Bwana Dik (Slight Return)
(10 points to the 1st person who gets the allusion here)

Yes, I know. I said I was gone for good. But a warped mind is a terrible thing to waste. Besides, I am coming upon information that is actually NEW to the CH board, not just a rehash of what I have (or someone else has) said before, nor another sordid tale detailing how many garotas I fucked over an incredibly brief period, and which orifices I stuck it in with each of them (yawn). So, apologies in advance if you are looking for some photos to jerk off to or some cheesy prose (“I shoved my throbbing salami into her juicy, quivering cunt”) to titillate your baser senses. Just the facts, Jack.

I’m spending some quality time down south in Porto Alegre, the capitol of Rio Grande do Sul, the southernmost state in Brazil. Porto Alegre is the “land of gauchos” and, more importantly, home to many stunning gauchas. More on the ladies soon.

I plan on exploring a variety of P4P settings, and will write about them in installments. Just to orient my fellow putanheiros to the general scene here, the P4P options come in several flavors. Best known are the boates, such as Gruta Azul and Carmen’s. These places are not unlike the boates in Rio, but with on-site suites. Less well known are some of the saunas around town, which function much like the termas of Rio, but have their differences as well. A third class of P4P settings is the “Drink Bars,” which are like the “whiskerias” you’ll find in some places in Brasil. The city is also full of prives, where you’ll find between 2 and 10 girls working out of a small set of rooms. Finally, there are numerous escort services and plenty of independents that advertise their services and are easy to locate. There are places to find street hookers as well, but since I prefer not to do that research for you, you’ll have to find that information on your own.

So, sit back and relax. Over the next few months I’ll try to provide a fairly comprehensive look at the scene here. I’ll begin (in the next few days) with a post about Sauna Karan’dache.

Great!

Do some comprehensive research. Maybe it will entice me to come over and check it out, after 5 years of absence from PA.

Somehow I was not too impressed about the PA mongering scene, but that was an impression from a 3 day visit.


I think Curitiba would attract me more, or Florianopolis. Let me know when you write a guide to these cities.


It seems that PA and Curitiba have one thing in common: more honesty and less corrupt police. The reason why there are no on-site back rooms in Rio is judges and police acting up and selectively enforcing some penal code laws to extort some more money.

Bwana_Dik,

Glad to hear from you buddy. Good to know things are going well in your latest journey. PM me if you'd like sometime or e-mail me at cuba_nut@yahoo.com.

I must confess that the next time I went back to 4X4 I took your Blonde haired braces girl. She really is sweet and wonderful. One of the best terma performances I had there.

Porto Alegre sounds great and I'm sure you will make it to most of it's nooks and crannies. We mongers are so lucky to have a scout like yourself doing intense exploring. I will definately visit Porto Alegre on my next trip to Brazil. I hope to see you there.

I'll be in Medellin Colombia in two weeks. I will try to report any good findings as well.


Cheers,


Cubanut

Have fun on your mission; I have met a few Brazilians from that area, that have moved up here to the states. One of the things that I have noticed about them is that they understand and speak spanish.

RG.

BS,
I'll do my best. Doing this research is a dirty job and a terrible burden, but I'll do it because I know my fellow putanheiros are out there doing research in exotic places for no reward other than enhancing the well-being of us all.

Cubanut,
Have fun in Medellin. Do you ever stay home and work? I'll email you sometime soon. I'm leaving in a few minutes for 3 days in NY (groan).

BTW, I knew you'd sessioned with my little spinner. I talk with her every few days, and she rats out all the CH guys to me (not that I care). She is a sweetie.

Roadglide,
Almost all speak Spanish and/or Portañol. Almost none speak English. This is a place where those high school and college Spanish courses come in very handy.

Até depois,
Bwana

Bwana keep an eye out for "Hemp's Dream Blond" ok buddy. Enjoy yourself down there my friend and I look forward to your posts. - Hemp

Good to have you (even slightly) back. If you ignore the slights and your POA guide is half as good as your Rio guide, then there's another masterpiece in the making.

(Message edited by Ardgneas on March 06, 2005)

Bwana,

I am glad to see you back. I have not had the chance to meet you and just missed you in Rio recently. I am fairly new to the board and just wanted to say, Thank You for the Guide to Rio. It was insightful, accurate and a pleasure to read. For those of us who are just making our first trek to paradise, it was a profoundly valuable tool.

Thanks from the Newbies!

Really hope to bump into you sometime.

Valt

Hey Bwana_Dik,

Glad you're back to posting, I really enjoyed meeting you in Rio. I hope I can get down to POA (because it's on my "re-visit" list) while you're still there.

The various women I met in POA (and in Rio and LA from POA) had a sweetness about them, I'm wondering if you think the same thing after being there a while. Thanks for doing the tough work and sharing the results.

Hemp--I went to POA to find MY perfect blonde, and was disappointed that there weren't NEARLY as many blondes as I expected. Of course, maybe you could go and find them for us.

spinner....blonde....braces...4*4???

