| By Porker on Monday, February 09, 2004 - 11:13 pm: Edit |
As I spelled out in probably excessive detail in the last chapter, now that I was IN Angeles City and all the major parties KNEW that I was there and expecting their due slice of Porker, juggling girls was going to become difficult, something I did not LIKE in the least. The one thing that was clear for me as I mulled all of the drama over on Monday morning was that I was really HAPPY with my ‘relationship’ with Airport Girl. She had filled her niche almost perfectly with me so far – the Longtime Girl that was apparently happy waiting to stay in my room and bang the hell out of me like she MEANT IT whenever I showed up in my room. And she’d be gone from the room for long enough periods where I could arrange other liaisons there if I wanted.
That still left my other ‘wife’ from July to deal with, and if she was head to head against Airport Girl it was going to be tough for her to win the battle of the LT girls. Which meant that something needed to be done about her role in the rotation, as one night of juggling two LT girls in two separate rooms was enough stress and drama to last the rest of the trip, as far as I was concerned. Plus, I wanted variety, and having two LT girls limited the opportunity/desire for short time girls.
Based on a conversation I had had with Epi the night before about how to limit Flaca’s role in the harem without feeling guilty, he suggested that I get her to either WAAAAY up the ante, or make it seem like she was cutting herSELF. As we both pretty much knew that Flaca was all about the pesos with me (though I’m sure she liked me a little), the strategy was to be to make her decide whether she wanted to be more like a girlfriend (a la Airport Girl), or like a barfine who could be ordered around at will. And after being well laid by her again that morning (while AG was awaiting my return at the Central Park), I brought the subject up: If Flaca ‘loved’ me, why was I paying her barfine?
She really didn’t have an answer to that, just said that she’d get in trouble with the bar for not working and/or sneaking out with me. I asked what would happen, if she’d get fined or something, and she said she didn’t think they did that anymore, but that she had never done it and wasn’t aware of anyone else at Voodoo that had either, so she didn’t know for sure.
I pressed her a little more and all she would say is that Mamasan ‘wouldn’t like it’ and might get mad. I told her that paying her barfine made ME mad, and that there really wasn’t any need for it if she liked me as much as she said. She said that if I wanted her to sneak out that she’d think about it, but that it was difficult because she lived in a stay-in (dormitory) run by the bar and it’d be hard to explain an absence, especially at night. I told her that if I was really a BOYFRIEND (as she assured me she wanted me to be) that paying the barfine was offensive, and asked her what the bar would think if a girl there went out to screw a trike driver boyfriend, if they’d expect 500 pesos the next day.
She admitted that it’s ‘different’ with foreigners, but repeated that she’d ‘try’ to sneak out with me if it was that important. I told her that was fine, but it was something that she had better decide when she woke up in the morning and plan ahead of time, that I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for her until the end of her shift to see if she was going to get barfined or not. I told her to call me that afternoon or the next morning if she was serious about wanting to be with me, and she said she would.
Another reason to cut her from the rotation fell right in my LAP, so to speak, when lying together in post-boomboom bliss that morning, I told her ‘OK, time for the morning blow job!’. She started a fake yawn and stretching and said ‘Ohh, I’m really TIRED now’ and then rolled over and played like she was going to sleep. She did all of this as a joke, obviously, and probably would have capitulated had I pressed the issue, but as it had always been a bit of an issue for me with her, I filed it away to use as extra ammo if needed.
I told Flaca that I didn’t like Hotel Hana (the really cheap room was really basic) and that I was going to check out and see if I could get a room at the Central Park or somewhere nicer. So I packed my stuff that I had brought (told her the rest was in Epi’s room – that I had been shut out from getting a room my first couple nights) and we headed by trike back to Fields.
