My driver from the hotel took me straight to Eastiny Place on Soi 8 in Pattaya. A serviceable place, but nothing above decent. Still, located in the heart of the action. Many beerbars on Soi 7 and 8 so they would keep me busy enough. Scooter calls, saying we’ll meet up around 8pm. I go to the ATM, pull out a bundle, and expect a party.

He wanders up and we begin the tour. He explains how the bahtbus system works and soon we’re on Walking Street. We hit some AMAZING places!! Happy, Suberbaby, Peppermint – we were still in high season, and it was early in the evening, so the bars were flush with talent. We eye-humped all the hotties!!

We end up at another out-of-the-way club off Walking Street. This place is NOT filled with hotties!! What the DO have are ultra-aggressive trolls that will fuck you through the bed and floor!!

One “plumpy” comes up to me asking for a drink. As she’s asking she’s snakes a hand up my shorts and began some aggressive meat massage. The girls here wear nothing except small wraps around their waists. Since there’s no pesky panties in the way, I dip a digit from my left hand into her box and another from my right hand into her ass. OK, she’s just earned that drink!! She continued jacking me off for about 10 minutes. Soon she bored of our little party and moved on.

A “replacement” offered itself immediately. I switched hands so the right was in the pink while the left was in the stink. She pulls my dick out of my shorts and tries to stuff it up her ass, dry, while we play. I’m standing at the bar and my dick is so hard a cat couldn’t scratch it and this girl is trying to insert my cock into her ass. Ain’t life grand…?

She excuses herself and goes to the bathroom. I give her 30 seconds and follow her in. She’s just finishing up her business in there. I pull out my dick and instead of pointing at the urinal I aim it at her. She bends over at the waist and sucks my dick for a good 20 seconds. She then straightens, checks her hair in the mirror, and exits. I’ve got a boner that could drive nails into a wall and now I’ve got to pee. I go over to the urinal, pull my shorts to the side, and cut lose with a stream that completely clears the urinal and hits the wall above it!! Oh well, not like I’m mopping it up…

I make a mental note to come back tonight after my guided tour. We then hit some other interesting places including Soi 6 and a few other “interesting” locations. I was now armed for the rest of the trip down there. Back to my trolls!!

I walk back in with 20 minutes to spare. My little tart approached me with sin in her eyes. We sit together and contemplate the future. She agrees with ALL my demands and offers an option: her friend to join us. She waves her friend over and I take a look. This girl has a body that could stop traffic, but a face that could break the mirror!! No matter, she says she’ll be a team player and so she’s added to the roster. I pay mamasan and the girls toddle off to change.

Soon, we’re all on our way back to Soi 8. The new girl stops by a street vendor to buy some fried grasshoppers. Mental note to make sure she brushes REAL GOOD before any kissing goes on!! We hit the minimart by the hotel for refreshments (and toothpaste) and off to the room.

The girls go outside for insects and a smoke. After, showers and brushing all around. It’s GAMETIME!! My original girl is the primary aggressor while her friend offers support. I get the 2 girl BJ action, I get to eat one while I fuck the other, I even get to fuck one while SHE eats the other!! Good times indeed. At one point I was fucking my first girl in the ass while the second one was licking her pussy and my balls!! Guess I made the right decisions…

The next morning was a lazy version of the night before. Not as frantic, not the same level of octane, but fun nonetheless. Afterwards, breakfast is served and they are on their way.

Remember, they ain’t pretty, but they sure are effective!!

Photos: Team Players 182 183 184 185 186 187

They drained all my energy and fluids so I was sated for the rest of the day. That night I tried another cruise down Walking St. I hit many places, but just don’t feel the right vibe that night. Different attitudes make for different vibes. I wander the town, but find nothing that really flipped my switch.

I end up on Soi 8 looking for someone to keep me warm. It’s here that I find my next victim. She’s cute, fun and speaks 10 words of English. She’ll do all that’s required and maybe a bit more. It’s back to my room for a shag and sleep.

Photos: 10 Words 188 190 191 192 193 194 195

The next morning I head downstairs with my little princess in tow. As we’re eating breakfast and trying to communicate with her phrasebook I run into a gent I met in BKK. We both met through Nung and began to talk about what a wonderful girl she is. Soon enough we come around to something that was “inconsistent” in her story. She told him one thing, and she told me another. It wasn’t a BIG lie, but it was still a lie.

This reinforced what I learned about bargirls from my adventures in the PI: regardless of where they are from, they are still a product of the bar and so cannot be trusted. A shame really as I could have gone sloppy over that girl. Guess she did me a favor by lying to me.

We both had a good laugh and went our separate ways. I took my girl back up to the room for another roll in the hay and she went on her way.

