Not a lot has changed in Nicaragua in the past year. The only thing non-hobby related going on right now is Bolanos is grasping at what is left of his power, as he has been disowned by his party, and the Sandinistas don't like him - legislatively, he is all alone and it is certain he'll be replaced in the upcoming election. I thought it was curious that the Nicaraguans preferred Aleman, even though he raped them for more than 100 million US. When I asked them why, they said "at least he paved the roads every once in a while." Ok, enough of the Evening News with Dan Rather (tm), on to more important matters...

Street Girls - all you can eat for $20.00 a pop on Carretera Masaya. You say you're above that, that you'd never...but you know you have. If YMMV was ever applicable, this the place. But look hard, as there are always a diamond in the rough here.

Vale Todo - Despite rumors, it is not closed or down for remodeling. It is still smoking, and in my opinion is the best mid-range good time. I was there this trip, one night, with two friends. We were all pretty tired from pimping all day at the Bellezas, and after repeated refusals to go back with the young ladies, our waitress (a costena who spoke perfect english) said that if we bought one $80.00 US bottle of Absolute Vodka, we could all three each pick a lady and go to the VIP room together for 3 hours. Um, all three of us? $80.00? DEAL! Luck would have it we picked the sweetest ones in the whole lot. Problem was we kept getting interrupted by the waitress. No problem, 10.00 tip buys us some privacy. It was absolutey the best time I've had at a traditional strip club in Managua. Anything we wanted, how we wanted it, for as long as we wanted it. If you are with a group of guys and are not shy, this is the way to go. After a full three hours, we collectively tipped them $100.00. So normally, to go back to a normal room with one girl, you would buy her a drink (10.00) and then $100.00 for the session in a very uninspired room with rushed service. One person, $110.00. For the bottle of Vodka and mixers (which all six of us drank), the room for 3 hours, three stunning-do-anything girls the complete tab was $190.00 - and badda-bing, that how you hang Nica-style. On another note, there wasn't a single bad looker in the entire place that night, and we walked in sober. Vale Todo get the 5 star this trip - better than any time I had in Brasil - albeit, the stars lined up just perfect that night... In all Managua strip clubs, you are gonna get the lady-drink sell - just remember the awesome power of "No, gracias." As long as you are drinking something, don't ever feel uncomfortable about declining a young lady when she wants a $10.00 drink. Take this time for example - they obviously were getting no place with us in regards to the lady-drinks, but we were paying our way - so they decided to sweeten the deal for us ;->

Diamond Club - Speaking of Diamonds, this is the new place. Carretera Masaya next to the Texaco Station. Beautiful girls pushin' the drinks big-time. Great place, nice girls, too much $$$.

27 de Mayo - One night I was at Hippos (a trendy restaurant in the Los Robles section of Managua) my traveling buddy was still sleeping at 11:00 PM from his first day's workout. I was nursing not a hangover, but a severe headache. I resigned that I would call it a night and have some coffee and a sandwich. Three Nico borrachos were drinking the night away, and they invited me to their table when they noticed I didn't have a lighter. We all work in the same industry and my spanish was good, so we hit it off immediately. One of the guys wants to take me to 27 de Mayo and I accept. Guys, this is gringo-zero in Managua. If you thought your life was in danger at Polanco, I assure you that Polanco is Disneyworld compared to 27 de Mayo. Cool thing about Nicos when they are drunk is if they like you, you're money is no good! So we are both shitfaced, but he more than I. The girl with me was ordering doubles, which was cool, because my money was no good here ;-> I don't know if she was the most stupid of God's creatures, but she offered her drink, asking me if I liked the taste. "It's soda!" I exclaimed. I guess it didn't register with my new Nico friend, so I said with a little more conviction "We are paying double for doubles of nothing!?" He had a mouth full of Flor de Cana, and when he heard me say that, He gushed is all out, all over the girls at the table, and then yelled "Joo are fuckeeeen trying to ripoff friend!?!? (I guess he forgot he was paying) Jooooo fuckeeeeen putas!!! The place came to a standstill, like EF Hutton was talking, and the three girls at our table got up and dumped their drinks on him, he leaped at one of them, and I dove on him to keep him away from her and we fell to the floor. With no more drinks to throw at us, they start punching me and hitting me with a chair (they were after him, but I was in the way, holding him down). Oh shit, here come the bouncers! As fast as it started, they subdued the girls (not us) and kicked them out. They apologized to us profusely, and the whole place erupted in laughter and applause as we got up and dusted ourselves off. What's wrong with this picture? We were the ones that were supposed to get whacked on side of the hill, after being hauled off by the bouncers! Well, it turned out that my new Nico friend was Bolanos' nephew and everyoine there knew who he was - my money was no good there because his money was no good there! Three more girls come to us, waiters, manager apologizing, and man, my back and ribs are hurting. I go to the back with a prize looker. I offered her $20.00, but she refused. If you laugh at Fear Factor, scratch your head wondering what's so hard about The Amazing Race, and can stand all the drama and the pain that comes along with it, this place has the best lookers I've seen in Nicaragua so far. They are not dolled up Playboy/Vale Todo style, they are just simply the best looking companeras in the barrio, out having a good time.

