The plan this trip was also to introduce some friends to new destinations in Asia, including Woodway, my amigo from Monterrey adventures, who had never been to Asia before. He, along with Unspongebob and Phoenixguy from clubhombre, were going to make up a trifecta of ‘cherry boys’ when we headed to Angeles City in the Philippines during the second week of our trip. Phoenixguy coined the term “Porker and the Cherry Boys”, and I thought that was pretty funny. The plan was to spend several nights in Thailand over two weeks between trips for 4 nights in Batam Indonesia and 5 nights in Angeles City in the Philippines.
But as accustomed as I’ve grown to the long journey to Asia by now, proving once AGAIN on this trip that I am a hardheaded moron who doesn’t learn from past mistakes, I took another long-ass bus trip from my home in Mexico to the U.S. before starting this latest trip to Asia. In theory it always sounds good, as the bus trips are overnights and it can save me quite a bit of cash, but sleeping on the long busrides and the long plane trip to Asia is never particularly restful for me, and it REALLY catches up with me once I arrive. I had a very low energy level this entire trip, and it probably stems from already being sleep-deprived upon arrival in SEA. That I developed a WICKED cough halfway into the trip certainly didn’t help.
I made plans to meet up with Epimetheus for a bit once I arrived in So Cal and before heading to the airport to check in for my China Air flight. I was due to meet my Asia cherry boy amigo Woodway at the check-in gate, but hooking up with Epi earlier than expected led to us picking up Woodway and heading out for dinner prior to check-in. I had spent the afternoon with old high school buddies, and after several beers and the above-mentioned lack of sleep, I remember feeling quite ‘punchy’ that evening. It was good to see Epi, though, and Woodway’s enthusiasm for the upcoming trip was very refreshing. It didn’t seem all THAT long ago when I was taking MY first trip. I was a little nervous, though, about what kind of tour guide I’d be. Luckily Woodway (and later USB and Phxguy) was quite a low-maintenance newbie so I didn’t have to hold his hand through things very often.
After dinner we headed straight for check-in, and arriving early was definitely a good idea as the pre-check-in luggage inspection area was nearly empty rather than the usual ZOO as people arrive for the numerous red-eye flights to Asia that start heading out after 11:30 PM. I did my damndest to beg and plead with the check-in agent for an upgrade traveling to Taipei, but she kept insisting with a smile that she couldn’t do it. I laid it on as thick as possible, mentioning that it was actually my BIRTHDAY (true), but she seemed to think flying on my birthday was more PATHETIC than anything else! She did give Woodway priority luggage check-in, though, and mentioned that we could ‘ask at the door’ of the China Air lounge if he could accompany me in. Luckily they said OK, and we killed an hour or so having a beer upstairs before it came time for boarding. The China Airlines lounge at LAX is certainly nothing to write home about, but free drinks before takeoff certainly didn’t suck!
We ended up having to be bused out to the plane, something that had never happened to me before at LAX, and something I could really do without. Luckily the plane was only about 70% full, so we both got an empty seat next to us which made stretching out a lot easier. The always attractive flight chicks (including one TINY cutie that had a habit of KNEELING in front of passengers while flashing 100 watt smiles!) came around with slippers this time in addition to the headphones, and though I thought it a little odd, it was a nice touch. Soon enough we were in the air, and this trip seemed to be the most painless flight to Asia yet. I was dozing by the middle of the first movie, and woke up for good an hour before they turned the lights on to serve breakfast. We had caught a bit of a break in that the airline had changed plans to stop in Anchorage on the way to Taipei. THAT would have REALLY sucked!
We ended up with a nearly 4 hour layover in TPE before our flight to Bangkok, but Woodway wasn’t as lucky this time as far as getting into the China Air lounge, as I was told they were ‘full’ when we asked at the door. It kind of pissed me off that they lied to me about this, a ‘rules are rules’ response would have been much better received, but I drowned my sorrows in Jack and coke and played around on the internet pc’s to pass the time. THIS lounge WAS pretty damned sweet, and I would have NO qualms over a layover in Taipei with this place to keep me occupied. There was food too, an endless supply of dumplings being brought out and there was a kitchen preparing noodle dishes to order.