Over breakfast (for her, I was still overBLOATED by that pre-dawn HUGE burger at Sub Delicious) at Kokomoz (in a back booth for Semi-privacy from AG spies), I repeated again what I wanted from her: That she be with me when she didn’t have to work, and be with me because she liked me, not for the money, though I did say that I had no problem ‘helping her and her family’ in the morning. I also said that if I was just a barfine paying customer, that she might end up having to do things she didn’t like, primarily sucking dick. Flaca mostly just listened to all of this, and still would claim later that she didn’t understand, but I’m pretty sure the points were clear as we parted about 9 AM that morning.
In the final exchange as I was dropping her off at her stay-in door (and headed right back to Airport Girl), she asked me if I could give her ‘load’ (airtime) for her cellphone. I told her that I’d give her ‘load’ when she came back to give me my morning blow job! She pouted a bit as I kissed her goodbye, and I told her to text me when she was sure she WANTED to see me. The combo of Epi’s idea and the blow job contention led to me being quite upbeat about her dismissal. I knew there was a possibility of missing her terribly and wondering if she had been barfined by somebody else if I went looking for her, but the upside was that the ante had been upped with her, and that if I DID hook up with her again (and I quite memorably would!) that it should be on MY terms.
As the Central Park is literally 50 feet from the Voodoo stay-in, I was back in bed next to Airport Girl within two minutes of kissing off Flaca. She stirred as I climbed into bed with her, and despite already having three rounds in the last 10 hours between the two wives, her AWESOME body rubbing against mine led to me attacking her as usual.
The soap opera with the wives would take another twist in the middle of pumping away with AG that morning, though. While the generic Vitamin V acquired in Thailand was still running strong through my mid-30’s veins (including the MAIN vein!), I was in no rush to finish, and after awhile I began to wonder if it was even going to happen at all – something almost unheard of in my countless sessions with Airport Girl. So we kept boning, and kept at it, and there were no complaints EVER about sex from AG, she seemingly loved fucking me, or was a damned good actress.
Except this time I think I hurt the poor girl. After a good 30 minutes of drilling for oil, it appeared that I had drilled something else. Pulling out for one of what seemed like DOUBLE DIGITS in position changes, I looked down and noticed blood on the pole and some blood was on the comforter. I wasn’t freaked out too badly – periods happen, and it had apparently just now occurred, as it hadn’t been a problem several hours before. AG, of course, was exTREMELY embarrassed and I followed her while she ran for the shower.
We both hosed off easily enough, and the comforter material made it difficult for things to soak in deep so it was rather painlessly cleaned. But AG was noticeably down, and I tried to lighten her mood and told her that she was being silly, that everything was OK. She told me she wanted me to be happy on my vacation and that it was OK with her if I got another girl that night since she had started her period. I told her that she didn’t have to worry, that there were many fun things that we could do despite her period, and that I still wanted to be with her that night. But she still seemed pretty shook up about things as she left and I went down to meet Epi for the morning recap.
I hung out at the bar while Epi had coffee, but when he brought up breakfast (of course it was more like lunchtime by then!), I mentioned heading to Margarita Station where I could change some money as well. He quickly agreed (Epi’s one of the most easygoing people I know), and we ended up seeing Atravel tucked away in a booth in the back polishing off some French toast and got him to join us.
I’ve said it before and I’ll repeat it here: I like Margarita Station a LOT (especially this trip as it wasn’t so damned hot all the time), and similar to Kokomoz, there just always seems to be a BUZZ in that place with girls flitting around at all hours of the day and night either with customers or sometimes trolling for one. And the food there is generally good (for Angeles, which is always catered to the gourMAND not the gourMET!) and an excellent value. BUT, the service from the cute little midget waitresses can be ‘quirky’, and YMWV (Your Mileage WILL Vary) on the quality of the food depending on what you order. Some stuff they do very well (example: Onion Rings, sandwiches for the most part), some stuff they just don’t grasp the concept of.
