I crossed the San Diego border at 8:45pm, 15 minutes before the second to last bus to Ensenada. The station is easy to find, it's on the street to the right just past the Taxi Libre pickup behind the large building with mirrored windows. From the first border turnstiles, take a right at the intersection and walk through a second set of turnstiles. Cross the street and walk past all the yellow taxis and the McDonalds and to the right just past the Taxi Libre pickup at the roundabout. The bus station is easy to find, you can't miss it.
Tickets were inexpensive at less than $8 for the one way ride. Roundtrip was available for $12, but with a little uncertainty of how acceptable the bus ride would be or when exactly I would return, I opted for the one way ticket. There were plenty of empty seats inside the station to wait, but like the other passengers, I waited outside for the bus to load. A few minutes before 9pm, the driver started collecting tickets as we entered the bus.
Given the late hour, there were few passengers, probably only about 10 of us in a bus that seated maybe 40. I grabbed an empty seat about a quarter of the way in past one of the televisions. It's possible that there was a seat number on my ticket stub, but I didn't bother to check, there were too few passengers for it to matter. My return ride was a different story with a bus that was nearly full and we were expected to take our assigned seats. We rolled onto the road about 10 mintues after 9.
The bus was nice and comfortable with plenty of room and lots of storage space on both sides of the aisle. After 15 minutes, I figured that they wouldn't be playing a movie, so I tried to sleep to help pass the time. About the closest I came was a semi-conscious daze. An hour and a half later I began to perk up and noticed that we were off the highway and driving down Ensenada streets. We pulled over 10 minutes before 11pm and exited the bus in front of a Gigante supermarket. A few taxi drivers were waiting, so I just grabbed the one closest to the bus when he offered the ride. The quoted price was $3 to Anthony's which I agreed to without negotiation. It's possible I could have gotten it for less for the short ride (I hadn't researched the taxi ride beforehand) but the price seemed reasonable. A few minutes later I was dropped off in front of Anthony's.
Armed with just my backpack full of clothes for a few days, I walked to the right of the big gorilla into the parking lot where the Motel 49 was located. As the desk clerk helped a couple renting a short time room, I looked over the signs in the mostly bare office. The price for the short time rooms was $12. Overnight rates were $27. I asked to see one of the rooms, so the desk clerk led me upstairs to one facing the back of the front desk. The room would probably be considered unacceptable by many, but it was already 11pm and I didn't feel like hotel hunting... besides I figured the Anthony's girls would be pretty comfortable here since it was their standard short time hotel.
I went back downstairs to pay my $27 before returning upstairs to shower and change. The room reminded me of the Hotel Leyva in Tijuana in size and decor, but this room had a small wall mounted TV, although I never tried it out. The bedspread was an ugly pale yellow with a few small holes and some kind of stain in the corner (not that kind of stain). The dresser had an uncovered vase of water, presumably for drinking. (It'd be a snowy day in hell before I'd drink that) In the bathroom, a corner of the sink was broken off. Two white towels hung off the shower door, one which should have been dead and buried long ago with nearly all of the fluffy part worn off. I ended up using the old towel to dry off anyways in case I had a guest that wanted to shower later. It felt like I was drying off with a rag.
I cleaned up then headed downstairs and stood in front of the lot to the Motel on Avenida Miramar. To the left was Anthony's on the corner with Men's Club across the street at the base of the T intersection formed with Boulevard Costero. To the right of the lot I saw a 24 hour restaurant called "Chili Bowl". Further up Miramar was a place called El Pescador kitty-corner from the block I was on.
