Well, it's Tuesday and I'm back at work. I went to Bangkok, Singapore, Batam, and Pattaya this weekend. How was your weekend?

Summery. Went into work at 5:00am Friday. Left at 1:00 after working 8 hours. Had my bag packed in the car. Drive strait from work to LA, traffic sucked, almost missed my flight, ran to the gate, 2 airplanes, arrive Bangkok, 1:00am, taxi over to Sukhumvit, do a street lady and her friend for about an hour in sleazy 280 Baht short time hotel. Hangout till about 4:00am drinking (yes alcohol can still be found 7/24 in Bangkok) and talking with another nice street girl who had given up on her prospects for the night. I told her she was nice, she said "no. I bad woman. I sell pussy for money". I told her up front I have to go airport but she still liked talking with me and was hanging out more or less for the company so I felt sorry for her and all and I said that it did not make her bad woman because she sold pussy and then ok, we go ST maybe 30 minutes. We went to her "room", kicked out her friend who was sleeping there. (stupid me, I should have invited friend to stay but I had to get to the airport.) Half hour later I dress, no shower in the room, I'm sure one was down the hall somewhere but no time for shower.

Taxi back to airport. Check in and clear immigration with minuets to spare for a 7:00am AirAsia flight to Singapore. Bussed to the plane, Maybe I smelled bad but no one wanted to sit next to me so I got 3 seats. Stretched out and slept like a baby for 2 hours to Singapore. Taxi to Gaylang. Bang Sri Lankan woman short time. Then drink beer and eat unidentified food from open air restaurant that was really really good. Taxi to Harborfront. Catch ferry to Batam. Find 5 empty seats in the center section of the ferry and stretch out and sleep some more. Arrive at Batam. Taxi to hotel. Still had left over Indocash from last trip. Exchange more money. Buy a bunch of Valiums. Chance my luck with Ojeks. Spend the afternoon and evening alternating drinking and doing ST at various booking joints. 4 booking joints total. Several ladies terrorized by my enormous Bulie cock (or so they indicated). All were willing to go with no condom but of course I put on three for each lady just to be extra safe. End up in Pacific Disco about 2:00am. Take slutty freelancer for the rest of the night.

Next morning 5am, taxi back to Batam center and catch ferry to Singapore. Get more well needed sleep on ferry. Taxi to Airport, catch plane SIN-BKK and sleep my way back to Bangkok. Airport bus to Eden club. Take 2 ladies there. After two Eden ladies doing there best for 90 minutes I still no can finish. Batam ladies drained all there was. Eden ladies disappointed and one accuses me of being on Cocaine. She said "you fuck long time no finish I know you do cocaine". She says, "OK you do cocaine but why you no share". Then she warns me be careful with my cocaine in Pattaya because of a police crack down. She says she carries her cocaine in her pussy when she goes to Pattaya. Nice conversation and all but I no can finish because I fuck to much. No cocaine for me in Thailand.

