Prologue

Although I have been to LOS 3 times before it has always been with one Western girlfriend or another which, needless to say, has limited my ability to partake in the hobby. In fact my only exposure in LOS to date has been a disappointing soapy in Phuket. This time though things would be different – no bird in tow and whilst I would not be completely free, I would have 1 day in Hua Hin and 2 nights/3 days in the Holy Land (no offence intended to followers of any religion) where I could indulge my passion.

By way of background I am early 30s, professional, 6’1”, 200lbs, reasonable looking and a sarcastic bastard. I can’t speak Thai but I treat the girls with the utmost respect, I dress well and apparently smell nice (what is all that sniffing about??!!). I currently live in Oz although if anyone knows of anyone looking for an MBA graduate in Thailand, PLEASE let me know!

I had done my research on CH and would like to thank all who contribute for their advice and reports, particularly Khun Mor, Blazers, Wallstreet, Epi and Porker. This report is intended to relay my feelings, observations and comments and is written with acknowledgement to the fact that we are all different in tastes and chosen poisons.

I apologise in advance for the general lack of quality in my diction but I hope whoever bothers reading gains at least a little enjoyment. Finally, my sincere apologies for the lack of photos, my intention was to snap away merrily however my digital camera shit itself 3 days I before I left! Next time, I promise.

Arrival

I had to spend a couple of days in Hua Hin as soon as I arrived in LOS, but my plan was to get outta there asap and head up to BKK for some fun.

Airport was not too painful and got a black and yellow metered taxi to the Southern Bus Terminal to catch a bus down to Hua Hin. Taxi was 150Bht and bus to Hua Hin 140Bht. I thought my luck was in at the bus station when I had some seriously solicitous eye contact, alas the object of my desire was heading in another direction wiggling her fine derriere as she went.

Journey to Hua Hin was OK until we were about 10mins past Phetchburi and the engine decided to completely give way with an almighty bang! What is it with buses in LOS but I have made 3 medium/long bus journeys in LOS in my life and EVERY time something happens! Luckily the buses leave BKK every ˝ hour so the driver called the next one and they picked us up from the side of the road……only about 40% of my farang skin had been eaten by mozzies by the time it arrived!

Checked into the Dusit Resort at about 2300, chatted up a couple of very cute waitresses in the bar (they were very polite but clearly under orders not to fraternize with the guests – either that or they simply thought I was a stupid, fat, farang). Headed to bed and resolved not to enter into any arguments or violence with the (far too) numerous German guests staying at this place…..no offence Fritz.

Hua Hin

Unfortunately, our hobby was not possible for most of my 4 night stay in Hua Hin although I was able to sample the delights on my last night there. I had recc’d the place one day and found that there was a scene (this is LOS after all) but it was effectively one Soi about 300m long, opposite the Hilton with beer bars but no gogos. Call me a tourist but the idea of Thai girls in long boots gyrating round poles still fries my burger.

I digress; I arrived in town about 2200 and is my method I made a quick pass down the entire street before deciding where to dock. Aside from the usual ‘Welcome’ cries I was only physically accosted by 2 or 3 BGs so my initial impression was that the scene would be quite laid back. Overall, the talent was rather ordinary with mostly 6-7s with a fair few 3-4s chucked in (probably for the Germans….sorry).

I made my decision and went into a bar called Toro which is near the Hilton end of the street. I sat at the bar and was soon joined by a girl by the name of Ammarin. She was just how I like them and basically the reason I went into this bar. Quite tall for a TG but no adams apple, little hands and small but pert tits so she passed the 1st and most important test. She is from Korat and is 19, lovely long hair, gorgeous smile and simply must be introduced to my best friend. I was a little disappointed with the standard ‘where u come from?’ ‘where u stay?’ shit but we were soon drinking, playing pool and having a good laugh at her trying to put me off by wiggling her little ass and shaking her tits about. Also found out that my hotel was very unfriendly to guests which was a not a big surprise as I’d read the Dusit Thani was the same. Ammarin asked her more experienced friend and we found that there is a hotel next to 7/11 further down the street with rooms for LT for 600Bht. Seeing as I was paying 4k at the Dusit this was fine by me. I paid the bill including 300Bht BF and off we went. Don’t know the name of the hotel as this detail was unimportant at the time but the room was nice and clean, had a quick shower and we headed off to the disco at the Hilton for a few drinks and for Ammarin to dance around teasing me.