After the brief establishment of my bearings, I walked into Anthony's at about 11:30pm. The bar was well laid out and festively decorated, but pickings were slim with at most about 25 girls, a disappointing surprise with Thursday nights in AB in TJ packed recently. Worse yet, the average age seemed to be significantly higher. I only spotted one girl that appeared to be under 25. She was attractive, but in what I would describe an average sort of way. She actually could pass for an American college student, not sensuous nor exotic, just moderately pretty. She seemed somewhat aloof, raising the question of whether she would be worth what would be in my experience an inflated price (they quote minimum $80-$100 short time in Anthony's). She caught me looking at her several times, but seemed to care less. In fact, hardly any of the girls seemed to care about generating business save for a couple older blondes that took somewhat of an interest in me. One was probably in her 40's but was somewhat attractive, I'd say she was slightly older but prettier than Candi in TJ, but with a better body. The other blond had kind of a cute face, but was overweight. I spoke with the blondes for a bit, but strangely, we never exchanged names. As I nursed my drink I made another disappointing observation. There were a fair number of customers and they were inviting girls to the tables, but very few of them would stay for long. It seemed almost like clockwork, like they had a fixed amount of time with which to make their sale or they would leave. I thought this was bad in TJ on occasion, but it seemed much worse here and surprising given that it wasn't that busy.
I had brought my expectations down, kind of a compartmentalization of past experiences (Brazil, Thailand, etc...). I've been able to do this quite well to make the most of my visits to less popular places and be pleasantly surprised. Already knowing to somewhat expect what I've just described, it still caught me offguard and I found myself somewhat disappointed. I thought Thursday at 11:30pm would be prime, but these three seemed to be the best Anthony's had to offer.
Before I left, the overweight blond approached again and made a pitch for me to take her to the hotel. She seemed to describe getting off at 1am and being willing to meet me in the parking lot so I could avoid the $18 bar fine. She assumed that I spoke better Spanish than I did, perhaps because speak with much less of an American accent than most, as she was talking faster than I could translate well. I ended up saying, "OK" and left. She seemed happy with that. I had intended to just say "OK" as opposed to "Yes" as a way of ending the conversation, but as I walked out of the bar I was thinking maybe she interpreted my response as an agreement to meet her afterwards. I didn't want a misunderstanding, but I didn't want to walk back into the bar simply to clarify I didn't want to see her, so I just kept walking to continue my research of Ensenada clubs.
Since it was still early, I decided to skip Men's Club for now and do a little walking to find some other bars. The next street up on Miramar was Avenida Lopez Mateos. El Pescador was here which I recognized as a potential from ClubHombre postings, but it looked dead so I decided to continue up the street. I could see touts up the street and was soon approached by one asking me to come into a bar called Jacarandas if I was looking for girls. I generally don't like touts, but I decided to go in for research purposes.
Jacarandas was hardly impressive outside and was even uglier inside, but I immediately noticed that the talent was better than Anthony's, particularly with a more acceptable average age range. I immediately saw three doables, but I couldn't see too clearly in the dim lighting and they were not remarkably impressive from what I could make out. I took a seat in the back and ordered a drink while I surveyed the place. There were only several other customers in the place. The stage was really bad for a strip club, hardly more than a raised platform with a pole in the middle. Still, the talent was better than Anthony's so I pressed the tout for some information. He told me I could pull a girl from the place if I wanted and that they'd quote me $100 plus I'd have to pay a bar fine. He also mentioned something about getting girls for $50 or less, but I wasn't certain if he was talking about the girls down or if he was referring to street girls outside. I should have had him clarify, but I was preoccupied watching one of the dancers and looking over the club at the same time. After my drink, I decided to hit the next club, mentally noting that Jaracandas would be preferrable to Anthony's simply for the talent. Upon walking out I glanced at the three doables to verify they would be acceptable...they seemed to be.
Paris was next as the flashing sign across the street from Jacarandas beckoned me in. The step up from Jacarandas was remarkably different as I entered with more upscale lighting and decor to put in on par with one of your nicer strip clubs you might find in TJ or parts of the US (but not close to the really nice places) The stage was very large with two poles and red running lights around the base which added a nice glow to the dancers. A staircase was visible in the back to the right of the dressing room which led upstairs to the private dance area. This bar was packed with customers. While it was readily apparant that the talent was better than Jacarandas and far exceeeded Anthony's, I reasoned that pulling a girl out of this place would likely be a large challenge without a severe hit to the pocketbook. With so many customers and a fair number taking the girls upstairs for private dances at $20 each, I didn't think I'd get very fair with the $100 I was willing to spend.
