First a little background. I have hobbied all over the world including Thailand, Rio, Buenos Aires, Cambodia, Jakarta, South Africa (extremely underrrated) and several European destinations. 5 continents down, 2 to go. (Antarctica is going to be a challenge. Looks like I will have to import the talent) After having been to Thailand 6 times in the past five years, I decided to head south. I've read and heard the stories and now it was time to see Pattaya firsthand.

For those of you that have been (and even those who haven't), I was astounded at the sheer numbers of talent. I would estimate a 10:1 ratio of girls to mongers. On the other hand, the girls seem a bit less sophisticated than their Bangkok counterparts. It seems as though once their free schooling is over, it is time to leave the village and head to Pattaya for the chance at a better life. Unfortunately few realize this dream.

During my stay, I decided I would sample every type of venue dedicated to satisfying the hobbyist. From Go-Gos to Beer Bars to Soapies to Massage Parlors. At the end of the day, I found Soi 6 to be the winner. I'm not a GFE/Longtime kind of guy and like my sex on the raw side. Don't get me wrong, Walking Street was kind of fun and the Go-gos always provide the opportunity to fully see the merchandise before purchasing, thereby minimizing potentially nasty surprises. I just felt that the girls on Soi 6 lean towards the nasty side and make no attempts to hide it. They are service providers, clear and simple. No hidden agendas or games. If you are a hummer conniseuer like me, then this is your place. I also liked the open air beer bars on Second Road. Low key, girls don't hassle you, cheap beer and many had live bands. The only downside is the roving hawkers that literally come up to you every 3-5 minutes to try and sell you one of the following: cheap watches, cigarette lighters, lottery tickets, flower necklaces, roses, porn DVDs, pens, wood carvings, toys, polaroid with your favorite bargirl and there are probably some I forgot to mention. I actually had one guy try to sell me a watch and when I said no(while pointing to my wrist where my own cheap watch was located), another guy standing right behind him stepped up and try to sell me a another watch. Absolutely fucking annoying! As for Walking Street -I feel that everyone should spend some time there, if for nothing else, than for the experience. The competition for your baht between Go-gos, Beer Bars, Restaurants and Tailors along with the families mingling with hardcore hobbyists is surreal. It is actually kind of hilarious to sit down have a beer and watch the show. I frequented Ugly Tunas - mostly for the band. Although I'm not a big soapie fan, even when in Bangkok, I decided to give one a try near Walking Street. Overall a notch below Bangkok. Not entirely bad, but nothing memorable. Massage parlors come in every size, shape and form. There is a massgae parlor individually dedicated to every conceiveable body part if you wish. Again a bit of a disappointment as far as services go. Did get several good massages though.

As for accomadation, I stayed at Dynasty Inn. Very comparable to the property in Bangkok, but much less grungy and rundown. I did take a look at Sandy Springs and it seems at least on par with Dynasty, maybe even a little better. Although I don't stay at he Dynasty in Bangkok anymore, you can't beat their deal of a free ride to Pattaya in exchange for a 2 night minimum stay. On a secondary note - I stayed at the Swiss Grottino during my time in Bangkok. It is located behind Robinsons, off soi 19. Baht for baht, this is the best place in town. Think of a newer, better run, Majestic with much larger rooms. Brand new, large, clean rooms, electronic safe, girl friendly (separate entrance) good food, quiet and extremely well run. Daniel, the manager is extrememly service orientated. I got a deal where my 4th night was free. I think it was around 1200B per night. A word of warning though. The rooms have this sliding wood partition over the window that literally blocks out all the light. I woke up one day, took a shower and came downstairs. Daniel was sitting with some friends at his usual table by the bar and when I asked him the time, he replied '5:30". Increduosly I asked, "P.M."? He and his friends thought this was hilarious. Note to self - leave the partition open a crack before going to sleep. They have a website and I think it is swissgrotinno.com.

Restaurant recommendations:
The French restaurant on soi 13. Maison is the name, I think. Real French food cooked by someone who knows what he is doing, reasonable prices and good service. Be warned though this is an open air set-up.

Gregs Kitchen - Second Road and soi 6. Quality Continental cuisine, very reasonably priced.

Lobster Pot - Walking Street. Very good seafood, but priced for the tourist. Great atmosphere though if you get a table on the water.

The hamburger stand on Second Road and soi 13. If there is anything more satifying in the culinary world than a greasy cheeseburger with everything on it, at 3 a.m., after about 12 Heinekins, then I haven't found it. Though the hamburger stand at the entrance to Nana runs a close second.

Some other general observations.
I've devised a system for identifying the different cultures that inhabit and visit Pattya:

Americans - they are all wearing the standard uniform. Shorts, T-shirt/golf shirt and sandals.

