As I’m a little tired of reporting now, on my 4th day in Angeles I woke up early after only a couple hours of sleep. Blue Nile girl started stirring when I did, but I actually had little desire for a second round within 3 hours of the first with her. Maybe it was all the sex up to that point in the trip, maybe it was the stinky box episode from earlier, but I encouraged her to shower and get dressed and leave 200 pesos richer.

As Epimetheus hadn’t been out as late as me the night before, he was actually up before 11 as well, and we again decided on Margarita Station for breakfast. While there Airport Girl started texting me telling me a lot of stuff about how she was extremely sorry about what had happened the night before and that she hoped that I was able to have fun without her and how she had missed me, blah, blah, blah. It’s funny, while I remember being a bit pissed initially that she wasn’t waiting around at my beck and call like usual that night, and got a LITTLE upset when she hadn’t come over the night before after ‘barhopping’, that morning I was actually kind of glad to have had a break from her and had a good time (albeit with a very late start) at Cambodia and Blue Nile the night before.

I spent a little time on Santos St. that afternoon and had a good time BS’ing with a number of girls there, but for the most part didn’t see any that were really that tempting. Again, non-horniness was conspicuous by its presence. I did spend some time at Blue Parrot and got a little smitten with a girl named Gin (immediately dubbed ‘GinTonic’), and after awhile got an idea to hook up with her and the legendary Mackie (apparently now retired from Blue Parrot) at the same time.

Gin was young and little, with a tight little body, though not an extremely hard body, which are actually unusual for AC bargirls. And while not a screaming beauty, she was definitely CUTE, maybe the cutest girl I saw on Santos that week, though Donna was rather attractive as well. Gin said she knew Mackie and said that yes, they would work well together, so I called Mackie and she said she’d come over. Of course THEN I got the idea that Epi might like some of this action too, and the next thing I knew I was planning a 4-some in the party room – plans that somehow never came through.

I sent Gin to ‘get acquainted’ with Epi and was planning to head over when Mackie arrived, but Mackie flaked and didn’t show up so I ended up taking a little nap (TOPEKA!) instead. Definitely my loss, as Epi reported that Gin was well worth the 500 pesos and she ended up being booked with an honest to God WAITING LIST for several days after that as a bunch of Asia-based tourists and Manila-based ex-pats arrived in town and swelled the mongering ranks in anticipation of New Year’s weekend revelry.

Later that afternoon I started the barhopping early, starting at a bar on Santos that actually had Fields-style entertainment with a few girls in bikinis onstage. But walking in and seeing a half dozen girls onstage being IGNORED by an otherwise rather busy bar was a bit weird. There were a bunch of ex-pats in there having a gay old time sitting around in circles with each other and drinking beer. I’d call it Pattaya-esque, but they were all apparently American and all had their shirts on, and they were in air-conditioned comfort afterall.

The Caddyshack lineup was generally nothing to write home about, but I had remembered that a former girl of the month on the www.rickcafe.com (a website which features big-titted AC girls) had reported in her bio that she worked there. And sure enough, a mere GLANCE at the stage led to one dancer sticking out well in front of the others due to some rather MASSIVE cleavage.

As I sat stageside (like usual when I’m alone) and the girls were probably bored out of their MINDS being totally ignored by everyone present, I got a lot of attention immediately upon sitting down. And when the big-titted girl started smiling at me, it didn’t take much to convince me to call her down for a drink.

Standing next to me, though, she looked almost like a midget! The girl was MAYBE 4-10, and ALL tits. Well, and tummy… She had bulked up a bit since her pics had been taken the previous winter or so. The big-titted shorty’s name was Erma, but she got a big laugh when she told me initially that it was ‘BUBBLES’!!! With her immense grin and twin king-sized floating devices, the name fit her to a tee! And she seemed like a very sweet girl to boot.

But there was just something (maybe a LACK of alcohol to that point in the day???) that told me that barfining at 5 in the afternoon wasn’t a good idea. Actually the more I looked at her, the more she reminded me of the VERY iffy-looking Vicky of Santos fame that I had stalled on several times in July beofre finally giving her a chance to take my load. I did end up telling her that I was staying at the Central Park and giving her my room number and telling her to come over at midnight when she got off work. Of course she said she would, but I have bo idea if she ever showed up or not because I wasn’t there. I’m pretty sure she didn’t.

Epi and I hit Hole in the Wall restaurant for dinner and tried their 18 oz. Porterhouse (they also have 36 oz. Cut if you’re frickin’ Paul Bunyan or something), and it was merely decent despite the raves that some ex-pats had written on a local board. The fatty parts were fine, but as Epi pointed out, good beef is not supposed to be that chewy. Still, not at all a bad value for the 300 pesos.

After getting a couple of texts from Flaca where she seemed nervous that she’d never see me again, I went into Voodoo and bought her a couple of drinks while Epi headed for his shave at Romey the barber’s on Santos. I did get pangs to barfine Flaca, but was expecting that night to be reserved for Airport Girl again – despite thoughts that Airport Girl was supposedly still on the rag. So I successfully resisted Flaca’s charms and told her the offer still stood to come over in the morning and pledge her soul to me!

