are much better than I have had elsewhere. Tablecloths, waiters in suits, and excellent food. My dinner of Ceasar salad, some stuffed eggplant appetizer (outstanding) and Sesame Tuna ran to a total of $21, including the tip. Especially good was the guacamole that they gave you to put on your bread.

One thing about the service staff, however. They probably weren't moonlighting from their day jobs at the Dominican NASA. I enter, they ask me immediately about my drink and bring it, then let me sit there while they stare at me for ten minutes. When I finally get one over to my table and ask for a menu, he explained that, after they bring drinks, they allow their customers time to talk to each other before bringing the menu. Uh, I'm alone, I said. I guess that wasn't a planned contingency.

A taxi brings me to the now-open Gran Almirante where I play blackjack for a couple of hours and break even. Not satisfied with this, I insist on throwing away $10 in the slot machines before taking a taxi to Diversions.

DIVERSIONS: 19° 25' 874" N, 70° 38' 137" W

I had read about the existence of Diversions in one of Vladimir‘s posts. He mentioned its existence, but had not been there. So I figured someone had to go, why not RT?

Diversions is all the way in the middle of nowhere in Santiago. From the Gran Almirante, the driver had to pass Ilusions and Casablanca, before turning down this terrible road to get there. If you go, follow the signs to Olympus cabanas, and keep going.

Once I got there, I felt like I was back in Puerto Plata, sort of. The place had a car wash feel to it, except much nicer. It's an indoor/outdoor complex, for lack of a better term. And, like the car washes, the music was deafening.

You enter through a security gate and drive through the parking lot. You enter through a little lane and are faced with going straight, right, or left. To the left was a gazebo-type area, to the right, a small house-like building, and straight ahead, a bar and other stuff.

I chose the bar first. Diversions is an accurate name for the place. In a covered area was three pool tables, a ping pong table, some guys playing dominos, a TV, and the bar. Oh yeah, there were probably 15 girls or so, scattered here and there. Playing pool, talking to each other, hanging with guys. These were regular-looking girls. If I didn't know where I was, I would have thought that they just came there to hang out. They did, but also to make some money. I ordered a water and wandered around a little.

Soon, an older woman approached me. She was the boss, and offered me a tour of the place, what with this being my first time there and all. The house-like building had a few smaller rooms with couches and very cold air conditioning. She explained that if you wanted, you could take a date there to spend some time. All but one of the rooms I saw only had beads covering the doorway, so I'm not sure what they expected to go on there. There was also a small restaurant area and a larger, "VIP Room", probably 15 x 30 feet, with more couches, and I presume, all the privacy you and 11 other friends could want.

The other end of the complex (gazebo area), had one very large (probably 10 tables) gazebo, and four or five more smaller, private gazebos. These small ones were equipped with a TV, music, a telephone, a table, and a bench area. Although wide open, they were indeed secluded from each other and I guess pretty much anything could go on there, if you so desired.

There was also a stage on the lawn area. Not in use for my visit, but available if necessary. It is all fairly new, and in good repair.

I couldn't tell if there was a specific cost for usage of the private areas, or they just make money on the drinks. My cost for two bottles of water: 30 pesos ($0.60).

All in all, Diversions is (IMNSHO) a top-notch facility. I just can't figure out why someone who doesn't live nearby would go there. If I lived close by, I would hang there with my buddies, but the girls weren't stunners and (for me), it did not provide a level of privacy that I would want. I have no clue what the asking price was for take out women; this may be a deciding factor.

They were happy to call a taxi to take me to Pasions.

THE NIGHT GETS WORSE
Honey, I don't care about money, I only want you to be happy.

Yeah, right.

We drive on a terrible road away from Diversions and get to Pasions. Feeling bad for the driver, I overpay and give him $3. The parking lot is packed, people are coming and going... this is what I was looking for.

After passing the metal detector (they were impressed with the GPS), I enter into a large ballroom. There was a bar in the far right-hand corner, a large stage in the middle, and chairs and tables surrounding the stage. It was a little too dark for my tastes, but that's how it is. The music was deafening, of course. Oh, and easily 100-150 girls, all dressed up wandering through the club. Counting was difficult, as it was dark, some were dancing, some were sitting at tables with guys, some were generally coming and going. This was the nicest place I had been to in the Dominican Republic.

