Some Do's and Don'ts (Part 2)
Life After You Leave The Philippines

I wrote “Some Do’s and Don’ts” a few months ago as a guide to newbie visitors to Angeles City, Philippines.

A number of people sent me some additional Do’s and Don’ts so I thought I would write Part 2 as a follow up. I am not going to cite my sources so you will just have to flame me instead.

Do communicate with the girls after you go home. If you were fortunate enough to find a girl or two, that was more than a one night stand, then make an effort to stay in touch. The easiest way to do this is to open a hotmail or other anonymous email account. You don’t really want the systems administrator from your workplace reading your emails from honeyko (sweetheart) do you? A workable alternative is to download and use a texting system like Chikka, ICQ or Yahoo Messenger. It is free for you to use but costs honeyko 2.5 pesos to reply to you. There is a limit of around 30 messages a day that you can send free but you can use more than one service. Besides if you are sending 30 messages a day then honeyko is probably going broke replying to you.

Don’t make promises to honeykos that you don’t intend to keep. That is simply not nice and you are also gradually turning sweet little honeyko into a hardened bargirl every time you break a promise. The hardened bargirls influence the new girls more than you think. For the benefit of many of us AC visitors, who don’t want the new girls changed in any way, please act like a gentleman as much as possible. I know I am asking a lot of some of you guys from the stories I have read on this board. You know who you are.

Do be aware that if you communicate with a bargirl for any length of time that she will feel very possessive towards you when you return to the Philippines. You are now her boyfriend, albeit one of many. In the same message that you tell her that you are coming back be sure to also tell her that you intend to butterfly. Maybe honeyko misses you so much that she will now do threesomes. You may have barfined multiple girls from the same bar in the past. However if you (with the status of boyfriend) barfine another girl from honeyko’s bar then she will have lost an enormous amount of face. In that case you might as well get used to looking over your shoulder. You are now in a state of war. She has to do something to you to recover some face.

Do try to be clear in your communications with honeyko. Remember that English or whatever language you speak is a second or third or fourth language to honeyko. If you say “I will try to come and see you in February” and she doesn’t know what the word ‘try’ means then you have just promised to see her in February. Oftentimes I have to say something important three different ways to honeyko to get the point across. English is a difficult language. The small words that honeyko knows have multiple meaning and the big words are incomprehensible to her. It takes a little practice but in no time at all you will find yourself texting things like: “No problem. I know u. If u have load then u have to text all”

Don’t believe everything that honeyko tells you. Your watchwords should be ‘trust but verify’. Oftentimes honeyko will report gossip to you as gospel. Especially if it concerns other girls that she knows that you have barfined. You have an enormous advantage in learning the truth by using this and other similar boards. Occasionally you can ask honeyko a question that you already know the answer to. Her answer can be quite different than the truth, but still very convincing. In that case you know that you are dealing with a bola bola girl and need to proceed with caution. I swear that some bargirls can lie so smoothly that they convince themselves that they are telling the truth and could probably pass a lie detector test. Lie detectors depend on the ‘guilt’ response from telling a lie and if there is no guilt….

Do recognize that some honeykos don’t want to bola bola to you but will do so if you keep asking the wrong question. If you have asked a question three times and not gotten an answer then you might as well give up. If you continue to press for an answer then you are guaranteed a bola bola answer. In her mind it’s was your fault for forcing her to answer so she didn’t actually bola bola you.

Don’t send money. Money can be the acid test of the relationship between you and honeyko. Some girls will never mention money. Some will drop hints like ‘I have no load to text to you’. Some will come right out and ask you to send money every month (support). Sending support is a huge change in your relationship. Unfortunately it is rarely a change for the better. When you send support you implicitly expect certain things in return. Honeyko doesn’t understand this and continues to use her same old priorities when it comes to spending the money from you. If her priorities were (in order) family, food, cell load, rent and partying then don’t be surprised when honeyko isn’t wearing the braces that you thought you paid for. Her father will be a very happy guy though. So will her other boyfriends now that she has lots of cell load.

Do tell honeyko about events in your life and share events in her life. It can be as addictive as a soap opera. In a sense you will join her family of friends; and Filipinas are very family oriented. The benefit to you is that you will learn so much more about life in the Philippines. The more you know about bargirls and the Philippines the more you will enjoy your next visit. After all knowing your enemy is half the battle. Ok ‘enemy’ is a poor word; maybe ‘conquest’ is better.

Do learn the three golden rules of dealing with bargirls:
1) If their mouth is moving they're lying
2) You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl
3) No money, no honey
Some punters argue that there are no exceptions to these rules but I have to disagree. Occasionally a bargirl will realize that the bar life has changed their own personality and rise above it. Sadly, it is very rare. After a few months or years of working in a bar most girls end up feeling ‘used’ by their customers and not surprisingly want to get even. Can you really blame them?

