Part II. Pattaya.

The last time I was in Pattaya was last April, during Sonkran. While it was a blast, it was also quite hectic and crowded. This time was the polar opposite. Judging by the couple of huge thunder and lightning storms we witnessed, it was definitely the rainy season (aka “low season”). Originally, we were planning on staying a couple of days at the Hard Rock before moving to our usual digs at the Sandy Spring. The Hard Rock rates weren’t HORRIBLE, just expensive. For about 2400B (including all taxes) you could get their least expensive room. They have perhaps the nicest pool in Pattaya. The problem was that they now purportedly charged a joiner fee of at least 900B (more if you had a more expensive room). I’m not sure if they actually enforce that joiner charge, but I didn’t want to take that chance, so we went straight to the Sandy Spring. By paying for a “membership” of 350B for a year, you can get their Deluxe room for 1200B (a savings of 300B a nite) or their suite for 1990 (a savings of 510B/nite). Way cheaper than the Hard Rock, and way more convenient too. The only drawback is that there is some construction across the street (Soi 13), so there is some noise in the mornings and afternoons. I would think that if you got a room facing the back, you probably wouldn’t hear the noise. All in all, the SS is my favorite place to stay in Pattaya.

For fans of REAL deep tissue massages (as opposed to Thai Traditional Massages, which are merely okay for me), the Hard Rock has a very nice spa. Their published price of 1500B for 90 minutes is very reasonable relative to the rest of the world. However, we later found out that the 1500B was BEFORE the service tax, VAT and excise tax that made the price almost 2000B. Still cheap by international standards, but when compared to the 200B 60 minute head and shoulder massage across the street from the Sandy Spring, I never went back to the Hard Rock spa.

Soapy Hell

Call me nothing if not dogged. On my second day in Pattaya, decided to get a soapy and break my string of mediocre sessions. It was only about 4pm, when we did a tour of the three big soapies next to Big C. Since it was still early, the selection wasn’t too vast. Nevertheless, against my better judgment, I chose number 169 at Sabai Dee. My worst soapy EVER. In fact, it qualifies as a REALLY bad Rio Tourist Fuck (SA hands will understand). First, she smoked like a fiend, and never asked if I minded. Then, she proceeded to give me a very quick bath and a 3 minute slip and slide on the mattress. Usually, most soapy girls take their time during the bath and slip and slide. Not my girl. Couldn’t wait to get to bed. Sounds promising, right? WRONG!!! Her nipples were too sensitive to touch, wouldn’t get on top, and then, just as I was cumming, she jumps up and complains that her stomach was hurting. At this point, I was doing nothing that would hurt her. I was in my “just get it done and finished-mode.” Ugh!!! Okay, at least maybe I could salvage the session by getting a massage afterwards. Nope, we were out of time according to her, even though we weren’t in the room for more than 50 minutes.

Ironically, she had asked early on whether I would tip her if the session was good. I said, of course, but also implied that there would be no tip if the session sucked. Even though the session qualified as a hall of fame lame session, I offered her a 100B tip (partly just to see her reaction, since I don’t think she realized that I was a very unhappy man at this point). Sure enough, she asks for 200B. Disgusted, I muttered something like “you’ve got to be kidding” and just stormed out. On the way out, one of the papasans asked me how it went. I told him that it was VERY BAD. He said that next time, he help me choose. I told him that there probably wouldn’t be a next time. My mood was so bad that as I walk down Soi 6 towards Beach Road to get a baht bus, almost none of the girls standing outside their bars propositioned me. I must have had a tremendous scowl on my face. I was soured enough by the soapy to not go to another one during the rest of my 9 day stay in Pattaya.

Tahitian Queen2 and Classroom

Since I had now forsworn from soapies, I needed some new diversion during the day. Most of the gogos don’t open until 7 or 8 pm. Except for TQ2 on Beach Rd, near soi 13, and Classroom on, I think, Soi Pattayaland 2. TQ2 has great music, good ol’ rock and roll. Unfortunately, I didn’t see much talent there and didn’t stay long. I found Classroom to be better. They open around 2 or 3 pm, and the talent was pretty good. If you go there in the middle of the afternoon, you might find yourself among only a handful of other customers. Easy to pick and chose among whatever might catch your eye. Also, they have a pool table upstairs if you get bored, or if you find someone you want to spend time with. I short timed a cute dancer there and almost barfined one of the hostesses another time. In fact I found the hostesses (not dancers and not the mamasans) to be quite attractive there. Definitely a good daytime option.