I was back on the prowl and found an interesting girl at the local internet café while I was there reading my morning email. We arranged to meet later that day for lunch. When we hooked up, we had a good time. She wasn’t very pretty, but had a REMARKABLY tight body!! She told me she was menstruating, but was suppose to finish today and so would be happy to help me out.

Back in the room I discovered how really capable she was!! She required a condom for the BJ (WTF?!?!) but the BJ was EPIC!! I’m the kind of guy that NEVER cums from a BJ, but this girl almost made me lose it with a condom on!! She draped her pussy across my chest and I played with her PERFECT ass while she tore into my clad cock. Soon, she slithers down my body and buries my dick in her box in RCG. She REALLY knows how to move and soon she’s got me worked up!! I’m doing ALL I can not to cum!! We switch around a few times and I finally drop my load. Looked at the clock as she was getting ready and realized she was with me for almost 4 hours!! This was shorttime that wasn’t really short. I give her a fistful of baht and send her home.

Photos: CBJ Master 196 197 198 199

You ever find yourself attracted to someone and can’t explain why? Well, that’s that happened this night. Maybe it was the glasses, gooney laugh or dorky smile, but this one just seemed right for the job. I found her at a Soi 8 beerbar and within minutes of meeting her we were walking up the street holding hands. In my room she was more playful then voracious, but that worked out for me that night. We had our fun that night, and the next morning too!!

Photos: Gooney 200 201

This next day I was on FIRE!! Since I’d never had a “true” soapy, I decided it was time to try one. Off to Sabai Dee Massage on Soi 3 and Second St. I got there just after 1pm, so the selection wasn’t the greatest. I looked at what was available (roughly 20 girls) and decided on #222 as her tits looked nothing short of incredible in that prom dress she was wearing!!

Soon our deal is struck and we head upstairs. We begin with the scrubbing and soon get to the slip-n-slide portion of the show. REMARKABLE!! Now, the lady was a BITCH, but she was a CAPABLE BITCH!! Really gave me the full soapy experience.

Now, this is kind of interesting. I had hurt my back a few days before and was experiencing a lot of pain. I knew what was wrong and asked my friend if he knew of any chiropractors in town. He was drawing a blank, but said it would look into it. Well, as I was laying on my belly on that inflatable mattress with the massage lady’s ass crack sliding up and down my spine, she passed over the part of my back that was bothering me. Imagine my surprise when my back “popped” back into place!! We both heard and felt it as my back readjusted. She was concerned that she’d hurt me. Quite the contrary – I hadn’t felt that good in DAYS!!

What I didn’t like about her was her unwillingness to fuck, suck and kiss. She would suck for a minute or two and then want to stop. Eh? What’s that all about. Then, we fuck for 3-4 minutes and she’s asking why I haven’t cum yet. “Maybe because fucking you is like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.” Then, I go for kisses and she’s all but leaping off the bed. Well, guess that’s one we can chalk up to experience…

Walked away with mixed feelings. The soapy portion of the event, to steal a line from Tony the Tiger, was grrrrreeEAAAAAAT!!!!!!!! Also, the adjustment to my spine cost FAR less then having my local chiropractor do the deed (and was more pleasant too!!). However, it was all the OTHER stuff that SHOULD have gone along with it that I found missing. Guess I should go back and sample some other ladies.

Photos: Sabai Dee 202 203 204

I walk down the street and find a massage place that is DIRT CHEAP!! They assign me a rather frumpy, chunky Thai lady who takes me into a room with one million curtain dividers and plunks me down among the masses for my oil massage. The first hour was nothing short of delicious as she worked out any and ALL remaining kinks in my spine. On the flip she began working my joint and working it GOOD!!

Now, I’m in the middle of a room, filled with people ALL getting “traditional” massage and I’ve got a RAGING boner in this lady’s hand and she’s jacking me off at 100mph!! I decide I need the “oral” upgrade. She helps me gather all my things and we flee the scene to a “private” room – basically a small closet with only two cubicles!!

Once we get settled, out come the hand gestures regarding pricing and options. For those that have done this ANYWHERE in the world we all know the language is the same. As we’re working out the pricing for our little soiree it was evident the guy next to me was getting a REMARKABLE BJ!! There was some low grunting, accompanied by her periodic, involuntary, lip-smacking sounds. I struggled not to laugh!!

We settle on FS (it was cheap and I was HORNY!!) and her clothes get flung to the four corners of our cloth cube. Her mouth closes around my cock and she begins to work it. At one point I think the sheet I’m sitting on will come up through my ass and out the end of my cock!! She could take it deep (well, deep for MY small cock!!) and worked EVERYTHING!! My salad was tossed, balls cleaned and dick slobbered on. At one point I even changed things up a bit and “teabagged” her!! On to the boom2 and this lady REALLY understood how to use that box!! I would have tried to hook up with her later if she wasn’t so damn dumpy looking!!

