Through the Omni, we booked a minivan to take us to Pattaya. It cost us 2000B (including tolls) for the four of us. Not cheap, but not bad since there was no way we’d be able to fit in one (or even two) cabs because Naps and I had big suitcases. The minivan took us straight to the hotel.

1. Accommodations
My first choice in hotels was the Residence Garden for 1350B for the suite. It was a little off the beaten path, but was still pretty close to Walking St. and had in-room safes. I had received the reservation for the four of us, but they wanted deposits for each room within 7 days of arrival. Since we were not positive which day we were going to Pattaya from Bkk, I wasn’t comfortable leaving and losing our deposits. For that reason, based on others’ recommendations, I made reservations for the Sabai Lodge.

Located on Soi 1, very close to the Soapies, the Deluxe rooms cost between 1150B and 1250B. Unfortunately, the rooms sucked. At the time we checked in, only two rooms were available. Neither of the air conditioners did. Moreover, the carpet in my room was also in horrible shape. The last straw was that there was a notice that the next day starting at 9am to around 5pm, there would be no electricity. Faced with the prospect of no air conditioning (and it was HOT), we hurriedly looked for alternatives. We called the Residence Garden, but they had no rooms. We then called Dynasty Inn and Sandy Springs on Soi 13. Although their language skills were poor, it sounded like they had rooms, so Mrjoe and I took the Baht Bus down there to check them out.

Fortunately, the two hotels are almost next to each other and are both brand new. Unfortunately, neither hotel had vacancy for four. We quickly decided to take two rooms in each hotel. We got two suites in the SS (2500B each), and one Deluxe and one Standard room in the Dynasty (or as some call it the Die Nasty). The rooms in the Dynasty are indeed a little small and a little dark, but they looked clean and definitely livable. I think the Dynasty rooms were cheaper than the Sabai Lodge rooms as well.

The SS suites were very large, but not that well laid out. I don’t think I spent more than 5 minutes in the living room my whole trip. And at 2500B, it was a little pricey considering I almost never used one-half of my living space. Still, the room was large, new and clean. The staff was nice too, although their English skills left something to be desired. Only one of the women at the front desk (Oy) spoke English well, but she was extremely helpful. We never tried the room service and the laundry service was somewhat slow, but I’d definitely stay there again.

Soi 13 is a great location. Quiet, but at the same time relatively close to Walking St. and within walking distance of the Royal Garden mall. There is an internet place on Second Rd. between Soi 13 and Soi 13/1. We ended up lunching a bunch of times at Au Bon Pain at the mall. There is a 7/11 on Beach Rd., as well as a couple of ATM’s and money exchange booths. Across the street from SS, there is a beauty salon for haircuts and manicures, and a massage place for traditional Thai massages, oil massages and neck and shoulder massages. I recommend both places.

WALKING ST.

That first night, we took the baht bus down to Walking St. There a lot of tourists down there, as well as restaurants, shops, go gos and beer bars. Right under Marine Disco, there is a muay thai boxing ring where you can see boxing matches and snake shows. There’s actually a beer bar there as well, and Naps made his first love connection there. The only bad part of his finding a girl there was that the beer bar is very centrally located on Walking St., and it made it a little uncomfortable for Naps to be passing it with a different woman.

HAPPY A GO GO

That night we probably hit about 10 different go gos. The Dollhouse was empty, Peppermint Palace (upstairs and right next to Marine Disco) was so crowded I couldn’t get in, and a bunch of other gogos were not that inspiring. We eventually spent a lot of time at Happy A Go Go at the end of Soi Happy. They had a number of hot women there. I saw a lovely with red tinted hair, but JUST as I was going to grab her, someone else beat me to the punch. Lesson learned: go early and grab early. The one thing I didn’t like that much about Happy was that they had waiters instead of waitresses. I guess it doesn’t matter, but the feel is just different. Happy gets crowded a little early. I think because they have a happy hour then ends at 9:30. A lot of expats seem to go there for the 40B drinks. It was pretty well lit there, so it did have a “happy” atmosphere there.

Naps ended up at Happy with us with his beer bar girl in tow. After watching awhile, she recommended going to Living Dolls Showcase (as opposed to Living Dolls Go Go which is on Walking St. near Soi Happy). She said they had good shows there and mentioned something about a banana show. We were sold.

LIVING DOLLS SHOWCASE

We got there sometime before 10 pm (when the shows start). Still, it was already crowded and we could only get seats near one end of the stage. One of the cool things about LDS (and I don’t mean the Mormon church) is that they have a low stage, so that you can see the shows from any seat in the house, and they did not have seats on the stage blocking your view. When gogos are crowded they always seat you at the stage. Yes, it is close to the girls, but you can’t see more than a few at a time.

