This is more a trip diary than a report, so it may only be of interest to a few traveler types. The mongering report (complete with photos) will come after I return. I’ll update this whenever something interesting (usually bad) happens.

Flash back to the autumn of 2002. I discover www.skyauction.com. I bid on a few cheap flights and lose. Just before going away for the weekend, I put in two bids, one to Rio, one to South East Asia. I return home after the weekend and discover I’ve won both auctions! I have one year to complete my trips (but not during the summer).

Trouble begins when I carefully examine all the rules and regulations around skyauction bids. My cheap flight is rather expensive once I’ve calculated in the additional charges and a connecting flight. Lesson learned, this ain’t a cheap way to travel.

Flash forward to January of 2003. I visit South America for the first time and have a fuckin’ blast (see Wombat's First Adventure in Rio).

Flash forward again to the fall of 2003. I contact skyauction to arrange my trip to South East Asia. “No way,” they say, “you missed the deadline.” I’m pretty careful about recording dates like these, particularly when several hundred bucks are on the line. I note that the vacation I won is no longer on their site (although the details for my first trip is still there). After much squabbling, they agree to give me 80% credit to a future auction, but I have one year to use it. Skyauction rarely offers flights out of the Great White North, so, after a year of trying, I manage a (not at all cheap) flight to Rio. I have to use it by the end of March.

I help Bwana Dik format his Rio guide in HTML. It’s good therapy and I learn a thing or two.

In November, I land a four-month contract; the project goes belly up six weeks later and I’m left with a bit too much time on my hands. I try to find a flight to Rio, but skyauction leaves me two choices, leave on Monday, or wait a few more weeks. Sitting on my butt in the cold, I’m eager to leave with only two days notice, but I have a commitment already. I learn that I can take a cheap flight on my own for only a bit more than the cost of my skyauction ticket. I’m seriously peeved because now this thing has become an albatross around my neck.

I believe that the weeks leading up to carnival are probably the most fun time to be in Rio. With practice parades and excitement in the air, I expect it has the same sort of energy that the week before Christmas once had before the malls started hauling out the decorations and playing caroling music mid November.

Some halfhearted attempts of unloading the ticket fail. A few days later, I make the commitment and book the ticket. I arrive in Rio February 8 for a 3-week stay.

Wombat... Sounds like if you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any... At least you can console yourself with the fact that you'll be in Shangri-la for a few weeks. I hope your expectations of Rio are correct. If they are, you'll have a great time.

(Message edited by rickm0755 on February 01, 2005)

I tell ya, Rick, my luck seems to wildly fluctuate. It scares the crap out of me some times.

Well, with my Rio ticket booked, the next task was getting a flight from Canada to New Jersey. It’s a short flight, so when I started checking the usual places, I was getting quotes of 300 to 400 CAD. Air Canada came through with a 200CAD flight … Whoo-hoo! Huh? As I make the final purchase, I notice the extra charges. There’s the usual taxes, but the itemized list was a bit excessive. There was Navcan and Surcharges, Canada Airport Improvement Fee, Canada Security Charge, US Passenger Facility Charge, September 11 Security Fee, US Immigration User Fee and US Transportation Tax.

The extra fees on the ticket amount to 50%! Sheesh!

I’ve been listening to a Pimsleur audio program in a futile attempt at learning a bit of Portuguese before I leave. I love this program, but I’m simply not wired for language. I swear that ten minutes after learning a word, I forget it again (and that’s after repeating it at least a dozen times). It kills me because my best session on my last trip was an Amazonian babe who knew not a word of English.

I’ve also been trying to get through a travel guide in an attempt to learn more about Rio and places to visit. Yeah, I’m a real tourist too.

Getting a room is also somewhat of a challenge. I can book a place the day after I arrive, but what to do that first night? The plan now formulating in my lizard brain is to stay up all night and party. If worse comes to worse, I check in to a love hotel!

i have known others who have stayed several days at a love motel in similar circumstances. take a good list with you as there are many more than posted here. diamond in gloria has great views and lots cheaper than vips

On my last Rio trip, I had amazing experiences in the Thermas. The damn thing is that I don't have a single photo of the girls. My camera is just too big to sneak in. When we get back to our mundane existence, those photos are the only thing to remind ourselves of the girls we met. Well, hopefully they're the <gulp> only things. I decided to waste some money on a small digicam. I say waste because I can't imagine using this thing outside the thermas (my main camera is pretty good). Normally I spend weeks researching the various models and agonizing over which one to buy. I had the sales droid show me what he had that met my criteria and selected a model that had just gone on sale. I'm pleased to report that it's actually pretty good (Nikon Coolpix 4100).

With 24hrs to go, I'm both relaxed and edgy. The great debate at the moment is how to pack. I used to travel with a big smeggin' duffle bag. I learned on my SEA adventure that a good backpack is the way to go. However, I think I can manage to pack three weeks worth of supplies into a large day pack. That means not having to check in my bag. It also means I'm going to have to be very careful about what I take with me and what I bring back. (My last trip I had two awesome hammocks stuffed in my bag.)

I went to the drugstore today and totally forgot to get condoms. My mind is sooo elsewhere. I'd also intended to pick up a polarizing filter for my camera, but the stores were closed. Looks like another trip downtown before I leave.

Good move, I don't understand why anyone would check a bad unless they have a huge one. Only bad things can happen when you check a bag... at best you break even and get back exactly what you gave them... all other scenarios involve lesser outcomes.

If I have a huge duffle, or skis, or clubs, then of course... but if it's just a matter of convenience and choice, what's the upside of checking it versus the risks?

Spent the day tying up loose ends. Made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Ohhh, but what a long flight. Usually I can get a couple of hours rest, but two women in a seat behind me started jabbering really load at 4AM. After a half hour of this I gave them a dirty look and pointed to my watch. They took their headphones off and I discovered why they were nearly shouting at each other, they had the volume turned up so loud I could clear hear the music eight feet away.

I was in good sprits, though. My flight ended in Sao Paulo, where I had to hang around for an hour before catching another flight to Rio. It gave me plenty of time to watch the Carnival coverage on TV. I was psyched. I was off the plane in Rio and spent only a few minutes waiting in the immigration line. They were giving some poor schmuck a hard time over something. The fool actually admitted he was in Brazil to meet women! I was standing there, everything falling into place nicely, thinking through how I´d take a cab to Copa, decide which Therma to visit, how I´d get to the parade, etc. when my turn came up.

I handed over my papers with the confidence of a seasoned monger.

Say, did you know that when you apply for a five year visa, sometimes they make a mistake and give you a 90 day visa?

The guard escorts me to a room where I explain that it really is a 5 year visa. Oops. It´s not. While a flurry of discussion goes on, I explain to the young woman looking at my passport that I´m going to Parati and Petropolis. She explains this to her superiors ("see, he´s just a regular tourist).

No good. I´m told I will have to go leave and get a new visa. I think about two more all night flights and wonder if I should just make a break for it, spend a couple of days living it up and few more in the clink before being kicked out of the country. It might just be worth it.

A young guy tells me I could go to another country, Chile, Argintina, etc. Hmmmm ... I miss Carnival, but maybe ... My options are limited now as there are only a couple of flights leaving. I settle on BA in hopes that I can reach Godfather. It´ll be an adventure.

Then I´m told how much this adventure will cost, $600 just for the flight! Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap! I´m left with no options. I hand over my card. The guy has to pry it from my fingers.

BA is nice, but I had to spend some time finding a hotel as I arrived in complete disorientation. Now, I have to figure out what to do and where to do it!

Rickm0755 said, presciently, a week ago, "Wombat... Sounds like if you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any."

If your visa was 90 days, from the last trip two years ago, how did you get on the planes to begin with? Didn't they check your visa when you checked in?

Horrible misfortune, I'm sorry to hear about it, and hope you get it worked out OK.

Dude that SUCKS big time.

I think Deeg has a similar experiance a few years ago.

Wombat88,

Go to the Brazillian embassy. Brazilian embassy in Buenos Aires issues a visa to Brazil in 48 hours...

http://www.conbrasil.org.ar/htm/tourist.php

The above website will tell exactly what you need.

Below is the address for the Consulate of Brazil in Buenos Aires. So you can also just go there.

Consulado_Geral do Brasil
Carlos Pellegrini 1363, 5 Piso
C1011AAA - Ciudad de Buenos Aires
Tel: 4515 6500
Fax: 4508 6520

Now come on Wombat, I rooting for you to make it to Brazil. I hope to buy you a beer soon. If your plans don't include Rio at all then good luck the rest of your trip.

Cubanut

The folks at United have told me that if they transport someone to Brasil with an invalid visa, the Brasilian government fines them US $10,000. That's why, at Dulles at least, they check the passports at least twice before letting you on the plane.