After the finish I limp off to the shower to scrub off all the oil. Now that I’m clean I’m ready to face the pooying again!!

OK, I was thinking about including the pics of her, but I don’t want any of my pics to get a 0!! OK, she wasn’t THAT bad looking, but I decided to just not send those pics into Hombre. I’m expecting a shitstorm with some of the pics I have, no use LOOKING for any more trouble!!

My first night in Pattaya, I met a mamasan name Tukta while barhopping with Scooter. This lady wasn’t the thinnest, or the prettiest, but I KNEW she was capable!! Now, it’s not like she’s UGLY, but she’s not gonna work at Happy-a-go-go unless she’s a mamasan. Anyway, stopped by her beerbar a few times and had a good time. We kept trying to hook up, but it never happened. I decided tonight was the night to hunt this bunny.

I called her and she was receptive for a party later that evening. I spent a few hours recuperating after my two massages and finally got up around 10pm, took my shower, and headed out. Got there and she was waiting. We did the “you buy me drink” dance first and threw some dice, but I wasn’t here to play or drink. She arranged for transportation back to the hotel and soon we were pulling up in front of Eastiny Place.

Back in the room she attacks me!! Clothes are flying EVERYWHERE and she’s all over me. An incredible BJ followed by her shoving me down on the bed, mounting me and driving herself to two orgasms!!

Now, this is where it gets a little… odd. After she came the second time she climbed off the bed, took a shower and then started to get ready to leave. Realize I had not cum yet. WTF?!?! I was USED!!!! AHHAHAAHAHHAHAH!! Felt good too!! Here are the pics of the woman that ravaged me. Still trying to find her for another adventure.

Photos: Mamasan Tukta 205 206

After Tukta left I was understandably dazed. What a GREAT LAY, but with an “unusual” finale. Decided to go out and hunt up another piece of meat. There was a girl that resembled pure chocolate down the street. She was another one of those “I wanna bang it, but I don’t know why” girls. I returned to her bar to strike a deal. She agreed to LT and we were off.

Back in the room, it became apparent she was NOT going to be a good lay. Oh well, I still wanted to drop a load and so she ended up being “good enough”. One nice grudgefuck and I was off to sleepyland.

Photos: Pure Chocolate 207 208

Next day I woke up, stuffed her one more time, then sent her on her way. Guess it’s time to get back to Soi 6.

I hit Soi 6 about 2pm and found someone that was decent looking. She was also a 3holer. OK, we’ve got a deal!! We head upstairs and she’s good to her word. We screw for close to an hour. I didn’t think about taking my pics until AFTER we screwed. The pics are of her wearing a TON of that hideous white makeup and sweating like crazy in that hot room. That’s life here in Asia.

Photos: Soi 6 209 210 211

Last night in Pattaya and I decide I’m going to see my buddy’s bar. I get directions from him over the phone and head out to Jomtien.

I enter The Blue Note and am impressed!! I meet a couple of the girls working there. One is new and kind of “bland” and the other is completely INSANE!! She walks up to me, asks me if I speak Thai, then proceeds to talk to me in nothing but Thai for the whole evening!! She’d walk up, tell me a joke and start laughing. My friend tells me she does this all the time. So, I decide if SHE’S gonna have some fun with this so would I. So begins the “Battle of the Non Sequiturs”. She’d throw out something in Thai and I would answer with something useless in English: “I like mine with cheese”, “shave the blue stairs”, “ground porcelain tastes like chicken” and the like. We got along perfectly!!

Soon, my friend offers the short time room upstairs. It’s got a table and hottub. He tells me if I pay one girls bar, he’ll let me take both shorttime. Such a deal!! I opt for the crazy one and the bland one.

We head upstairs and the fun begins. Soon, I’ve got two girls pretending it’s karaoke night and I’m the microphone. After a bit of prompting I line them up for a bit of “porn star” side-by-side action. Dip one, then the other, then back to the first… you get the idea. Soon enough their attention prompts a response from my dick.

Photos: Crazy and Bland 212 213 215 216

I was so fond of the crazy one that I kept her for the night. We headed back to Soi 8. When the bahtbus dropped us at Second and Soi 8 there was some commotion. Turns out some Aussie gents were a bit drunk and making some trouble with the Thai owner of the bar. This was a BAD idea!! I see the Thai man walk over to his moto and pull out a pipe. One of the taller guys looked like a bodybuilder and was SUPER BULKY!! The Thai guy swung that bar and the Aussie’s nose erupted in a vesuviul fountain of claret. They all ran for the jeep – the big guy leaving sinuous, vermeil rills tracing across his wifebeater shirt.

Within a minute everything was as it was before all the commotion. Guess this city just absorbs such outbursts and accepts them as normal. A quick reminder that this is not necessarily a safe place and life is cheap.