Do recognize the symptoms of PPD (Post Philippine Depression). If one or more of the following apply to you then you may have PPD.
- western women look different to you for some strange reason
- the thought of having sex with a western woman of your own age is repulsive
- all the porn that you download from the internet is Filipina porn
- you know who Leanna Lei is and she is your favorite
- you lurk on this and other similar boards
- you are constantly thinking about how you can arrange things at work so that you can go back sooner than 10 months from now
- you only dream in Filipina
- you have a craving for chicken adobo
- you see a filipina cute young thing at a western fast food outlet and she totally ignores you and you think WTF and then realize where you are.
- you check your email twice a day (or more) hoping for an email from honeyko
- you spend an enormous amount of time and money on Filipina chat sites
- you think chat sites are silly but you have a gold membership at a Filipina penpal site
- you love your home country but now you think of it as the land of no smiles
- you check the weather in the Philippines but don’t bother to for home
- you flip radio channels while driving and leave the channel on a song that you recognize from the bars in AC and your friends say ‘You like that song?’
- you run into a filipina and you mention that you have been to Philippines, when questioned as to where, you name many places other than Angeles. For the rest of the day, others comment that you seem to be in a good mood.
- You visit a western strip bar and realize that you would rather be in AC looking at Filipinas in bathing suits or even better – street clothes
- You hear the Aqua song ‘Sex on the Beach’ and think ahhhh Boracay
- You hear the song ‘Can’t get you outta my head’ and you can’t get it out of your head
- You have had a few beers in a bar and its time to leave and you look around for your cup

Don’t try to treat your PPD by yourself. Stop lurking on this board and post about your experiences. Share the pain as it were. Group therapy works for alcoholics and PPD suffers alike. Of course the only real cure is to come back to the land of STSL (small, tanned, sexy ladies – a lot nicer term than LBFM).

Happy_Memories

HM

Many of these topics have been discussed previously, but are worth mentioning again. Since everyone is different, we all handle bargirls and the ensuing drama differently, but you've summed up a few good points.

I differ in that I do NOT stay in contact with the girls unless they go out of their way to contact ME!! Once they do, I do my best to offer generic answers, short emails and wait a few days before responding.

When you pay that much attention to a girl she WILL get the wrong idea no matter HOW much you say otherwise. In the Philippines, attention = love. Do NOT encourage them!! There are ALWAYS folks that will claim otherwise, but I've also seen them torn up and/or victimized by the inevitable grief that follows.

I've learned (through some HARD lessons) that ANYTHING coming out of a bargirls mouth is automatically BULLSHIT!! Some will disagree with me on this, but the girl's JOB is to extract as MUCH money out of you as she can for her baby/family/water buffalo/drugged out-cheating boyfriend. Once a girl assigns a dollar amount to her pussy her heart is darkened forever. Now, there will be exceptions to the rule, but those are a one-in-a-million longshots. I know she SEEMS honest, and she's soooOOOooo darn convincing with those dark eyes and soft lips, but can you REALLY trust her? Are you willing to try to be that one where the million have failed before? If I make a sampling error I would rather reject that which I should have accepted instead of accepting that which I should have rejected. Less opportunity for major, life devastating problems that will make you want to take your own life.

In case you're wondering how I know so much about Filipinas - I spent roughly 80 days in the PI IN 2003 spread out throughout the year. I've seen it all - whether I've ridden that wave in the rocks myself or seen friends crash and burn.

Come here, fuck them, then fly home with an empty SIM. If you must: sign up for lbfm.net or another Asia fuck-bunny site, buy a few gallons of Jerkins lotion and 30 boxes of tissues to keep yourself out of trouble until you get BACK on that airplane!! I know you THINK you'll never find another girl like (fill in name here), but trust me on this one - it's ALL replaceable!!

I'm writing this in my room at Central Park Hotel in AC right now. Gotta go out and get a massage, then a nice girl for ST, then back to the hotel for shower and barhop tonight!!

E

PS: Just in case you think YOU'RE girl's different, odds are I've fucked her at least ONCE since you left this island and she's whispered those same sweet words to me... heheh

Hombre

Methinks this thread would be better under the "advice" topic. Should it be moved?

E

HM, nice post, and I'd disagree slightly with my master Epi and say that it's OK to keep in touch with girls there. While I got fucked over on the deal last time with my #1 fave, the #2 and #3 faves gave me some GOOOOOOOD stuff I had never gotten before due to some history together. I'd probably advise that Epi and Blazers were right about burning the old SIM card, tho. More trouble than it's worth, and you can easily give the new number to the ones you WANT to see.

Porker

Most girls you have history with will be HAPPY to reattach themselves to your hip when you return - regardless of whether you've kept chatting them up while away. The only inconvenience is if they are in the province, but that's just an opportunity to fuck their friends...

When you come back the ones worth finding again will find YOU!! When I get the inevitable line "where's my present" I point to my pants.

Your girls would have been just as attentive if you'd left them to their own devices while away and sent them a "time to get back to the goodies" text upon returning.

Some may think it's just a "difference of opinion", but I was just like you two years ago. It was like a giant game to play and have fun with. However, trying to understand and track girls less mature then most American 5th graders becomes old. These girls, at best, can be considered... ignorant. I find that I just get tired of dealing with it. Makes it easier to come back if I'm not already dodging some e-drama before the plane lands...

E

I lived in the Philippines for 18 months from the summer of 2001 to the fall of 2003. I could not agree more with the writings on PPD.