Not only was my passport/visa checked, it was checked three times! So, you can imagine how I felt when the guard started tut-tuting. Another guy told me that 3 other tourists (on AA) were also denied entry. I met a French woman (with a toddler) who had been waiting for six hours in limbo. I was glad to have gotten out when I did (oh, but had there only been a flight to Colombia).

This guy also told me that it was $3000 the airlines were charged. Ya know, ya think it would occur to someone in the government to set up a same-day visa system that costs the tourist $500. Hell, I´d have paid that (given what it´s costing me now).

Now, of course, it seems to be getting worse. When the young guy arranged my ticket, he was under the impression I could get the visa the same day. This morning, when I arrived at the consulate too early, the girl at the desk backed up this statement. Drop off the documents at 10AM, pick up your visa at 4PM (atch the flight to Rio the next morning!).

Uh-uh.

When I went upstairs, the official office droids informed me I would pick up my visa the NEXT day at 4PM. That is about an hour after I land in Rio. Uh, boy! If I can´t finangle a change in my ticket, I might just be stuck here until <gulp> Monday.

Last night, wandering around the streets, I let a few touts lead me into their little clubs. I was hardly in the mood for action, but curious to see what would happen. The first club was a little hole in the wall, but attractive. I was the only customer (and this is after midnight). My drink was 10 pesos (about $4). The three girls asked me if I´d buy them a drink. They weren´t exactly good looking, didn´t speak much English, and were smoking up a serious smog index. I finished my drink and departed.

The second club was more promising. There were actually two other guys inside. The babe that greeted me when I walked in looked like she was poured into her white outfit. She had a killer bod with sharp pointy breasts. I was tempted as she claimed to give good massage. I just knew this was a rip-off joint catering to tourists.

The third was the most interesting, but least desirable. No guys, but a dozen girls dressed in sexy gowns. The best looking was about 6/10 and not a one of them could speak English. I had a laugh with them and made my way outside.

I wish I could have reached Godfather, but my contact info is too out of date. I tried reaching a couple of girls from the escorts-argentina site, but couldn´t get through. I´ll see what I can manage this afternoon.

God, I hope I can get my flight arranged. I´m supposed to be baking on the beach.

Man Wombat, that sucks big time. I sure hope you make it. If you get to Rio and are still there when I arrive on the 19th, I'll buy your first round.....Man that sucks.

Wombat...

Man...I feel for you...that would suck big time!

But I am a little curious how you overlooked this....what exactly does your Visa indicate? I assuming it indicates an initial date on Visa and then does it actually further indicate that it will expire in 90 days thereafter?

I want to make sure I'm reading my Visa correctly. Especially...since other tourists are being DENIED entry. I definitely want to make sure my affairs are in order to avoid this hassle.

I do, however, hope you get this worked out! I'll be in Rio from Feb 17 thru Mar 7...and if I see you around...the 2nd round of drinks are on me! Let's help this fellow monger out!

Priew

Thanks boys! Well, I marched across the city in search of the airlne office. The clerk was able to change my travel date to Friday, so I´ll be kissing this place goodbye soon.

Just for fun, I stopped in at the BR consolate to see if I could sweet talke ´em into letting me have my visa today. No luck, so that next day service is the real McCoy.

I don´t have may passport now, but it was a rather confusing stamp. It clearly states that it has to be used within 90 days, that much I remember quite clearly. I also know that 5 years was not indicated anywhere. I´m told the new visa is a whole lot better (some good it did me).

Ya know, I don´t know what the fuss over BA girls is all about. I find the babes here mostly ordinary (and I was doing a serious amount of girl watching during my marches). Miami, NY City and Montreal has far more top shelf honey. What´s interesting is the whole Euro-babe look here. You´d have absolutely no idea where this city is going on the look of the people alone. It´s kinda freaky.

I managed to collect quite a few phone number from the web, but had the worse luck imaginable ... er, no, just back luck ... getting through to any of the girls. The pay phones here, to start off, are techno-mysteries. Add to that the weird number system (i.e. everything outside North America is weird).

Well, with a bit of help from the hotel clerk, I figure out that some numbers are probably cell phones so I have to add the 15 prefix. Duh-oh! I started back through my list, first the 8 digit number then 15+8 if that didn´t work. The first time I got an answer (attempt 20 I recon) the girl hung up when I asked if she spoke English. The secon one I wasted no time and booked an appointment at here place. More on that later, but the long and short of it is that it was a rather mediocre affair. If I don´t find a real babe, I´m gunna be one bummed out wombat.

Man, I can´t wait to hit a terma.

Yeh, Wombat, my Visa says in clear (obscure, light printed, fine lettering which I can barely read) that it is good for up to 90 days per stay, is valid for 5 years from the first date of use, and that the first date of use must be within 90 days of the issue date. That the maximum number of days per year in Brazil cannot exceed 180, and that working in the country in not permitted.

Whew, all that and more in a 1" by 2" area, jeeez.

Wombat,

My recommendation would be to hit a couple of apartments. 1707 Santa Fe and 921 Suipacha get good reviews.

You could also try Caty at 15-5749-4859 if you speak Portuguese (Brazilara) or Anna at 15-5410-6314 (Russian that speaks English). They are both on platynum.com.ar. I use Roxana (roxanawsg@pobox.com) for phone appointments because avoiding the aggravation is well worth the $US10 it costs.

Ahh, now that´s good info. Mind you, I did check out platynum (that´s where the two working numbers came from). Funny you should mention Anna, I actually had her on my long list. I guess I´ll have to give her a call.

Last night was an interesting one. I found a freelancer joint called Etcetera (I think). Some rather hard looking dames in that place. Further on, I let myself be led into a couple more clubs. The first was TOTALLY empty -- not even a single girl. As I turned to leave, a real cutie came in and gave me a smile. Hmmm ... no English though, so I decided to pass.

The second place was much more promising. Two friendly girls with passable English encouraged me to stay. I chatted with them in order to understand how the places works.

One drink is 15ARS? That´s a bit pricy, but acceptable. No, I´m mistaken, it´s actually 30ARS. THAT is not acceptable. They explain that they´ll take me downstairs, do a strip tease, some massage and ... wait for it ... sex! Now, THAT is reasonable. I tell the girls I only have 50ARS, so maybe I'll come back the next night. They start talking about something and the next thing I know I´m being handed a beer (I´ve given up the stuff) and the girls have some dark red coctails. One of the girls practically bolts the stuff back. By now they´re sitting on my lap and we´re having great fun, but I know I should be getting out.

The waiter comes back after a moment. He wants to be paid. Huh? I didn´t order anything. As far as I was concerned, the beer was an incentive to get me to stay. OK, miscommunication, I´ll take the hit to keep the mood. I hand over my fifty. He says something more. The girls say I have to give him more. Huh? I give him two fives from my pocket. I guess I was buying the girls drinks too.

He wants more money. What the fuck? The girls tell me that EVERY drink is 30ARS! I didn´t order a drink! I hand the guy the untouched beer and wave him away. He stands around for a few moments and leaves. When I tell the girls I'm not happy about the cost, they say something about the second drink being free. Hmm ...

The watier comes back a few minutes later, beer in hand, and tells me the drink is free. The girls want to know if I want juice or mineral water or something. Forget it, if wanted overpriced canned orange juice I could go to Disney World and save a few bucks. The waiter comes back with two more drinks for the girls.

By now I've invested 60ARS in the deal, so I tell the girls I want them to take me downstairs and see them do a strip tease. OK, they say. They call over the waiter. He wants to be paid for the two drinks. What the fuck?

I remin the girls about the second drink being free and I've already paid. No, only the customer's second drink is free. Waiter is standing there with his hand out.

Well, that's it for me, I tell them, and start gathering my belongings. You must pay, the girls say. Why? I ask. I didn't get a drink. When they say I must pay for their drinks, I tell them they order them, they pay for them.

I'm mentally taking stock of the room as I'm half expecting the waiter to try to block my path to the door. I figure out what moves it will take to get back on the street. I moved slowly and casually at first, telling the waiter to charge the girls, then take a few quick strides to the curtained door before he knows what's up. I give the doorman a cheery good night and head quickly for the lights of Etcetera, half expecting footsteps behind me.

Whew! A 60ARS lesson in BA rip-offs. Not too expensive, I guess.

Ya know, you have to wonder why it hasn't occured to one of this rip clubs to actually go legit. They'd rather cheat one or two tourists a night than attract a regular paying clientel. Sheesh.

Can things get worse? Maybe, but they sure aren´t getting better. I called up Danna and arranged an appointment at her place. She sounded quite friendly and her photos on the web site showed that she was very slim ... something I wanted after my little chubster from yesterday. With the limited time on the phone, I neglected to ask her rate (not listed on the web site). I had a 100ARS/hr benchmark, so I figured I´d be OK.

