The flight on Kuwait Air dropped me into BKK about 1:30am and there were NO lines at customs!! I was literally the first person up there. Everything was carryon so I arrived back at DI about 1 hour after landing. I was tired so crashed for the evening.

Woke up a couple of hours later, wide awake, with a boner. I decided to see what was available on Sukhumvit in the freelancer department. Turns out that 7am is NOT a good time to shop for pussy!! I finally find two UGLY women that want to spend quality time on my boner. They were stragglers that were left over from the pickins’ the evening before. They promised to be “cooperative”, but not “interactive” and that was acceptable. I wasn’t completely thrilled with the prospect of seeing these two naked (they are NOT pretty), but the small brain signed the bill into law. Lucky I kept my key in my pocket so I could go the back way. There was NO way I wanted the cute girls at the front counter to know I’ve been with such trolls.

Back to the room, showers all around, and they double-teamed me. It was actually good!! There was tongue wrestling with my dick in the middle and while one would ride the twig, the other would diddle the berries. After the finale they went away with 400B each. Before you look at the pics, remember I only paid 400B EACH!!

Photos: Two Uglies 530 531 532

Back to bed for some sleep. Eventually my phone rang and my girl from Annie’s wanted to see me again. We’d spent some “quality” time together a few times and so I decided I was going to BF her LT. Went there, paid the 2000B, and she was mine for 24 hours.

One of the reasons I paid her bar was help with apartment hunting. She knew some decent places, but I wasn’t interested in paying 15-25k baht/month for a place I would be at 1/3 of the year. We have a good time going around town, eating, playing, just having fun. Eventually we work our way back to my room. That night and the next day, until she needed to return to Annie’s, we were together.

Photos: Annie's LT 533 534

That night, I headed back to Tequila Bar by Rajah Hotel for my 3-hole monkey. While I’m there I meet a couple of other girls that seem new to the scene and sweet. I ask the monkey if she wants company for the night and she approves of both choices.

We head out for dinner at the place on Soi 7. Sure enough, all 3 girls eat like wolves!! Lucky for me it’s pretty cheap there. They eat so damn much food our table had to be cleared a few times. Still came in under $20US. Not a bad deal seeing as they ate shrimp and a GIANT fish!!

We go barhopping a bit, but it’s not the same as barhopping in the PI and I don’t like it. Soon we are on our way back to the hotel. My monkey tells me she doesn’t want to share me with the other girls and gives me a “them or me” ultimatum. Well baby, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out…

The two remaining girls are fun and TERRIBLY nervous!! Turns out both have been in the bar less then a week, had only had one customer each before and NEVER been in the room like this with another girl!! Great – firsttimers. In spite of the jitters, both were accommodating. Neither was stellar, but both were good. I kept them through the next morning and shagged them again.

Photos: Two Firsttimers 535 536 537 538 539 540 541

Back down to Pattaya for some fun!! I take a car down and check back into Sabai Lodge on Soi 2. I have some lunch at the restaurant next door to the hotel and wander up to Second St by Soi 5 for a foot massage. After getting nice and relaxed it’s time for a trip to Soi 6.

I was feeling a bit “under the weather” and so was on antihistamines. These can take quite a toll on your boner so I decided to not take any prisoners – I bought a 100mg tab of V and chugged the whole thing in the middle of my foot massage. By the time I got to Soi 6 I was RAGING!!

My first victim is a real piece of trash from New Blue Hawaii. Her name’s Oam and she’s quite the 3-hole terror!! We get to the room and we shower, then on to more interesting pursuits.

I did something with this girl I’d only seen in movies – we go for an ATM. I pull my dick out of her ass and point it at her face. She gives it a good look (I guess checking for yesterdays lunch) then proceeds to chow down on my stick. Needless to say we put a lid on kissing until AFTER she brushed those teeth!!

This bar is a bit different in that you get the girl, and the room, for two full hours. So, we screwed for the better part of an hour, then relaxed for a bit, then back to screwing. She’s just OK looking, but a real trooper!!

