A lot has been said on this site about the fun to be had in Prague. But one far more interesting location for a couple of nights of drinking and hobbying has got to be the small town of Ceske Budejovice, which is appropriately enough in Bohemia. If the name looks vaguely familiar, youıre right. This is the place where Budweiser beer was invented. Weıre not talking about the horse urine produced by Anheuser Busch, though. This is a far superior class of beer made from real malt, not rice. Itıs twice as strong as the American rubbish and ten times more delicious. You will never go back to enjoying US Bud after this visit. Getting to Ceske Budejovice is easy. Take the train from Prague Central station. The journey takes about two and a half hours. Youıll be pleased to know it only cost about 200 CKZ ($7). Might as well upgrade and go first class and enjoy the view unless youıre really on a budget.



WHERE TO STAY: I recommend Hotel Maly Pivovar, Karla IV Street 8-10, Ceske Budejovice Tel: 420 386 360 471. Very big rooms, with en suite bathrooms, cheap prices and a short walk from the station. The hotel is owned by the brewery (which owns just about everything in the town) and has a nice restaurant downstairs for traditional Czech food like goulash. The Budweiser, which is on draft in there, is the best in the world and costs less than a dollar for a huge, ice cold glass.

SIGHTSEEING: Thereıs a pretty main square with a few bars around it. Thereıs the brewery, of course (a 15 minute taxi ride from the city centre or the station). And if you want history, get back on the train and go see Cesky Krumlov, a medieval town with an extraordinarily beautiful castle, about half an hour down the tracks. But make sure you get back to CB by nightfall because youıll want to have some beers and other fun.

CLUBS: There are apparently four erotic clubs in CB: Malibu, Swingers, Borneo and Happy. Taxi drivers from the town square know exactly where they are and will you drive there for a dollar or two. I only managed to visit two places though, one of which was magificent. I started the evening at Borneo (Staré Vráto 1, Ceské Budejovice Tel.: 038 246 46) which seemed quite a long way out of town, past the brewery. From the outside it looked like an old country house, with a discreet entrance, which led into a garden. It was a warm night, so some taxi drivers, customers and girls were sitting outside smoking. On one side of the garden there seemed to be an indoor swimming pool and what looked like a little area of private rooms. I canıt remember how much I paid to get in the main club, but once inside, I took a seat on one of the kitschy red sofas, ordered a Bud and settled down to get a view of the main stage. Each of the girls gets up for a high speed show. Some 8s but mostly 6 and 7s and morale seemed very low. A few of the girls came over to hit on me but they all wanted to go to the private rooms and I wanted to see the floor show or get some sort of lap dance to perk my spirits up. They werenıt interested in doing anything in the main room, so I sat tight. Actually, the show was OK, but the strips were pretty mechanical and as soon as the last garment came off, the party was over. No one really took my fancy so I thought Iıd head out of there and strike out for further adventure. Iım glad I did.

I should have got Borneo to get me a cab because the street outside was deserted but eventually one came along and took me to Cabaret Happy (Prušmyslová 7 tel: 420 386 352 215). Happy has got to be one of the best clubs in Czech, far better than the many places Iıve tried in Prague. When I got there about 1.30am there were about ten girls working and hardly any customers. The quality was far higher than Borneo and the atmosphere far better. But what made it really special was the pool. After checking out the talent and buying my 10th Bud of the night I took a seat on one of the benches overlooking this magnificent little pleasure palace. The pool is lit with disco lights and to the sound of loud music each of the girls gets up and walks to a bridge which runs over the top. They do a hot strip (topless by the end, but never mind). As Iım sitting there taking it all in, the first girl to hit on me for a table dance looks nice and is friendly without being too pushy, so I decided to check out the goods for about $10. She did a nice little show on the table in front on me and then came and sat down and chatted away in good English, only occasionally asking for more drinks. Then she suggested we go for a dip in the pool, but I asked if her petite little friend who seemed unoccupied near the bar would come too. Sure. The other girl was a dark skinned Caucasian with a really cute face and body. They were both Czech nationals, they said. The swim was about $80 for half an hour. They suggested I got naked, which I was reluctant to do. This wasnıt some private room to the side ­ this was in the main part of the club, in full view of the customers and staff! But it was late, the Bud was flowing and by that stage they were stripping too, so I thought, what the hell. Off comes the lot. They get down to their bikini bottoms and dive in. Iım naked now and follow with a splash. We play about like kids in the garden, splashing each other and playing with a life saver. They get on a li-lo and I push them about while they giggle away. All the time the disco musicıs pounding and the other girls are on the taking turns to get on the bridge above us to do their strips. It is total heaven and then I remember why. This is Club Happy. And happy I am, indeed.

After the swim, which seemed to last for ages, we return to the sofa. They want to take me to the private room for a threesome which sounds like a great idea but I love the atmosphere in here. I buy another round of drinks and give them a big tip and tell them to get naked. So off come the bikini bottoms and they kick back, relax and enjoy another drink with me, two little nude water babies all to myself.

I decide that it canıt get any better than this and so after one more Bud, I wish them goodnight and get a cab back to the Maly Pivovar Hotel.

This was all in the hot summer of 2003. Sorry I canıt remember the girlsı names or much about the prices. Letıs just say it was about the best value night Iıve ever had in Europe. You can see some pictures of the place right here.

http://www.night-club.cz/happy/

Iım going back just as soon as I can. HERMAN

Night Club Borneo



Night Club Happy

Herman,

Thanks for the good report. I'm really pleased to read about all these new places in Europe. The same old Rio and BA reports get old after a while. It all starts to get to be the same stories of terma runs, Help, etc.

Where did you fly into to get here or which trains did you take? What airlines and cost?

Herman,

Nice report, good details. But am I reading this right? You paid $80 for a half hour swim session? It sounds "different" but it also sounds like there was no sex involved. And you paid a big tip on top of that.

If you had taken them up on their offer of a threesome, how much would that have cost?

Kudos on reporting on a brand new venue. I do like American Budweiser though. After all, it is the King of Beers.

Interesting report but no sex involved.

Just an advice, don't come by taxi to clubs, you pay a big entrance fee.

I didn't do anything outside of Prague but when I get to Dresde, I saw many girls in clubs in Teplice, Bohemia north.

Ok. First things first. To fly to the Czech Republic I took Easyjet to Prague. For that you have to start from London but it's very cheap. Check out www.easyjet.com for details. Think I explained the trains all go from Prague. Cheap and fun. Zimroel, you're probably right about the taxis - but I was a bit naive and didn't know how to get to the the clubs without a local guide ie: taxi. Funnily enough, I had a female taxi driver on every occassion. She was really cool with my plans, though. Finally, how much would the threesome have been? You see, that's the problem. I had so much Czech Bud I wasn't sure about my stability so I didn't take a note of the price. If I'd had ten bottles of American Bud I reckon I'd have been in perfect form to check it out. But you know, the European experience is rather different!