Buenos Aires has a few large parks. You´ll often see small herd of dogs being walked by official dog walkers. Argentinians, you would think, love their dogs. I had no idea how much they loved their dogs until I accidently walked into a porn movie shop while waiting for my appointment with Danna.

My goodness they love their dogs here. I´m sure every good hombre here has seen their fair share of videos, but I was surprised at the number of weird sex flicks. They even had one entitled "Menage a trois" one gal, two canines. Sheesh! Then there were the equestrian events like "Thoroughbred" and "Stalion," Yikes! How ´bout "Goat surprise." Zounds, I was surprised at that one!

Well, I soon arrived at the appointed place and time to meet Danna. It was not, as I´d hoped, her place, but some sort of rent-a-brothel run by an ol´ lady. I had to wait a few minutes for Danna (who also goes by the curious name of Floppy) to arrive.

She was good looking, but not beautiful; maybe a 7 or 8 outa 10. She was quite friendly, so I was happy. She asked that I pay in advance. Hmm ... How much? 400ARS for the hour! I didn´t EVEN bother negotiating at that point. I just laughed, stood up and collected my kit. "Too much," I said. "No Senior, you must pay because I come to meet you." "Ugh, ugh," I replied, "you charge too much. Same price in Canada! In Argentina I pay 100 per hour."

She gestures at herself and says I can´t find as nice as her for 100ARS. Sure I can, I think to myself, Friday afternoon at Quatro a Quatro, Rio. I´m tempted to tell her she was probably quite the beauty five years ago, but no point dashing her self esteem.

As I head for the door she insists I pay her something. She claims she canceled another appointment to be with me. Sure sister, you call him back then. I march out the door without a glance backward.

Four hundred clams! For an hour! In South America! Criminy!

The amazing thing about all this is that I´m still in a really good mood. I mean, I´ve been marking time the last two days, pretty much going nuts and I am still managing to keep my sense of humor. I guess the half bottle of wine at lunch helped.

Well, it´s 4:10 PM, time to collect my visa and get ready to kick the dirt of this crummy town off my boots!

Word of advice. When you finally legally enter Brazil have them put your initial entry stamp on the same page as the visa. Believe me, it means a lot for future trips.

Mine is staped on my visa and my usual travel partner's is on the next page amongst 6 or 7 other entry stamps (3 or 4 of them Brazil). I breeze through immigration while he has to have them verify that he actually entered Brazil within the initial 90 days of visa issuance and it usually takes them about 10 minutes to do so.

Yes, I have my visa! I ran into another monger at the consulate. He´s a Chicago guy who got hit with the same visa problem I did. The lucky bugger managed to pick up a girl on the flight here. I told him to drop by Alcazar some afternoon.

OK, so after my adventure with Danna, I decided I needed a bit of peace and tranquility. I took a taxi to the botanical gardens. The first thing I saw was a plethora of pussy. My god, there was pussy everywhere in the place! Real friendly pussy too. I´d have hit pussy heaven had I been a cat. I swear I saw at least two hundred cats in the garden. What´s interesting is that every one of them were friendly ... just walk right up and they start to purr. Weird.

The other thing that the gardens had in plenty were mosquitos. The little bastards were swarming! I killed more mosquitoes in the first few minutes there than I saw in all SEA last year. Peace and tranquility my ass. Do not go to this botanical garden unless you are wearing an environmental suit ... or really love pussies.

On the walk back to downtown, I started getting in the mood again and wondered about the Santa Fe apartments. I glance up at the street sign and I´m about to cross Santa Fe! Well, is that good karma (finally) or what? Then I start looking for 1707. I´m standing directly in front of the place! Ah, man, the planets are aligning.

There are four buttons beside the door. There are no markings. I look inside for some sort of clue. Nothing. I stand around for several minutes hoping some hombre goes in. Nope. My hand strays over the buttons. Maybe I should just push them all and see who answers? With my luck, I'll have found the satalite mission of the Sister of Mercy who will invite me in for tea and try to save my soul. I look in the window again. Nothing. There are no internet shops anywhere in the neighborhood. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.

I keep hoping that all this bad karma is going to swing around in a couple of days and all will be right again. Maybe I´ll meet a fabulous Terma babe who falls so hard for me that she quits the program and goes back to completee her final year at med school so she can be with me all the time.

The real dilema now is, do I make the attempt again tonight, or quit before I´m further behind and just sit in my room?

Wombat, we're rooting for you to have a GREAT time when you hit Rio (at last)....hope you're not too busy when you get there to keep posting.

Excellent news Wombat about finally getting your visa. Drop a post when you make it to town. Just got to Rio myself Thursday and the place is hopping.

Cubanut

Determined to make my last night in BA one to remember, I tried a few more numbers from my research. I actually connected with a few girls (only a few of whom could communicate in English). Unfortunately, their rates were simply w a y y y too high. So, my last night in BA was the night I tried grilled provolone cheeze with herbs. Yummy!

It's weird. The night before I had the most livid dream of my Thailand Smiling Girl. She was just doing everything should could to please me. When I think that the cost of this little side trip was pretty much the same cost of a trip back to Bangkok ... I shudder.

The next day, I was up early and packed my kit. I elected to walk to the bus station as I was pretty sure it was not too far. It wasn't, but I managed to walk the wrong direction, quadrupling the distance and making me miss the bus by about three minutes. My own brain was now working against me.

I managed to get the next bus to the airport and made it through on time. I ran into Oz, the Chicago guy. We talked travel while waiting for our flight.

Going through customs in Rio this time I was a little less self-assured. No problems!

I grabbed a cab and high-tailed it to Copacabana. Alcazar was empty but for one lone hombre puffin' on a cigar. I said hello to Don and collapsed in a chair. A few other fellows wandered by after a bit.

I met up with Hemp and the two of us hit Monte Carlo. Within a few minutes of our arrival, I had the hottest little thing wrapped around one leg and doing her best to make conversation. I don't know what it is, but man, cute girls with braces just look so hot. After a drink, I take her upstairs. Unfortunately, her marketing is much better than the product. While her looks were 8-9/10, her performance was barely a 5/10.

I waited around for Hemp, but I figure he must have called it a night. I decided to celebrate my first night back in Rio by going for seconds with an Italian Carioca. She put on a much better performance and I left a happy man.

I walked back down to Alcazar and tried to get a peek at the talent working around Help. No one I recognized from my previous trip. I hung around Alcazar for a while and called it a night.

Wombat is was great to meet you and hang out. While there were a few in Monte Carlo that got me "Wood" I saved my bullet, hung out a little at Alcazar then went to Solarium and "Fired My Gun". - I'll probably see you around the campus this weekend? I might even go back to Monte Carlo tonight and put a smile on that little blondes face that wanted me (yeah it would be a repeat for Da Hemp - I'm a sucker for beautiful blondes. - Hemp

Wombat! Great to see you made it. I'll but you that round when I get in on Sat. the 26th. Hemp, If you are around I would enjoy meeting you as well. I have enjoyed your advice and posts immensely. Look forward to seeing you guys there.

Wombatt,

Congrats on your arrival. Wish I had your cell. I', diving into a festa this very second. I just got a kick of reading your saga. Too bad we didn't hook up yeterday. I went to the Sambadromo for what was the most fantastic Parades I have ever seen in my life (and I've seen four of them in the Sambadromo before).

Anyway if you have a cell e-mail it to me at cuba_nut@yahoo.com Gotta go service some Cariocas now.

I'm 1 block from Alcazar's also so if you plan on being there at a certain time or day just post it here or e-mailme.

Cubanut

Saturday

Saturday I moved into one of Don´s apartments just around the corner from Alcazar (we're neighbors, Cubanut!). It was pretty close to 9PM and I decided to go to the Sambadromo for the winners´parade. I was getting instructions on how to get there by subway, when I spotted to seriously hot blonds in golden tights trying to get their costume into a taxi.

"Sayyyy, I´ll bet they´re going the same direction I am." I introduced myself and asked if they´d let me share the ride. One was quite taken aback by this but quickly accepted. Her friend was not so keen. I hoped in.

On the way I learned that one was a lawyer (she looked barely 25) and the one who accepted me was a ... wait for it ... med student. Could my karma have done a 180 and my prediction come (nearly) true? Could this be the med student who would dedicate her life to me?

Well, ya´ll know me by now -- didn´t happen. I did get some photos of them getting in to their gear ... as well a few hundred other people. It was a blast. Unfortunately, I could not get past the gate so I missed the show itself.

Advice: See this show. The costumes and floats are astounding.

At midnight I went back to Copa where I was to meet up with a Monte Carlo gal. She was a no show so I high tailed it down to Help to look over what was on offer.

