When I landed in BKK with ~ 48 hours to go before my trip home after 5 weeks in Asia, I was pretty depressed over the clear drip coming from my cock that I’d noticed on the plane ride. I knew that a trip to the pharmacy was in my future and that I’d be out of action for at a MINIMUM of 24 hours and not even able to booze it up to entertain myself. The end of my trip was looking bleak.

It got a lot MORE bleak when I hit the ATM at the airport and it limited me to less than a $200 withdrawal for supposed insufficient funds. While I hadn’t kept an eye on the running total since I had left for the Philippines, I knew I had PLENTY of money to finish my trip when I had left two weeks before, and there had been no unexpected budget breakers while in the PI. Something seemed extremely weird about this, but I got very worried about having two days left in BKK and still needing money to get home with only 200 bucks to make it with.

Already starting to panic a bit about money after the ATM incident, I figured that I had better start economizing to the exTREME at that point, and spending 200 baht on a taxi from the airport to Dynasty didn’t seem like something a thrifty person would do. I had heard about the airport buses, but didn’t really know anything about them. But I did see a sign for a TRAIN and figured I’d at least go see what that was about. I had to ask directions a couple of times, but finally found the ramp that took me out of the airport and over the access roads where there was indeed a train station with a bunch of people lined up and waiting.

I can’t remember how much the train cost now, but it was way less than a dollar. I was pretty blown away by the price, but all I could find out about where the train WENT was that it was supposed to go to ‘Bangkok’. Still waaay over-influenced by the cheap price, I decided I’d just jump on (with all my luggage!) and see where it took me.

This was not at all the SMARTEST travel decision I have ever made, as the train was non-air-con (had holes cut out of the walls for paneless ‘windows’), stopped at least a dozen times, was pretty PACKED and probably never went more than 25 mph the entire time I was on it. But it did end up delivering me to a pretty large train station in BKK in just over an hour, though I was soaked to the skin with sweat by the time I got there.

Much of my cost savings was quickly swallowed up by the ensuing taxi ride, and it ended up costing me 60 baht to get to the Sukhumvit area even after I found a taxi willing to use its meter. I ended up saving ~100 baht over a taxi ride, but it was soooo not worth it. Next time I’ll have the scoop on the airport buses just in case.

With all the time to worry about finances on my ride into BKK, I actually decided to head to the Royal Asia Lodge on Soi 8 instead of Dynasty because I figured I could save 200 baht per night on a room, and it looked like every dollar was going to count over the rest of this week. But after going what seemed like a looong way down Soi 8 in the taxi before we finally found the place and after seeing the rooms and finding out that with taxes/fees the room was only about 80 baht cheaper than Dynasty, I declined to stay there and hopped in a taxi outside to take me to Soi 4 – which almost comPLETELY wiped out the savings from taking the train instead of the taxi at the airport. Ahh, the best laid cheapskate’s plans!!!

I checked in at Dynasty, then hit the pharmacy where the chick working asked about symptoms and told me to buy an injection of ceftriaxone and some cipro and not to drink for 48 hours while taking the meds. She had a severe giggle attack when I asked her if she’d like to inject me, though completely refusing. I ended up shoving the big needle in my ass myself.

Pretty depressed about spending the night in BKK with little to do – couldn’t drink or whoremonger – I ended up taking a friend of a friend to dinner and then heading to bed pretty early. Surprisingly I was able to sleep pretty well without any booze/pills, which is often difficult for me in Asia because I am STILL so damned GEEKED to be there. After 5 weeks of sleep deprivation, though, I think my body was happy for the rest.

The next day things seemed a lot better, though I was still pretty depressed about having to leave the next day and worried about money. I ended up heading to the malls and walking around. MBK in particular is still REALLY damned impressive to me. I ended up selling my POS cellphone that I’d had so much trouble with on this trip while I was there which promised to at least give me taxi money home if all else ran out. I’d spent more than 60 dollars on repairs and stuff like batteries and chrgers for this phone in the month previous, which was more than I PAID FOR THE DAMNED THING originally, and I figured getting some of that money back might help me out a lot more than that cheap unreliable phone would in the future anyway.

For those thinking about heading to Asia and getting a cellphone for while you’re there, this is not a bad way to go in buying a used phone and then selling it back when you leave. Assuming you don’t get reamed for repairs and new batteries and shit,of course.

Still puzzled about the ‘insufficient funds’ message at the ATM, I decided I’d check for a balance inquiry, and lo and behold, found all the extra money that had been ‘missing’ the previous day. Whew! At least now the weight of poverty was removed and I didn’t have to worry about being an ULTRA-cheapskate!

Happy about this little ‘windfall’, I got even happier upon returning to the hotel as I noticed that my drip had apparently cleared up, which seemed to ME to make things OK for some covered action on my last night in town. And I figured that since the meds had already worked, I could drink too (BIG Mistake. The drip came BACK and was MUCH harder to get rid of the second time around. But you live and learn...) At the time it was PARTY TIME!