Passing up offers of a table, I head to the bar (better for a single guy) and order a bottle of water. The process of checking out the unaccompanied woman and being checked out by them takes a good fifteen minutes until Lorena and I find each other. Lorena's probably 5'6" or so, thin with very long blonde hair. Not too much up top, but she's pretty, and I'm thinking I can be happy. She wanders over to my general vicinity until we make eye contact, then I offer to buy her a drink. One big glass of tequila ($2.50) later, we head away from the bar and over to a couch, as far away from the speakers as possible.

After some small talk, she asks if I want some company back at my hotel. I say sure, how much? Once the shock wears off from her quote of $90, I counter with an offer of $60. I had known in advance that Pasions was higher-priced then say, Porky's (I paid Ashley $50 + a $10 tip), so I was prepared to pay a little more. She come back at $70, I agree if I can take a couple of pictures and pay her. She goes off to change her clothes and we go outside to get a taxi to my hotel.

That's where the trouble starts.

While we wait for the taxi, I hear, ''Mi amore, give me 100 pesos. I want to buy a phone card.'' No, I say. I've already spent too much. ''No problema,'' she replies. ''I only want you to be happy.''

The cab gets us to the hotel. In the room, she wants a drink. Not just any drink, but the Johnny Walker Black in the mini-bar. No, I say again. I'm not buying a $10 tiny bottle of booze in the Dominican Republic. Also, I'm tired of you asking for things. You have more of my money now than I do, I say. She won't shut up, so we settle on the tiny $4 bottle of Black. I hope you're happy now, I say. ''No, it's you who needs to be happy,'' she replies again. Uh huh.

Picture time. Guess what? No pictures. But you agreed, I say.

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

Well, if it will make you happy... she lets me get off a few pictures.

Oh, the shot of Black is gone. She's whining again. Maybe later, I tell her. Let's get going already.

Things start to move along until we get to the French session. Out comes the translator. No, I say, you agreed.

No, she insists, besides, I'm thirsty.

Forget it, I tell her. Keep your word.

Well, baby, I want you to be happy, but I won't do that. Why aren't you happy? Can I have another drink?

No again. If you want me happy, I say, get to work.

Only if you get me a drink.

I went her one better. I handed her all of her clothes and told her to get out of my hotel room. The tears start and she says that I don't understand, the money doesn't matter, If I don't have fun, it's just wrong.

OK, I say, give me my money back. Hah!!!!!!!!

Of course she doesn't. She gets dressed and leaves while she's telling me that I am wrong and I am telling her that she's a bandidta.

I could have gone somewhere else (It was only about 2:30), but I was tired and went to sleep.

Lets look at my part in this: What could I have done differently?

1. I could have gone somewhere cheaper, like Casablanca or back to Porky's.

2. I could have been pickier. The music was too loud, and Lorena was pretty. Also, it was late. Going elsewhere would have added at least an hour to the operation.

3. I could have caved to her requests. They weren't that big. But then, they would have never stopped.

I guess I just picked bad. My rotten luck. If I spoke better Spanish, I would be a little more confident in places like that, so it's just the cost of doing business. In this case $70. More importantly, I lost a night.

COMING UP SUNDAY: My last day of a short trip. I have no clue what there is to do in the day on Sunday around here. I need to find out where I can watch the Super Bowl, and will go to Casablanca/Ilusions for my evening's entertainment. I *know* Porky's will work, so there's always that, too. I will probably eat and gamble, as well. My plane leaves at 9:00 on Monday, so back home then.

RT: "OK, I say, give me my money back. Hah!!!!!!!! "

I love your style....but one thing you gotta learn. "Te Pago Cuando Terminamos." You never pay them up front. And you make sure that is negotiated first...and if they refuse then you know you have a loser. Your night might have turned out better if she knew she would not get paid without performing.

No choice in this case, Radioman, you pay the entire salida when you take the lady out of the club.

Yeah, what Vlad said. The only carrot I have is a propina.