I wasn´t all that impressed, but I did manage to find a young lady who would have fit right in in South East Asia but for her eyes. She was about 5 foot nuthin' and about a hundred pounds soakin' wet. We settled on a price (too high) and went back to the apartment.

She put on the stereo and we swapped dance steps. I didn´t quite connect with her, but she dashed off and hit the showers before I had a chance to try some warm up strategies. When she came out, wrapped in a towel, I showed her my photos from the evening.

She was the one who suggested we take shots of our bedroom antics. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!

Well she was photogenic and a lot of fun, but not up to my performance demands (deep kisses being my primary indicator). She left and I watched some more of the carnival parade on TV.

Sunday

Today I woke up way too early and was on the beach at 10AM.

I'm on my guard about shit flingers (guys who flick shit at your shoe when you're not looking and then get give you a shine). However, this morning I was wearing nylon sandles made of straps. I was safe.

Nope.

I was distracted by the beach and the little bastard got me. He had carefully placed a blob of something right on the intersection of two straps.

"Sure, buddy. Give me a clean up!" He happily went to work. When he finished, I put the sandal on, thanked him and walked off. That´s when he asked for money. "I´ve been here before," I said with a smile. "You try that trick on me again and I´ll hit you." I wasn´t smiling so much and pointed to my closed fist to make sure he got the message. He tried to make like he didn´t know what I was talking about.

I leaned toward him, raised my voice "Don´t come anywhere near me. If I see you, I´m going to hit you. He says something about me being crazy and tries to dismiss me. "Crazy? You want to see how crazy I am muther-fucker?!" I took my bag off my shoulder and started toward him. He backed off r e a l fast. I kicked his toothbrush off the sidewalk into the beach, "If I see you ..." I turned and walked off. He shouted after me but I kept walking.

I know some guys would just let it go, but I want those bastards to think twice when they pull that stunt.

Well, it´s tough to find a good beach spot in the morning. While there were lots of people on the beach, none of them were program girls. Over the next few hours I became surrounded by small families. Bummer.

I walked to Impenema, took a taxi to Sainte Theresa and finished off the day at Porcao (yum!). I´m stuffed and tired. I can´t belive I´ve made it to midnight.

Cubanut, I stop by Alcazar all the time 'cause I got no phone. Just let the guys there know you´re Don´s amigo. We´ll certainly hook up.

For a real nice beach spot with no problems at all go to Ipanema in front of Caesar Park and look for the tent "Marcelo American Tent" sign. Ask for my buddy John or Marcelo and they will take good care of you. John is an American living in Rio and is a great guy. He also owns a business called Rio Executive rioexecutive.com - I spent all day Sunday there. - Hemp

Speaking of beaches, a word of warning to my fair skinned northern pals: Wear sunscreen. I know you know this, but did you know you have to wear the stuff even when you're huddled beneath a beach umbrella? I spent a few hours on the beach, safely in the umbrella shade. I poked my head out for maybe five minutes at one point. Last night the lobsters were giving me a hard time for looking so red. Beach umbrellas do not protect you from the sun.

Monday

I've been pretty much wiped out today. Between the sunburn and a touch of a cold, I was pretty tired and just hung around Alcazar all day. It gave me a chance to meet a few of the boys who are still in town.

We were chatting with an Australian guy who knew little to nothing about the scene here. Get this, he'd never heard of a Therma. It just goes to show you how valuable the ClubHombre site is for newcommers (Hombre, think about making up some biz cards for us mongers to pass out on our trips).

I met up with Cubanut this afternoon. He and his buddy told me about a budget sanuk shop they hit earlier that day. Despite my lack of energy, I decided to check it out. It's on the 8th floor of what looks like a medical building (lots of docs and dentists there, anyway). A tiny little place with a few girls who do "massage."

For 100BRL, you get two, yes, count them, two girls for an hour. OK, so they may not be top shelf babes, but my gals were cute and enthusiastic. A good time was had by all!

On Tuesday the plan is to head to VIPs and have a bit of a party with the boys and some Karla girls. Wooo Hooo!

Wombat,

Would you please give me Don's contact information?? I am heading down to Rio in a couples of weeks and want to use his services.

Have a Great Day,

Evades

Don is at http://www.amerioca.net/

Snooky,

Thanks. Have a Great Day,

Evades

Tuesday

Tuesday was an interesting day. Me ´n´ the boys met for breakfast at Alcazar. Cubanut, a well seasoned Rio vet was good enough to organize a festa at VIP. He booked the Milenium Suite (Yowza, you should see this place) from noon til 8PM. He arranged two sets of girls to come over and play, a batch of about eight each from Karla´s and Scort.

We were supposed to be 8 guys, but one fella bailed on us in the morning. We arrived with a whole lot of snacks and drinks, got into our robes and set up the tunes. The girls arrived at about 1PM. The girls looked around and wasted no time getting showered. From there we paired off in the numerous corners of the suite and enjoyed ourselves silly.

I know some guys are pretty shy about semi-public sex, but let me tell you that it´s no big thing. If anything, it´s fuckin´ funny as hell. Anyone who was too shy was free to sneak off to a secluded spot to do his thing.

The girls left, the cleaning crew came in to clean up our filth and we caught our collective breath. It was then we discovered the girls pretty much whipped out the larder (and we had a lot of snacks).

Lesson learned: Do not provide snacks. Drinks are a very good idea, but what happens is that they sneak off for food when they´re suppose to be sausage snarfing. They won´t starve in two hours, so forget about feeding them.

The second shift was a bit late and one guy, who was leaving from VIPs straight to the airport, was just a l i t t l e bit anxious.

They showed up about a half hour late, but a good time was still had by all. Our departing brother literally came and went. He had three girls all over him to bring him off. He spent all of sixty seconds in the shower, two minutes getting dressed and another two minutes saying goodbye, then it was out the door and back home. What a way to go.

The girls left and we hung around the place for an hour or so. Cudos to Cubanut for making this happen. You´re a mongering prince, my friend.

This sort of party, by the way, is something you have to try at least once. It really was a blast. I just wish I had had more energy as I´m still someone under the weather.

Additional lessons learned: Have little trash bags scatered everywhere. It makes clean up and walking around a lot less gross (if you know what I mean). If you´ve got the attention of two girls and you see another guy with two girls, that means there´s a guy who doesn´t have any girls -- don´t be greedy. If setting up a party like this, everyone must make a sizeable deposit (if one guy bails, it costs the others). Play samba music.

I´m sure there´ll be more suggestions, but those should be added to UWphoto´s guide, I suppose.

Wednesday

This morning I stopped in a pharmacy to get some cough syrup. The druggest insisted on taking my temerature after I had described my symptoms in pantamime.

He goes into his cabinet and pulls out a few potions. He pops the top off two of them and starts drawing the vile looking liquid into a syringe. "W-w-w-watcha gunna do with that!?" I asked horror sticken. 1) I hate needles. 2) Needles should only be given by cute nurses so I am distracted from the needle because 3) I hate needles.

He´s already gone this far so I begrudgingly agree to lower my shorts for a shot in the rump. Ouch. I sat down and tried to keep the world from going white-out on me. Meanwhile, my new mad scientist pal is pulling out all sorts of medicines and doing his best to tell me how to use them.

When I´ve recovered enough to review what he´s told me, he runs up the bill. I am pleasantly surprised to note that his calculater reads something like 26BRL (and change). Cool, I can afford to get sick here. I should look into liposuction!

It´s then that I notice the decimal is in the wrong place. Things start getting woozy on me as I realize that this little excursion to pick up a bottle of cough syrup is going to set me back 260BRL.

So, it´s time for a rest from the beach. I´ve been wanting the visit the old emperial capital of Petropolis for some time. I caught the bus this morning, accompanied by two guys who just wanted to make a day trip out of it. We checked out the palace (very nice) and walked around a few hours. While it does make for a good day trip, I´m looking forward to a couple of days of clear mountain air and total relaxation. I´m really going to need my energy later.

Wombat, you have more shit go wrong for you in a week than most of us do in a year! Some guy puts some shit in a needle for you and you drop trow and let him inject you? You are nuts dude, most of us just buy a bottle of amoxicillin or cipro or some other broad-spectrum antibiotic for like R$25 and be done with it. Make sure you get a name brand and not a generic, but in your case who knows what they fuck they gave you.

As far as the Vips festa, that sounds interesting except that you guys did forget one small detail. Generally with a festa each guy rents a room and fucks there, not necessarily in the Suite. Not a big deal, it sounds like everyone was cool with it, but just because you're at a buffet doesn't mean you share the same plate and cup with everyone, right?

Catocony,

Nothing was forgotten. I always throw out the idea of renting additional rooms. The whole concept of a festihna orgy is just that, it's an orgy. Your buffet comparison is more like everyone sitting at separate tables if each guy rents a room. As a matter of fact it makes no sense then to do a festa that way to me. You are better off at a terma.

