It’s strange, but I saw a LOT of sports this past July on cable in Asia – Euro Cup soccer, Wimbledon, plenty of baseball, and some SUPER weird basketball-esque game (they had a hoop but no backboard, played on a dirt court, don’t think they had to dribble… FUNKY!) from Dubai TV. Like Bangkok, however, few of the many weird Thai TV options were available at the Dynasty Inn in Pattaya. The air-conditioning in the room also had my nose running and sneezing constantly. These things, combined with the relatively high price for a ‘loom’ (Thai talk) during low season in Pattaya (990 baht) reinforced my pre-trip notion that I’d try and find a cheaper hotel option that afternoon for when my initial two-day commitment to Dynasty was up.
Foot Massage Grandma arrived a good 10 minutes early for our 9 AM date, and I had JUST begun shaving in anticipation of her arrival. No problem. I had already taken some vitamin V to make sure that things would be working properly after banging three girls in about 4 hours the previous afternoon. I wanted to make sure that when she brushed the package during the massage that Junior sprang to attention.
As background info, I had met foot massage Granny last summer on my first trip to Thailand when Epimetheus had dragged me into her shop along Second Road for an air- conditioned pampering session. Initially the massage was merely OK, but when I told her I liked it rough and to HURT ME, she really put her manos de acero (hands of STEEL!) to work and made me CRY in both pain and delight. I figured if she could do that to my legs and hands/forearms, I sure wanted to see what she could do to the rest of me, and made a date for her to pay me a visit for a few hours after the shop closed at midnight.
She showed up with one of the other girls that Epi had booked, and while playing around for a minute or so in my room, Epi somehow had her shirt pulled up to reveal some huMONGOUS, eye-popping jugs straining a leopard patterned bra. My mouth dropped open a bit at the sight, but I figured that she was only there for a massage and I was eagerly anticipating her tearing me UP!
And she DID, but her massive sweater meat kept brushing against my cock in the process, which made me pitch a tent and both of us giggle as she pretended to ignore it and continue the massage. As my stomach was acting up (too much V and Singha beer), I excused myself at one point to head to the shower, and when I got back she did the same. When she got back to the bed clad only in a towel, I started playing with her tits (which were completely HUGE and seemed to be as heavy as the average bowling ball), and soon she was sucking my cock, and the next thing I knew I was screwing her gigantic tits and dumping a load in the valley that ran down to her chin.
I was eagerly anticipating an exact replay of that encounter this time (well, hopefully minus the stomach problems that had me coughing up blood and heading to the hospital on Soi 4 the next morning!), but Granny apparently had different ideas. She was being extremely lazy, and instead of offering that world class flesh-kneading massage, she simply wanted to cuddle on the bed and be romantic. As I was a little drunk already that morning, I went with the flow, and I’m kind of ashamed to say that soon we were making out and I was pretty much MAKING LOVE to one of the ugliest women I have ever had touch my dick. I mean this chick is FUGLY! Buck teeth, old, built like a rotund garbage can with giant boobs sticking out… GNARLY!
But… as you might imagine, she turned out to be a GREAT fuck! And did I mention that I was simply MESMERIZED by her gigantic tits? I am really, really, really NOT PROUD that I not only FUCKED foot massage granny, but that I KISSED HER the whole while. I mean a BJ and a titty fuck are a LOT different than being INTIMATE. Sorry, my stomach is turning here as I write this… But at the TIME it sure was a lot of FUN! I guess you had to be there…
I felt so used afterwards, as well, when she simply showered and headed off to work. I wept for all of 4 seconds, then headed across the street to the Lek Hotel which supposedly had a decent buffet breakfast for an extremely attractively priced 99 baht. As this included beverage, I thought it to be a decent deal.
While eating amongst a bunch of Euro families, a guy from Dynasty that I had met on the vanride down to Pattaya ended up joining me and we talked for a bit and agreed to meet up later for a bit of seeing the Pattaya pooying sights. This guy was on his second trip to Thailand, and was simply a wide-eyed, drooling zealot about what a great place Thailand was. He got no arguments from me.
After breakfast I called Ilaw and he agreed to accompany me to check out some of the other hotel options in Pattaya that I might be able to switch to. We ended up taking a look at close to double digit places between Dynasty on Soi 13 and Soi 7 before I finally decided that Flipper House on Soi 7 would be the best mix of a decent room at a good price (650 baht/night, cheaper for longer stays) and made a reservation for the next day.
After a LOT of walking in steamy, sun-drenched Pattaya, Ilaw and I headed back Dynasty to cool off, but ended up stopping in at Tahitian Queen, an early-opening go-go on Beach Road that’s just around the corner from the hotel. TQ already had quite a crowd in the late afternoon, and the place was pretty fun.
My new friend from the vanride met up with us there and we then headed to Walking Street for some dinner and some go-go hopping. We ate at some Italian place, I think it was called “Joe’s”, and it was a little ways past most of the popular go-gos. I had eaten there with Size 15 back in December, and the food was decent at a decent price.
