This is a 100% non puta travel report dealing with Puerto Galera in the Philippines.

After a week of sex (the fun side of AC) and nonstop physical problems (sinus, headaches, mild runs, terrible sore throat, cold) I decided to get the hell out of AC. Unless you are a non stop sex machine AC wears thin pretty fast. And there is NOTHING to see or do in the area and that's assuming you even figure out a way to get out of the town. So I hired a driver and headed for Puerto Galera to see if I could get my health back (I was getting really sick) and also see some of the advertised beauty ofthe country.

Puerto Galera is on the island of Mindano which is immediately south of Luzon. You drive from AC back to Manila, the hell hole of the world, deal with somehow getting through the city, and then head south to the port "city" of Batangas. Figure 4 hours or so total on mostly toll highways except within Manila. From Batangas you take a ferry across the ocean channel to Mindano.

I NEED TO TAKE A LEAK NOW!!!!!!!!

Without boring you with the medical details, I drink immense quantities of water and pee out like amounts. We are talking gallons, not glasses, a day. One of my concerns in getting to PG was that the ferry have a restroom. The travel agent in AC who set me up with a driver and hotel assured me that the ferry was a large one. The driver backed her up.

After being dropped off in front of the ferry building, a huge place fronted with blocks and blocks of small eaterees, buses that had to number close to a hundred, and people everywhere I followed the line inside to get my first class delux berth to the island. There were counters everywhere with different destinations listed. Fortunately virtually all the signs I saw in the country are in English and almost everyone seems to understand enough to help you. I was immediately approached by some guy asking my destination. I told him the hotel and he took me over to the correct ticket salesman.

The only problem was that the picture of "his" ferry was not that of a big boat but of something that looked pretty small. And I couldn't see where there was a restroom on the thing. I decided to pass and went over to the next counters where one agent after another told me that they were going to other destinations. I finally decided to buy the stupid ticket and hope there really was a CR (restroom) on board.

After passing through an inspection point I entered the huge waiting room. This was something out of classic 3rd world picture. It was suffocatingly hot in the room, people were packed in everywhere, and no one was carrying an American Express card. When my boat was called I did a quick run to the john and then joined the line to the boat.

Imagine a very long canoe, double wide, with platoons on each side. And a canvas top. That was it and I was suppose to cross miles of open sea. The boat was bobbing up and down violently and the ramp couldn't have been more than 15 inches wide max with a rinky dink piece of twine to hold as you walked down it. I made a beeline to the back of the boat to check the CR and found a hole inside an open area with a piece of plywood about chest high. That was enough so I sat down and waited to leave.

45 minutes later we finally pulled out and the first thing the crew did was to lower these plastic "windows" all around the sides. The second thing was that everyone on board, except 3 Germans, lit up their fucking cigarettes. The Germans each lit up 2 because they really smoke. Great, I've got a sore throat, they closed off all the outside ventilation, and everyone is puffing away.

Half way across the channel (figure 50-60 minutes for the trip on a calm day) I decided to take a leak. Right at that exact moment we started hitting rough water. And the waves got bigger and bigger. It was clear why the plastic coverings had been lowered but water still spashed inside. And now I understood why so many people were sitting on their life jackets. I grabbed mine but first decided it might be smart to check it out. It was orange just like the ones in the US. And that was the end of any similarities. Mine was filled with little pieces of broken off styrofoam. I know it was styrofoam because the threads holding everything together were half unraveled and pieces of the white stuff were coming out. I immediately nonchalantely begin checking out the vests of my nearest, and smallest/weakest, neighbors to see who I might exchange vests with if we started going down.

We eventually reached land although there was no actual pier at Sabang Beach where I went. The boat lowered another ramp, this one about a EE shoe wide and I'm not kidding, and I instantly hired someone to carry my luggage off the boat and up to the hotel. My treadless sandals were worthless on the wet ramp and I almost slid down on my butt to the smiles of everyone. It's nice that Filipinos are so darn friendly because even though you know they are talking and laughing about you it always comes across as warm and good natured.