When it came time to board the (delayed a half hour due to fog) plane for BKK, I looked at my boarding pass for the first time and realized that I had a REALLY low row number. Hmmm, could that mean what I thought it did? Sure enough, I was headed upstairs into the PIMP seats! The check-in chick at LAX had hooked me up after all, though hadn’t really given me what I wanted. Epi would explain to me that upgrades are a lot easier to come by on the inter-Asia flights, and after the great lounge experience and now THIS, I may be turning into China Air’s biggest fan!
The BAD news was, though, that with the individual entertainment system in either business or first class (not sure if they had 2 levels of service or 3 on this 747 flight), I didn’t get ANY sleep on the flight to BKK as I planned. Instead I watched some DAMNED bad films, Bridget Jones 2, which I was REALLY looking forward to seeing for the Thailand scenes, and some HORRIBLE Woody Harrelson/Salma Hayek caper film. I would have been SOOOO much better off sleeping, but between playing with that damned remote (that I couldn’t for the LIFE of me get to give me the menus in English!) and playing with the automatic seat recline, I didn’t even close my eyes for a minute. The meal was a coach meal, btw, which was disappointing. On the return flight to TPE we got a full-on 7 course FEAST!
Landing in BKK and clearing immigration was completely painless, and with priority luggage check-in, our bags had been pulled off the rack and were waiting for us as we got to baggage claim. Sweet! We hit the ATM at the airport (9900 baht, baby!!!) and then headed for the taxi queue to take us to Sukhumvit and Dynasty Inn.
I have had Dynasty ask for a credit card to hold a room for me before, but as we were arriving in early afternoon this trip, that wasn’t a problem, and our rooms were ready immediately on arrival. I threw my documents and wallet in the lobby safety box, and we headed to our rooms in the new wing in the very back to get settled in. We were only due to spend one night in Bangkok before heading to Pattaya the next day, and then flying to Singapore to go to Batam, Indonesia the day after that.
My room at Dynasty was one of their smallest ones, a corner room on a low floor. Woodway’s room a floor above was a good 20% bigger. But for 1090 baht, Dynasty’s fine as far as I’m concerned as the AC cranks, the room is clean, and the location cannot POSSIBLY be beat. I’ve never seen the roaches Hunterman says he saw there, but mosquitoes are sometimes a different story.
Kind of setting the non-mongering tone of the day for me, our first order of business was to acquire cellphones, and we headed to Sukhumvit and skytrain in order to get there, as I didn’t want to deal with possible traffic on the way to MBK mall. Plus it’s always nice to get the cherry boy on skytrain sooner rather than later. We stumbled around the HUGE MBK for awhile until we found the floor with all the cellphone shops, and I was a little disappointed that prices were the same everyplace we went, and the prices seemed high to me compared to the last time I had been shopping for used cellphones in Angeles City two years earlier. Any new phone seemed to be at least 3000 baht, plus I needed a SIM card and airtime.
I decided I’d take my chances with a used Nokia 3310 again, and fortunately for 2100 baht I got a phone in excellent working condition that I didn’t have a SINGLE problem with my entire trip (well, except for NOW, I can’t get the damned thing open to put my PI SIM back in and get any of the info from it!). The last time I had bought a used phone in AC, the battery crapped out on the JEEP RIDE HOME and the charger BLEW UP!
With communicators acquired, we headed back to Nana to get some lunch and head out to look for pooying. I contacted Phoenixguy who had arrived a day before us, and he stopped by Bus Stop Beer Bar where we were having lunch to meet up with us briefly with his BKK ball and chain in tow. Phxguy was a super dude, and we’d end up spending a lot of time together in both Pattaya and AC the next day and a little later in the trip.
Gotta say once again how much I LOVE Bus Stop, and this trip I had the fish and chips several times and the cheeseburger was GREAT too. I also ran into A, one of my first girls ever in Bangkok, and she was pretty feisty with me instead of being happy to see me like I was to see her. Oh well, if they ALL fell in love then Thailand would be just like AC, right?