I did several of my favorite things to do in Bangkok that day, including eating at Bus Stop and watching the late afternoon parade down Soi 4 from a seat at Morning Night. While Bangkok tends to be expensive for me, I really do enjoy my time there, and I was determined to have fun on my last night in town before having to return to the REAL world.

The evening’s entertainment ended up being provided by a pair from the Soi 7 biergarten, a place I had gone to for the first time on this trip. It’s full of freelancers, and depending on the time/day there can be many attractive targets among the usual TROLLS. On that night it didn’t take more than 5 minutes of sitting at the bar to be approached by two decent looking girls laying it on pretty thick about how ‘hansum’ I am. I waited for the hard sell to buy them a drink or something, but it never came, and after a good 10 minutes of joking around with them and getting shoulder massages and my brow wiped of sweat, I decided to conduct a full interview while having them split a beer. They ate up the ‘commitment’ and then did their best to convince me that taking the two of them back to my room would be a smart and thrifty decision.

And in the room they comPLETELY delivered. They posed for a few pics together, but like most Thai girls that work in tandem, were clearly not into each other. With the help of vitamin V I even managed to stay aloft amidst condom changes, one of my LEAST favorite things about multiple girl sessions, though in my ‘condition’ I was pretty happy to wear one this time around.

We took a little nap after round one, then had a DAMNED lively session for the second go-round, after which I told the girls that I had a flight in the morning and needed to get some sleep. I had arranged a deal previously about cutting their comps if THEY had decided to take off after short time, but ended up giving each the full amount (1K baht) plus 100 baht tip after only a few hours in the room when it was my decision to cut them loose. Hey, I really COULDN’T take that baht with me, anyway!

My trip home the next day was about as painless as possible. Still apparently exhausted after 5 weeks in Asia, I slept about 90% of the plane ride home, something that is NEVER possible on the plane ride coming TO Asia because of all the excitement over the impending trip. I also ended up clearing up some missed mileage credit on China Air while on the layover in Taipei and ended up getting gold status shortly after I returned home plus a huge windfall of frequent flyer miles when they apparently raised their award level requirements.

All told on this trip I spent well over $5,000, some of which was financed, which means I’m STILL paying for some of it. But while I had always had an aMAZING time in Asia before on all my previous trips, 5 WEEKS of EXCESS this time still seems to me to be inCREDIBLE. There were too many good times to count, but several BAD TIMES too and still lots of stuff I’d love to change if I could, like the whole cherry girl situation and treating a few bargirls uncharacteristically like garbage.

I also had the good fortune to spend much of my trip with some of my best friends and made several new friends along the way. It’s KILLING ME not to be at the monger-fest in AC this weekend, as good times spent with good friends turn into incredible memories. But NOOO, I’m stuck here making the big bucks (hahaha!).

I’m afraid that after this last trip that a ‘mere’ 2 weeks is going to seem like it will FLY by and suffer by comparison to the long, leisurely trip last summer. But after a full 6 months of suffering from not being in Asia – you really DO get depressed knowing you’re ‘stuck’ in the real world instead of being there -- I think that I will still manage to have a decent time in late March when I FINALLY get to head back. The good news is that it shouldn’t take me nearly as long to write a trip report!

I hope you liked this one.

Photos: Soi 7 Biergarten Duo 239 240 241 242 243 244 246 247 248 249 250

Nice writing, Porker. I have never given myself an injection, and I think I would be alright as long as I didnt hit a bone or something. Did ya learn your lesson about letting the meds take their course before resuming the R&R? I learned that lesson in Hawaii while fighing a bout of the dick drip. I didnt drink too soon, I just partied down and didnt let my body rest. You're right, the drip not only returned but took a WEEK to dispense with. Talk about screwing up a week. I spent a grand on a nice hotel just to sit there and watch the damned TV. LOL!

Of course, I found a chica to nurse me. When I approached her, she thought I wanted a hooker, and told me no. I explained to her what was up, and at first didnt believe me (I have that kind of face) but the prescription and meds were proof enough. While I really didnt want to screw (no, really) while I was sick, we did exchange bodily fuids in every other way. Why do some chicas play coy like theyre innocent when you make the deal?

"For those thinking about heading to Asia and getting a cellphone for while you’re there, this is not a bad way to go in buying a used phone and then selling it back when you leave. Assuming you don’t get reamed for repairs and new batteries and shit,of course."

If I remember correctly, you didn't drop a HUGE amount for that phone, and it still got you through a few trips with minimal problems. If you figure how much you spent on that phone TOTAL it's probably around $100US...?

Something to think about - buy a new cell phone at the beginning of this new trip and avoid those issues in the future. If you bought a new phone it would, most likely, last longer and have fewer reliability issues. View the difference like taking the train vs. the taxi. Did you really gain anything or were you just penny wise and pound foolish?

As always, great writing. Looking forward to your next report. I'm hoping you'll be able to finish it in under 3 months!! Of course, this is the guy that's a year behind on his TRs so I shouldn't be pointing any fingers...

E

Porker: So many adventures and so many chapters. This report, in all of its installments, was on the best and most candid I've read on the board. Thanks, and well done. Dripper.

Additional photos integrated into post above