Bellezas - All over Managua. They are beauty parlors fronting for casa. Go in, drink, talk with the girls, pick one and go get a "massage" from her. One hour, $20-30 for the Belleza, $20-30 to the girl. I would go on about all the ones we went to (probably two per day), but they are basically all the same. Remember, the girl in the room will initially ask for $100 US. The proper response is to giggle slightly and begin to pull your pants back on. She'll immediately go to $30.00 and then depending on your negotiating skill and spanish proficiency, you can get her down to $20.00. Just drive around, look for signs that say "Belleza Blah Blah Blah" where Blah is the name of that particular Belleza. The ones in Bolonia and Los Robles seem to be more upscale and have nicer rooms. For taxis, say "Yo quiero un Belleza bueno.."

They are eveywhere - on the way driving back from Leon, a so-so looking companera was hitchiking on the highway. I pick her up, and we make small talk. She is, like me, going to Managua, her boyfriend is in jail, but what can she do? He's the father of her children, blah, blah... Somewhere in the conversation, she just blurts out "Any auto-hotel is good, just pull into one when you are ready..." Hmmm, gas, grass or ass, nobody rides for free - even in Nicaragua. God Bless her. She wasn't the best looking thing (she's the only girl I got a photo of this trip, will post it after I submit this), but she had nice big hooters and was just as sweet as can be. After I dropped her off at home, I gave her $10.00 plus an extra 100 cordoba bill I had floating around in my pocket - I thought she was going to cry. She gave me a big, gigantic hug, thanked me, and she scurried into the shanty with her mother peering out of the door...

I love this place.

Picked her up on the highway from Leon to Managua. Not the prettiest thing, but big hooters and sweet as can be. And hey, free is free!!!

Photo: Hitchhiker

you sir, are a true connosseur of our way of life, and for that, I commend you.

Great write up on a place I've wanted to visit. When I used to go to Costa Rica, one of my favs was a Nica. A very sexy gal. I'd be curious if you had some pics, or if you can provide more details on the quality of gals you saw. Do you have an opinion of Nicaragua relative to other Central or South American countries.

The only photo I have is of that hitchiker I picked up, but she was just an average looking sweetie from the barrio. I think Nicas have a great attitude, and they are probably the sweetest girls anywhere. They are also very comfortable with themselves, which I think comes across as sexy. I came across more pretty girls on this trip than any other trip I've made there. Everywhere I looked, they were great. I wish I had a photo of the girl I was with in the VIP room in Vale Todo - she was an absolute 10 in every regard. If you go to Vale Todo, ask for Gina joven/blanca.

In regards to other CA countries, I think there is a definate difference. Latinas are sweet in general. In my opinion, Nica women are a little more independant, open-minded as long as she is respected (Respect is a big deal in Nicalandia), strong willed, love to take care of men who take care of them in return, and are more emotionally balanced. For me, it's refreshing to have a sweet girl who I don't have to babysit. Generally speaking, there is a lot less drug use, and I think that might have a lot to do with it - although it's hard to find a Nica that can't drink you under the table. I think they are God's finest creatures, the total package or brains (they are typically better educated and opinionated), beauty and spirit. But if you're in it just for the skin, Brasil is probably a better choice.

Off-topic, you are a lot safer in Nicaragua than Costa Rica - San Jose is declining rapidly in terms of crime.



(Message edited by defconsul on February 02, 2005)

"Hmmm, gas, grass or ass, nobody rides for free - even in Nicaragua"

That's pretty funny man!

My best friend here in the US is a NIca. Guess I'll have to go with him to "visit his family."