Photos: NBH Trooper 542 543 544 545 546 547

I leave my little 3-holer and walk up the street. My dick is still ROCK HARD after screwing on and off for two hours and I’m tenting my shorts. I end up about 50 meters up the street and find this little goofy chick. She’s got a quirky smile and nice body. I make my decision and head upstairs with my hand stuffed up her ass. In the room she’s playful, giggly and I say goodbye after dropping a nice, juicy load.

Photos: Goofy Chick 548 549 550 551 552 553 554

After washing off my stick I head up the street another 50 meters or so and end up finding this one. She wears this fucked up makeup, has a bit of an attitude and looks really trashy - she’s for me!! Off to the ST room for shower, suck, fuck, shower. She was even nice enough to put on my clothes and parade around the room. I’d have to say that I’m a bit more “full figured” then she is as the photos show with her in my clothes.

Photos: Trashy 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 563

My first girl from New Blue Hawaii made a deal with me to come back to my room after her bar closed. She promised to stay LT for an extra 500B. Such a deal!! Her bar closed at 2am and she was knocking on my door 10 minutes later. In minutes she’s naked and taking a stout pounding. The next morning she did the same. I threw in some PTMs and ATMs and she took it like a trooper!!

Photos: NBH Trooper 564 565

After Oam left in the morning I was pretty relaxed. I just went from foot massage place to foot massage place sampling their talents. I found a few therapists that actually made me cry they massaged so hard!! Most were very kind to my feet and I was a happy camper.

After leaving one foot massage place in the early evening I found a crappy little beerbar open nearby. Wandering by I noticed a girl with a big smile and BIG titties!! She was a bit round for most Thai girls, but she’s sweet and cute!! I pay her bar and we head back to my room for ST. Her titties are nothing short of GRAND!!

Photos: GRAND titties 566 567 568 569

As she left I thought “maybe I should keep her LT”, but I dismissed that thought. Too many others to hunt.

I do the beerbar tour and settle in at my favorite place that’s SWIMMING with hotties!! Blazers will agree that this beerbar, even when the selection sucks it’s STILL good!! It’s pretty late (approaching 2am) and I decide I’m taking one from here. Most of the uberhotties were occupied, but one that was… cute enough ended up playing a dice game with me. After 2 I finally decided the superbabes were not gonna free up anytime soon and so arranged for this one to stay with me. I paid the BF and we headed back to the room. She ended up being the ONLY 1-holer I’ve EVER found in this country!! After a nice, loooOOOooong grudgefuck I sent her on her way. Thankfully she is gone from that bar, never to be seen again…

Photo: 1-holer 570

The next day I decide another trip to Soi 6 is required. I wait for 2pm to roll around and head back. A buddy was bragging about the GREAT time he had with two of the girls from this bar. He called it the “Eden experience” for ½ the price!! I figured he was full of shit, but it couldn’t hurt to try it out.

I end up at King Kong Bar and find his two lovelies. The sure ACT like they want it!! I pay the ST BF for both and we head upstairs. Nothing better then a really boring fuck with two girls that do a horrible job of pretending to like eating pussy. What a letdown. One even tried to gig me for a 1000B tip!! Yeah, let me reward mediocrity…

Photos: Boring King Kong 571 572

Afterwards I head down to New Blue Hawaii to say hello to Oam and her friend Maew is there too. Maew really likes to laugh and soon we’re having a GREAT time!! She’s kind of chunky, but a real blast with nice titties. Oam starts to think that I’m having too much fun with her friend and starts to get pissy. About that time I took the pic!! Wasn’t in the mood after seeing her stare me down…

Photo: Maew 573

This is a night for going back to Walking Street and look for my trolls again. I figure a full evening of abuse by one or two competent bargirls was just what the doctor ordered. I get to the bar and all the girls I know are either BFd or otherwise occupied, but I knew that a place like this stocked more then one dirty girl!!

Soon, one that’s OK looking attaches herself to me. She’s offered to be as dirty as I want her to be. I ask if she’s got a friend that she’s willing to be “interactive” with and she brings over a meaty one. These girls aren’t pretty, but if they’re able to pull off half the shit they claim they will it’s gonna be fun!!