This disco at the Hilton was a surreal experience; they had a live band and waitresses walking around dressed like druids. I had a few beers and Ammarin was drinking some sweet red stuff which she said was 5% alcohol, we also had a couple of tequila shots each and then headed back for my 1st session of the holiday.

Ammarin was a bit drunk but nothing too bad and we’d had a great time so I figured I might be in for some decent GFE. I was not disappointed and to top it all off she had the best looking pussy I’ve seen in a long while, it was not shaved but hardly any hair at all. Loads of foreplay and DFK with her sucking on my tongue and generally being rampant. We banged away for about an hour in the usual positions but I was unable to blow my load and we both collapsed at about 3AM. I woke up about 5 and she’s lying there with her legs wide open and her hand on that smooth little pussy. Off we go for round 2 with a nice, but not brilliant BBBJ and some DATY which took a while but made her cum - that pussy was awesome! This time I came while doing her doggy and gently pulling her long hair. Collapsed again and had one more go at about 0900 with her doing me with a very aggressive cowgirl (I’ve still got the bruises on my pubic bone). I told her I would be back that night to fuck her again and I gave her 1500Bht. She gave me her mobile number and made me promise that I would call if I could not come. I left, went back to the Dusit and arranged for a transfer up to BKK for that afternoon…….my adventure was about to begin!!

Bangkok - Days 1 & 2

The Dusit have a daily transfer between BKK-Hua Hin and return in a luxury minibus for 500Bht so I booked on that and left at 1400 for the 3 hour trip. Great option as it turned out because I was the only person on the thing so I was able to catch up on a bit of the sleep I missed while being entertained by Ammarin.

The bus dropped me off at the Dusit Thani at about 1645 and there was no way I would be staying in a non guest friendly place in BKK so I grabbed a taxi and said ‘take me to the Omni’….he had no idea what I was talking but stating simply ‘Soi 4, Sukhumvit’ brought a smile to his face and off we went.

As we turned left into Soi4 I felt a real sense of anticipation and everything was much as I expected as we made our way down the Soi. The girls and mongerers all hanging out at the bars either side and across the road from NEP, the hustle, the bustle…surely I hadn’t died and gone to heaven! We found the Omni about ˝ km down the road although I was expecting it to be much further. I checked into a studio apartment on the 14th floor. My first impression was that the room was not up to much and could do with a facelift, however I didn’t let this get me down for long and I was soon showered, changed and heading out. My plan was to change some money, generally get my bearings and then head off to Soi Cowboy for my intro. Changed money in Soi 5 behind some moaning Arab bloke, didn’t he know he was in paradise! Then jumped on the BTS for the one stop to Asoke. I came out of the station and there it was all lit up like the holy grail - ‘The Cowboy’.

I did my usual walk through and decided I would stop at Rawhide first. It was early (probably about 1930) and I was the only customer, 6 girls dancing with only one who was remotely interesting and they all looked bored stiff. Not a good start. After about 2 minutes a vision appeared out of nowhere, she was absolutely stunning and I had to do a double take. I was certainly not going to fall into the trap of grabbing the 1st thing you come across so I played it cool, bought her a drink and chatted to her for a few minutes. It was soon her turn to dance and she put on quite a show looking at me the whole time but I still wasn’t convinced because she didn’t seem to have the right attitude. I had another beer and as her turn came to an end some old bloke came in the bar and called her. I told her that it was fine by me if she went over to him as I was moving on. Paid the bill and moved on up to the other of Cowboy end and went into Baccara.

