Two great streets for beer bars are Soi 7 and 8. It’s just wall to wall beer bars. I can definitely remember spending an evening just cruising that street and stopping at any beer bar that employed a few honeys. One evening we stopped at one beer bar and one cute little thing ended up asking Naps if he wanted to play Connect 4. After I saw how cute she was, I knew that he was hooked.

You know how when you watch the Discovery Channel, the predators ALWAYS know which of their prey is the weakest link (the oldest, the slowest, the lamest)? Well, the bar and gogo girls know too. In our case, it was Naps. Out of the four of us, he was the least assertive and most “shy.” More often than not, the girls chose him, instead of the other way around. If a reasonably attractive girl made aggressive moves at him, he was a goner. Not that it matters, because he always had a good time. Still, his attributes lead me to two other stories.

King Kong Bar

Soi 6 has the reputation for having the raunchiest bars. Since we never made it to a BJ bar, King Kong Bar was as raunchy as we got. It is a little bar on Soi 6, near Second Rd. You go in and a girl immediately attaches herself to you. Since I did not show any interest, my girl quickly left me alone. Of course, sensing weakness, Naps’ girl clings onto him tightly. She starts kissing him, hugging him and fondling him rather aggressively. We never got the details, but apparently, they have ST rooms upstairs. Since Naps’ girl wasn’t particularly attractive, after a little while, we decide to leave, and Naps is ready to go as well. However, before we leave, he says he has to go the bathroom first. It turns out that at some point during her fondling of him, she actually pulled out his member. None of us saw it out, thank god, but he didn’t know it either until he was ready to go. Later, outside, when he told us, we asked him, how the hell she was able to get it out with him not knowing. His answer? “I don’t know, I was just minding my own business, and it just came out!!!” Priceless. Therefore, for all of you who wonder into the bars of Soi 6, be careful. Sometimes, it just comes out.

Classroom A Go Go

We only went there once, so I can’t say too much about it. But the best thing about it is that it opens early, around 1 or 2 pm. Just in case you did not get your full gogo fix the night before, check this place out. They all wear these little school girl outfits, and I know some of you guys like that.

Spicy Girls A Go Go

Sometime after we noticed the little phenomenon that is Naps’ vulnerability to the Thai girls, we went to Spicy Girls to test out our little theory. We walk in and are the only customers there. Four girls attach themselves to us, but none so aggressively as the one next to Naps. Since she was not bad looking, we decided to see if Naps was indeed that easy. I silently motion to Naps girl to be more aggressive, to fondle and kiss him. Sure enough, he tells me that he’s interested and he negotiates some short time with her. Theory tested and confirmed.

Later on, after he is finished, he hooks up with the rest of us, but he is a little skittish. Apparently, he noticed sometime during the act that her lower half smelled a little funky and afterwards noticed that she had left a little surprise on his sheets!!!! Yes, she had started her mensies!!!! He was very happy that he had eschewed his normal routine and skipped the DATY (or so he says). However, since it was only 9pm and he wasn’t done for the night, he was faced with the problem of what to do with his sheets. He called down to the front desk, but was informed that the maid staff had already gone home. He would eventually adjust the sheets of his bed and hope that his late night conquest would not notice the stains.

How did it turn out? Well, Naps ended up hooking up with his Walking St beer bar girl, who OF COURSE notices the stains on the bed sheet. Fortunately, she just thinks that the maid did a lousy job by not changing the sheets from the night before. Then, she notices that the top sheet is stained as well, and offers to complain to the front desk for Naps. Mortified and panicking, he assures her that he’ll take care of it himself.

Sometimes, though, even the “weakest” shows his strength. As you will recall, one night he took out Firegirl from LDS. When he gets back to the hotel with her, she drops the bomb on him. She only wants to go ST with him, despite their agreement otherwise. Quite rightly, he balks and sends her on her way. Good for him. One thing about Firegirl: although she was cute, she did have big feet. I would kid Naps later that he made out with a “girl” with big feet.

Ladyboys

The story about Firegirl and her big feet leads us to the inevitable discussion about Thailand and its ladyboys. I’m not sure what it is with Thailand, but they have a ton of ladyboys there (both pre-op and post-op). What’s more, all the native Thais have zero problems with it. It’s just the rest of the world, apparently, that seem unnerved by the phenomenon. In the beginning, the four of us were constantly on our guard. None of us wanted to mistakenly take one back to the hotel. We agreed to warn each other if that was going to happen. We also acknowledged the fact that if we did take one home, that we’d never admit to it.

I’d have to say that, for the vast majority of the time, it was relatively easy to tell a ladyboy from a, well, lady. Still, there were a few times, when the appearance alone wasn’t enough. You’d have to watch them walk and hear them talk. Fortunately, Mrjoe clued us one a “sure fire” test (that I’d read about previously as well). For some reason, when a man straightens out his arm, the arm only goes straight (180 degrees). If you straighten a woman’s arm out, and bend it as far the other way as possible, her arm straightens out past 180 degrees. Just to be sure, I did test all my girls. I didn’t want to take any chances. In addition, I was told that no Ladyboys work in any of the regular gogos.

One night, I was walking along Walking St. when I overheard a conversation between a man and a ladyboy. They were just concluding negotiations and had agreed to go back to his hotel room. I debated whether to inform him of his date and ultimately decided not to. I was aware that some guys go to Thailand specifically for the ladyboys, and so decided to let the guy find out on his own (if he did not already know). Strangely enough, one day while waiting for a free computer at the internet place in the Royal Gardens Mall, a large Caucasian man walked in in a dress and painted toenails. I think I did a triple take and confirmed with Pokerface that the person was indeed a man. See, Pattaya has something for everyone.