Well, as many of you Brazil hands know, it is all too common for Gringos to overspend in search of Brazilian pussy. For example, the notorious GCL is known for paying as much as R$1 a minute to get his kicks, thus his nickname "high roller." Indeed, many of us Brazilian hands have had to suffer the humiliation of Porker's astute comments about how Brazil is over-priced, and why don't we all move to Cambodia or the Phillipines to take advantage of the abundant cheap pussy there. With this as background, it is indeed a privilege and a pleasure to introduce the Hombre community to a new concept: getting laid in Sao Paulo for one-half a real (around 16 or 17 cents) per minute.

The afternoon began with a trip to Shopping Ibirapuera, located in Moema, SP. After hanging out there for awhile, I started hearing the little voice in my head sing "Me So Horny." This despite that I hadn't ingested a Cialis for over 48 hours, raising a question mark as to how far I would be able to take things in my godly mission to find cheap pussy. Anyhow, I just happened to have my printout of about 200 or so Sao Paulo casas with me (obtained from www.gpguia.net), and so after consulting the Moema sub-heading, I developed my plan.

It should be mentioned that the casas on the list are rated according to cost, with $$$ being the most expensive. I had not yet committed to going the R$1/2 per minute route, so my first stop was Al. dos Jurupis, 1408, rated at $$$. The place actually had a nice interior, as casas go, with a couple of rooms to lounge in and a bar. Despite the $$$ designation, it was reasonably inexpensive: R$35 per half hour and R$60 per hour. However, there were about four men lounging around, and at first only one available garota. She introduced herself and while her looks were reasonably good, I got a "less than friendly" vibe from her. After a few minutes, another garota introduced herself, and I was considering a session with her, when the mama-san asked another hombre who he wanted and he picked her. While the first two garotas I saw were passable, another two came in the front door, apparently reporting for work, who were not. I decided to leave, although I probably will check out the place again. As with many casas, the garotas who are not immediately available are often the most desirable, so unless you stick around for awhile, you may not see the best talent. This time I didn't have the patience to stick around.

To get to Al. dos Jurupis, 1408, all you need to do is go out the back entrance of Shopping Ibirapuera, and make a left on Al. dos Jurupis. It is about one block down on the left. While I am not sure about this, I believe they are only open weekdays, unlike many of the other casas in Sao Paulo that are open six, or even sometimes seven days a week.

Well, I still was being taunted with "Me So Horny" and needed to regroup. I noted in the past I have tried a few of the cheaper places, and have sometimes found diamonds in the rough at these places, often resulting in great sessions. I saw on my list a couple of $ rated places and decided to check them out, notwithstanding that I knew the accomodations would leave something to be desired (but would likely be substantially better than at the R$1 per minute places in Rio, which it turned out they were).

First stop was Al. dos Jurupis, 835, about five more blocks down Jurupis (past 1408). Although this place was relatively skanky, and the talent reflected this, with "Me So Horny" going through my head, I literally could not help myself. Prices were R$20 per half hour and R$35 for the hour. Uncharacteristically, I took the half hour, probably reflecting that deep inside I knew this was not going to be a great experience. It wasn't, but then again, I've had worse. Cum #1, and a R$20 dent in my wallet.

I headed back in the direction of Shopping Ibirapuera, and decided to make a left onto Rua Jandira, in search of 970, which was maybe eight or nine blocks from Al. dos Jurupis. Particularly given the lack of my Cialis fix, I decided to stop awhile to re-charge at Cafe Journal and had a rather good steak. Then it was onto Rua Jandira, 970.

There was only one garota available when I arrived and another occupied. I was told I could wait to see the other garota, but since the one who greeted me at the door was friendly, and was reasonably attractive, I picked her. As things would have it, another garota, more attractive, showed up a few minutes later, but I already had committed to a one-hour relationship for R$30 (1/2 hour is R$20).

The session room was reasonable, but not great. An attached bathroom with shower, and a double bed. Not adding to the atmosphere, however, were the florescent lights in the bedroom. Oh well.

The session itself was actually quite good, although CBJ was insisted upon; after the BJ, it was on to the main event; in and out, in and out, with each stroke I could feel pennies of my wealth dissipating (I estimate that over the course of the hour, I may have had 300 or 400 strokes; that works out to about 3 cents a stroke, at today's exchange rate of 1 real = US$0.33). At one point the garota asked me what I was thinking (however, I won't swear on a stack of bibles she actually asked me this). Unfortunately, I just did not know how to translate Sha Ching, Sha Ching into Portuguese. Is Sha Ching sort of a universal word that is understood in Portuguese as well as in English, or it is possible that on translation it becomes Cha Shing? Puzzled, I just kept doing what I was doing, rotating positions, and then finally achieving the ultimate Sha Ching, knowing that not only my cum sack, but my penny piggy bank had been depleted. I then practiced my Portuguese for perhaps 10 minutes, after which I somehow started up again, demonstrating that this Cialis thing may be a bit over-hyped.