There were maybe about 15 of their “regular” dancers on stage, and one really caught me eye. She had a certain energy about her, but looked a little sweet and innocent as well. Employing my “go early grab early rule,” I quickly grabbed her and struck a deal for LT. A corollary to the GEGE rule is that until you actually give them the money for the barfine, they are still fair game. Keep that in mind and barfine as soon as you’ve made up your mind

Even though I had grabbed my girl (LDS1), we stuck around and watched the shows. The shows were VERY good, by far better than any other show I saw in Pattaya (or Nana and Soi Cowboy for that matter). I’m really glad I did. This way, we all saw the full complement of the LDS showgirls. In addition to the regular girls (600B barfine), they have two types of showgirls (1000B barfine). The regular showgirls do the more generic shows (there are maybe 4 to 10 girls on stage doing that particular show). There are also the 4 to 8 “showcase” showgirls who do the more special shows (i.e., the oil and milk show, the whip show, the fire eating show, the muay thai boxing show, the nights in white satin show, the body shot show, etc.) That first night, the shows were outstanding. The girl on girl show featured some really hot action. I immediately started feeling some buyer’s remorse. I saw at least three or four others that I really wanted to barfine.

One girl, with a great assortment of tattoos was VERY aggressive during the girl/girl shows. Another of the showcase girls must have aroused the entire audience during the whip show and the banana show (no insertion, just great deep throat). A third very petite girl who loved walking around topless and two other regular showgirls (a young 18 yo who spoke almost no English and a very dark skinned girl with a fabulous body) really caught my eye. Although thrilled with LDS1, I immediately started figuring out how I might be able to butterfly in LDS and not get in trouble. We found out that being attracted to and schmoozing with a showgirl is very confusing at first. Unlike at most gogos, if you buy the girl a drink, she’ll normally stick around to see if you’re going to barfine her. With the showgirls, though, even if they are interested, they still have to leave you, at least temporarily, to do their show. It can leave you wondering if the girl is interested in going with you. I remember Mrjoe being very into the banana show girl, but her leaving him a couple of times to go do her show. Mrjoe got kind of frustrated and ended up taking barfining another showgirl. Although he reported that that showgirl was great, he would always regret not taking the banana show girl (me too).

After the shows ended, I took LDS1 back to the hotel. As I assumed, she had only started working a few months ago and didn’t get barfined a lot. I think the show girls get most of the barfining action. She was indeed sweet and a little inexperienced. She really likes DATY and I still vividly remember her crushing my head with her thighs. You know what it sounds like when you cover your ears with your palms? It sounded the same with her thighs replacing my hands. Although I liked her, there were quite a few targets left at LDS.

PATTAYA SOAPIES

Either on our first or second full day in Pattaya, we hit the soapies. On Second Rd, between Soi 1 and 2, there are three large soapies there: Sabai Dee, Sabai Land and Sabai Room. Sabai Dee and Sabai Land are both on the West side of Second Road across from the Big C shopping mall and Sabai Room is on the East side, on the same side of the street as the Big C.

On that first day, we were there around 2pm, and there were not a lot of girls at any of the three. I would later find out from the girls that most of the girls show up around 5 or 6pm, just like in Bkk. Each of the big three aim market themselves differently. Sabai Dee gets a lot of asian clientele. Therefore, the women are lighter skinned and most have big boobs. The girls at Sabai Land are darker skinned, and Sabai Room has a mix of both types. Sabai Dee had slightly better facilities than Sabai Room, but the latter’s rooms were bigger. I never made it to Sabai Land, other than a glance at its fishbowl. The cost was the same at all of them: 1600B all inclusive. Sabai Dee charged 1.5% for credit card, and Sabai Room might have also. Slip and Slide was definitely on the menu, and there’s nothing like looking at a fishbowl with 40 women, 20 or so that you’d do in a heartbeat.

Once again though, ymmv. I found the sex itself a little mechanical, with little DFK and most bjs covered. Naps, though, had a great time at the soapies and even had a great threesome at Sabai Room! At the end of the day, Pokerface said it best: MPs are the best if you don’t want to do ANY work. Very true.

Happy Go-Go has always been one my favorites, which also includes Super Baby and Super Girl Go-Gos. They never fail to have outstanding talent at these go-gos. Next time, you should book at Dynasty BKK, and also Dynasty Pattaya as they have a free minibus shuttle everday at noon, I often have lots of luggage as well and its quite a savings IMO.