I grabbed one of the few empty seats and started watching the dancers. One of them that caught my eye appeared older in the face, but had a hot spinner body and what appeared to be a great attitude, at least from her dance performance. I pulled out a couple bucks to tip her and get a closer look. She had the body of an 18 year old, but the face looked mid 30's. I don't know if she was that old, it appeared almost as though her face looked worn from too much sun exposure.
Although she received tips from guys all over the bar, I was the first one she approached after her set, asking if she could sit with me. I agreed and bought her a drink which was $10 I believe...that seemed to be the standard price for drinks in most strip clubs. We spoke shortly before asking if she could give me a private dance upstairs. She quoted the price at $20 for two songs. I was hesitant to blow $20 on a couple dances with a girl with only an average face, but I liked her body and attitude and figured it was for research so I accepted. We made our way upstairs as a group of guys stared at her.
I paid my $20 to a girl at a desk then we walked down a hall with small open booths before reaching an empty one near the end of the hall. The dancer took my beer and set it on the floor and had me sit in the chair. She removed my first and started dancing half-way into the first song. I thought the whole set up was really lame and couldn't believe this private area was so shoddy. The dancer was ok and encouraged my hands and face all over her body, but I wasn't really into it. At the end of the second song, she thanked me and left, leaving me with my shirt off sitting alone on a chair in a small box. I've never been to Nogales, but I had heard about the closet booths and wondered if this was like what they were describing.
As I left the booth I heard some bumping going on in last booth. The dancer never offered any additional services, but I wondered to myself whether it was available after hearing what sounded like a couple getting busy. I never bothered to find out.
I walked back downstairs and watched a few dances but I quickly got bored. I spotted one VERY attractive girl who I believe was named Monserat. She was in league with Sylvia and Deyanira, IMHO the hottest girls in TJ, but Monserat was petite. I was tempted to stick around until she got free, but decided I didn't want to blow any more money on $10 drinks and stupid lap dances and was pretty certain I'd have a problem pulling Paris' best looking dancer out of the place.
I decided to head over to Men's Club. On the walk there I noticed what appeared to be a couple of transvestites working the street near Paris. There appeared to be some street girls working across from El Pescador on Miramar, but they were old and ugly. After passing Chili Bowl I made a right into the lot to stop by my room. The overweight blond was standing there and smiled. I smiled and walked past her. I thought she might have been waiting for me, but she didn't say anything and I wasn't interested doing her at the moment.
I walked past the blond again on my way out and crossed the street to enter Men's Club. The interior kind of reminded me of a circus tent. The place was huge but poorly decorated and practically empty. I decided to have a seat anyways even though there were only about 5 girls that I could spot, none of them looking very impressive. The cutest one approached me after a short period. By cute I mean relative to the others, at best I could describe her as average. She was incredibly skinny which made a little uncomfortable as it made her look too young. Still, she seemed friendly so I bought her a drink. The $10 I shelled out brought back what appeared to be little more than a shot glass of what I believe was a wine cooler. She caressed me with her hands as we sat, the most agressive public treatment I had received since I arrived. I noticed one of the waiters was hovering nearby and was right on top of us as she neared the end of her drink. I wasn't too happy about that, but I bought another one for her anyways. After I paid for the second drink the girl straddled my lap and had me play with her almost non-existent tits. I didn't like her body, but she was very sensual which brought some brief enjoyment until I noticed the waiter impatiently hovering nearby again. As she finished the second drink the waiter jumped us again, but I politely declined and excused myself. The girl seemed disappointed, but asked me to come back and visit her later. I said I might, but I knew I wouldn't. I thought Men's Club was a dump.