Catocony, I have no standards as far as what a monger should or should not do. We did not feel additional rooms were neccessary. We fucked garotas in the showers, the beds, the tables, the fuck machines, the couches, the recliners, the patio furniture, the waterfalls the pool, the jacuzzi, the steam room, the sauna and every other place except the floor.

Wombatt88 I wish you had said you were'nt feeling well. My travel partner is a doctor. He was busy with his regular girls so didn't have time to join us but he could have looked you over and given you something

Cubanut

Wombat, great report. Back in September, I had two festa in the VIP Millineum suite and it was a blast. The first one was with 8 girls and four guys with me being the only non-Brazalian and only over 25 years old. It was like having your own porn film going on especially with the huge TV and porn flicks playing. Second time, my wife and I hosted one with 8 girls and three other Americans. Great memories. Although, I was shocked when I received the first bill and it came to 2990brl and I paid the girls separate. It was a sixteen hour party. The bill was correct as they itemized it for me. Will hope to do it again soon.

Have a Great Day,

Evades

Should I bring a robe with me for this type of event, or does VIPs provide them?

VIP's provides them. All you need to bring is MONEY and a RAGING HARDON and you will be a happy camper. - Hemp

Catocony, I think I´ll have to look into the amoxicillin. I doubt I have an infection, I´m convinced it´s just the remnants of a cold. I´m quite wiped out, however. I guess a couple of days in the mountains will do me some good. Cubanut, I may still need your doc pal if I´m still under the weather this weekend. My previous experiences with docs in foriegn lands have been pretty iffy.

The whole orgy/festa thing is something you´re either into or not. Not having seperate rooms means you get a chance to nail more girls sooner as there´s no time lost between picking up a babe and, um, putting her down, so to speak. Admitedly, some guys don´t want to be seen naked and surely have no desire to look at other naked guys (yuck!), but with so many naked girls, you tend not to notice the other guys (even when they´re on the same bed as you!).

For festas, I always have the men in robes and the girls naked which is better than the termas. The Vips room has two floors to it so that you can find privacy. The first festa, I was in the jacuzzi with three girls and this young brazilian guy had a girl in the corner of the jacuzzi pumping away. It was very interesting and definitely a great experience. Everyone should try a festa once. If nothing else, just be a voyeur and watch.

Have a Great Day,

Dave

Friday

Greetings from the mountains where the babes are just as hot as Rio but the air is oh-so much cooler. I spent last night in Teresopolis (named after the Emperor´s wife). The city was built about a hundred years ago. The most impressive feature is the view of the nearby peaks, particularly one known as the "Finger of God" (it looks remarkably like a hand pointing skyward).

The town itself is worth seeing only if your bus happens to break down there, otherwise don´t even bother looking out the window as you ride by.

Iteresting hotel experience last night. I get a recommendation for a cheap hotel and stop in to check it out. The woman working the dest speaks no English. No big thing, I´m just getting a room, right? Now, I don´t care where you come from, but if you have a hotel, you have a pretty good idea as to the sort of questions a potential guest would have, right? I mean, if an alien race stopped in to your hotel, you could pretty much guess what they´re interested if the only language with which they could communicate consisted of blowing bubbles.

I indicate to the woman that I am interested in a room. I ask how much by making a writing guesture on my hand (like asking for the bill in a restaurant) and saying Real ("ray-eyes"). She looks at me dumbstruck. I pull out my wallet, point to the notes. Nothing.

Last resort, I dig out my little phrase book and look up the word for price. Oh, now she gets it and starts going off in Portuguese. "Now in-TANE-doe Port-oo-GAZE" I remind her. I take a pen and paper and get her to write it down. 40BRL, OK.

Next, I point upstairs to the rooms, then pantomime opening a door and looking around. She gives me the sort of look I´d expect from a sheep hound if I´d just given it an algebra equation to solve. I get more creative in my pantomime, looking at the room, giving it a thumbs up and paying, giving it a thumbs down and walking out. I might just as well be giving her a lecture on existentialism in Swahili.

Defeated, I pull out the book and write down the Portuguese for "see room." She looks at it and comprehension washes over her. I must surely be the first person who has ever wanted to see the rooms here. <sigh>

In the morning I took the bus back to Petropolis. This is a great little city. A perfect get-way from the heat of the coast should you be so inclined.

Although I was planning to spend one more night up here, I remember Cubanut saying something about heading downtown for some low-budget action at Villa Mimmosa. Should prove interesting if I get back in time.

Next time, try Petropolis, there's some good sightseeing. Plan on spending some time at the museum, formerly the summer home of Emperor Pedro II, and renting one of those guides-on-tape (available in several languages) to get a really interesting education about the history of Brasil. Go shopping on Rua Teresa (prices and selection are excellent). If you're there on the right evening, there are concerts in a glass pavillion (I forget the name, worth seeing in itself).

Glad you're having fun (I hope). People say you should have a tour guide for "Villa Mimosa," someone like BrazilSpecialist who speaks Portuguese. It can be dangerous there. My friend who speaks like a native changed his mind about taking me there (he goes almost every night) after he saw a kid get killed.

Dang, apparently I missed Cubanut and the boys by minutes ... twice. When I arrived yesterday, they'd all just taken off to 4x4. By the time the evening rolled around, they'd dropped by Alcazar for a few minutes just before I arrived. I tried to track them down, but I was too late. Bummer, it would have been interesting to see this Villa Mimosa.

Today, Saturday, I'd planned to spend the day at the beach. Wouldn't you know it, overcast skys and a good chance of rain.

What to do, what to do ... Luomo maybe?

Wombatt,

Too bad you didn't go to either event. 4x4 was happening right from the start. Myself I took an Amazon blonde after exchanging tonsil exams for half an hour. After that went upstairs to the newer boite and just as I sat down with a fellow monger in front of the stage a show started. The first two garotas were excellent, the last two just ok. Went back downstairs and my English friend had just finished with the twins that work at 4X4. We were talking when they came on either side of me and proceeded to play with and give me different hairstyles. Five minutes into this guess what, another show started. Different garotas but good acts. One garota in particular is a Bwana_Dik favorite. A petite blonde with braces. She is skilled in strip dance with an incredible body. When the show was over I took her to a suite and found her to be top notch in the pleasure department.
The boys had just about all left except for three. I couldn't believe it was already going on 10pm. Yikes!! It's time to go to Villa Mimosa. I made it back to Alcazars but no one was there. I stopped by my apartment quickly to reload up on condoms. Most of the guys bailed on going because of safety concerns I guess. They were doing HELP again.

So four of us went down to Villa Mimosa. It was hot as hell because it was swamped with Brazillians and couple hundred garotas. We enjoyed the outdoor grilled cusine and I enjoyed 3 garotas (one at a time). The first was a stunning brunette with long hair and an absolute perfectly symetric body. The second was a cute thin garota in a Brittany Spears school girl outfit (high white sox, pigtails, necktie and all). Then just as I was leaving that place i spotted a natural blonde I had eyed last Sunday. She is sooo cute with gold wire rimmed glasses. So I hunted her to her lair and bedded down once again. Her place was the cleanest and biggest and had a huge fan above. She really gave me a rodgering for all of my R$25.

So I'm through writing this and BS's has just brought a college student for me to inspect. What a gorgeous ass on this girl. Time to go.

Cheers,

Cubanut

I can't believe I missed that outting (actually, I can).

So, Saturday afternoon I walked down to Luomo. The boys hadn't arrived yet, so I got into my robe and strolled out into the bar. The half dozen guys there at 4:30 were lined up at the bar. The twenty or so girls were scattered around, mostly on the couches. Since there were no spots to stand at the bar, I picked up a drink and flopped down on the nearest couch.

The girl sitting nearest me took this as a sign and scooted over. At first glance, she wasn't exactly my type (being a bit overweight). I warmed up to her eventually as she was quite responsive and most sensual. Her hands spent an inordinate amount of time beneath the hem of my robe. I soon learned that she was quite an adept kisser as well.

Eventually, I decided she'd worked me well and good and it was time to hit the cabine. I grabbed a quick shower while waiting, then it was off the the cabine.

When I brought out my little camera, Amanda was shy at first, but she soon warmed up to the idea of being photographed. We stripped down and she proceeded to work me over with her mouth.

By now I was really wrapped up with this girl. She had a really dark sun tan, a thin straight nose, dimples and a peircing green eyes.

It was less than fifteen minutes into the session that something happened that had never happened before ... I came much too quickly. I mean, there I was, really enjoying myself when "OhMyGod!" I never premature. In fact, when I cum I have to work for it, it builds up like a volcanoe with lots of smoke and ground rumblings. There I was 15 minutes into my session and I'm spent! Fuck!