I liked the look of Baccara as it has nice décor, not to mention the glass floor, and lots of girls. There must have been 30-40 girls even at this time. Unfortunately, a girl latched onto me straightaway and I had difficulty extricating myself from her clutches. She was really not my type as she was a bit older, probably 28 with big tits and was generally quite heavy. I am a softie sometimes though and she was teaching me some Thai and asking me to feel her tits so I bought her a drink. After a while I said that I was going upstairs as not much downstairs was appealing to me. Off I went and then she follows me! Anyway, they’ve got what looks like a private lap dancing room in front of the stage upstairs so I asked what the deal was and was told 200bht to rent the room. I guessed the rest is up to negotiation but I wasn’t about to get into it with the Liz Taylor lookalike who was currently cramping my style.

Anyway, as I sat down in one of the first seats as you get up the stairs, my jaw dropped open and I thought someone would staple my tongue to the floor – there was my perfect little TG dancing around in a white shirt and pleated skirt. She was small with short hair with some reddish streaks and she was a livewire. Jumping around flashing her snatch and generally being incredibly sexy – I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I’m not sure if these girls change numbers so this info may be useless but she was #20. She unbuttoned her shirt save for one button which was just enough for her perfect, pert little tits to be seen jigging up and down. By this time the other girl was dancing downstairs and I could see her staring up at me and every time I made (very fleeting) eye contact with her she was smiling like something out of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. The object of my desire had already been bought a drink by some other lucky bastard so I decided to bide my time. The hefty horror then appeared again and started bitching about me wanting another girl – well I’m sorry but I didn’t ask for her company in the 1st place so after her showing me her pussy and asking me to take her in the room and fuck her I paid the bill, departed and promised myself to go back there and shag the ass off the livewire before I left Bangkok.

By this time I’d had a few beers and was feeling seriously up tight and in need of some relief. I knew this was a bad situation as it in all likelihood would end up with me fucking the 1st girl/woman/thing to approach me. So it cam to pass!! I was walking back along Cowboy aimlessly and trying to decide which bar to enter when 2 girls stopped me in my tracks and persuaded me that theirs was the bar for me – the Toy Bar. I couldn’t remember reading about this place but I walked through the door and was immediately set upon by 5,6,7 girls. I got my head together and realized that every bloke in the place was having his cock tugged or was playing tonsil tennis. One of the girls was particularly persuasive (probably had something to do with her undoing the buttons on my trousers), so I dismissed the rest and just kept her. She took me down to the end of the bar and proceeded to toss me off with real expertise. I’m not normally one for a quick hand-job but she was very good. She got me off in about 5 minutes flat, I gave her 500Bht, dunno if this was too much, not enough or what and stepped outside into a parallel universe.

I think I went into another couple of gogos in Cowboy but I can’t tell you which ones – more of the same type of quality though with many ordinary 6-7s and a couple of 8-9s. After another couple of beers I decided that I had enough courage to head down to NEP.

I arrived at NEP and went straight upstairs. My plan was to go into Angel Witch but for some reason I ended up in Carnival. This place was big but with only a few punters on a Wednesday night and about 8 girls dancing and the same amount sitting around. I decided that I liked one of the waitresses who was wearing a number (#123) so I figured that she would be available. She was not the best looking girl in the world but was a real spinner so I made eye contact with her a couple of times and started to realize that she was very shy which could be a good thing or could be bad! Had a couple of drinks and then her friend who had been dancing joined her. We made some gestures across the room and soon both the girls had joined me and I bought them both a drink. They were Ann (#132 – waitress) and Nan (#79 – dancer). Ann was 21 about 5’1” and 90lbs and Nan was 19, quite tall, very attractive with shoulder length hair, great smile, slim with nice smallish tits. She also had a well sized ass and was crazy.

Mamasan (Bam) introduced herself and we all sat around drinking and chewing the fat. Bam asked me if I would like to BF two girls and although it hadn’t occurred to me at this point I liked the sound of it. I held off for a while as I wanted Nan to convince me with some dancing, she wasn’t the best dancer in the world but that smile and those long legs did it for me. When I agreed she literally jumped for joy….oh, these Thai girls! I BF’d them both for 600Bht each (which I thought was expensive but OK) and we off toddled down Soi 4 toward the Omni. Ann was quite shy and obviously not very experienced even though she was older than Nan. It turns out that these girls share an apartment and are both from Chang Mai, Nan is a real livewire jumping around, tickling and generally acting ding-dong whilst Ann is much quieter more reserved.