And on this morning it probably wasn’t even their fault, I simply ordered a samdwich from the daily special and expected it to be something I had seen a picture of in the menu, and it wasn’t. I got a cold ham sandwich on a bun rather than grilled ham and cheese like I expected. Also, the cheese was somehow missing from the ham and CHEESE sandwich. But as I usually seem to be in a pretty damned good mood (when not STONED tired!) in Angeles, I just made a little joke to the midget waitress that I she had brought me a ham and HAM not a ham and CHEESE. She brought it back a few minutes later with a slice of American on top (cold of course, making the sandwich even funnier). I’m not sure you can get a cold ham and cheese sandwich on a hamburger bun in a restaurant anywhere else in the world!
One of the faves from the past trip that I had kept in contact with was Private Dancer girl, a girl that will forver be remembered as the KILLER kegel girl that had almost ripped my cock off while putting it in a vice-lock while I finally finished after a marathon session with her. She had ended up being only a one-time short time girl on the July trip as I was so busy juggling the two wives and other short time delights that I had never gotten around to taking her a second time. While older than most of the girls I ever looked at twice in Angeles, her body was still in good shape and she had apparently made good use of those extra years as her experience in the bed was a LOT greater than most of the Angeles girls I had met.
I finally made contact with her on day 3 in Angeles when we were at lunch, and she was VERY happy to hear from me and insisted that she’d be right over if I wanted to see her. I told her to meet me in an hour thinking that’d be plenty of time to get back and shave and shower, etc., but I got distracted and totally lost track of time looking at some of Epi’s EPIC pics of a full-on pussy licking 3-some of Blue Fox girls, including a big-titted one I knew. Epi had played photographer for quite awhile before joining in the action, and ended up getting close to two-HUNDRED pics with his HUGE high-end digital cam, with lens and flash attachments. Simply incredible stuff, and it’s worth all of you begging and pleading with him to take a 2-3 hour break from chasing Asian girls to SEND THE FUCKING PICS IN TO THE BOARD so you can all be wowed the way I was.
While viewing the pics in Epi’s ‘party room’, the phone rang and it was the front desk saying I had a ‘visitor’. Gotta put in another plug here for the Central Park staff, who knew where in the hotel I was without me even having mentioned it to them. GREAT service.
I came out to meet her a little self-conscious over not having had a chance to shave, but she was extremely excited to see me, and it is ALWAYS nice to have been missed. She looked great to me in her shorts and skimpy top (though she doesn’t have hardly and boob to her), and while I was a nice guy and offered to get her a drink at the bar, she said she just wanted to go to my room. NO PROBLEM! So off we went. And once we got in the room and traded showers, as I would have almost bet my LIFE on beforehand, this chick RAPED ME! Well, well, WELL worth the wait!
Despite all the sex I had had the day before and that very MORNING, with the help of half a vitamin V I had popped after coming back from lunch I was quite ready, willing and able. God bless that stuff, as even somebody 15 years younger than I am (mid-30’s) probably wasn’t made to have sex 5 times a day. One small problem, though, with all that boning, was that my dick was losing a bit of sensitivity and made it harder to cum – which wasn’t a problem with Private Dancer Girl because we just ended up boning ALL AFTERNOON. A little head turned into me going down on her turned into 69 turned into screwing in multiple positions turned into Porker getting WINDED turned into a mutual shower with my still swollen dick poking her the whole time.
Arriving back on the bed wearing towels led to making out and fooling around again, which led to another full-blown session shortly thereafter. While they all got progressively SHORTER, starting at about 45 minutes and finally ending up at about TEN, all-in-all we probably screwed-sucked-made out-fooled around for close to three hours.
But even after probably the FOURTH session where I ended up not being able to finish (and with PD Girl CURSING ‘viagra’, which I always laughingly denied using), my dick was still seemingly perpetually swollen, and with her rock hard ass and roughly stubbled shaved box alternating rubbing against my crotch, I couldn’t help but try and get it inside her again as we rolled naked around the bed. And as luck would have it, the 5th time was a charm as after a spirited 2 minutes of animal-esque thrusting on both our parts, I finally felt a load building and pulled my naked dick out and shot a little stream all over my fuck bunny’s midsection.