The little darling was quite understanding and had me a full mast in no time. She rolled over, greased up her bum and invited me to play. Oh, what a sweetie!

We finished our time together and I hit the steam room and shower.

I had intended to do another session, but my game was so thoroughly off, that I just couldn't get it together. Amanda kept coming over and kissing me, so that made up for maters.

Well, the ol' internet shop is about to close up. More news later!

Those terma sweeties can do it to you/for you/with you! Yeah, just go back for more.

I don't know how much time you have left, but if you rent a phone, you will be able to keep in touch with your buddies, and not miss hooking up with them by minutes. See Don or Bobby.

this probably won't help much this time unless you have an unlocked american phone there, but in the future you can potentially just buy a sim card (about $15 or so) from claro or someone else and buy credits (they sell them in r10, 20, 50, etc. increments), this will give you a permanent local number and you can buy credits at any newstand or claro shop. calls to the us run about 2-3 reais per minute or so, but local sms and calls are cheap, just make sure they don't call you collect, cause then you are paying for both ends of the call "when it says chamada cobra". It is also great because your friends and family have a number they can call you on when you are there (if you choose to tell them where you are, lol).

if you are going to use your US cellphone with a brazilian (claro, vivo, etc.) sim card you need to make sure your cell phone is unlocked and will accept sim cards (I know all tmobile phones accept sim cards, and all sprint do not, don't know about the other companies but I think tmobile might be one of the only ones). Tmobile will unlock all of their phones, but you have to call them and ask them to do so, they will then email you a code and instructions for unlocking. You also have to make sure that the phone you are using is compatible with the network of the service provider you are using there, but most phones now a day are tri or quad band so you shouldn't have a problem there.

I have used four different phones there and they all worked once i got them "sim card unlocked" by tmobile before going (a treo 600, blackberry 7230, hp 6315, and a blackberry 7100t). it is a great thing to have cause when i am in brazil i just drop in my claro sim and have the same number and all the girls numbers in my phone. always good to hit the ground running, instead of having to give out a new number every time you are there, carry around all the girls numbers, etc.

You can also buy a phone in brazil from claro or another service provider. You don't have to sign up for a contract or anything, just get one that is prepaid compatible. The cheapest ones I believe start at around 100-150 usd. There is a claro store in rio sul and another on visconde de piraja near farme (a couple stores down from the citibank). it is a good investment if you are going to be in brazil for a while, or visit frequently, but you can't use (at least claro) phones in the US because they are sim card locked and Claro will not unlock them.

(Message edited by gr8ter on February 20, 2005)

I have to admit that one of the best investments I made in Thailand a while back was an ugly yellow cell phone I picked up used for around 30USD. Otherwise I've been holding off on the purchase of a cell phone only if because just about everyone else in North America has one (including kids in elementary school! What the hell do elementary school kids need a cell phone for?).

It looks like I'll have to take the plunge soon.

After calling it a day at Luomo, on Saturday, I walked down the boardwalk back to Alcazaar. I met up with Valterreekian and another guy for a chat and a drink before we headed off in different directions. I was still a bit hungry so stopped int Kilogramma for a snack, where I ran into BadMrFrosty. I took another walk around the outside of Help just for fun, but I was calling it an early night. Sunday I'd be doing a nice long hike.

Sunday

With the time change from the previous night, I was up early. Last Tuesday, before I joined up with the gang for our VIPs festa, I met a girl working in a travel agency with whom I really hit it off. She's of German decent so has pale skin and light hair ... and a babe. She offered to take me on a hike up one of the local mountain parks and I readily agreed. We had communicated a couple of times over the week so we had made our arrangements for Sunday morning.

I called her around 9AM on Sunday and woke her up (actually, her parents woke her up). We chatted for a while as we made our plans. She wanted to take the subway to Copa, but I suggested that since she was closer to the mountain, I meet her at her metro stop (it would also give her time to get ready). I got the instructions and walked to the metro station.

The metro is a big sucker. I've never seen a train so wide. I can't imagine how many people they shove in there during rush hour, but Sunday mornings are quite.

I arrived at the station near the big football stadium only to discover it had started raining. Bummer! I wasn't sure whether to reschedule for another day, wait it out, do something else, or what. So I called her. Busy signal on her home phone and a network recording on her cell. I waited and called again. Busy signal again. I was still a bit early (she figured we'd meet up at 10:30), so I waited a bit more and tried again. Still busy.

A vendor hanging out at the station asked me if he could help. I explained the situation. He told me the busy signal meant the phone was turned off. I tried a few more times but by the time it was nearly 11AM, I was pissed. The rain had stopped, but it was still grey and cloudy.

I walked over to the nearby national museum (housed in one of Pedro II's former palaces). While it's hardly a world class joint, they do have a stuffed coelacanth. After trying her number again, I checked out the zoo. I finally got through to this girl's home phone where her mother told me she'd gone off to Ipanema. Ipanema is where Hemp suggested I hang out with him on Sunday.

So, here I was wasting a perfectly good Sunday at a dusty old museum and kid infested zoo while the gal with whome I was suppose to be having a lovely day with, took off to the beach where I would have been had I my wits about me. Oh, the /i{irony}.

By now the sun was shinning and I was in a sour mood. I went back to Copa, had a bite to eat, walked along the beach for a bit and got bored.

Well, there was one last hope.

The night before I left for Petropolis, I met a girl out in front of Help. She certainly didn't look like she belonged there, so I chatted with her a bit. When I told her I was going to Petropolis the next day, she got quite excited telling me that she used to live there and could act as travel guide. I was tempted, but I was also travelling with my pals and awfully tired. I took her number and told her I'd give her a call.

I called her.

She was very happy to hear from me and yes she would love to get together. I suggested we watch the sun set from Corcovado. She thought it might be a bit cloudy and suggested Sugarloaf. The last time I was on Sugarloaf it was very crowded so I told her we would meet at the bottom of Corcovado and take the train up. I figured this would give me some time to get to know here.

Well, a fe minutes later I was at the train station and she wasn't there. Furthermore, the last train up was leaving in a few minutes. Grrr. On the other hand, the security guard told me not to go anyway becuase the top was in cloud. Hmmm.

I waited around for Michelle, convinced I'd been stood up twice in twelve hours, and started sinking into a major funk. Just then I saw her pop out of the information kiosk.

I sighed with releif, gave her a kiss, and explained the situation. "You were right, it looks like Sugarloaf." We took a taxi there and caught the cable car to the top.

Michelle was excellent company and very attentive. I had my arms around her as we watched the lights come on in the city. By the time we were ready to return to the bottom, we'd been doing some serious necking overlooking Copa.

I was getting a good vibe from this girl. Although I knew she was a pro, I decided to hit her with the idea of a short holiday in Paraty ... depending on how the evening progressed. She was open to the idea, but would not commit one way or the other. However, when I mentioned that I would rent a car, she suggested that we might use her father's car (which was not being used at the moment). Interesting.

She wanted to get changed before going to Copa, so I sent her home and I took a taxi back. We met at Alcazar at 10:30 to decide what to do. She turned me down on the Paraty trip (it's her sister's birthday in a couple days). We toyed with the idea of going to VIPs, but ended up in my crummy little apartment.

Well, the dissapointment of the day was soon in the past. Michelle was a real sweetheart and good kisser. While she wasn't up for photos, she certainly put on a great show.

She spent the night, but had to leave early the next morning. I don't get the early morning departure thing at all. I took her out to a cab and sent her on her way. It's a pity I couldn't convince her to go to Parati, 'cause I know we'd have had a good time.

Wombat too bad you couldn't make it Ipanema Beach on Sunday as there were about 12 Hombre guys hanging on the beach that day. We all were in front of Caesar Park Hotel at Marcelo (American Tent). Great Barraca with a lot of good eye candy. About 6 of us headed off to Monte Carlo to unwind after a tough day at the beach (what a life). Then we went to Solarium but if was too crowded so we did not enter (40 guys and only 28 girls) I don't like those odds at all. I guess Sunday was such a beautiful day at the Beach the girls played hookie from work. Man I tell you if I was Personnel Director at these Termas I would give them all a good "Tongue Thrashing" - Hemp

Monday

After seeing Michelle off, I sacked out for a few hours. I grabbed a bite a Kilogramma and wandered over to Alcazaar where I ran into a couple of hombres heading over to eat at Kilogramma. Oh well. They were planning to go to 4x4 for opening rounds. Cool, me too!

We met up at 1:30 and made arrangements. I had to take a seperate cab because I had to check on my car rental. I could pick it up between 6 and 6:30. If I was carefull, I could nail to Quatro babes and still make it to my car rental place.