Anyway, I ended up with three nuts for R$50 total. I wouldn't go back to the place of the first nut, but may check out the last place (the two-nutter) again. OTOH, there are at least another 200 casas to check out, and only so much time to do it.

Keep up the good work LAguy. You should come up with a rating system including cleanliness, distance from metro station, garota quality, etc. Oh and for my sake make a note of all places with squeaky beds.

At your advice the first thing I do when I enter a new cabine is start jumping on the bed. If it sqweaks I demand another cabine.

If you're still there in September maybe I'll join you on a half Real per min. expedition.

What is Sha Ching? Good report. I don't know what any of these neighborhoods look like that you visit but it sounds like you are willing to go anywhere. Keep 'em cuming.

Tight Fit: Where were you during Turk's reign as the village idiot?

I guess I will have to check this out if I make it to Sao Paulo again over Christmas and New Year's. Thanks for the post LaGuy.

It will be interesting to see what the quality is like. If I can find ladies, the price is cheap enough that I may try to get an early start and see how many ladies/houses I can do in one day.

What is your experience with the hours of operations at these places?

(Message edited by Xenono on July 05, 2004)

Good work, Laguy, it's hard work but someone had to do it. Thanks for the references. It sounds like the talent was too thin to consider duplas, but did you get any info on that?

Xen: Cheap enough indeed. For the price of a session at one of your favorite Copa termas, you can have 10 or more garotas--and at least a few are likely to be decent. Sounds like a fun self-challenge.

Tight Fit. My experience in the areas LAGuy is describing is that they are very nice areas. However--you are right...he will go anywhere. ALthough you may find this a little hard to believe, he feels right at home in places that I might consider a little TOO sleesy (I am aware of the mispelling but a letter on my keyboard does not work).

Laguy, I am going to start counting my cha shings and do a cps (cost per stroke) analysis in addition to a cpl (....per load).

How about the sheets? Do these places actually change them between sessions? 'cause I really loathe playing "Twister" to keep my body parts between all the wetspots.

My $10R session in Belo Horizonte left a lot to be desired in the cleanliness department. Still, I like saving money as much as the next guy. Plus there's something about cruising around an old hotel with hookers hanging out of each door. I miss that "Four Floors of Whores" approach to love and dating.

In the places I visited in SP, and in the 'high end' apartment places in Rio (R$70 per hour), they change the sheets each time. In many cases they come like the towels...sealed in plastic.

Xenono: The hours of operation vary. For example, my present favorite, Al. Jau, 480, opens at about 10 a.m., six days a week, and around 2 p.m. on Sunday (to the best of my memory). I have run across some prives that are open 24/7, having some garotas living on the premises. Others have more restrictive hours, e.g., I went to Al. dos Jurupis, 1408, one Saturday and they were closed. The best way to check, if you know some rudimentary Portuguese, is to use www.gpguia.net's listing of telephone numbers for these places and give them a call.

I have no info on duplas. It might be worth trying at one of the higher end places, such as Al. Jau, 480, where the talent is deep enough to make it a realistic possibility.

Dongringo: All of the casas I visited (I'm up to perhaps 20) provide clean towels, in contrast to some of the Rio lower end places. As to sheets, this is harder to evaluate in that I haven't seen the sheets changed before my eyes; to the extent they are, it is between sessions. Having said this, I really can't say one way or the other whether the sheets are changed at every one of these places, although they may be. However, I haven't seen the wet spots, etc., one tends to see at the lower end Rio places.

Incidentally, I have posted a number of short reports on these places in the Sao Paulo/Prives section of Tree View. I will probably be adding four or five in the near future. And, while redundant with the Prives posts, there is information about perhaps eight or nine casas in the LAguy's Sao Paulo Ins and Outs guide I recently posted.

LAG, love the reports! But I'm sitting here thinking these girls can't be all that hot - no problem, look at the price thus a lesser look should be expected - but can you help us understand just how the girls would fit into the beauty spectrum?

Maybe pick a place we all know (Help? Luamo or 4x4?) and put the girl in question in the place, and where would she rank - top 1/4? middle 1/3? lower 1/2?... this way it puts it to a scale we all know and attempts to somewaht minimilize the differences of individual taste (well, better than saying something like "she was a 6"). Of course, actual photos would be better ;)

FLhobbyer: It is not real easy for me to make comparisons to Luomo or Quatro for the following reason. Many times at Luomo or Quatro it takes me awhile to find a garota of interest. And I often think the overall quality level is not that great at either place. The problem is I am not sure to what extent I am taking into account the price charged at these places when I'm making these judgments.