I put on some music and jumped in the shower to be quickly joined by Nan. Once we had finished Ann got showered and we got down to some action. Lots of DFK which I love and plenty of fingering by me and playing by them. No lesbo action but I did not really expect this and was happy enough with all the kissing and cuddling. I’m afraid I can’t remember too much of the immediate details but there was some BBBJ from both while the other DFK’d me, then I fucked them both in a couple of positions but I suffered from the same problem as in Hua Hin and couldn’t cum after about 2 hours of frantic action. This seemed to disappoint them a little but we all fell asleep with me in the middle and my two lovely Thai friends with their heads on my chest.

We can’t have been asleep for more than an hour when Nan started playing with my ears and made it clear she was up for some action. Ann got up and left Nan and I to it for about ˝ hour and we went at it energetically with me finishing in mish position after some enthusiastic cowgirl and me hanging her off the bed I blew my load and we cuddled up again. I got up an hour or so later and had a shower then returned to bed and decided that it was about time little Ann received a portion. This girl was very, very tight. I am no Dirk Diggler, just a regular guy, but it as a struggle to even get in. Nan was giving her what seemed like some instructions and then started DFK with me while Ann slowly worked up and down on me. As I said before Ann was inexperienced which was thrilling in a way but it wasn’t really doing the job so I flipped her over and did her from behind.

Another couple of hours sleep was followed by a disappointing BJ from Nan which was far too violent for my liking so we left it at that. We got up and sat around chatting and planning my sightseeing for the day and at about 1000 I gave them 2000Bht each and sent them on their merry way. With hindsight I almost wish I had spent the day with Nan and got to know her a bit better because I reckon she is a top girl and if I end spending a period of time in Bkk I would try and hook up with her – great chick. I promised that I would come by and see them at Carnival that night.

My 2nd day in BKK was a complete wash out in terms of mongering I’m afraid. I did some sightseeing during the day and was absolutely knackered by the evening so I popped into Carnival to say hi to Ann, Nan and Bam the Mamasan. I declined all offers of company for the night but bought them all a few drinks to be polite. Unfortunately this was the last I saw of the lovely Nan but if anyone is in Carnival in the near future please say hi to them from Michael from Oz. I hope to see them soon.

I went to another couple of the bars in Nana, Hollwood strip had a lame shower show but I really can’t remember the others – usual story of many uninterested dancers mainly 6-7s with a couple of 8s but my old fella was simply not up to it…terrible admission to make I know but I would make up for it on my last day in LOS…..

Bangkok Day 3

My flight was leaving at 2330 so it was important to cram as much mongering as possible into this day, particularly given my poor showing the night before. I wanted to go to Phantip but first off I wanted to find the famous Lólita's. Lólita's is real close to the Omni and I found it easy by turning down the little Soi with few bars about ˝ way up Soi 4, went past the building sites, through the Crown Hotel (I think) and there it was. It was about 1130 and there were 5 or 6 girls outside. I walked straight in and there 3 guys inside including the owner and 1 of his mates. They were getting the girls to try on some new niforms which were the tartan pleated minis which a lot of the waitresses around NEP and Cowboy wear. It was quite funny listening to the Aussie owner though….nice life he must have! An OK looking girl (can’t remember her name) came over and explained that this was ‘BJ Bar’ and she would like me to come upstairs with her. I played it cool for a while (about 2 minutes) and then gave in to her charms. We went into one of the booths and she gave me an incredible BBBJTC with lots of ball and shaft licking and fantastic tongue work. I took her top off and was contemplating fucking her but she really was very good at her chosen art so I decided to let milk me dry. She cleaned me up, I paid 600Bht to the bar and gave her 400 and went on my way into the midday sunshine…….Good Morning Bangkok!

