I couldn't get a room at Majestic Suites, but good ol’ Dynasty gave me one of their little dark rooms for just under 1000THB. By 9PM I toured half of Nana and ended up in G-Spot (where Epimetheus and I picked out our girls some weeks earlier).
Jar spotted me and came over for a drink. Cop, her friend (and Epimetheus’ friend too) soon joined us. After three weeks running dry, I fancied some serious shagging and both girls were quite excited about the prospect of a threesome. I was particularly curious about Cop as Epi indicated that she was a three-door model. I paid bar and we took off into the night.
I offered to treat the ladies to supper; I wanted to be sure they had sufficient energy for what I was about to put them through. They suggested the restaurant at the Nana Hotel, just across the street. After sitting down and looking at the menu, I decided that I’d much rather eat outside. I dragged them off to that outdoor food court a few sois down the road.
When the girls heard that I was staying in Dynasty, they high-fived each other. “All right, they like the hotel and they’re pumped!” I thought to myself. (Epi later informed me that this meant they could get away with a short time.)
In the room we did the ol’ strip and shower routine. The nookie, I’m sorry to say, was rather disappointing. The enthusiasm they showed in the bar was now re-heated leftovers. The girls wouldn’t touch each other and condom swapping was mandatory. Furthermore, Cop wouldn’t even let me finger her butt, let alone slide the little wombat in.
I liked the girls, so I figured I’d have a good sleep with a babe on each shoulder. Ah, but you already know what’s coming, don’t you? We I finished, Jar told me that she was seriously concerned about her friend. She was very drunk and was worried about her. Cop agreed and suggested they should take care of her. I’m looking around like “Huh?” They tell me they have to go and start getting dressed. “Huh?” I said aloud.
I dropped back on the bed, rather peeved. I didn’t ask the right questions in the bar, and I didn’t emphatically state our arrangement. Cop could see I was annoyed and asked me if I wanted Jar to stay. “Only if she wants to,” I told her. If the girl didn’t want to be there, well, what fun is that for me? I gave them each a thousand (too damn much) and sent them on their way.
At this point, I should have gone out and grabbed another girl off the street, but after forking out nearly 4000THB, I just didn’t have it in me. Besides, I was tired, even if it was only 1AM. Too many Burmese sunrises, I recon.
The next evening, after spending the day running the usual errands and visiting tailors, I found myself back at G-Spot. I planned only to say hello to the girls, but Jar wasn’t working. Cop came up for a drink (which I foolishly bought for her) and a short chat. I was pleased to note that there were two other girls vying for my attention that evening. (In hindsight, I figure they must'a heard I was a sucker).
Nam was a cutie with great personality. She was rubbing the little wombat, pressing her butt into my lap, promising me all sorts of nasty things. Well, I was sold! It was then she informed me she could only go short time because she was going to Pattaya the next day. “OK,” I told her, “sleep over and leave early, I have no problem with that.” Actually, I did because the morning-after sex is often the best.
No, she couldn’t do it, it seemed her friend would be driving out after work at 2AM. What the fuck? Who drives to Pattaya at two in the morning? You arrive at four or five and you, what, watch the sun rise? Sheesh! I guess Cop and Jar told everyone about how I fell for the drunk friend story.
I sent Nam packing and let cutie number two in on the action. Her name was also Jar. Whaddaya know? She’s looks good, is friendly, and willing to spend the night. I go for it. As I wait for her to change, I notice that Nam is playing the same game with a bloke across the room. She’s working him over as well as she did me. Damn fine actress, she is.
Jar II and I grab a bite outside before heading to my room. She happily poses for the camera and I even get her to give me a profile shot to show off the nose in which she so heavily invested. Yup, she’s had plastic surgery to give herself a Farang nose. Take a look. Doesn’t she put the girls to shame with that handsome proboscis?