Lol Latin, your best Male friend is a Nico, a Nica is female. If you called him a Nica to his face, he would think you were calling him Gay

Nice action DefC. You seem to have a good handle on the place. Do you live there? or just visit frequently?

Some of my favorite action while in Costa was from the Nicas. How does Nic compare with Copacabana for safety issues?

Unlike Costa Rica where you have Tico (male) and Tica (female) because the word does not directly derive from "Costa Rica" in Nicaragua the word Nica, short for Nicaragüense (Nica-ragüense) can thus be used for both male and female. After all you would not call a male Nicaragüenso and a female Nicaragüensa. Trust me on this one; they are all Nicas.

Latinlover2005: Collectively as a people they are called Nicas. Men are called Nicos, at least to their face ;->

Dongringo: I am married to a Nica - so I am there at least a couple of times per year. Compared to Copa? There is no comparison. Walking around just about anywhere in Nicaragua is like walking around in Taipei or the Vatican. They have some rough barrios by the airport in Managua, and Mercado Oriental is touch and go, but even a seasoned tourist/hobbyist, you'd never find yourself in those places.

It would be cool to hang with you in Nica, as I have never been there. Love the bar fight story. Thanks for the report.

Thanks for an interesting report.

What Hotel would you recommend in Managua? I prefer a 3 star Hotel (around $30 per night) which is close the Streetwalker action. And ofcourse the Hotel must chica-friendly!

Thanks!

Moondog, Oh man, it wasn't a fight - it was a "hey, let's punch the skinny gringo on top of that asshole" type of situation. If I could have gotten up, I would have ran!!! I'm tired of taking one for the team!

Hmm, cheap hotels, they are everywhere - all hotels are chica friendly too - as long as you are respectful and low-about it. Just have 100 cordobas ready if doordood(tm) says anything - but I've never, ever had a problem. $30.00? King's Palace on right in the heart of the action might be around that price. I stay at a EXTREMELY nice bed and breakfast - better than the Intercon. Super cool staff, stately, huge suite, breakfast, a beautiful couryard, $70.00.

Could you let us know about this bed and breakfast?

Also contact info.

Enricos

http://www.hostalreal.com.ni/losrobles/

Oh, lordsie, here we go again. A gringo in love with a particular latin american city.

Tip of the hat to Defconsul for an adventurous story, a thrilling writing-style, and tips galore. Be aware, though, not everyone can do what he did. Dare I say it, only a few gringos could get away with what he did, assuming Señor D. is a gringo and does not look hispanic.

Yes, $80 for a full bottle of liquor, 3 hours, a group of men in a back room with their girls is possible. I remember seeing anywhere from two to six local guys in pricey casual clothes get up from their table in a Managua strip club with drinks in hand and leave for a back room with their hostesses on their arms. An amigo of an amigo of a local guy told me about the back room scene, but Defconsul's post is the first web-monger confirmation of it that I have read.

King's Palace is an excellent hotel recommendation for location and the price about three years ago was around $50. I think I gave the price for it and other hotels in my Managua report. But, and there is a but for the King's Palace, I met two different hotel staff at different times there. One staff indicated that bringing a guest back to my room late at night for a little gratuity if he is on duty was no problem. Another staff said, no way, josé, this is a respectable hotel that only happens to be next door to a strip club which has a name similar to ours. Of course, we can do the old ploy of paying for a doble, which in some countries, means you are paying for two people. Oh, my friend will be arriving on a different flight tonight or tomorrow night.

I agree that there are sweet girls in Managua and many of those girls fit my own preference for preferred physical types. But, it is a relatively small city and finding a willing girl with the desirable preferences can be a long search. Similarly, I am not sure about the bellezas, but they are definitely a starting point in searching for afternoon action.

Naturally, I defer to the members who are residents or frequent visitors of a city and their data on action. They do have special knowledge and bear a certain I-know-what-is-going-on-here attitude that make the locals treat them as one of their own. For us once-in-a-long-while visitors, we should tone down our expectation and turn up our reception to cum-si-cum-sa.

Mil gracias, Defconsul.

You soy gringo, pero hablar Nicaraguense como Chiguin ;-> Thanks for the thumbs-up excat! It's really cool when it's coming from a living legend like you!

Defconsul.

There is no such word as "nico" - it does NOT exist. A man is a Nica and a woman is a Nica. My son is a Nica, so I should know.

Call someone a Nico and they probably would do nothing because it has no meaning whatsoever.