I get the crazy girl back to my room and I have a surprise waiting for me. I forgot I set an appointment for one of the foot massage girls from my favorite place to meet me at the hotel. She was sitting patiently hoping I would turn up. Well, this makes for an… interesting combo!!

I don’t wanna bang the 40 year old massage lady so I lay on the bed, on my back and she starts giving me a massage. Well, she initiates some handling of Ol’ Jim and the Twins and soon enough he’s standing at attention. She then grabs the crazy girl’s hand, greases it up, and now she’s giving me the HJ. Minutes later my crazy girl is naked and bouncing on my dick in CG while the massage lady massages my balls and crazy’s titties!! This is getting INTERESTING!! Soon I’ve dropped another load and I’m spent.

We’re not done yet. Soon, massage lady gives the crazy girl a massage!! We both doubleteam her. Massage lady is playing with crazy’s pussy and titties. I’m kissing her while crazy’s playing with my dick. Things get a bit heated and I’m eating out crazy while the massage lady plays with crazy’s titties. Soon, we’re screwing AGAIN!! No milk left, but still fun!!

Sent massage lady on her way with some money. Off to sleep. More pics of the crazy girl:

Photos: Crazy 217 218 219

Next day crazy heads out and I go back to Bangkok. I check back into Dynasty Inn and go back to Annies and get a soapy. Joi was very accommodating once again!!

I then headed back over to Charming 2. I hooked up with two girls there and we started joking and having a good time. I didn’t wanna bang them, just had fun chatting. It was almost time for them to finish work so we arranged to meet at a restaurant. Both were fun to hang out with!! Soon, the “meatier” one let it be known that she was fond of me and wanted to stay with me for the night. She asked me to pay her barfine so she could stay. She named a RIDICULOUSLY low amount for her tip saying she just wanted to stay with me. She stayed with me the rest of the night and most of the next day.

I realize this girl’s NOT gorgeous, but she’s as sweet as the day is long. I debated putting her picture up as I figured most would crucify her, and me. I am happy she’s out of the bar scene as she’s way too sweet to be working there.

Photos: Not Gorgeous 220 221

I decided my last night in Thailand would include an attempt for a trophy so it was prep time and I’m off to Nana Plaza. Wandered the second floor on the right side this time. Had I known, I would have entered Mandarin and NEVER COME OUT!! Instead, I walked past all the bothersome doorgirls at the top of the escalator and found my way into a few other places.

I poked my head into a few places and was not interested in anything I saw from the door curtain. The third place I entered, not sure of the name, had a real sweet girl smiling back at me. I bought her a drink and, of course, she immediately went off to dance. Finally, she came back and we talked it up some. Seems she was new to the bar scene and was super sweet. I asked her if she wanted to spend the evening with me – she said yes and it was GAME ON!! She changed, we finished our drinks, grabbed some dinner and it was off to the room!! She even went with me to the airport the next day. What a gal!!

Photos: Super Sweet 222 223 224 225 226 226

Back to the Philippines…

E

"I switched hands so the right was in the pink and the left was in the stink"......classic shit.
AND
"The girls go outside for insect and a smoke".....only in Thailand. And they expect you to kiss them after that.

These short, succint stories are great.

Epi
You and I are not playing the same game. No way will I ever keep up with your pace. I think you will likely tear up 2-3 girls while I am still sitting in the bar getting to know my newest next wife !!
Great report--- very descriptive indeed !!

Blazers - glad you enjoyed the report!! I've not sat down to write a full report in quite some time. Mostly it was brief emails to my friends stateside rubbing my good fortune in their faces.

Praise from EPIC report writers like you and Porker does the ego a world of good!!

KM - I've "slowed" a bit since this frantic pace. You're gonna be hanging out with a calm, collected, tamed Epi. Don't worry - we'll wander the town and just have fun.

Glad you too are enjoying these. Hope I have time to write more in the next few days.

E

Yeah
I remember all your e mails and pics . Torture reading about your exploits on a daily basis while having to think about getting up in the AM to go to work !!
At least this time I'll be a live witness !!

Oh BTW Epi.

I now have Da gettin big time serious trying to get me to spend my time with her, not you. I am a big softie as far as she is concerned , but so far I'm holding tight with plans to go balls out for the foirst time in a couple of years. Some payback for the little sweetie as well. I think she knows why I am doing this and that's why she is determined to change my mind.

Maybe if I get bored, I'll go to BKK for a while and see her - Yeah that'll happen !!

I've found that when I catch them lying it REALLY makes it easier to say "no"!! Stay strong my brotha'!! Don't get bamboozled by that gorgeous gal!! We'll find you some delicious 3-holers to take your mind off her. I could always hook you up with my terrorist from Eden Club. She'd cure you of the "Da blues"...

E

Photos fully integrated into this chapter. 226 and counting...

I like the second picture of chocolate girl. Very cute little spinner with great skin and smile.