I think my FINALLY finishing was an epiphany for both of us. After one of the longest sexual marathons of my life, cumming finally happened after I had taken for granted that it wouldn’t after probably the third boning episode of the afternoon. And while PD girl ahd initially taken it as a challenge and looked to have hurt feelings that I couldn’t finish, she now seemed to be on top of the WORLD that she had yanked a load out of me when there was seemingly only AIR left in the pump. After hosing off we went back to lie atop of the thrashed over bed with air con blasting on our well worked over bodies and we ended up napping for an hour or so before my inability to sleep grabbed hold of me yet AGAIN in Angeles and led to us getting up and getting dressed. By the time we were finished it was actually time for PD Girl to go to work.
As I couldn’t imagine paying her any LESS than the full 1000 pesos for a LT barfine after one of the greatest sexual afternoons of my LIFE, I shoved a blue bill in her hand as she was kissing me and walking out the door while I promised that I’d see her ‘later’. Actually, I think if I was to see her more OFTEN I’d die of sexual exhaustion. While typing this swill back in the ‘World’, the thought occasionally arises of MARRYING this nympho that I have spent all of MAYBE a total of 2 hours with outside of her hooker bar/my room (naked). I figure that worst I could get out of the deal would be that she would fuck me to DEATH! Have I mentioned before that I kind of like Angeles City?
By now it was dinner time, and Epi and I decided that it was about time that we hit one of our favorite places from July, the dinner buffet at Molly Malones. Despite all the sexual gymnastics with PD girl, I was STILL a bit over-bloated from the MONSTROUS burger at SubDelicious at dawn, and just had a double pig’s side dish of spuds and gravy instead of the tasty full-on carved meat buffet that MM’s specializes in.
After I had sent Airport Girl off that morning before lunch, I was simply SURE that she would end up in my bed that night. With this as a GIVEN in my mind, and with short time visions dancing in my head prior to the marathon session with PD Girl in the afternoon, I had actually gone into the back offices at Camelot to try and check in to one of their deluxe rooms that I THOUGHT I had reserved for a week starting that day, 12/29.
As it turned out, I had made the reservation for 12/30, and fortunately I didn’t get the room as I wouldn’t have needed it as AG ended up vastly disappointing me. As always, in AC, though, with any situation not working out, there are always literally DOZENS of possible replacements just a short barhop away, and day 3 of my trip in Angeles would end up bearing this out.
Epi, Atravel and I ended up barhopping together to begin the evening, and as always I had a blast. We started out at Rhapsody, which while seemingly always EMPTY of customers inside always seemed to field a decent lineup throughout my trip. Epi almost immediately picked out a cutie (as well as a backup girl!) and was molesting both within seconds of calling them over. I didn’t see any in the lineup I couldn’t live without, but ended up calling a girl with a very NICE ass over and she immediately endeared herslf to me by starting a slow grind on the SWEET SPOT. She had a cute face (but MESSED up crooked teeth that seems all too common in the PI) and perky, if smallish, tits.
Normally I wouldn’t have thought twice about trying to barfine a girl like this, but her grinding got my attention, and she ended up driving home the point that her ass was REALLY nice and the rest of the 20 year old package was nothing but NUBILE. I did end up asking her all the preliminary barfine questions, and got iffy responses that screamed GO AWAY, though my experience in AC is that sometimes these answers result out of shyness rather than frigidity.
My Rhapsody girl claimed shyness, but I told her that I liked her enough to wait until she was HORNY enough to give me the answers I was looking for. She said she got horny when she was DRUNK, and while the drinks in AC are certainly cheap enough, I didn’t like her enough to want to waste an evening priming her pump. I pried Epi away from his ‘Miss Right NOW’ and exchanged numbers with my girl and told her to text me when she was HORNY. She laughed, but said she would.