OK, back to the room for more showers and bouncy-bouncy!! After we all get cleaned up they go after each other like they were made out of ham!! After they play for a while they double-team me!! In the end I plumbed 5 holes, had a GREAT time, kicking them out afterwards.

The next day I brought Joy back over for some fun. I got her cell number and we hook up. I get us both foot massages, buy us lunch and we end up back in my room naked. Not a bad afternoon.

Photo: Joy 597

When Joy and I finally part ways it’s pretty late and I’m drained. I decide I’ll roll past the trolls den just off of Walking Street again and see who’s available. My girls from the previous night swarm me!! I’m tempted, but not really into a group this evening. I buy them drinks to keep them happy, but am looking for something else.

I end up seeing one of my bug-eating girls from my February trip – the one I have a pic of eating the grasshopper. I already know she’s accommodating and she agrees to my terms. Soon we’re back in my room and we’re screwing. Seeing as I had fucked Joy not long before I hooked up with this girl she was in for a SERIOUS pounding!! Eventually we had our happy ending and life was good.

Photo: Bug Girl 598

The next day, after one more pounding my bug girl went home with some of my money and I spent most of the day doing a whole lot of nothing. Once it got around to night, I decide to stay local and hit a lot of beerbars around my hotel.

I went back to see if tukta was still mamasan at the beerbar she was at the previous Feb. She was still there, but she was just business as usual now, not really into it… or me. No problem as there’s plenty of flesh in the other places. I end up at Classroom 2 around 1am.

I’d been in here a few times and was hot on one of the waitresses. She NEVER cracked a smile, but her body was so hot in the outfits she wore to work that I just HAD to fuck her!! I wanted to pay her bar, but she was feeling sick and was going to the hospital the next morning. I told her to come by my room after she went to the hospital and I’d help her with her medical bills. OK, now I’ve got my breakfast tomorrow morning planned, what about dinner tonight!!

One of their feature girls is a trashy minx named Bom. She did a show where she “played” with fire. As I watched her dance and “eat” the fire it made me wonder how she is at eating cock…?

Well, I was determined to find out!! Sure enough, she liked the idea of coming over so I paid her bar and we walked down the street to the hotel. We get back to the room and it’s like we’re BOTH on fire!! She’s a GREAT fuck and a 3-holer to boot!! She stays until about 5am and then goes back to her boyfriend.

Photos: Trashy Bom 599 600 601 602 603 604 605

The next morning I’m eating breakfast and my waitress from Classroom 2 shows up. She’s feeling better and so we head to the room. She does her best starfish imitation. I decide it’s grudgefuck time again and really cut lose!! She takes the pounding but doesn’t like it. I shed all my tears of sorrow for bored, bitchy bargirls with princess attitudes a loooOOOooong time ago…

Photos: Starfish Imitator 606 607 608 609

I hook up with Joy again for an afternoon shag, but she’s started her menstruation!! No problem as we can fuck in the shower. I talk her into trying the ass, but it was like parking the space shuttle in a ½ inch pipe. It’s not like I’m big, but her ass is WELDED SHUT!! Oh well, I end up with a nice HJ/BJ with the CIM option. Good times. We decide against a movie and opt for the show at Tiffany’s instead.

For those that don’t know, Tiffany’s is a ladyboy cabaret show in Pattaya. There are NO women in the cast, only gayboys and ladyboys. The show was actually quite entertaining and I ended up rounding up part of the cast to take a pic with Joy and I. I think it’s kind of funny that there’s only ONE real woman in the pic – and she’s the UGLIEST ONE!!

Photo: One Real Woman 610

I finally sent Joy home after the show and wandered the beerbars for hours. I was finally done looking and headed toward the hotel emptyhanded. I stop by a little beerbar right next door to Sabai Dee Land massage on Soi 3 and buy a water. It’s 3:45am and I’m dead tired. What comes across my field of vision but a girl that’s nice, speaks 3 words of English (UP 2 U) and has a nice body. Somehow I get across the idea that she should come with me. She likes the idea and we head out. Back to the hotel for a shower and a shag. Next morning she was even MORE into it!! She was just a great girl in bed. Sent her home about noon.