I headed back into Anthony's to see if any other girls arrived. Unfortunately, the already slim pickings were even thinner, so I just sat there watching unenthusiastic girls briefly sitting with various guys before returning to their positions when the guys wouldn't take them to the room in time. A few sat for extended periods of time and a few made it upstairs, but they seemed to be the exceptions. I left again, figuring my best shot would be one of the three at Jacarandas.
After watching a few dances, I had one of the waiters bring the cutest one over. She introduced herself as Vanessa and seated herself at the table while the waiter went to fetch our drinks. We spoke shortly, but then halfway into our drinks the Jacarandas management decided to close early. I asked Vanessa if she left with customers. She confirmed she did, but then put me off with a $150 price quote. I thought about it for a minute as she waited inquisitively, but the waiters were soon prompting me to leave. Vanessa then said she had to go too, so I decided it wasn't worth pursuing, especially not for $150.
The overweight blond had still been there when I headed to Jacarandas, but she was gone when I backtracked to Anthony's. In her place were a couple of other girls waiting at the lot entrance for potential customers. I walked past them and back into Anthony's.
None of the girls intrigued me, making me realize that I was likely going to end up empty handed this evening. I contemplated just holding my breath and picking one so I could head back the next day, but I figured I deserved to give Ensenada a Friday night shot and that it would be better to save my $100 then spend it on a girl I wouldn't give $40 to in TJ. Anthony's soon closed and a few girls moved to the wall outside the bar on Miramar. I learned that the lot entrance was a regular pick up for action from girls that usually worked Anthony's and that the target area expanded to the Miramar side of the building upon closing.
I headed over to the Chili Bowl to order some food, deciding on their spicy chili. I thought the food was overpriced, especially after I got the order and started eating. I expected the chili might be their specialty given the name of the restaurant, but I thought it was some of the worst chili I've ever had. It was spicy, though, actually too spicy for me to eat very much, but not the kind of spicy I like. Generally I like the red pepper kind of spice that you might find in asian restaurants or even the red hot sauce at taco stands, but this was kind of a bland tasting but very strong spice. I got a container to put it in even though I didn't think I was going to try eating any more later.
I spent about the next half hour just sitting outside while I struggled with taking one of the four older, average looking girls to my room. A number of cars drove by and a couple were picked up. I spoke with the remaining too since I was moderately horny, but I just couldn't bring myself to spending money on them. Eventually, these last two decided to call it a night and bailed. With the streets almost completely empty now, I headed upstairs to my room to find a cockroach waiting, but he quickly scrambled behind the dresser after I turned the lights on. I cleaned up and hopped into the bed, hoping the next day would go more smoothly.
FRIDAY
I spent most of the daytime Friday just exploring. I found two Internet cafes, Ciberlinux on the second level of Plaza Mauina on Lopez Mateos across from the Gecko store and Equinoxio on Boulevard Costero across from the movie theater. I headed back to the motel to pay for another night as noon approached, opting for convenience and inexpensive over taste and comfort. I did a little research at the iCafe but didn't find out too much. El Pescador, aka Denny's Bar, seemed to be a place I needed to hit. I also discovered there was a strip club called Hot Fox nearby. Trece Negros was an option but I forgot to check it out. Los Mostachones and La Mirage were also listed, but the maps showing their location on their respective websites were crap and absolutely worthless. (Actually the entire sites were crap. Besides shoddy designs, I hate when sites like that use fake model pictures while suggesting they are their dancers.)
The rest of my daytime hours were nothing special. I ate at McDonalds and Pizza Hut, wasted some time in an arcade, and planned to see "I, Robot", but ended up missing it because I was reading news stories at the iCafe.