Heading out barhopping on Walking Street is pretty much a can’t miss proposition, you really can’t go too far wrong by stopping into just about ANY of the go-go bars there. But I suggested starting at Happy a Go Go, and it certainly seemed like a good choice once we stepped inside and got seated near the stage: The place was literally PACKED with pussy! And while I’m sure Happy has a number of average looking girls, the ones WE ALL kept flipping our heads around to see were pretty damned stunning. I’m sure there are a number of flat-chested girls there too, but I remember seeing waaaay more than a handful of girls with BEAUTIFUL tits. They weren’t generally hanging D-cups (my faves), but if you like PERFECT C’s, Happy has a LOT of eye-candy for you.
Unfortunately, the stage being PACKED with hotties was almost like OVERLOAD when it came time to possibly pick one to explore extra-curricular activities with. I would focus on one and drool for a minute or two, but by the time I was sufficiently in lust to decide ‘YEAH, THAT ONE!’, it seemed that my fixation would be broken by some other girl putting me into a similar trance. There were a SHITLOAD of hotties at Happy a Go Go in early July.
Upon exiting I ended up running into a guy known on many boards as Omega, an old friend from TJ who I knew was going to be in Pattaya at the same time I was (and staying at the same hotel that I was moving to the next day). He was off to see a friend who owned a bar and was throwing some sort of party that evening, but we begged off in order to go over to Peppermint a Go Go when the friend’s bar was deader than Ronald Reagan.
And man, what a good decision, as Peppermint was ‘off the HOOK’. My vanmate had warned me before we went in that Peppermint was titty central, even MORE so than Happy, and man, the boy did NOT exaggerate! If the prudes in Bangkok could have seen the extreme amount of flesh that assaulted the eye as we entered, I’m sure all of Pattaya would have been shut down the next day, but I’m sure that’s why security at the door of Peppermint was extra tight. I can’t give justice with a description, but there were (at least) four stages with varying numbers of luscious topless Thai girls, plus several dancing on table tops throughout the bar. Every once in awhile a girl would enter the stage with her bikini top on, but that would generally last about 15 seconds before she’d whip it off and start jiggling like all the rest of the girls. My mouth dropped open immediately upon entering, and I don’t think it closed the whole time I was there!
My initial target was a girl with BIG C’s and silver dollar nipples dancing on the stage closest to us, but as I stopped her for a second in passing when she descended the stage, she appeared quite disinterested in being within 3 feet of me and moved on to find easier (and probably deeper-pocketed) targets. STRIKE ONE!
I THOUGHT strike two came a few minutes later when I had a waitress call over a girl from the back fishbowl that had been putting on quite a show to get a group of guys at a table in front of the glass to buy ping pong balls and throw them over the glass where the girls would clap and preen and divide up the tips in labeled buckets. She apparently reluctantly came over, and while I didn’t really understand it at the time, she was REALLY not interested in sitting down and having a drink, and nor was the mamasan, as she was one of the featured girls in the bar and earned a LOT more from those stupid ping pong balls that apparently are quite popular with Japanese guys.
Her name was Jack (yeah, nice name!), and while her face had a bit of an odd look to it, she had a GREAT body with C-cupped tits that were rather banana-shaped. But what got me HOT about her was the way she’d playfully lift her skirt and show off her black beaver while doing a little happy dance when the dudes would throw the balls over the wall. After consulting with the mamasan, she did come over and have a seat, and while not appearing UNhappy, she didn’t say a whole lot, and I got to do a lot of the talking, something that usually makes me think I should cut bait and simply move on.
And sure enough, after 10 minutes or so, she told me she needed to get back to her dancing, while thanking me for the drink.
One thing I had been looking forward to doing on this trip was to get a go-go hottie and at least short time her – to experiment with a purely looks-based barfine rather than the usual attitude-based choice, and I figured that Jack would certainly qualify as a trophy girl. So, despite my better judgement, and despite the rather lame ineratcion over a drink, I called for the mamasan and told her I wanted to barfine Jack and asked her to call her back down so we could discuss the transaction. But, to my utter surprise (despite a friend telling me the deal well before that – it was posted on a sign next to her stage), the mamasan told me that she would call her over, but Jack couldn’t be barfined before the club closed at ~2:30. The good news was, though, according to the sign, that the barfine was FREE!
And Jack and the mamasan both confirmed that deal: At 2:30 the fishbowl girls were apparently free to cut whatever deal they wanted and the bar charged no barfine. As it was several hours before that, I asked Jack if she wanted to go with me, and she said she did, but I had to wait until 2:30. Having been burned by waiting around for bargirls many times in the past, I tried to re-confirm this, and she and the mamasan both assured me that if I was present at 2:30 that Jack was MINE and there’d be no barfine. Fully aware that I MIGHT flake just as easily as she could, I agreed that I’d come back for her at 2:30 and left with my table-mates to go hunting in cheaper waters, the soi 7-8 beer bars, while Omega tried to hook up a session with a girl on the feature stage behind us.