Germans - same as Americans except socks with their sandals.

French - same as Germans except smoking dark, funny smelling cigarettes.

British - (the easiest to spot) Shaved head, lots of tattoos, and wearing either the jersey of thier local football club, or no shirt at all.

Koreans - they are either getting into or getting out of a tour bus the size of a jumbo jet.

Pakistanis - they will stop you every 30 meters and try to sell you a cheesy tailored suit. As persistant as hell. Must be able to sucker the occaisonal tourist or else they wouldn't keep trying.

Western women - their hair is cornrowed and they all weigh at least 200lbs.

By the way, I was shocked at how many couples I saw. I just don't get it. There are 3 places I would never take a woman: Thailand, Rio or Vegas. Save it for Paris or a cruise. I don't think these guys really knew what they were getting into as I could see the look of desperation in their eyes as they walked by the Go-gos and Beer Bars, while their fat-assed wives/girlfriends clung onto them.
I also noticed quite a few ex-pats that had settled down and started a family here in Pattaya. I'm sure they all had grand visions of a perfect life in paradise, but in reality they all looked like they had post traumatic stress disorder. You could sense their resignation in the fact that they were trapped with someone who turned out so differently than the bar girl nymph they thought they were marrying. ( now with kids to boot) I'm the last person to give advice, but I have come to the conclusion that one should never fall for a working girl. Invariably the hot sex will wane and at the end of the day, you will actually have to communicate with her. Not an easy task considering where we come from and our educational level vs. her upbringing/background. I'm not saying it can't be done, but the odds have to be overwhelmingly against success.

Here are a few very helpful websites for anyone thinking of visiting:
bahtbus .com (great interactive map)
pattayapages.com
pattay-at-night.com


I leave with one final thought. I challenge anyone to walk down soi 6 from 2nd Rd to Beach Rd and see how many times they hear: Helowwww, Welcooooome! My record is 22.

Cheers

How was the weather? I've consdiered taking a trip to Thailand in August or September. But I've heard stories of the nonstop rain that pours. Is the rain really that bad this time of year? Is it nonp-stop, or just a few minutes per day? thanks

some great and hilarious observations....you like to look at the social dynamics of a mongering destination just as I do....helps keep the mind occupied in between fuck sessions.

I honestly believe that the talent at the gogo bars blows away Bangkok but the soapies have the talent in Bangkok. The difference is that Pattaya is cheaper, more girls in a small area, and the girls are younger and dont have kids.

Blazers-- I'm curious, where's your favorite soap shop in Bangkok now?

Calif_thaied-- The weather this time of year depends on where you plan on going (latitude).

Assuming your heading to central thailand (e.g., bangkok), Sept is by and far the rainiest month. Oct doesn't have "as much" rain as Sept, but depending how bad the Sept rains were there may be flooding. Central thailand precip drops drastically in nov/dec,hense the peak season times. Other places such as Phuket still get a fair amount in Nov tho.

Rains in a monsoonal climate typically come down hard (intensity) and fast (duration). Hope this helps. Check with the troops on the ground now and in sept. for a snapshot picture of how it is this particular year.

Calif thaied
Now that Don Marco has totally confused us all, I think your question remains unanswered. I have been to Thailand during rainy season many times and it actually has some advantages. Far less competition- cheaper rates - no need for reservations anywhere. As to the rain- it tends to purs in sheets of rain so hard you can barely see thru it for 1-2 hours a day usually . Most often in the evening. The rest of the day is fine. The rain actually cools things down. It is faurly rare to see days where it rains all day but it does happen. I would not avoid going in rainy season for sure. I always enjoyed my trips during those months.

Toeknee:

An intelligent report. Thank you.

Excellent report! How about giving us some (relatively) recent information about South Africa?

I'll agree with KM and add this about the weather - I went to Thailand last year at this same time (Labor Day) for 9 days and the forecast at weather.com was rain every day - made sense, it's the rainy season.

So I didn't bring my golf clubs, and didn't book any tee times, figuring the greens would be soaked.

During my 9 days, it rained ONCE for about an hour.

The moral: ANYTIME is a good time to go to Thailand. DOn't plan your trip around the weather.

I wouldn´t worry about it being rainy season in Thailand, I have been there several times in the rainy season, sometimes it would rain for a couple of hours a day, then nothing for several days, never had a wash out day there because of the rain, when it is raining, I just sat there with beer in hand and watch the heavens open up, I found it quite relaxing actually, cools the whole place down as a bonus as well.

Hunter

Yes, how about some info on South Africa, are we talking about Afrikaaner babes, tourists? But I hear the Aids rate is quite high there.