I then headed over to Phantip Plaza to buy some ‘sexy DVD’. That place is unbelievable and after ignoring about 2000 kids offering me ‘sexy DVD’, I found a place behind the food court on Level II which had a series of catalogues on display. All of these catalogues were VCDs and mostly Jap stuff. Given that faux-rape and pigtails is not really my thing, the Jap stuff doesn’t normally do it for me so I asked the bloke for some Thai stuff. He gave 3 catalogues crammed full for my perusal! The VCDs were 100Bht but as I wanted DVDs I thought they were obviously harder to come by so I would hang around for a few minutes until I could get to talk to who looked like the top boy. This I did and once I spoke with the man he told me to hang around for a couple of minutes and he would sort it out. After about 5 mins someone shouted something, which must have been ‘POLICE’ and there was frenzy of activity with all the guys clearing everything off the tables and shoving them in drawers behind the stalls. It was a hilarious scene and all a bit unnecessary other than to secure some coppers bribes I suppose. I waited around for about another 20 mins waiting for things to return to normal so that I could buy my porn but it went to shit so I left and headed over to Siam Centre to do some normal shopping.

Went back to Omni and rested up before my last evening session which I had decided would include a visit to Cowboy in the hope of arranging a ST with the livewire spinner from upstairs at Baccara, maybe a ST with Nan from Carnival and maybe another quick BJ at Lólita's.

I had to leave downtown by 2100 so time was short when I headed out from Omni at 1800 and went to Cowboy. A quick walk through made it obvious that most of the bars were closed including Baccara, so I decided to kill some time by having a drink at one of the bars in Asoke Plaza on the corner of Sukhumvit and Soi 23. A few girls were beckoning me as I went past but I walked through into the centre of the small complex where an Isaan spinner named Kwan at the Friendship Bar caught my eye. Kwan was 24, 5’2”, 100lbs, fantastic B cup tits which looked more like C cups on her frame and long hair. She also had a gorgeous smile which I have noticed is a trait of these Thai girls which I hadn’t expected. I had a couple of drinks with her and she was a real fun personality and I got the impression would be an awesome fuck. I paid the 400Bht BF and we headed off to a ST hotel on the corner of Soi Cowboy which was 300Bht for 2 hours. We hit the shower together and Kwan washed me sensually and we fooled around playing hide the soap! When we got out of the shower and dried off she literally attacked me with passionate DFK and BBBJ. The BJ wasn’t the best ever but I wasn’t too bothered because she had a beautiful looking pussy which needed some licking and those tits were just asking to be fucked. All of this I did and then came with her on top and my tongue in her mouth…..lovely! I had a quick shower, gave Kwan 1500Bht (we had agreed on 1000Bht but she deserved a bit more for her performance). Incidentally, I have read some posters moaning about mongers overpaying and spoiling it for others which I think can be valid but I also believe that if we reward these girls for top service then surely our karma will positively affected (well I have been in a Buddhist country for a while) and we are likely to get better service from others.

Time was now too short for visit to Baccara so unfortunately #20 slipped through my net. Hopefully someone else can have a go and relay the vital information. In a way I hope she is a starfish! I decided that the only thing I had time for was a quick BJ at Lólita's so I jumped the BTS back to Nana and strolled down Soi 6 and through the Hotel to paradise. There were more girls in the evening and I grabbed a sweetie named Aew immediately outside. We went straight upstairs with very little pre amble which I felt a bit guilty about but really didn’t have much time. Aew was suuuperb with lovely full tits and whilst she would probably only be a 6 in looks in a gogo she had the best oral technique I have every experienced. Lots of slurping, licking and deep throating, some of the time with me standing and thrusting my cock in her mouth, some of the time with me sitting and her kneeling which I think is their normal position. I came like a Trojan and she milked me dry and then cleaned me up. I paid the bar 600Bht and gave Aew 500Bht and then left feeling very pleased with life.

I decided against popping into Carnival to say goodbye to Nan and Ann and Bam as I thought I might never leave! Walked (no, floated back to Omni), grabbed a taxi and headed past NEP to the airport.