I stayed at the Hotel Portofino. At $80 plus 10% tax it was overpriced. There are several newer places with lower rates. However, I would still probably go back as I really liked it. This is not Club Med but neither is the area either. I actually had an apartment with kitchen, a large front fully furnished, and a bedroom. There was a small, and worthless, AC unit in the bedroom but the overhead fans everywhere pumped out plent of cool air. The shower had sort of hot water but with the heat and humidity all I wanted was something tepid so I wasn't complaining. There is a small pool right in front with the bar and outside dining area.

The whole place is slowly decaying with the effects of the corrosive salt but it is still attractive and kind of low keyed funky which was exactly what I wanted. The food was ok to not bad but I learned that really good food is pretty rare in the PI so it was acceptable. The staff is super friendly, the view is great (you are 10-30 feet from the water depending on tide), and the other guests, mostly Australians, were all laid back so I really enjoyed myself.

WHAT DO YOU DO IN PUERTO GALERA?

First, you don't actually go to PG although some of the ferries do use it. Imagine a T with PG being at the base, Sabang beach being the right top of the T, and Laguna beach where I was being the left top of the T. Laguna beach has about an inch or so of sand and that's not an exageration. Sabang beach has several feet in width. Then its rocks until you hit the water. Forget about sunning on the beach because it isn't that kind of place. PG is suppose to be one of the premier world destinations for scuba diving and outside of myself everyone else there was in PG to see what was under the water.

The "town" of Sabang is about two blocks long on a road connecting it to PG. Layers of buildings work their way back from the beach with tiny walkways between them. There is a bar scene, very low keyed, and monger action is obviously available from the come on glances that I got everywhere. You can arrange day trips into the island itself which looked like a lot fun but I was too sick to try any. The island is a big one with most of the interior inaccesable except on foot. There are tribes in the moutains who are distinct from the coastal people and the pictures of them looked like those you see in National Geographic. I was approached by guides offering to take me to the nearest village but the humidity and my sore throat sent me back to the hammocks at the hotel.

My last days there were the first ones that I started to feel alive again so I rented a small boat to go along the coast to White beach. It's about 25 minutes away and the ride was fantastic. Panoramic views of the numerous inlets, little islands, deserted beaches, millons of coconut palms, and everything ascending up the mountain sides which got darker and darker until the tops were covered with clouds. I would love to return, somehow arrange a vehicle, and go exploring along the rough road that encircles the island. Someday this entire area will be a world class resort destination ala lifestyles of the rich and famous. But right now it is strickly Lonely Planet and a diver's paradise.

GETTING BACK TO BATANGAS

Important: ignore the schedules listed on the Internet and in the hotels. Some of the ferries no longer run. I saw one of them in PG and it looked like it would sink in the first big storm. Others have different schedules than shown. I hired another small boat to take me to Batalera, one of the many ports, where I expected to hop on the car ferry at 10AM. This ferry was now leaving at 1PM. I had someone expecting me between 12 and 1 so I freaked out. The ticket agent told me not to worry because they had another boat at 11. You can guess how big it was. This time the seas were calm, the plastic windows stayed rolled up, no one smoked, and I could use the CR. Pure luxury.

I really liked Puerto Galera and it gave me a chance to see another side of the country after Angeles City. It's not much of a place for a non diver after a few days but I was happy with what I found there. Next time I would like to visit the famous beaches of Boracay or Bohol. Maybe I can take someone with me which was the idea all along but didn't work once I got sick. I certainly saw plenty of monger perverts in PG with their local "girlfriends" and there were some who came over with me on the boat. It would have been fun so it's something to look forward to in the future.

Hey Tight Fit,

Thanks for the helpful information. I don't really have Asia in my radar right now but eventually I'll hit it after I run out of places in South America and Europe. Take care.

Godfather

Godfather, I enjoy your posts and would like to be able to travel at the level of comfort and luxury that you do. The trip to the PI really brought home the realization that I have had it with traveling ala Lonely Planet style. And that's what you will probably find in the PI. Based on your past reports I seriously doubt that you would enjoy the country. The lack of anything beyond the most basic physical infrastucture and accompaning facilities for hotels and food make this a place to either go slumming or to rough it out for the great sex and hordes of attractive, and very unsophisticated, women.

It's a fun country, and quite beautiful once you get away from Angeles City, but it is not an easy one to move around in without giving up a lot of creature comforts that we take for granted.