I stopped by Anthony's a few times in the daytime, but only a couple girls were working and they hid themselves in the back corner. About 8pm I came back in and sat for a while as I watched girls start to mill in. I noticed one cute blond that wasn't there the night before, but the rest of the talent appeared to be much of the same. I hung out for a while observing much of the same scene I saw the night before when a worthy brunette under 25 finally walked in. I beckoned her over and invited her to a drink.
Denise, a petite curly haired brunette was very friendly and smiled a lot for about the first 10 minutes until Ms. Business kicked in and her face turned serious, asking if I was going to take her to the hotel. Her invitation was delivered poorly and would have been an instant disqualification in TJ, but appeared to be by far the best overall option I had seen so far so I didn't let that deter me. Her $80 price quote was acceptable, so I paid the waiter $18 for the bar fine before we left to head to room.
Photo: Denise
We didn't have the 25 minute time limit so there was no need to rush, but we didn't really spend a lot of time doing anything else either as I had nothing in my room but clothes and toiletries. Although the room wasn't tiny, it did seem noticeably hotter with both of us in there. The session was decent, probably better than what the average girl provides to the average newbie in TJ, but it was a little less than the average quality session I receive in TJ as a veteran of that scene. The only real negative of the session was she had a slight case of stinky pussy. Fortunately it wasn't bad enough to ruin the session, but it was mark against her. Afterwards Denise got showered and dressed to head back into the bar for more work, total time was probably under an hour.
I walked over to El Pescador/Denny's to pick up where I left off on the research. The establishment was nicer than both Jaracandas and Men's Club, but not as nice as Paris. The level of talent was just above Men's Club, so unfortunately there was no one there I would consider pulling. One noticable thing about the place was that the water I ordered was less expensive than anywhere else, but then again it was delivered in a glass and could have been chilled tap water. I didn't really like the place so I left to head to the next bar.
Hot Fox was a few blocks away on the corner of Second and Avenida Ruiz. This strip club was the only one I visited that had a cover. I believe it was only $3, but it might have been $6. I was surprised to discover the interior looked much smaller than it appeared outside. The dance stage was tiny and the seating throughout the place looked cheap and poorly laid out. Suprisingly, Hot Fox was moderately busy and there were a few attractive dancers. Most likely this was due to location as Hot Fox is in a more touristy area near Hussong's Cantina and other "normal" bars and clubs.
I ordered a drink while eyeing the dancers scattered throughout the place. One blond in particular caught my eye, I watched as she scored a couple drinks off an American. He finally declined one of the drinks at which point the dancer shrugged to the waiter and soon excused herself. She approached soon after that and asked if the seat next to me was taken. Of course it wasn't, so she sat down and started to strike up a conversation. About a minute in, the request for a drink came. I was already tired of the place, so I declined and excused myself to leave. As I walked out I saw long line of unknowing tourists waiting to pay the cover to get inside. I wanted to tell them all it was a complete waste of time and money, but of course I wouldn't do something so dangerous.
Just up the street from Hot Fox was La Carreta, a local's bar that a tout from the previous night suggested I visit. I walked past at first as it didn't look appealing, but doubled back to get some info on the place. I could immediately tell it wasn't my thing. The bar was huge and spacious but consisted mostly of male clients with a few unattractive girls scattered among some of them. Two couple were on a dance floor spinning the the loud banda that was playing. I took a seat next to the dance floor not too far from a single gem in the place that was seated at the bar looking very serious.
After my waiter brought me my drink he suggested that I invite the girl at the bar over. She looked completely uninterested in company, but I decided to give it a shot anyway. He soon returned to apologize, telling me that she was waiting for her boyfriend. There were no other girls remotely interesting in the place, but I stayed for a while anyways sipping my drink. Finally I got up and walked a couple more blocks to visit Paris.
Paris was again busy like the previous night with talent that appeared mostly the same but a couple new cuties I didn't see the night before. The clear winner was still Monserat, I got a good look at her when she came up with the rest of the other dancers as they crowded the stage for a two for one dance special. I contemplated getting a dance from her just because she was so cute, but I was happy when someone else got to her before me. I didn't want to wait so I left, thinking to myself it was better that I don't waste money teasing myself with lap dances just to work myself up into overspending good money on a older, less attractive girl later.