After lunch we headed to the beer bars on Soi 4, the first stop being Big Dogs at the mouth of Nana Plaza so we could indulge in one of my all-time favorite activities, drinking some beer in the late afternoon and watching the NEP workers stroll into work for the evening. I don’t remember seeing as much eye candy as usual this time, but that may be because Morning Night is a superior girl-watching location, being right on Soi 4. I DO remember seeing a whole bunch of ladyboys passing, and it was funny pointing them out to Woodway. It seemed that the more attractive the creature was, the better the chance of it being a GUY! A couple were indeed very stunning, but in the light of day I didn’t really see many that left me ‘confused’.
Woodway got approached by several girls while I was more interested in watching the traffic passing by the rail. I did have a half-hearted conversation with a nearby girl with a NICE rack, but when she asked for 2K for short time on top of a 600 baht barfine, I was glad that I didn’t even buy her a drink despite her asking several times. I realize the girls are just trying to maximize their cashflow, but I think the NORMAL prices are high ENOUGH. When they quote HIGH severe sticker shock sets in.
Unfortunately two beers in the afternoon heat had me DRAGGING, and while I felt bad about leaving Woodway on his own, I needed a NAP. I did point him in the direction of Morning Night and tried to explain pricing for a Soi 4 beer bar (1000-1200 ST plus the expensive barfine should get the deal done) and told him I’d call him in a few hours after I’d passed out for awhile.
I slept for more than three hours, and it was indeed refreshing, but probably not for the best long term as it was tough to get to sleep later that night. When I called Woodway he was in his room having finished a ST from Morning Night, which he reported was a pretty good experience.
We headed out to Nana Plaza after 10 PM, and hit Mandarin on the second floor first. Mandarin seemed to be a hollow shell of the place I remembered from two years previous (I LOVED looking up at bare crotches in the days when they could get away with no panties!), but there were a few lookers in there. Not enough to keep us interested for very long, though, and I encouraged Woodway to drink quickly so we could move on.
G-spot was next up, and that place had a LOT more dancers who seemed a lot more interested in getting our attention. I could tell Woodway was enjoying the NEP scene, but I was excited to introduce him the the Walking Street go gos in Pattaya the next night for some REAL eye candy. Perhaps more importantly, some NAKED eye candy!
Eventually we made it upstairs again to Dave the Rave’s bar Hollywood Strip. I was aware of Dave’s recent flurry of posts on CH, but not fully aware of the storm he generated with some comments about Japanese. I asked a waitress if he was around, and soon enough he came over and was an extremely gracious host and very talkative and lively and enthusiastic about the NEP scene and the girls in his bar. He also introduced us to an American ex-pat friend, and both seemed to be great guys and extremely helpful.
Dave encouraged me to talk with one of his more well-endowed girls, and she was indeed barfineable in my book. But after she headed back onstage she pretty much sealed the deal against any thoughts of a barfine by squirting a whole bunch of tears! They looked like crocodile tears to me, but if that’s how she usually avoids barfines, good for her!
Woodway had a couple of girls hit him up for drinks, but didn’t seem overwhelmed by his options. After several drinks with Dave and his amigo the lights came on just as things were starting to get fun, and it was time to hit the bricks. Gotta love those 1 AM closing times in Bangkok…
For any board member passing through Bangkok, I think you’d really enjoy meeting up with Dave the Rave. He seems almost TOO nice and his enthusiasm for the Thai scene is infectious. He did his best to make sure we felt at home and was very quick with recommendations for places to go in both BKK and Pattaya. Dave, thanks for the hospitality, and sorry we never had a chance to make it back on the later legs of our trip.
With NEP and all the Nana area bars closed, there really isn’t much of an alternative late at night in Bangkok besides hitting the streets and looking for talent there. Woodway and I headed for the Nana Hotel parking lot to watch the late night parade, and there were indeed FAR more people there than one would ever expect to see in some random location late at night anywhere in the world. Well, and then there was the small ELEPHANT that was being led around the parking lot. You certainly don’t see THAT everyday in bumblefuck North America!!!