We jumped on a baht bus (10 baht, about a quarter) and got off on the corner or Second Road and Soi 7 figuring we’d stop at the first beer bar complex that had the proper mix of cuties and hunger for attention. We made it slightly past Flipper House before Ilaw and I saw something we liked on the right side of the street. Ilaw soon had three girls all OVER him, while I had one that did nothing but a super-enthusiastic bump and grind assualt on my crotch. Our third amigo didn’t like the leftovers and kept heading down Soi 7 looking for inspiration.
It was about 11 PM at that point, and I still had Jack from Peppermint on the brain, but as my beer bar girl was showing me, there was some PRESSURE building from not having been laid in 12+ hours. While I hadn’t PLANNED on partaking from the beer bars, it did dawn on me that my go-go ‘date’ was no sure thing, and that I was horny right THEN. And the more the beer bar girl gyrated about my crotch, the more I wanted to penetrate her in the most expedient manner possible. But having a backup plan let me be a bit choosy, and I tried my best to interview the beer bar girl, who passed every test with flying colors. She apparently liked me ‘mak mak’ and was up for any request. Knowing full well the old adage about a ‘bird in hand’, and figuring a 200 baht barfine and likely 500 baht short time session wasn’t a huge commitment one way or another, I paid the bar and we happily headed down to Beach Rd. to get the baht bus back to Dynasty.
My girl was giving off all the right signals that a fanTASTIC GF experience was waiting for me as soon as we got back to the room, and I was pretty excited about it. While this girl wasn’t nearly the hottie that the go-go girl was, she was exTREMELY enthusiastic, and had a nice body (minus the tits) in her own right.
And once in the room, things certainly started well enough. Despite the fact that she seemed to be a little too interested in the TV once I turned it on, my love of the hour made out with me and groped and it mademe feel like a horny teenager in the backseat of a car.
Photos: ‘No BJ for YOU’ 17 18
The Asia shower ritual seemed to throw things off, however. As most Asian girls prefer, we took turns showering, and I went last, emerging to find her seemingly engrossed in the dance program on TV. We kissed for a bit more, but things went WAAAAAY south when I told her, OK, time for the BJ. My girl calmly and politely refused. A bit dismayed, I figured I’d try again, a bit more seriously, which was met with a response of “I don’t smoke, OK?”
Uhhh, NOT OK.
I explained that NO, it was NOT ‘OK’, and then told her, again, that it was BJ time. She kept repeating the ‘I don’t smoke, OK’ line, and it soon became clear that there was to be no BJ on the program.
While I have probably had more non-BJ sessions in Asia than I have had BJ’s because of quick penetration resulting from an initial making out session, I had very rarely been refused a BJ if I’d even hinted at one. And in almost every other respect, my beer bar girl was exactly as I expected her to be. But with a ‘date’ looming with my go-go girl and the slap in the face by her insistence at not sucking dick, it didn’t take me long to change from ‘Mr. Happy Go Lucky I’m About to Get LAID’ to Mr. ‘Then Get the Fuck OUT’!. I had barfined this girl based on attitude much more than looks, and when her attitude was less than optimal, I quickly figured I had better options. She pouted for a bit, then headed for the bathroom to get dressed as I asked her to.
Not sure what to do regarding compensation (I WANTED to give her NOTHING as I had already paid her bar and she was being dismissed for cause, IMO), I gave her 200 baht as we were leaving the room together, as I didn’t want any bullshit from her about money. And she said nothing as she pocketed it and we headed for the elevator. But as the elevator was on the verge of opening, she said ‘OK, I smoke you for 2000 baht’. Wrong answer, honey. Bye bye.
I killed an hour or so in my room before heading back to Walking Street and Peppermint about 2 AM to see if my ‘date’ with Jack would actually happen. And sure enough, she was initially quite happy to see me and things were looking pretty good.
But after she changed and the lights came on and she came heading towards me, she got a call and then started yammering away in Thai and getting rather un-amused expressions on her face. Looked like the classic boyfriend bitch-out session to me. Oh well, I didn’t plan to MARRY HER!
And sure enough, after her little phone war, she told me ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t STAY with you tonight’, as her ‘mother’ needed her to come home. Oh well, I guess SHORT TIME will have to do! I said this to her, and soon we were off arm in arm to seek out a baht bus back to Dynasty.
Jack wasn’t extremely talkative again on our trip back to the hotel, but she was pleasant enough, and didn’t appear in any rush once we got in the room. We talked for awhile and made out for a bit before trading showers and getting down to business, where she turned out to be very satisfying.
Photos: Jack - Peppermint 19 20 21 22
Despite having no Thai SIM card, I asked for her number before she left and she gave it to me and told me to call her the next day (Monday) her day off. I wasn’t sure whether I would or not, but was rather happy to have the number just in case I wanted a second helping.
I didn’t really know what to pay for a Pattaya go-go hottie, but figured 1500 baht (Baht was ~40-1 during my trip) short time couldn’t be TOO offensive. But then I realized that there had been no barfine involved and decided on a whim to give that money to HER as well, and ended up giving her 2000 for about an hour of her time. I didn’t have any problem spending money on quality looks and performance after I’d been completely undwerwhelmed by the beer bar girl just a few hours before. At least Jack earned whatever she got!