I hadn't written down the addresses of the other places and didn't want to hop into a cab anyways to visit other clubs that I had low expectations for (Anthony's supposedly being the best for P4P and hardly impressive at that) so I decided to finish off my night at Anthony's.
I was surprised to see a girl as young and more attractive than Denise available now. Strangely, she looked more Asian than Latin with a really deep tan that made her look like an Issan stunner out of Thailand. She had beautiful long black hair and a gorgeous face with a wide smile. Unfortunately, she was occupied and spent a decent amount of time with a table of guys. I expected them to take her, but surprisingly she left after a while, I guess she was ready to leave and they weren't, I couldn't imagine why they would let her go with the lack of any better talent in the place.
I soon introduced myself and invited her to a drink. Her name was Samantha and she was from Acapulco. She seemed hesitant at first, almost as though she was both surprised and confused about why I would be asking her to sit with me, but eventually she followed me to a table in the corner. After we sat and ordered our drinks, I attempted to have a conversation with her but it didn't go very well. She was smiling but otherwise came across as an airhead with absolutely nothing interesting to say. I tried a little trick of getting her to say something silly, but she wasn't cooperative. Non-cooperation to simple requests in the bar are usually indicators of less than average sessions based on my TJ interview techniques, so although Samantha was gorgeous, she was looking less and less appealing. Then, to top it off, my time ran out. Samantha hadn't even touched her drink, but she was already asking me to take her upstairs. I figured all her patience was spent on her previous victim. I asked the price to which she quoted $100 (plus the $18 bar fine). I decided my time wasn't worth spent haggling with her for what I expected to be a subpar session anyways, so I declined. She seemed really surprised, then excused herself and left, leaving a full drink at the table. At least the drinks for girls there were only $5 instead of $10.
I had noticed Denise getting a least two other sessions in addition to my own and the college brunette from the first night getting too, but it didn't appear to me as though any of the other girls got much business. I hung out for a while longer, but Samantha was the only girl that appealed to me and I didn't want to waste money on her. Eventually I decided to call it an early night and headed upstairs to bed.
SUMMARY
The next morning I did a little shopping and visited a tourism office where I got a free map and instructions to the bus station. After packing up and returning the key, I walked the 9 blocks, but they weren't really long blocks so it wasn't too bad. I arrived about 20 minutes before the next departure, so I bought my ticket and walked outside to wait. While boarding, I noticed the passengers in front of me checking their ticket stubs and matching them up to the seat numbers, so I did the same and sat in my assigned seat of #10. The bus was about 3/4 full after all the passengers boarded, but after we started on our way the bus made another stop to pick up more passengers. After this second stop, the bus was almost completely full. In fact, I noticed only one empty seat...fortunately the one next to me so I was able to spread myself out and sit comfortably.
They played a movie on the way back, some movie with Michael Douglas about World War II and spies, but it was dubbed in Spanish so I didn't understand most of it. For the most part I just tried to sleep. The ride was smooth and we pulled into the TJ station nearly two hours later.
Most experiences I've read and heard about Ensenada from TJ vets have been more positive than my own. Usually they are something along the lines of, "It's not as good as TJ, but it's fun and a nice change of pace." My description would be more like, "If you are burning out on TJ, visit the more expensive Ensenada with older and less attractive talent to renew your apprecation of TJ."
Despite my harsh assessment, I'm sure I'll be back. It certainly won't be a place I'll visit regularly, but I want to give it another shot and tend to like a varied scene regardless, even if it's as not as good as what I'm accustomed to. Now that I know what to expect, maybe my next visit will be better. And after reading this report and lowering your expectations, maybe you will have a better time than I did, too.
Have fun in Ensenada!