As I had been pretty exclusively patronizing the same bars for my first few nights, I decided to move faster for some hit and runs that night and see at least MOST of the bars on Central Fields. I started at Welcome Inn, and found out that the reasons I had HATED that bar in July were still in full force at the end of the year: Girls onstage standing around, not even bothering to do the famed ‘AC shuffle’. Zero energy is baaaad news for an AC bar, and obviously no one in the bar gave a shit.
Next up was Bananitas next door, a place I had spent a little time on my last trip because I was smitten by a girl there. I had kept in contact with the girl and knew she was in Manila (and possibly pregnant – but I am 99% sure that was all a scam to see if I’d become a money-ko). I bought a drink and sat stageside and chatted with a couple of the pretty friendly girls there, a couple I had met via Epi who had had a 4some one night with them and snapped pics of one curled up in a blanket on the FLOOR as there was no room in his bed at the Orchid. There were also some girls I recognized from pics on the internet, and they looked even better in person.

But I was blown AWAY by the looks of one girl who took the stage for the second rotation, and quickly called her down for a drink. I would have barfined that girl in a SECOND no matter what her attitude, as she was easily the hottest girl I had seen that day, if not on the trip. But when her drink came it quickly got established that she was a dreaded Cherry Girl, something my brain should have immediately told me when she was 40% better looking than the rest of a rather decent lineup!

I thought she was hot enough to actually consider proposing a barfine and some alternatives to actual boom boom. But she apparently had as much interest in those activities as I had in investigating the Billy Boy (TV) bars on Santos… I wished the cherry girl luck, but I wasn’t in the mood to sit there and talk about soap operas or something with some teenaged ice queen. About halfway through MY drink I simply told the waitress to bring me change for 500 and got up and left, a bit disgusted with myself that I had contributed to AC’s version of ficha-based welfare.

10 feet to my right was Treasure Island, and I was seated stageside and had a drink in front of me before I actually had a chance to see that there were only 5 girls in the whole bar, the best looking one busy entertaining a tableful of guys. The girls onstage (one of which is a rather famous ex-Santos girl that had recently won a local dance contest) tried quite hard to interest me, and I know all it takes is ONE to make you happy, but I remembered the tiny, cramped TI as being full of life the last time I was there, but this time it just seemed dead. Besides, I was in the mood for some HOOTERS that night, and hadn’t seen any to that point that were interesting. Well, besides the cherry girl’s poppin’ fresh ones at Bananitas!

Owl’s Nest was next, and I can’t remember anything about the club that had been there in July, not sure if I had ever been inside. This place actually had a decent number of dancers milling about, but I didn’t sit down to have a look because I didn’t see the tits that were on my mind at the time. Nor anything remotely remarkable that I wanted to look at some more.

Epi ended up meeting me at the next stop, Angels, and we had a drink. I didn’t find much of interest, but Epi commented several times on a rather tall girl with very long hair. As is often the case with me in Angeles, I think I tend to get a little blinded by seeing tons of girls in bikinis, to the point where they ALL look the SAME and none stand out. Looking for an overstuffed bra almost becomes an obsession for me after a certain point, and I was getting a little unhappy that I wasn’t seeing what I was looking for.
Crossing to the other side of the street, we headed first to Liquor Box, the bar that occupies the former Voodoo space (Voodoo is now located in a back corner of Kokomoz alongside Fields), and the lineup in THAT PLACE was NOTHING resembling the cookie cutter lineup in others. First of all, the ‘girls’ were not wearing bikinis with panty liners underneath, but rather regular underwear – panties and bras – which normally would have been a sight for sore eyes and pretty sexy. Except the ‘girls’ at Liquor Box looked to either be on average TWICE the age of girls in other bars, or DOUBLE their weight, or SEVERELY UGLY, or, in the case of a select few, ALL OF THE ABOVE! This place was in rather severe need of a ‘talent acquisition specialist’!

La Bamba was the last stop on the Central Fields small-bar hop, and was completely unremarkable in any way. It’s a bar. They have girls. The girls wear bikinis. The girls try to get you to buy them a drink and then get you to pay their barfine. It was all running together in a blur, and I needed a rest.

I decided to leave Epi to his devices and go solo to see Airport Girl at Camelot, as I hadn’t seen her the night before due to rather bizarre excuses, and I missed her and wanted to get her and leave. And she came over and sat next to me as soon as I walked in and ordered a drink, refusing one for herself several times. Of course she soon refused to talk to me, as well, and I got VERY confused as to what the HELL was going on. In the end I almost BEGGED her to say SOMETHING, ANYTHING as with her attitude at the time I might never see her again after that. Nothing. Oh well. Easy come, easy go? I paid my tab and left scratching my head.

My best guess as to what had happened in hindsight was that AG was juggling customers and had been barfined the night before and had already been barfined that night too. Of course she and her friends ended up trying to make it seem like she was just extremely emotional over me and wanted to not get ‘too close’ so she pushed me away… Whatever.