Great trip, can’t wait for next time………….

Summary and Questions

Basically everything is an adventure and I have learnt many things from this trip which I hope I will be able to put to good use soon – I’ve just got to find another excuse to visit LOS!

I had an awesome time and I am currently feeling bitten by the bug and am looking for some ways to make Thailand my home for a while.

Personally, I would say that Cowboy is preferable to NEP. Cowboy didn’t have as much quantity but still had genuine quality and the vibe just seemed more pleasant, less intimidatory. That said, I had a wonderful time with two girls from Carnival in NEP and found the mamasan to be good fun and helpful (even if she was simply relieving me of my cash). Baccara in Cowboy had the sexiest woman on the planet (#20) dancing upstairs and my single regret from this trip is that I didn’t get to chuck her about. I lie – my other regret is that I didn’t get to Eden.

Omni Tower is great, anyone who can’t walk 5 minutes up Soi 4 deserves to stay at the Nana and endure everything that comes with that. The Omni were very helpful and I would recommend the place for mongerers. The room was OK, nothing special but my only complaint would be the low water pressure – no big deal.

I have been wondering about a few things and if anyone would care to enlighten me on the following points I would be grateful:

1) Why do Thai Girls sniff you? Is it simply to see if you smell or is there some deeper purpose?
2) How often does the average BG get taken for the night? Obviously the stunners will go most nights and the old hags not that often but your run of the mill 6-7? I know this is a ‘how long is a piece of string’ question but would appreciate your thoughts.
3) Why do you pay the BF direct to mamas an and not with the bar bill?
4) What is the best way for me to go about looking for employment in Bkk as an expat? I know I could probably get a job as a teacher but that is hardly going to fund much of a lifestyle. I have an MBA from a good university and a background in marketing. Advice, contacts, job offers would be gratefully received! CV available on request!

1. Hmmm I never recalling them sniffing at me... you sure you had your deodorant on?

2. you answered it already

3. prob so they can divy it up?

4. Pray a lot and keep looking at MNC emoployeement webites. Stand in line with every other monger.




-DM

The sniffing is called a Thai kiss or sniff kiss.

It's a Thailand thing.

1. Thais are very sensitive to, and keen on, smell. Doctor Mor can extrapolate on this, but in many cases, smell makes or breaks a decision on whether they are interested in a guy or not.
2. Depends on the bar, the time of year, and their desirability. In the low season, even the hotties may go for days without a fine. In the high season, they may get "checked out" for days or even weeks on end. Just based on my conversations with girls, and what I've heard from others, I'd say your average BG, not a hag and not a hottie, will get fined 5-9 times a month, on the higher end for Rainbow girls, on the lower end for the lesser trafficked places.
3. In many places you can and do pay the BF with the bar bill, or give it to the girl who pays, in addition to giving it directly to the mamasan. There's no set rule. I usually give it to the girl who walks it up on her way to change.
4. Stand in line!

Chances of getting a "legal" job in Thailand are very slim. there is a list of unacceptable jobs for Farangs used by the govt. You just plain wont get one for restaurant or bars and if you are talking about pattaya, real estate is now on the list. YOu can own a company and be the manager of it though. Generally speaking you will have to grease some palms to get a work permit. If you get caught working without a permit, you can get deported and blacklisted but more likely you will just pay some graft and fines. If you have some kind of specialty AND are fluent in Thai there is a chance you can get a job. I know a guy who got a cooking degree in sausage making and the degree was enough to get a work permit.

biggest problem you would have is showing up for work on time and not getting fired. Too much temptation in Thailand.

The one thing I have always read about working in Thailand is there is a qualified Thai that can easily do the job you want to do and they can pay him 1/10 of what they would have to pay you to do it.

I heard the best chance of getting a job there is catching on with an MNC, which it what DM recommended. It also sounds like he may get his long desired transfer there as well. Bastard!

The sniffing in Thai called = Horm.It is a Thai thing.It is somebody that adore you.