When I arrived at 4x4, my pals were already there. There were not so many gals just yet, but that's not unusual. I was eyeing a dark haired spinner and planned to call her over until she perked up and chased after an Asian guy who'd just come in. The two of them chatted for several minutes while my pal and I discussed the fact that she was exactly what both of us were looking for. It looked like a tough competition should the Asian guy turn her down.

Which he did!

She turned away from him and made a bee-line to my buddy! WTF? She bent right over him and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. "I don't know what the hell signal you gave her, man, but you have to tell me what it is!" He later admited that he'd been with her on a previous trip.

The girl he wanted hadn't showed up yet so he wasn't sure what to do. Meanwhile, I had a total babe giving me the eye. I was both tempted and ... what, anti-tempted? She was gorgeous, but my experience has been that gorgeous babes typically don't work all that hard. My goodness she was good looking though. A bit heavy in the legs and bum, sort of heavy duty suspension.

She assured me she was a sex machine. I later found out that's like saying a Master Craft Philips head screwdriver is a screwing machine, just that you have to do all the work. So, in the end, I decided to go with her. As we left, I spotted two other girls who I felt were a better fit for my tastes. Typical.

On the way up the stairs, I checked out the photos and asked her if she was there. Not only was she there, the photos were professional ... pulled from the October issue of Playboy. Yowza!

I took an hour session, but I wish I'd gone with 40 minutes. While she was certainly pleasant and skillful, there was simply no passion. Afterward, we chatted in broken English and a minimal amount of Portuguese while I ran my hands all over her.

Back downstairs, I joined my pals. Time was tight, so I paid my leave and headed back to Copa to pick up the car and dispose of my apartment keys.

Tonight I head south and crash at a love hotel somewhere. On the morrow, it's the Green Coast and Paraty!

Friday

Well, it was a pretty nice little trip down the green coast. Parati was just as I'd left it, quiet. I've no doubt there are sanuking possibilities there, but I was simply too lazy to investigate.

I think everyone would agree that the Rio women are good looking, for the most part. Right? Well, with few exceptions, the women I saw as I drove south were plain to unattractive. Weird, eh?

Well, driving back from Parati, I laid out my plans. I'd check in at the Marriott, drop off the car and head downtown to Therma 65 or 4x4. Then, I'd hang out at Alcazaar then Terrace Atlantic for the evening. Ah, but you just know it was not to be, right?

I wanted to spend my last few nights in Rio surrounded by all the comforts of the Marriott. I'd accumulated a whole whack of points and planned to cash a few in. Well, the buggers kept claiming that the hotel was full. It's not. I checked. Turns out they only allow so many point users to take a room for free. I never had this problem in Thailand as they were always able to find a room if they had vacancy.

So, I called Don and he managed to put something together for me short notice. The room was quite nice, but sitting right on Copa Ave. It is, without exception, the noisiest room I've ever experienced. Earplugs -- never leave home without 'em.

I was too tired to go out chasing anything last night, so I called for Giselle at Karla models. She's a sweetie, but not much of a performer. Afterward, I hung around Terrace Atlantic for an hour with Cubanut and another guy.

There were some impressive babes out last night, but I'm not even tempted to step in to Help.

What you experienced with Marriott, that's called 'inventory control', a product of 'yield management' techniques. It's common practice with any airline, hotel, car rental, etc.

It's why seats/rooms sell for different prices at different dates (advance purchase, last minute penalties, last minute discounts).

It's surprising that you've never seen it before, but we should all expect to see it and be prepared.

Friday -- Continued

I caught up with one of the guys at Kilogramma for breakfast. Man, I'm really going to miss that place. I decided it was a downtown sorta day and caught the bus to Centro.

The bus really is a great deal because it will drop you off a few blocks from 4x4! I was too early so I did a bit of sight seeing and checked out the market near the metro station. Lots of cheap cell phone junk, knock off watches, movies, software and music to be had there.

I mosied on over to 4x4 around 3:30. The place was a bit quiet, so I hit the steam room. Back in the bar, I had my eye out for a little spinner sporting braces (rrRow!). Instead, I ended up siting with a Halle Barry look alike. Between her eight words of English and my six words of Portuguese, we didn't talk much ... but we did connect.

A couple of the boys dropped in and I managed a few minutes of chat time. I was reminded that I had only 15 minutes to take a girl upstairs to save the entrance fee. Halle was more than happy to join me.

I had my doubts about her as she wasn't terribly intimate as we sat together. However, once we were in the cabine, she was practically attacked me. Yowza! Darling, where were you on Monday? (Actually, I spotted her on Monday, but just never got around to walking over to her. Damn!)

This girl suited me to a T. An ethusiastic kisser, deep dark eyes, passionate, she had just what I needed.

At one point, the condom broke. I knew this instantly and pulled out. She damn near paniced. I calmed her down and explained that I hadn't come. She was worried about getting pregnant. I assured her I'd marry her if it came down to that (man, I could do worse than this girl!).

We completed our session, much to our mutual satisfaction. I asked her to join me at my apartment when she finished work that night and she agree. This girl has the hand strength of a Thai girl and gave equally good massage! We exchanged her phone number for my address and went to the showers.

I ran into a stealth Hombre in the steam rooms. He joined up last year but hadn't posted much. I encouraged him to do so and share his experience.

I spotted my gal in the bar a little while later. We hung out together before she decided she had to get some food. I talked to a few of the guys before the smoke started to overcome me. I decided to check out the new bar upstairs.

I ran into my girl on the way and pulled her along with me. We sat in a booth with our drinks and communicated as best we could given the language barrier. Man, I was smitten with this babe.

The hours were getting on and she showed no interest in leaving. I, on the other hand, needed some "fresh" air and decided to depart. She told me to call her at 11PM and we would make our rendezvous in Copa.

Of course it didn't occur to me later that we would not be able to talk on the phone, but I was love struck.

I left 4x4 at 8PM. I had a couple of hours to kill. Hmmmm ... let's see, what's close to 4x4? Well, there's always Therma 65 right around the corner? I knew I wouldn't have a chance to visit it again, so off I went.

65 is not half as big nor has half the girls of 4x4, but my last trip there was a memorable one. I was, quite frankly, dissapointed in what I saw there Friday night. I was thinking I should cut my losses (55BRL) and call it a night.

As I went to the bar to get a drink, a cute dirty blond gave me a half smile. I asked her if she spoke English. She could.

I talked to her for several minutes. She was soooo good at working the bar, I never even noticed that she had squeezed in close to me and had her hands on my shoulders and arms. She was a natural.

It wasn't long before we were kissing up a storm. Not long after that, both hands found their way into my robe and she was checking out the little wombat.

Decision made. We took one of the rooms for an hour.

Oh, and what an hour. She really enjoyed sex. We made extensive use of our time together, finishing up in the rumpy pumpy position. When I finished, she didn't want me to pull out, but to simply savour the moment. Ohhh, yeah.

Eventually, the phone rang and we had to get cleaned up. I gave her a kiss goodbye and went off to get changed.

I made it back to Copa just in time to call Halle. I told her to come to the apartment, but I know there was a lot of confusion as I had no idea what she was saying. I just hoped she would make it soon.

I hung out in front of the apartment building for about a half hour. Unfortunately, I was exhausted. I was half hoping she wouldn't show as I was simply too pooped to pop. I left a message with the doorman and turned in. She never did turn up.

Damn, I wish I understood Portuguese.

Saturday

A few days ago, when I confronted my Tuetonic babe about flaking out on me last Sunday (hike the mountain trip), she claimed that she spent nearly an hour trying to track me down at the metro station. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She said she would try to get off work early on Saturday.

Well, after calling her, I learned that she could not get off work but she was having a belated birthday party that night and I was invited to attend. I was warned that hardly anyone spoke any English, but I figured a couple of hours checking out her place (her parents' actually) and her friends would be OK.

I spent the day touring the botanical gardens then caught the downtown bus to explore some more of Central.

At 6PM, I picked up some juice and a bottle of Malibu and I made my way to Tuetonic babe's address ... and got lost. I called her up and she realized that her instructions were not so good. She had me stay right there and she'd come fetch me. She ran up a few minutes later dressed in a tight Chinese dress. RrrooOwww! She gave me a hug and guided me the 100m to her place.

The party was a bomb; not the bomb, a bomb. The apartment was pretty small, so all the old relatives sat in the living room while half a dozen of her friends camped out in her bedroom. I divided my time between them while trying not to take up too much of Tuetonic babe's time. I planned to escape as soon as reasonably acceptable. Each attempt, however, was thwarted by Tuetonic babe who insisted that I stay for drinks, then cake, then music, then <ack!> cards.

At ten thirty I made my escape explaining that we'd be going up the mountain early the next day and it was time for me to hit the hay. Actually, it was time to check out the talent in front of Help. Tuetonic babe saw me to the door (telling me we should meet after 11AM as we'd have lots of time); her dad saw me to the metro station.