After that there was a stop in Blue Fox where Epi had a slight bone to pick with the mamasan after his chicks from the night before had all copped to the same story about having hygiene check that morning and using it as an excuse to leave early. The mamasan played ‘hear no evil see no evil’ throughout, but we ended up having a bit of a conversation with the owner in the street outside the bar, and he was very engaging and a real font of info re: Angeles.
I ended up having to dash off and leave everyone in the street just past DMZ, tho, as I checked my phone and found three urgent messages from Airport Girl saying she was thinking about going ‘barhopping’ with her friends. She said that her friend’s ‘boyfriend’ was going to barfine a bunch of Camelot girls to go barhopping. While she sure made it sound innocent enough, and while I was well aware that she was on the rag (well, supposedly, as it would all turn out), I didn’t figure it was THAT big of a deal, but I did want to figure out what was to be happening later.
And she wasn’t at Camelot when I got there, though she assured me in texts that she wanted to come to my room in a little while and stay with me like usual. I was a little amused that she had chosen to be barfined, but again, didn’t think much of it due to the way she described things as just ‘barhopping’ and assuming she was on her period.
I ended up doing a little solo barhopping while getting occasional texts from AG telling me where she was. About 1 AM I headed back to the room and told AG I was waiting for her there. But about 1:30 she sent me a text saying that she was ‘dranck’ and was going home! Uh, WHAT??? She also told me that she wanted me ‘to be happy’ and to go get another girl! HUH??? Alarm bells started ringing.
Also about the same time my Rhapsody girl from earlier that night apparently hadn’t been barfined yet, and was trolling for a customer. I texted her back to ask her if she had suddenly gotten ‘horny’, and she assured me she had. We then proceeded through a litany of about 10 texts each trying to arrange her sneak out and what time she’d be coming to my room. She said Rhapsody closed at 2:30. I presumed that meant she’d show up at 2:31 as Central Park was about 40 yards away. Uh, not so fast…
At 2:27 Rhapsody Girl incurred my wrath by sending me a text saying ‘COME PAY MY BARFINE’, something that began a trend for the week that there is no accounting for BRAINS among AC bargirls! I had just wasted a solid HOUR texting back and forth with her while she missed the point of a SNEAK OUT (she’d get the same or MORE money instead of me paying the BAR). I let her know in no uncertain terms that she could go fuck HERSELF and I hoped that it’d be similarly lucrative.
So now DOUBLY scratching my head after having been let down by Airport Girl (though a bit HAPPILY, as I didn’t see much sex being in our future due to the rag situation) and the text game as well, I decided to shower and dress and head out to see what I could find for the night. As it was 3 AM when I was ready to go, I didn’t have a LOT of choices, as many bars close as early as 2 AM.
I knew Cambodia was open until 4, however, and it didn’t take much to convince me to head over there when a newbie to the Asia chat board named Travis said he was there pounding drinks. It was easy enough spotting him tucked away in the corner with a girl as there weren’t many customers in the place. It was definitely nice meeting him, and he clued me in on his adventures so far including meeting up with a rather psychotically jealous ‘regular’ girl and then hooking up with a cherry door girl from one of the Fields bars. While I doubt that I would have ever ended up in such bizarre circumstances in AC or anywhere else, I did say a silent ‘THANK YOU, LORD’ that I had had Epimetheus the Wise watching over virtually my every move in Angeles since before I had ever set foot there and guiding me into making semi-rational choices.
As we were about the only ones in the bar, it seemed only logical that the papasan there kept sending us over free drinks, and after downing a couple, one of the few dancers left onstage ended up catching my attention by pretending to hump several other girls with a balloon that had a phallic shape to it. She’d bust out laughing when she’d catch me looking, and at with the sands of time ticking at 3:30 AM, it didn’t take much for me to ask to bring her over.