Kind of in a daze, I walked into Brown Sugar next door and sat at the bar, and this place looked anything BUT like the cookie cutter bars I had been in earlier. For one thing, they had a TON of girls on a rather small stage, and a second shift that replaced the first in short order. Lots of girls in a normal sized bar is always a good equation.

I got a lot of stares at Brown Sugar, and it felt good to have that kind of attention. I stared back at a few and they’d look away and giggle like little girls. But as usual, the most aggressive one got the most attention after they exited the stage, and I soon had a decently cute (but apparently a little older) girl sitting next to me. We were soon kissing as her drink was brought to her, and all of a sudden Airport Girl was completely forgotten!

Brown Sugar girl ended up having friends hovering around, and as I was ready to spend some pesos in the name of a party, I ended up buying the friends drinks too. The friends wouldn’t crack any mirrors, but they never really tempted me to barfine them either. Taking a pic of them led some waitresses to ask me to take their pics too, and while one of THEIR faces might INDEED have cracked a mirror or two in her day, I obliged.
I’m not sure if I thought that the Brown Sugar girls were drinking too fast when I declined to buy them another drink or if I just got a pang of monger’s conscience about spending too freely on drinks, but I decided to not buy any seconds drinks and just leave for the next bar. I had fun in Brown Sugar that night, but just wasn’t that into the girls on my lap.

Heading into a quite crowded Bunny Ranch next door, however, had me drooling immediately over several choices. After I remembered my lesson from earlier that night at Bananitas and confirming my target wasn’t a cherry girl, I called a cute young girl down from the stage and had a couple of drinks with her. She didn’t talk much and I couldn’t really get any feel for her personality (assuming she had ONE!), but the more I looked at her (Sandra), the more I thought she was HOT. So, as I finished my drink, I kind of casually asked her if she wanted to go with me. And she said sure – but ‘short time only’! WHAT THE FUCK?

I politely told her that I didn’t play games like that when I was paying a full barfine. I then said that I like short time too, but in the daytime, when it was convenient for ME. We exchanged numbers and while I was a little pissed at her short time demands in the bar, she did seem cute enough to get away with it, and fully intended to try and hook that up with her at some point.

But as I was waiting to pay the tab, a friend of AG’s that I had never met came over and said that “Airport Girl she at Camelot and she crying. She see you with other girl.” The girl then walked off while I was waiting for my change.

While I didn’t feel guilty in the least for what I had done – I was there to woo and screw and had been sverely RUDELY blown off by AG an hour earlier, I also still really liked AG and am a severe sucker for girls crying. So when I paid the tab, I headed the short distance back to Camelot, sat and and ordered a drink, and saw neither AG or her friend.

Shortly after I got there, I got ANOTHER text saying ‘AG’s in CR of LANCELOT crying’. So, of course, Porker the fool paid up and went over to Lancelot to look for her. Of course she wasn’t there. I ran into Epi on the way out, and he gave me great advice and said to just FORGET HER. But I didn’t listen, and over the next several hours her friend would text me and tell me how AG was supposedly drunk and crying untrollably at home. Nice touch giving your friend your phone to play games with the barfine you dissed by accepting some other guy’s invitation instead.

A few more drinks and I decided (to Epi’s utter DISGUST!) that I was simply not in the mood for any more bullshit for that night, from ladies drinks hustle to ‘short time only’ demands to BULLSHIT from AG, so I decided I’d try my luck at playing the ‘can Porker actually get some SLEEP TONIGHT’ game at about 1:30 AM. And to my surprise, I actually did drift off for a few hours. Maybe I should get dumped on by bargirls more often!

Photos: Caddyshack 48 49 50 51
Photo: Brown Sugar 52

I was wondering if you were ever going to restart your reports, then I see how long a report for ONE DAY can be!! This is the same length as my whole stay in Pattaya in Feb!! No wonder they take some time to pound out...

When you return I hope all your drama queens have moved out of AC and you're able to meet a whole NEW batch of girls to tug on the strings of your heart (and dick).

E

I hope this saga gets better cause it sounds like these wives are ruining your trip and fuckin' with your head so far, I hope eventually listen to Jedi Epi and learn the ways of the force. The Bananitas cherry girl you were smitten by was probably Jenny, who is, the best looking girl in Angeles, along with Angel from Chapangne Bar(also cherry). I was ready to marry that chick as she is the only one that I had not seen with her Filipino boyfriend INSIDE that shitty bar.

Yeah, it picks up volume-wise as I started doing a lot of freelancers and short-times. But the drama on the day I wrote about was pretty thick and not much fun. Of course AG still ´loves me´. And I her. Uh huh.

Blazers

Jenny is, no shit, the HOTTEST GIRL IN THAT TOWN!! She's got great cans, incredible body and a cute face. What's not to love (other then she's as smart as a brick...)

Porker

I know she loves you and only you. I can tell it's the real kind of love by the way she lies to you about barfining with another man. Her body's for other men, but she saves her heart and mind (yes, all three cells) for you.

E

Photo: Gin 53
Photos: Brown Sugar 54 55

The one in the middle on the Brown Sugar pic is very pretty....I will have to seek her out on my next trip.