The crowd got even larger at 2 AM as apparently Angel’s disco is now closing later than other places, but honestly, I wasn’t very motivated to try my luck with the parking lot girls my first night in town and taking my chances on the first lay of my trip being a lame one. We headed inside to Nana Hotel coffee shop for a late dinner, then hit the internet for awhile down Soi 4 before heading to bed alone.
The 1 AM closing time at NEP really ended up sucking on several evenings on this trip, but none worse than the first night. Just as I was starting to get a buzz going and getting interested in hooking up with a girl the rug was pulled out from under me, and I am not at all a fan of playing the Nana parking lot game, as I think the dynamic is severely flawed if you’re looking for ANY sort of GFE encounter. I chose to save my baht and pent up ENERGY for the trip to Pattaya the next day despite the fact that I felt more than a little lame not getting laid on my first night in Asia. But while I’m still a moron about many things, one of the things I MAY be getting smarter about is not forcing things if the vibe isn’t right. There certainly would be plenty of better opportunities to get laid on the remaining 2 weeks of this trip!
I wasn’t extremely tired after having a nap earlier that evening, and as I semingly always do, I woke up early after my first night in Thailand. I ended up getting a message from Phoenixguy that he was up as well and headed to the Nana Coffee shop for breakfast, so I joined him there. The breakfast buffet at Nana Hotel is decent – both farang-style breakfast food and a couple Thai dishes, not sure if it’s included in the price of the room or not. If so, that’s a pretty good deal. For us I think it cost 150 baht, which ain’t the cheapest grub in the world, but not much to complain about either.
Phxguy had decided that he wanted to head down to Pattaya that day as well, and after some discussion as to whether we should all take the Dynasty shuttle down, we decided to share a taxi instead, which turned out to be a good idea. I wasn’t sure what the exact cost should be, but I did know that the 1700 baht Dynasty listed didn’t sound good at all! I figured I’d interview a couple drivers passing down Soi 4 to see if any wanted to make the trip a little later that morning.
After coming out of Melody U.K. across from Dynasty and saying hi to someone for a friend, I got a little freaked out when I ended up directly in front of a taxi driver I’d had a scary incident with two years before – a guy whose door I caused to get smashed up because I tried to get in on the wrong side of the cab. He immediately said “Hey, you remember me?”, and I got a little nervous that he was gonna want some PAYBACK! But he was quickly disarming with many smiles and said the incident had ended up being OK. He asked where I was going, and I told him Pattaya, and he quickly offered to take us.
We haggled for a good minute after he started at 1800 baht – he kept insisting ‘CANNOT’ and complaining about gas prices when I insisted on holding the line at my initial offer of 1K. But when he finally caved and agreed to 1000 baht plus money for the highway tolls I told him to meet us in an hour and we’d go.
I notified Woodway and Phxguy that we had a car booked and then headed out with Woodway to see if he could score some generic Cialis. After checking without luck at a couple of pharmacies close to Dynasty (all the while exclaiming to the sales chicks that ‘my friend need POWER!!!’), we took Phxguy’s advice and headed to the place on Sukhumvit close to the Marriott, and they indeed had ‘Apcalis’ for sale at the rate of 1000 baht for 4 pills. Woodway decided to buy one box as a trial, figuring he could load up on the stuff if it worked. I asked to buy a pill off him to see for myself too, and ended up popping one on the ride down to Pattaya, which had my stomach rumbling before we even made it there. Apcalis worked exTREMELY well for me as far as producing erections on demand, but it gave me a pretty bad acid stomach whenever I had gone several hours without eating.
When Phxguy messaged that he was at the Omni Suites down Soi 4 and ready to roll, we checked out of Dynasty and headed out to find a spanking new mid-sized Toyota ready to take us to Pattaya. My ‘friend’ the taxi driver said he had arranged for this other guy to take us, and as long as I confirmed the deal with the new driver it was OK with me. Better, actually, as this car was MUCH nicer and roomier than the metered taxi. We threw our stuff in the trunk, picked up Phxguy a couple hundred yards further down Soi 4, and we were off for a 90 minute ride to Pattaya, certainly a promising place for taking care of my so far neglected better half!