And once she arrived the little Cambodia honey was all OVER me. Making out, shoving her chest into my face when I pulled her top aside and tried to get a taste of her susus (tits). Hands permitted to roam everywhere, including inside the bikini bottoms, enthusiastically grinding on the sweet spot when I put her on my lap… Looked for all intents and purposes that we had a winner!
But when I popped the question and said ‘do you want to go with me?’ my little fireball dancer ended up giving me only a lukewarm response. ‘UP TO YOU?’. Uh, WHAT??? So I asked again. ‘If you want me to’. Somebody on this past trip made a GREAT analogy to this situation, like the girl Eddie Murphy was originally set up with in Coming to America that liked ‘whatever YOU like’. And for me with THIS girl, I just saw it as yet MORE bullshit for the rather weird evening, said FUCK THIS, paid the tab and told Travis I was heading next door to Blue Nile!
Travis and the Cherry Girl would end up joining me at Blue Nile, but I ended up running into Omega and his barfine there as well. As usual Omega was a bit HAPPY, and kept trying to get me on the side stage to dance with some of the girls that were over there.
Now if there is one thing that I truly HATE in this world, it is dancing. I have NO rhythm whatsoever, and am extremely self-conscious about what my fat ass might look like shaking spastically while imagining every eye on the ridiculous sight that IS Porker getting his ‘groove on’. All in all, I’d rather give myself paper cuts.
But alcohol kind of dims inhibitions, and when I saw a girl that had previously worked at the then-closed Misty’s bar across the street that I had lusted after in July, energetically shaking her stuff with a friend of hers, I couldn’t help but stare and wish that I could somehow dance well enough to not embarrass HER!
Omega saw me staring and asked which one I liked, and when I blurted out ‘the blonde’ (not really, but in the bar light it looked like it), he immediately RAN over and tried to drag her to the table. While she was taken aback by the suddenness of his action, she did kind of trot behind him as she was pulled and stood kind of open-mouthed before me before I stammered a bit and asked if she would like a drink. She smiled and said ‘sure’, and turned out to be a very friendly, sweet girl.
I complimented her on her dancing, and she said she really liked to dance. Of course she then wanted ME to dance, and wouldn’t take no for an answer, pouting when I tried to put my foot down and say no WAY. I finally did summon some BALLS and allow myself to get dragged out to the floor with her, and she was all smiles trying to get me to relax. Why couldn’t things have been this easy for the last 20 years of my sad, sordid social life history???
As closing time was rapidly approaching, I figured I’d take a shot and break my Blue Nile cherry with this girl that I thought was just BEAUTIFUL. She was young, pretty, thin, and I even remembered cleavage from her Misty’s dancing days, though not much was apparent in her street clothes that she was in at the time. She was dressed that way because she said she was the door girl there and that she would only dance again if Misty’s re-opened.
I knew nothing about what to expect with this girl other than Blue Nile’s reputation for having AC’s relative ‘ice queen robobabes’. But I figured that she was certainly SUPER-cute, and for 18 bucks and at CLOSING time, even if I was only getting short time from her that I couldn’t really go wrong.
I offered to buy her dinner on the way back to the room, but she said she just wanted to go to my room with me, and that we could eat ‘later’. Again, my favorite response from a bargirl that day!!!
Upon arrival we ended up half-stripping and getting into bed with underwear/t-shirts on with the lights off and HBO on with full volume. Blue Nile girl cuddled up next to me and took the initiative a little bit and started kissing me. One thing led to another after that, and we eventually ended up naked and with me kissing my way down her nice little body. And all was well until my tongue ended up going inside her hairy little box. But as soon as it DID, my head jerked up so fast that I had to catch myself as I tried not to be too obviously alarming. I did manage a minor recovery and simply suggested, “Uh, we shower na?” ONE OF US sure needed one!
But of course once we got into the shower, she was quite happy to wash ME, but wanted NO part of me cleaning out HER stinky box! As close as my fingers were allowed to roam were down to her bush. And it wasn’t like SHE was volunteering to wash the ol’ snapper out herself either! She came by that stinky twat honestly, apparently!