I made it back to Help just before midnight where I met up with some of the boys. The talent, I'm sorry to say, was pretty lacking that night. I hung out for a while longer and called it a night.

Sunday

Got up for an early swim on Sunday, then walked the beach. Man, I love Sundays on the beach when they close the traffic.

I showed up at Tuetonic babe's place at about 11:45. I tried calling her (like the week before), but both phones were tied up. I was kinda pissed.

I rang her bell and she said she'd be down in ten minutes. "Make it five" I told her. It was nearly ten minutes later when I rang again. "What are you doing?" She told me she was packing her bag. "We're going for a few hours, not days!" (damnit).

By the time she came down in was time to wish each other a good afternoon. We had a great time walking to the bus stop and heading for the mountain. She's really well read for a 23 yr old, has excellent English and some very good ideas. I'm just sorry the rest of the day was not as enjoyable.

We took off into the forest (where she practically grew up) where she showed me her favorite spots. The climb up the mountain was a challenge (to say the least). Tuetonic babe was a mountain goat, racing ahead and taking off again when I caught up.

At the summit she congratulated me telling me that most of her friends (including young athletic types) gave up too often. Hey, I may be an old fart, but I know how to pace myself.

We spent a few minutes exploring the top before she became interested in a group of hikers at the top, chatting with them in Portuguese. I suggested it was time to head down, but she wanted to hang out for the sunset. I could see we weren't getting much of a sunset. She also told me that the three guys and one girl had a car and would give us a lift. I could not imagine the six of us fitting into a typical student car.

I told her she should hang out up there with her new friends and I'd make my way down. This was a test. She responded by telling me no, that she wanted to be with me. OK. I told her I was heading down the mountain now and she could catch up. By the time I reached the bottom of the trail, she was a no show. This girl was so fast going up the mountain, there was no way in hell she could not beat me down.

There are two things I dislike: waiting for people (needlessly) and depending on people. That's why I travel alone. I made my way back to the bus stop, caught the metro and high-tailed it to Luomo. Ahhh, yes, Luomo.

The place was pretty over run with guys, unfortunately. The few cuties I met on my previous visit were no where in sight.

I grabbed a shower and said hello to an asian looking guy who looked familiar. Later we both discover we'd met on our first trip to Rio.

I ended up going with a girl who put on a very sensous dance show last time. I learned that she is the daughter of a jazz dance instructor. Cool! She had an exotic cat-like look to her. When she danced, she always had this Mona Lisa smile (with dimples no less!). Unfortunately, my session with her was not so memorable. In fact, when we finished and she learned I knew Don, she was practically gushing over how much she liked him. Yeah, well I like him too, but please darling, not now!

I joined a few of the guys for dinner then headed for Terrace Atlantico for a walk around. It was a real quiet evening there; not much to get excited about, I'm sorry to say. My last night ... alone.

Man Wombat, I had a few problems here and there, but I got to sa that you encountered a lot more problems than I. It was sure a pleasure to meet you buddy. Hope to have the chance to do so again, your a class act.

Monday

My last day. I'd planned to get up early and take a farewell walk on the beach, but I was too damn lazy and slept in 'til 9AM.

Sunday night, DonGringo tried to set me up with one of his girl friends (whom he described in such lustful details I feared having wet dreams that night). When I called him around 10:30AM, we learned that she had switched off her phone. I'd hoped to spend a leisurely few hours in bed with this babe before heading to the airport. Now I was stuck with another "situation."

I could prowl the beach, call an escort service or go to a Therma. What to do, what to do?

If I went to 4x4, I'd probably end up with Halle Barry again -- not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'd certainly like to nail two babes before departing for points north.

I could go to 65 or one of the other thermas, but I knew that the 4x4 babes were a sure bet. I packed my gear and caught the Centro bus.

When the bus arrived downtown, the helpful driver and ticket taker wanted to know where I was going. Fortunately I knew the street (and even knew where it was). They wanted to know which number on Buenous Aires I was going. I swallowed and responded "Quatro quatro." The driver and ticket guy started to discuss where this was. A few male passengers chimed in with their input. Not understanding a word, I just smiled and kept my eyes out for my stop.

I arrived at 4x4 at 2PM. It was a bit too early so I dropped my gear in the locker room and ran up the road to check out the market. I picked up some cheap CDs and high tailed it back to 4x4.

The moment I walked into the bar, I spotted Halle. She was very pleased to see me and dragged me off to a corner. I gave her a very stern finger wagging for flaking out on me on Friday night. Even her friend joined in on the berating.

I had brought with me some maple cookies for the girls to enjoy. Oddly enough, very few of them liked the flavor. They loved, however, the coconut taffy I brought from Thailand.

You know, Monday afternoon is an excellent time to be in 4x4. The place was crawling with serious babe and very few fellows.

We spent about an hour communicating without talking before it was time to go upstairs. I took a shower and shaved then we went for a cabine. Just as before, she nearly attacked me when we closed the door.

Oh, a good time was had by all.

However, there was a ... shall I say "dramatic" moment during our tryst.

I didn't mention it in my Friday report that when the two of us were sitting together after our session, she got all teary-eyed. I wrote it off as the result of a particularly emotional love song coming through the sound system.

During our love making (it was beyond simple fucking at this point), the water works really let go.

With broken English and gestures, she explained that she had a lot of problems. She told me she had problems with Moma and Popa and, wait for it, the police.

This girl does not look like the sort who'd be involved in crime, but who knows. I can't imagine her world.

I was girding myself for the inevitable request for money, but it never came. Instead she begged me not to leave and told me she loved me.

I'm a sucker for girls 1) with problems, 2) who need my help, 3) who tell me they love me and 4) are total babes. So what was I to do? I told her to learn English and I would learn Portuguese. We could stay in touch by e-mail and I would come back to Brazil as soon as I could. (Up until this point I figured I had at best a 20% chance of returning.)

I got her back in to the mood and managed to finish just as the phone rang. We spent a few more minutes hugging and kissing. I hit the showers and went back to the bar to wait for her.

We spent a couple more minutes together before she dragged me off into the corridor to give me her contact info. I got dressed and she walked me to the stairs where she gave me a big hug.

Man, between Halle Barry in one hemisphere and Smiling Girl in the another, I'm going to be one busy Wombat.

I ran into CubaNut in the Sao Palo airport. I barely recognized him. His hair was cut short and neat and he actually looked <gulp> respectable!

My Pal KeeMo gave me some sleeping pills that really did the trick for the overnight flight to NJ. Unfortunately, a major snowstorm cancelled my connecting flight. Eight hours in the New Jersey airport <sigh>.

Eight hour layover....ugh. I can feel for ya man. It really sucks when flights that long go awry

It was great to meet you my friend, you are a good man.

Going to BKK anytime soon? I am planning on going in mid April, it would be great to hang with you and Eastern Hemisphere girl

Hey Wombat...

It was nice hanging with in Rio. This guy loves REAl adventures! I remember seeing him every other day....as he would rent cars and travel thru Rio. As we all know, Rio has a lot more to offer than just beautiful women! On one of my trips, I am going to try and do the same thing!...It's just sooo hard to get away from all those beautiful women!

I remember speaking to you at the Kilogram restaurant after one of your excursions. Oh yes...and I remember the Halle Berry look alike you had a 4 X 4 the day you left! She was HOT! This guy was leaving Rio from 4 X 4 and was just in AWE and sheer amazement about the session he just completed! He could not stop talking about this session! What a way to leave Rio...with ever lasting memories!

Hope to run into you again, Wombat! You mentioned me in your report but I do not think you remember my name. I was the young black guy....that always wore the black Doo rag on my head!

Priew100 - Yeah you looked young when you got here but as time went by you were starting to look a lot older (Hit The Wall By Chance?) Glad you had a good time and nice to meet you my friend. We'll keep them warm for you. - Hemp

Thanks for taking on another tough job, Hemp.

Priew100, you (and quite a few other fellows) would have been mentioned a few times if I could've remembered your handle.

I always go into a catatonic state when trying to decide if I should remember a guy's real name or his handle. I've considered taking notes, but that sure wouldn't win me any friends from the paranoid set. (Right, "BoweryBoy"?)

Hemp, Yea....after going strong for over two weeks, I hit the WALL big time! I had to start pacing myself thereafter. Despite that wall, I always managed to hit HELP every nite till the end. Next trip...I will be better prepared.

Oh yea...Hemp, thanks for trying to hook me up with the girl that was tagging along with you and your date that nite. She wasn't bad looking, but I was just too tired for another session right away. I did see her later on that nite at HELP and she gave me some dirty looks!

For all of you guys who haven't had a chance to meet Hemp in person, he looks just like Hugh Hefner from Playboy. The only difference is.....Hemp is screwing more ladies than Mr Hefner!