Having said this, I'm inclined to believe that at the higher end casas, such as Al. Jau, 480, most of the garotas could easily fit into a place like Quatro or Luomo. GCL, who has seen a couple of the higher-end casas (but keep in mind we are only talking around R$50 or 60 for a half hour and R$90 or R$100 for an hour; not super high end) might want to give his impressions on this. At the lower end places, along the lines of R$20 or R$30 per half hour, there may be a few who could fit into a mid-level Rio terma, although this gets more difficult. The garota I was with yesterday, from the last place I visited, may have IMHO been on par with some of the garotas at Quatro, but not the more attractive ones. No problems with her body, but only an average face.

One thing to note is the garotas at these places are generally in the 19 to 24 year old range, and usually are not overweight. This is not, for example, Mexico. Some of the casa garotas are not as professional (or perhaps hardcore) as the terma or Help garotas, and may also view an American client as an interesting novelty rather than a potential cash machine. As a result, I often find the sessions at the casas as satisfying as ones I have had at Rio termas, if not more so. However, others may not have this perspective.

Sorry I couldn't give a more direct, or definitive answer to your question.

I think finding the good garotas is sort of like finding a fine wine. Anyone can splurge and buy a bottle of Opus One and have a good experience if you dont mind paying for it. (Centarus can be the Opus One of Termas for comparison purposes). I like finding the $15 bottle of wine that tastes like Opus One. Likewise, I like finding the awesome chicks in the less expensive places. And they do exist.

The girls in Al Jaś 480 would definately hold their own in Help. I think they would be in the top 40%. THey would be in the top 50% in Luomo. Keep in mind--these places open in the mornings when there are not other options available, so are very conveniant in that regard. You can drop in early, have a massage and session. If the girl isnt very good, then you have only been set back something between R$60 and R$100. I think I have been pretty lucky in that my session in the places in SP and mid-range places in RIo have been very very good.

There is a girl who I found in a R$1 per minute place in Rio that is almost flawless looking. I aint Magellan--others here have probably done her too. Anyway, my clients from California agreed with me and cast her today to do three scenes in an upcoming DVD. I'll announce when her photos are up on their site, or mine so you can check out what I am talking about in terms of quality.

Great report LA. Keep 'em coming.

LAG, it's "ka ching" not "sha ching." Sheez, now I have to teach you English as well?

Murasaki: You, along with Tight Fit, apparently haven't carefully studied the wit and wisdom of Turk 555 (or is it 5555, damn, I'll never get this straight). Perhaps a refresher course is in order. Or maybe a new thread, entitled "The Wit and Wisdom of Turk 555, Deceased, a Retrospective." Anyone interested?

I was only referring to their looks. Ignore their personality, how you hit it off with them, their attitude... ignore all these for purposes of comparing their looks.

I was asking, how pretty are they. Not for a number like 'she's a 6' - but if you threw her in the middle of 300 Help girls, would she be in the top 10? top 100? middle 100? etc...

I'm not saying it's all about looks, but that is what I was asking about. Thanks.

The rest of us got the Sha Ching allusions, Laguy. Things for your excellent investigative reporting!

I'm meeting Porker in BKK in a few hours and will tell him of the bargains you're turning up.

Now with respect to GCL's claim I will go to places even he considers a bit too sleazy (my keyboard works), I must ask what is he talking about? Certainly not the steam room on Rua Augusta where a garota was sitting between the two of us simulataneously stroking our respective dicks, as a complementary dick warming? If that place is too sleazy for you, why have you gone there twice? So then, what in God's name are you, GCL, referring too?

Ummmm...well You got me on that one LAGuy. I wish that place on Rua Augusta just wasnt so damn moist.

But that mulattas unit giving us the handjobs was sweet. We didnt even pay for the handiwork.

cha shing.

Hold it right there. Now I don't have any problem sitting between two garotas and having each of them stroke my dick. But no way I am going to have one garota stroke my dick and that of another guy at the same time. That may not be as bad as sharing the same mouth but it still crosses the line between what is God's will and that of peversion.

Speaking of hands and insulting different people's faiths and cultures, I wonder which hand Arab men use to masturbate.

OK, I'm bored tonight and am running out of things to do. Wouldn't it be great to be in a terma right now? Being stroked? And not sharing it with another guy except maybe for a big grin.

Oh Tight Fit, I forgot to mention. She also was alternating DFKing me and GCL. At least that is to the best of my recollection (well, what else are you going to do when your dick is getting stroked, read a book?).

Actually GCL, you have it all wrong. With the mullata the free hand job wasn't cha shing; it was the antithesis of cha shing: no cha shings. Turk 555 would have been proud of us. Too bad he is dead.

I think I needed to use the sound when the slot machine hits three cherries-- ting ting ting ting ting ting...

Tight-Fit... excellent food for thought. I hope it doesnt turn out that I am gay or anything cause I will have wasted a hell of a lot of money on female whores. cha shing (damnit!)