While under normal circumstances I would like to think I would have just said ‘FORGET IT’ and tossed her back out, she had been very sweet to that point, and I was a bit drunk and STILL horny for her. I shrugged things off and we ended up back on the bed kissing and before I knew it she was climbing on top of me and riding pretty well. And her body was NICE, with a cute little ass that fit in the palm of my hand that was OH so squeezable. That I managed a couple of position changes with her before spooging was surely due to alcohol and a rather exTREME amount of sex to that point in the trip.
Blue Nile girl gave no hints at running when we were done, to my mild surprise, and instead molded herself into me and dozed off while I was lying there still smiling about how great it was to have such a hot young girl draped all over me. I thought briefly about Airport Girl and the bizarre events of the day with her, but eventually the warm-bodied cutie’s rhythmic breathing had me dozing off as well while extremely HAPPY that my dreams of paradise in the Philippines were being fulfilled.
Photos: Private Dancer 42 43 45
Photo: Blue Nile 46
Photo: Blue Fox Bar Hop 47
| By Blazers on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 02:24 pm: Edit |
Didnt you notice the potruding belly on Blue Nile girl...she was almost 5 months pregnant when you boned her. She is a door girl now because she is too pregnant to dance. Tried to claim it was mine. She is now 6 months pregnant but we fucked five months ago....I tried to explain the math to her but she still didnt get it. These girls are hilarious. She is much prettier in person and was a stellar at Mistys even before she purchased her teeth. And you are definately right about her being one of the sweetest girls alive and the stinkiest pussy. I'm starting to notice that we are all starting to fuck the same AC girls as there are very few stunners in the bars these days.
| By Porker on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 08:05 pm: Edit |
Blazers, didn't notice in the bar as she had on loose clothing, in the room, I just figured it was 'rice belly' -- not at all uncommon, as you know. It very much surprised me when you mentioned that she was pregnant in another thread.
I did think it was weird that such a cute Filipina was so down on her luck that she didn't even have a cellphone. Girls get them stolen (or more likely, pawn them) all the time, but they seem to be pretty resourceful in begging, borrowing or stealing to get another one in short order.
Re: her box smelling, there was a waitress at Blue Nile that was possibly even cuter than she was (actually they're similar looking but the other chick's taller) that had a box I could smell THROUGH HER CLOTHES from 2 feet away. Now THAT was bad!!!
| By Khun_mor on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 09:53 pm: Edit |
Porker
You are definitley getting me all worked up about my first venture into AC with stories about odiferous pussies !!
I think I'll utilize Epi and his magic fingers much as a King would use a food taster.
Hopefully he won't wreck them before he certifies them as " sanitized for your protection " !!!!!
| By Porker on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 11:06 pm: Edit |
KM, don't worry, while Blazers has run across this sort of thing more often than I have, my experience was that most boxes smelled and tasted just fine. And you are right, when all else fails Epi can certainly look out for you in that regard!
What was funny was that the Blue Nile girl with the box that reeked from two feet away was actually with HIM at the time! He's usually on his best behavior in that bar!
| By Epimetheus on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 07:50 am: Edit |
Didn't NEED to dip the digits. Her box smelled from quite a distance. No use tainting my digits anymore then necessary.
BTW, while I did not gather any empirical evidence, I would hazard her ass, BEFORE wiping, smelled better then her box!! Maybe her problem was she wiped back to front... heheh
E
| By Wallstreet on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 10:26 am: Edit |
I didn't mention it in my report, but I (thankfully) didn't run into any "stank boxes" while in AC; they all passed the sweetness test.
Based on reading reports here, I proceeded with caution every time, expecting the worst.
Porker: Bonus points for the appropriate use of the words Gourmand and Gourmet. For a guy who has to spend 14 hours on a Mexican Bus to get to civilization, you have an uncommon and rarefied sophistication.