Walking Street Go Gos

Okay, I admit it. I just cant get into the beer bar scene. I’m always looking for stunners and it’s tough sometimes sifting through all the beer bars and beer bar girls to find the super hottie. Add to that the discomfort of sitting in a beer bar when it’s almost always hot and humid in Pattaya, and you can probably see why I’m a gogo addict. I KNOW many of the beer bar girls are usually less jaded and hardened than the gogo girls. I KNOW that you can probably get that long time GFE from a beer bar girl more easily. I can’t help it. I like going to a gogo and surveying the field, checking the talent and making sure there are no surprises (bikinis and/or nudity has its advantages). Well, almost no surprises. Barfining ANY BG is always fraught with chance and peril.

Living Dolls

There are two Living Dolls, the regular one on Walking St. directly across from Happy, and the Showcase, which is located further south on Walking St. The regular LD doesn’t have shows, just a lot of pretty good looking dancing girls and not a lot of customers. The Showcase continues to be my favorite place in Pattaya. Great shows, pretty dancing girls and HOT showgirls. Sometimes the showgirls will agree to be barfined, and sometimes not, but they’re all stunners w/ awesome bodies. The regular barfine is 600B, but the barfine for the showgirls is 1000B (until 1am, when it comes down to 600B). The shows start at around 10pm, and that’s when the crowd usually starts showing up.

Peppermint Palace

Purportedly the biggest gogo in Pattaya, it definitely has the sheer numbers. There always seems to be a good 20 girls on display at any one time. Very attractive girls too. It’s usually pretty crowded, and I’ve seen times when they’ve refused entry to people because the house was full. Didn’t barfine anybody from there this trip, but was sorely tempted.

Happy

Owned by the same people as Peppermint. A lot of hot girls, but is very crowded until around 9:30, when their happy hour ends. My buddy and I barfined a couple of STs there. My buddy’s choice was quite cute. However, after she changed clothes and came back out, she had Tammy Baker amounts of makeup on. I mean it had to have been put own with a trowel. The next day, my buddy told me that her pillowcase was a mess. To see a bunch of hot chicks scurrying around, buy a bunch of pingpong balls (at 20B each) and toss them on stage. The girls collect the balls and can turn them in for 20B each.

Polo

A big gogo up a set of escalators on Walking St. Very popular with the asian tour groups. Stopped by just to check out the scene. Can’t say I saw much of the show. The vibe in there was so bad, we left after about 10 minutes. Gets really crowded, though, because of the busloads of tourists. I can’t believe many of the girls get barfined. Doesn’t seem like that kind of place.

Big Willies

Upstairs, next to the Roof Bar. Virtually empty. A few pretty girls looking very bored.

Super Baby and Super Girl

According to my barfine from Super Baby, the hotter girls work there instead of Super Girl. Both are definitely barfine joints. The waitresses constantly point on stage and ask you whether you’re interested in any girls. While the girl I barfined was open to LT or ST, I hear that most of the hot girls focus on multiple STs a nite. They ask for 1500ST/2500LT.

Carousel

One of my new favorite places. They have a lot of hot girls that dance on a stage that rotates (like a carousel). This means that you can always see all the girls on stage. They also have nice shows (similar to the Showcase ones) and good looking showgirls. Also, maybe the best looking waitresses at any of the gogos (all wearing cheerleading outfits). In hindsight, should have barfined one of the cheerleaders instead of the very buxom and pretty showgirl. Just as we start having sex, she starts wincing. Empathetic soul that I am, I ask her what’s the matter. She tells me that her pussy has been hurting her for a few days now and is planning on seeing the doctor tomorrow. Well, fuck me!!! Now she tells me. Needless to say, I didn’t barfine her again. Too bad. Best set rack I had seen this trip. Only two downsides to the Carousel: the ladydrink pressure is kind of high, and the DJ keeps saying unintelligible stuff in an awfully high voice. Still, a cool place to hang out at.

"Except for TQ2 on Beach Rd"

Actually, that's the original TQ. TQ2 is located off of Walking Street.

I know what you mean about the soapies down in Pattaya. Never been too into soapin' it down by the beach. Lame, bitchy gals. Not my idea of a good time.

If you like Thai massage, there's a place on Soi 3 just south of Sabai Dee soapy massage that's good and priced right!! Last time I was there I got two hours of Thai massage for 240B. Most of the therapists there know their shit. You'll not get any "hanky panky" there... well... never say never...

Good report. I'll be there in another week or two and I'll let you know how things are progressing.

E