Photos: Up2U 611 612 616 617

A few hours later I wandered past the beerbar where I found my entertainment from the previous evening and stumbled across a girl sitting around before the bar opened up. She was cute enough, but I just wasn’t willing to pay her bar AND her. She didn’t care as the bar was not really open so I didn’t need to pay the bar. OK, whatever. I get her back to the room and we have some fun. Well, that’s not REALLY true. She was a starfish. One of the worst lays I’ve EVER had in Asia!!

Photos: Early Girl 618 619

After I kicked out my warm masturbatory sleeve (see pics above) I decided I would wait for later that evening and go back to my troll haven. Sure enough, I enter about midnight and my nasty 3-holer is there waiting for me. I grab her and a friend and we decide to retire for the night.

The first girl takes a shower while my 3-holer strips and looks at some of the pics in my camera. I have her sit on my lap and she grinds the sweet spot. I decide Lil’ E doesn’t like hiding in my shorts and so pops out to see what’s going on. She just decides to “plug in”. I grab the camera and take a few pics.

Soon the games begin. It was suck and fuck, then suck and fuck, and then suck and fuck again. Sent them home in the morning after I was tapped out.

Photos: S&F Games 620 621 623 624 625

Later that day I made my way back to Soi 6 for fun at New Blue Hawaii. I walked in and mamasan informed me that Oam was absent today. This is GOOD news as Maew is there with a BIG grin!! She’s not terribly thin, but she’s sweet and capable. We hit the room and have an amazing two hours.

Photos: Maew 626 627 629 630

That night I ended up hooking up with a girl that worked the internet café across the street. We’d been flirting off and on throughout my trip and I had taken her to dinner a few times. I would always send her home after we’d go out because I didn’t want it getting serious. Well, tonight she wasn’t so much drunk as DRUNK!! She asks to stay with me as this is my last night in Pattaya. I say yes. I was afraid it would escalate and sure enough, soon we’re both nekkid and screwing like teenagers. She’s a WONDERFUL girl and really sweet. I say goodbye the next morning. She’s off to work and I’m off to Bangkok.

I checked back into the DI and wanted a few more pics of Wat Phra Keow, along with the chance to spread some of my Mother’s ashes at the temple. What should I do? I know – I’ll BF two ladies to help me!!

We get there with enough time to see ALL the sites again. Afterwards, we hit MBK for dinner. The girls are not particularly thrilled by the idea of doubling up on me. OK, I nail one, then go back across the street and get the other one and shag her. My pecker is tired and it’s only 9pm!!

Photos: No Doubling 631 632

About 1am I force myself up and over to Nana. I make it back to Mandarin and get attacked by a few girls. I end up bringing two from my threesome back to my room for fun. This time I keep the cuter one for LT and kick the other out after a nice, quick shag. Here’s Geow and May

Photos: Geow and May 633 634 635 636 637 638 639 640

May left me after a morning wrestling match and I had breakfast, thai massage in my room, shower, lunch, foot massage, another thai massage. Truly a lazy day.

There was a girl working Charming 2 that had a body that wouldn’t quit!! Her face and hair were not quite the average for Thailand, but she’s got one of the hardest bodies I’ve spun on my dick in quite some time!! I’ve fucked skinnier girls, but few with such a toned body. She told me she worked out at the gym two hours a day and I believe it. I had Mandarin plans that night so sent her home with ST money in her pocket.

Photos: Toned Charming2 641 642 643 644 645

Dinner, lounging a bit to recover, and then off to Mandarin!! I was looking for something different tonight and so recruited a cute girl to play with. While she was changing, another one that’s real nice, but NOT pretty came up to talk with me. I’ve been buying her drinks most nights I come here as she’s a blast and speaks good English, but she’s one of those girls best described as having a great personality. She talks me into bringing her along. THANK GOD!!

I get them back to the room and the cute one ends up being a contender for WORST LAY IN THE WORLD!! Felt like TJ – “Jeeu feneesh?” If it wasn’t for the “less pretty one” I would not have lost my load!! She’s quite the trooper.