Photos: Jar II's nose 11 12
The sex wasn’t even mediocre. Terrible blowjob and kissed like a store mannequin (don't ask). Afterward, she says she wants to leave. Obviously, she’s been talking to Cop and Jar I. “OK,” I tell her, “500 baht.” She demands more but I remind her she agreed to long time, not short time. In a huff, she returns to bed, and then gets out again. She starts putting on her underwear. She tells me she can’t sleep without them. To further piss me off, she doesn’t like to touched when sleeping. She curls up in the blankets, as far from me as she can, and tried to sleep. <sigh>
After an hour or so, she gets out of bed again. This time she puts on her clothes. “Good,” I think to myself, “I get rid of her and save some money.” I’m cursed; she gets back into bed with her clothes on!
In the morning I attempt to get her clothes off. I figure she’s there, I’ll be paying for it, and so I may as well get some exercise. No, she starts complaining she wants to leave. “Fine,” I say as I mentally throw my hands in the air.
I stick 1500THB in her pocket (yeah, I’m a generous bastard for some reason) and say goodbye. She looks at how much I’ve given her and starts complaining that I have to give her 500 more! “No way,” I respond. Then I tick off all the stupid things she did to ruin my night. She picks up my cell phone as if to throw it. I give her a withering stare, daring her to do so and face the consequences. She drops the phone and huffs out of the room. “Goodbye dear!” I call gently. Yup, that was a wife experience all right.
It’s Friday night, I’m in need of some serious sex. I am so unsatisfied that I’m ready to … to something; I don’t know what, just something. I’ve forgotten for a moment where I am. Bangkok: the soapy capital of the world. I want a soapy! I want a little Thai girl to lather me up and rub her body all over me! Then I want to fuck her. Yes! That’s what I want.
I get a moto boy to drop me off at Emerald hotel a few klicks away. From here, I’m within a stones throw away from half a dozen primo soapy joints. The talent available is mixed. The high-class places like Ceasars and Emmanuelle have some real knockouts, but they simply charge too much. I return to an old favorite, Nataree.
I was hoping my old Burmese sweetie was still working there, but I was told she left several months ago. A pity; she was a slim and busty babe who took such good care of me. Mmm …
Nataree is a pretty run-of –the-mill soapy (damn, did I really write that?), but it has good vibes. One of the papasans was trying to get me to pay extra to go with one of the part time sideliners. She was quite good looking and was giving me all kinds of buying signals. I was tempted, but …
How the heck is it that part timers cost more than full timers? I don’t get it. You’d think you’d get a discount on the sideliners because they don’t have the experience of the pros. Pappasan tells me they are fresher, that’s why they charge more? Fresher? Sheesh!
Anyway, sideliner gets taken away by an Indian looking fellow. I select Nok, a slim, very good-looking gal. I was quite surprised to discover that she was 32 years old; she looked fantastic. Oh, and she more than took good care of me. Yes, I slept well that night.
Photo: Nataree Nok 13
The next night, although now sexually satisfied, I ended up back in Nana to see what else I could mate with. It occurred to me, as I sat in one bar (Rainbow 3, I think it was), that I wanted a nice girl for the evening. I wanted a cuddler. The pappasan was bugging me to pick a girl so I told him to bring me what I desired.
He came back a few moments later with Mon. She’s 28, not that good looking, but gentle eyes and a kind smile. I chatted with her a bit and learned she’s from Bangkok, not Issan, and she has two kids. You don’t actually see too many Bangkok girls working the bars for some reason. Well, she looked pretty good for a mom (but so many of them do). She was very pleased to go with me.
Photo: Bangkok Mon 14
It would have been a excellent evening but for the fact that she didn’t do oral sex. I was, as I mentioned, already satisfied, so I wrote that one off; after all, she was a very good cuddler.
She left the next morning and headed off the Marriott for Sunday brunch. Now, you know how good the sex in Thailand is, and you know how good the food is right? Well the Marriott Sunday brunch is to eating what Thailand is to fucking. At just over a thousand baht, it’s pricy, but man, is it worth it. So far, only the Rainbow Room at the top of the Rockefeller Center beats it.
I convinced Epimetheus to join me for a feast. We end up spending four hours there. Talking philosophy and photography, by the time we leave the employees had prepped the place for the dinner and were holding their staff meeting.
Two hours later I'm on a bus out of town. I'm going to Pattaya for the very first time.