Thanks for the great insights Toeknee, seems like you squeezed in a lot of stuff on your visit there.

Toeknee, did you no see the Ruskis or the Arabs? They're two other large groups in Pattaya. As for couples, I was surprised by the number myself. Curiously, I also noted that many of these couples became threesomes by the time 2AM rolled around. It seems Euro babes appreciate Thai girls.

I'll add a report on the Capetown scene soon. I just got back and need a few days to acclimate.

As for the weather in Pattaya, I too expected lots of rain. Well, it rained a grand total of 2 times, both at night and only for about an hour. I live in South Florida and the weather is a carbon copy of what I see every day. Being my first time in Pattaya, I don't have any other time of year to compare it with. It did seem as though there weren't many hobbyists. I would definitely go back in Aug/Sept. I have been to Bangkok pretty much during every season and the only time I would avoid Thailand is during Songkran. Unless of course you like being soaked from sunrise to well past sunset, not to mention the talc that they put on your face that burns like a motherfucker.

I did get in a couple of rounds of golf. No need to bring any equipment as everything from clubs to shoes is available for rent. The Dynasty even had a couple of sets of clubs for guests.(Of course if you are a scratch golfer and have to have your own sticks, then by all means lug them 22+ hrs to Pattaya) The courses can be challenging. The layouts are top notch, the rough unforgiving, but I found the greens could have been maintained a little better. Not that it would make a whole hell of a lot difference in my game. Overall a great experience as I had a really hot looking caddie at the Phoenix Golf Course. (she did know the course very well and was extremely helpful). I also did the Go-kart thing. It was a blast. They have a 1/2 mile track and you can opt for the souped up version carts.

Wombat - yes I did see the Russians and Arabs. My take on the Russians - they are the ones wearing Speedos on the beach(Italians and French too) If you are ever suffering from one of those 4 hour erections that you hear about on the Cialis commercials, just go to Pattaya beach and see what the European men are wearing. As for the Arabs, you could usually smell them before you can see them.

All in all, other than Africa, there is a lot more to do in Pattaya during the day than pretty much anywhere else. I really liked Pattaya much better than Bangkok. My only regret is that I didn't go sooner, this being my 6th trip to Thailand. Although I'm sure I will return, but for now I am planning another Rio trip first. It's not that Rio is any better than Thailand, it's just different. For those of you who have been to both places, you will know what I mean.

Cheers

Toe,

I'm glad to see you finally be on board with Pattaya-- it is a dirty old/young man's wet dream!!!!

As I keep telling people, all roads and trips should lead to Pattaya. How anyone can not absolutely love the place is beyond my comprehension (well assuming your male).

I second the warning about Songkran. I wanted to see the festival, but ended up HATING being drenched all frickin day long!! The water wouldn't be so bad, but the white crap made me want to beat the hell of a couple people... I have almost no picture from my trip due to not being able to take a camera outside during any part of the day or night.

I would like to go during the rainy season though...

well at least you got to see a lot of wet t-shirts!

Oct is my fav month. The weather is on an uptick and things aren't all that busy. It's my annual pilgramage time back to the motherland.

Yes I agree Songkran in April, is not a good time to go to Thailand, each year it seems to get more and more out of hand.

Hunter

TK, very entertaining report, thanks. Loved the stuff about the shirt-optional shaved-headed tattooed Brits and the corn-rowed Beefalo falang women. Funny, but true. Count me among Soi 6's many fans.

I thought this year Songkran was quieter than last two. Well atleast in Bangkok where I was. Don't know about accident statistics but just looked to be quieter, might have been just the places I was at. It is quite hot though at that time of the year.

I think the rainy season in Thailand is overblown. I play as many rounds of golf in rainy season as any other season. Personally I think it helps cool down the place. Only concern would be for divers as the seas are rough.

If you're on a train to heaven and it stops in Pattaya...............get off.

If a white female kwai laid down naked in the middle of the soi 4/sukhumvit intersection nobody would care.

There's only 4 things a woman needs to do to keep me interested. Suck my Balls, suck my cock make me a sandwich and not talk too much.

Things Haley Joe Osmet would say as an adult in Thailand. " I see white women."

Things I say when I see white women in Thailand, "Please, I just ate."

Oh, the price of a date in Pattaya?
1. Bar fine 500 baht
2. Dinner at a romantic restaurant 800 baht
3. Longtime tip 1500 baht
4. Look on your face in the morning when your date asks to use your razor. Priceless

Ironmanx,

are you my long lost genetic clone? I couldn't of said it better myself -- specially the "4 things a woman need to do.." !

ironmanx great post had me laughing all day thanks funtime