NIGHT 2


Night #2 was to be different than my first night. Instead of looking all over town trying to get laid it started jumping out in my face. When walking through the hotel lobby to find supper the desk guy asked me how I was. I replied that I had climbed temples all day and that my legs were tired. To this the desk guy exclaimed, “Oh, you need massage! I know lady that come to your room and massage you all night, only $10. You pay me $5 guest charge and I call her for you”. I passed on this one and found an open air restaurant two blocks down the river that was NOT in the tourist guides. Food was very good, a fine four course meal cost me $5 (about half of what I had paid the night before at the touted tourist place). On my way out after dining the waiter asked me if I wanted a girl. Only $5 and he would take me there on his motobike. I asked what she looked like and told him that I liked them young and slender. The waiter paused for a moment and said that he knew another girl who was young and very pretty but that she was $10. I passed on this on too. Riding off into the dark on the back of a motorbike to meet a blind date didn't seem very appealing to me. Besides, I had a massage place to check out.

I walked up toward the Massage/Karaoke place that I had seen. Even from a distance I could see that it was now open. The neon sign was on, the gate was open and the parking lot was lighted by Japanese Lanterns. Half a dozen girls where sitting outside the door and when I approached they were joined by another half a dozen from inside. The girls competed for my attention while I went inside where Mamasan awaited. To call this place “Plain” would be doing it a favor. “Well used” might be closer to the mark. (NOT to be confused with dingy or dirty) The central room was small and bare. No Bar, no front desk. There was no indication that this place had ever been or ever would be a Bar, Karaoke or other. I think Mamasan found the sign “as is” at the local Signs “R” Us store. I asked how much for a massage and was told $10. This batch of girls weren’t bad, but there weren’t any “hotties”. I decided to go for it, picked out a girl and gave mamasan 10 bucks. We went into a very small room pretty much on a par with what you would find in a TJ SG Hotel sans the bathroom. I took off my cloths and laid down on the bed for a rub down. The girl kept her cloths on and started in with a weak massage. After a few moments she leaned close to my ear and asked me what I wanted. OH, NO! I was getting hit up for extras! I told her I wanted everything … you know, BOOM BOOM. She informed me that boom boom was $10 more dollars. This was just like going to an AMP back in Seattle, only move the decimal point down a notch.

I was irritated at myself for having blindly walked into this one. To make matters worse, I only had $7 and a few thousand Reils in my pocket (less than a buck). I told the girl that I had already paid Mamasan $10. The girl didn’t have much English and just kept telling me that boom boom was $10. About this time Mamasan comes busting into the room and wants to know what’s going on. I told her I want boom boom. She said that boom boom is $10. I told her that I already gave her $10. She said that $10 was for the massage and boom boom was $10 more. I told Mamasan that I didn’t have $10 more and pulled out my money clip to prove it. She snatched my money out of my hand complete with money clip. Now that pissed me off. I’d had that money clip for a number of years, bought it in TJ on one of my very first mongering expeditions there (got it on REV, it’s still shiny, must be at least 2% silver). So I grabbed the money and clip back. But, Mamasan was a scraper … once she’s got money in her had she ain’t letting go! We stood there in the middle of that tiny room both of us tugging with all of our might on those bills. I out weigh Momasan 3 to 1 and she lost her balance and fell on the bed with me on top of her. By this time all the girls had crowded into the room to watch the show. We continued to struggle until I got my money back. Momasan got up and straightened her clothing (I had been naked all this time). She said to the girl, “you finish massage” then turned to me, finger pointing like a weapon and venom in her voice, and said, “then YOU go”. She shooed the girls out of the room and exited with a slam of the door. The girl motions me to lie back on the bed. I start to get dressed saying that I don’t want a massage, “I want boom boom”. The girl gestures me to wait and leaves the room. A moment later the girl and Momasan re-enter the room and Momasan holds out her hand palm up. I take the clip off my money and hand Momasan the $7. She counts it. I offer her my wad of reil. She throws it on the floor and leaves while the girl begins to remove her clothing. But, by then nobody was happy and it was just a grudge fuck for me. Ten minutes latter I am out the door.

All the resources advise you to stay calm and be polite in any sort of a confrontation in Asia. I had failed to do this. Basically all my angry outburst got me was a bum lay for $17 and ending a very fine day going to bed pissed off. If I had just left when the tourist/massage trap was sprung I would have saved face and saved $7. Yeah, I wouldn’t have gotten laid but what I did get wasn’t worth the extra $7 … I like to think that my dignity is.

That was hilarious. I could just imagine you butt naked fighting with mamasan over your worthless reils which she later threw on the floor. It's too bad you don't have a video of it because these are the kinds of memories that last. Great show!

I got a different feeling reading the story, one of slight panic. As I travel more and learn about different cultures, I can imagine some pretty bad outcomes. From what my driver told me and what I witnessed in Cambodia, this could have ended much worse. Still, a great story and a learning experience. You'll do better if/when you return.