Photos: Feneesh and Less Pretty 646 647 648 649 650 651 653 654 655 656 657 658

We’re on the last day of my trip and I decide to surprise my Annie’s girl. I go by the MP and LT her. She proceeds to make me VERY happy I made such a decision!! She keeps me all but chained to the to the bed until she takes me to the airport.

E

It sounds like you dont go any farther than accross the street to Charming Bar and up the stairs to the first bar in NEP(Mandarin). You are definately a creature of convenience and habit. Have you even barfined a girl from Soi Cowboy or Patpong or even been to a soapie in BKK? Just curious.

Actually, I have made the rounds to a few different soapy joints in BKK, but was not terribly impressed with the talent. I found a few places with some cute girls, but discovered the owners thought I was not only rich, but retarded. They had farang pricing that was so ridiculous it caused me to leave laughing at the top of my lungs.

As for other venues with gogos, I've BFd from PatPong before, but have not found ANYTHING at Soi Cowboy worth sticking my dick in. I did end up nailing a little monkey from one of the Asok beerbars outside of Soi Cowboy, but that was pretty much it above Soi 7/1.

As for NEP - I've spent a lot of time in various bars there, but only found a few places where I don't feel like chum. Many gogos there have girls that will tell you to BF them and how much they want before they tell you their name!! Not my cup of tea.

I know that some hit these destinations running and try to fuck a million different girls from a million different venues in under 10 days. My trips have been on a different timetable and so I don't feel rushed. I have fun someplace until I get the itch for another venue.

These reports are written to get me from girl to girl. Unlike you and Porker, I do not remember most of the daily tidbits and and so do not remember the various places I've been before settling on a particular girl.

And yes - you are right - I AM a creature of convenience and habit!!

E

My flight leaves in the morning and this trip report is killing me. Like I tell all my friends. Every man should walk down Soi 6 just once in his life before he dies.

This a a fantastic report. 'Starfish' made me laugh so hard that the whole family came in to see what I was reading.

It's funny how mongers from this board gravitate to Soi 6. How do you negotiate "nasty"?

Start with fingers in her pussy and ass and have her give you a LONG blowjob in the bar. Hell, I've even banged a few downstairs before making the decision. Of course, each person handles this differently...

E

Great report........Thanks

Man you are outta control,
For you guys that have never met Epimetheus he is a cross between Tony Soprano and Chris Farley. Funny as hell but when it comes to bangin he is serious . If its a girl with a pulse in Asia thats been around him for five minutes shes in danger of having all three holes violated! Just when I think I dont have another short time left in me he calls my cell phone and says Dude I know where theres an awesome three holer, get outta bed and meet me in 20 minutes. We were in pattaya my last trip at an agogo and I look over and hes gotten this young sweet thai girls panties off and hes bangin away in the bar with everyone watching.
I cant wait to hang out with you in the phillipines later this year!!

Bahtman

Guess who just changed his flight? I land back in the US the day my taxes are due!!

See you here...

E

Oh, SHIT! And of COURSE you're gonna be in AC the first week of April, di ba???

I cant wait, getting on the plane in a few days. Gotta do some things in Bkk then its off to Pattaya. See Ya soon. If you come to bkk a couple of days We can get the girls together and do the JW Marriott buffet, my treat. Ill get to bkk on the 1st and hang for a few days. Ill call your cell when I arrive. Dying to get a look at your pics!!

Well, that was the coolest report that I have read ina while...

Last set of photos integrated

This, here, is one damned fine bit of reporting with the pics to back it up. THANK YOU, my friend, for letting me burn a couple more pre-trip hours by re-living Epi's greatest hits on this site. I gots 3 1/2 days to go and then will try and re-make your past glory in Thailand. And New Blue Hawaii is DEFINITELY high on my list of places to hit. LOVE those silky geisha robes!

Porker

This trip was SO MUCH FUN!! I only wish I could have had MORE and BETTER pics for you to enjoy.

BTW, I think it's a DAMN SHAME that those two girls eating each other out didn't get better scores. Such is life...

E