Her teeth have been straight ever since I've known her. I think the braces are just for effect. But it works.

Glad you are back at work Bwana. We need your input.

DeeG

Slight Return - Jimi Hendrix, Electric Ladyland, Voodoo Child. I'm not sure what that has to do with you but it's nice to see your name again as a contributor.

I didn't understand Tight_fit's post til I backed up and reread Bwana_Dik's first few words:

Bwana Dik (Slight Return)
(10 points to the 1st person who gets the allusion here)

So does Tight_fit win the 10 points? I myself would have thought Highway Chile (Jimi Hendrix-Are You Experienced album) would have been just as appropriate with all the traveling you've been doing.


Diversity,

There's a little Blonde spinner of a gal at the Terma 4X4 in Rio that wears braces. She's cute as a button and does a nice little dance routine. Sometimes does a lesbian team dance as well. My favorite move is when she hops atop one of the lounge tables then, from a straight up position, she suddenly plops herself straight down to a sitting position. Draws big cheers (as well as when she's going down on another garota).

I love gals with braces.




Cubanut

cubanut...nice pic of the eyes.......i will check her out this week.

BwanaDik, glad to have finally met you! I'm just sorry we never had a chance to talk travels. (By the way, the name of the surf island was Nias.)

If you're using Word for your Porto Alegre guide, send me an e-mail soon. I can set you up a template that will make your task much easier! Then, because I will no doubt visit that part of Brazil some day, I'll convert your guide into HTML for PDA's.

Hemp,
I've seen many a dream blonde already, just wandering the streets and shopping malls. And classes start in a week at the university; I've been assured by a colleague there that I will see some incredible eye candy. And I picked up a cute blonde med student who had just arrived in town from Santa Catarina who was taking the same city bus tour as I. We had dinner and a pleasant post-dinner exercise session.

Ardgneas, Valterreekian and Hunterman,
Thanks for the good wishes. It was good seeing H-Man in Rio, and look forward to meeting Valderreekian another time. Rio is something no one can do just once.

Diversity,
That pic isn't of our little spinner. But she's a cutie and impossible to miss.

DeeG,
I think you're right. I've never detected the need for the braces, but the "cute factor" is way up there.

Tightfit,
10 points--Voodoo Child (Slight Return) from Electric Ladyland. It has nothing to do with me other than the post represents a "slight return" from my self-imposed exile from CH, and I happen to be a huge JH fan.

Cubanut,
Highway Chile was not actually on the original "Are You Experienced" album, which I bought when it came out on vinyl and blame in large part for my downfall into hedonism, etc. It was a single that eventually appeared on the "Smash Hits" compilation, a few other compilations, and later was added to the remastered version of the AYE CD. Cool song, but not the correct allusion.

Wombat88,
I'll take you up on your offer. I've been trying to get away from Word (I detest all things Microsoft) and have been using Apple's very cool new wordprocessor, but will probably use Word for this. Do you still have my email address?

Bwana "Your My Hero". - Have fun in PA. - Hemp

I thought Gruta Azul was closed.

Definitely not closed. I don't think it ever has been closed, Mitch. Not that it's a favorite of mine, but it's still considered one of the two best boates in town.

Interestingly, a girl I sessioned with at one of the saunas works at Gruta Azul many evenings. I paid 100 reais for an hour, but she gets 250 when working at GA.

I got into Porto Alegre yesterday and I really love the place. Nice and quiet and cheap as hell, I would say prices on just about everything are at least 30-40% lower than in Rio. There are some seriously good looking women here, not all are blondes but all are white. The city reminds me a little of Northern Italy and after six days in Rio, it's a great change of pace.

Glad you're enjoying POA, yeah it's definitely got the "feel" of a medium-sized medeterranean city - Granada or Torino, for instance. Go eat a churrasco at Barranco for me, willya? ;-)

BS

Bwana,

Good seeing you again in January. I have always wonder what the scene is like in PO. Your report is starting to peak my interest in going to PO sometime in the future. Thanks

BS,

I hit Na Brasa the first night in town, by far the best churrasco I've been to in Brasil.

Yes, this is serious beef country, and the Gauchos take their churrasco far more seriously than do the Cariocas.

Badseed,
I'll definitely dine at Barranco at least a few times. Let me know if you'll be down this direction.

Dino,
Good seeing you in Rio as well. I'll write more about Porto Alegre as a city sometime in the near future. I really love the city as a place to reside.

Cat,
Sorry we couldn't hook up this time. Come back some time; it really is a terrific place, and I know some really nice bars and restaurants around Moinhos.

Yes, churrasco is a religion in Rio Grande do Sul - after all , it was invented there. Gauchos think that what they call "churrasco" in the rest of Brasil is sacrilege. Not to get into too much gory detail, but real churrasco has only three ingredients - BEEF, coarse salt, and charcoal fire - anything else is bullshit.