Skytrain to Eikami. Airconditioned bus to Pattaya. Airconditioned bus becomes smoke filled non-airconditioned bus half way to Pattaya. Stop beside road. Everyone gets off and stands beside the road and smokes cigarettes and speaks Thai about the problem as water is running from under the bus. After 15 minutes the driver has everyone get back on. Apparently he decided it was OK to continue without the airconditioner. The temp that day was 100 deg. plus humid as hell and the windows don't open on an airconditioned bus. But I figured at least we were moving again and the driver, perhaps figuring the life of his engine was measured in minutes drove fast as hell the rest of the trip and passed cars on the shoulder so we actually made really good time to Pattaya. Baht bus to hotel. Over to Soi Post Office for a Blow job. Still no can finish but the lady gets an A+ and a nice tip for making an outstanding and time consuming effort. Off to beer bars. Molest ladies and drink beer. Then off to Soi 6 where I had a totally AWESOME session with a beautiful petite little spinner with one of the tightest pussies I ever encountered AND it has a textured inner lining which was MOST enjoyable. Plus she gave and awesome blow job and licked my asshole and all too. I briefly considered asking her to marry me. ;-) VERY happy with this lady. Left Soi 6 and got a nice Thai massage from a sturdy old lady. After being thoroughly pretzelated for a couple of hours I headed back to Soi Post Office for yet another BBBJ. I went to a different bar this time since I think they are afraid of me at the first bar since I take so long and no finish last time. No finish again this time either. Lady gave it a good effort but not as good as the earlier lady. Still I gave her a nice tip. By now it was 2:00am and places were cutting off the music and dimming the lights. I figured I should be thinking about overnight companionship. I have butterfly problems at beer bars all over that town but I was thinking Soi 7 should be safe. Being late and with the lights turned down it is hard to see your selection and I didn't want to waste time trying to shake off any ladies I wasn't interested in so when I saw a beautiful 40 kilo spinner I turned into the bar, grabbed her and bought her a drink right off the bat to kind of mark my territory and keep away the less interesting ladies. Then problems. Another very beautiful lady approaches and acts genuinely excited to see me. I'm thinking to myself this other lady seems to have a great attitude and seems to be working really hard to capture my attention. But I had already bought a drink for the first lady and molested her a good bit so while I considered that the second one may be better, the first one took a good molesting and was very beautiful so I decided no easy way to change ladies so I stuck with the first and brushed off the second one. She sulked away all hurt looking and than sat around on the other side of the bar and gave me dirty looks. Then it hit me. Doh! I know that lady. waaayy last year I took her for a night from another beer bar up on second road. At the time she was very beautiful, very sweet, and acted as if she had a major crush on me. As legitimate as any bar girl could. Really a nice girl. Happy memories. Way last year she had a photo taken of us together for her to keep and e-mailed me a couple of times which I never answered. And now I had just walked into her new bar, grabbed another lady in front of her and didn't even remember her face. I felt like kind of an asshole but oh well, to late now, back to the business at hand. New lady had just started working in Pattaya two weeks ago. I believe this because she did not speek a damn word of English. I needed her friend to translate to her the phrase "go hotel?" She did not understand "go hotel?", that's how little English she knew. While she may only have been in Pattaya for two weeks she has learned what to do somewhere. No innocent flower here. Awesome kisser and pretty much no limits during the in bar groping. Not a shy lady at all. No English skills at all but she had all the skills where it counted. Back to the hotel with my 40 kilo spinner. In the room she was even better than in the bar. No "me shy" lady. Affectionate as hell. Awesome kisser, expert BBBJ with no prompting. Very flexible and bent into just about any position you can think of. Allowed finger probing of her asshole but I could tell just by probing there was a size problem so I was nice and never tried to do her in the ass. She had no problem with no condom but of course I put on three condoms like I always do just to be safe. And after a good long awesome session which left me totally exhausted, without any prompting, she gave me a fairly competent and long massage. Totally awesome lady. Thai women are the best. No other come close. By now it was about 5:00am. I had to leave for the airport at 8:30am so we got a couple of hours of sleep. Nothing better than sleeping with an 40 kilo spinner cuddling up on you and she was just all hugs and cuddles. Next morning we did one more awesome morning session, showered and dressed, I packed. We had never discussed money (or anything else since she did not speak one single word of English) but she had rocked my world so I left a VERY NICE payment under her purse. As I was waiting for my taxi it was just one awesome GFE makeout session. The front desk finally called and said my taxi had arrived so we left. She gave me a big kiss at the front desk and then left like a pro. Odd lady that one. She somehow managed to combine mad pro skillzs AND seem sweet and innocent at the same time. I couldn't figure her out. Clearly she had allot of experience somewhere because she REALLY knew what to do in bed but the whole zero English skill thing made me believe she was not familiar with Farang. Best I can figure is maybe a Thai bf or two trained her well or she spent some time working in some venue where there were no foreigners around. Anyway, I couldn't have been happier.

My taxi was waiting out in front of the hotel. Kind of a Thai style "Fast and the Furious" copy. Lowered, with a big wing on the back, loud exhaust, turbo boost gauge, young Thai guy wearing sun glasses. I figured this should be an interesting ride to the airport. Actually the driver turned out to be quite likeable and we made record time to the airport ;-)

Checked in for my flight. Cleared immigration, drank allot of free booze in the lounge. My flight was delayed 30 minutes. Since EPI had been due to arrive on the same plane I was leaving on I suspect he must have been responsible for the delay. Perhaps they had to call in additional flight attendants to replace the ones EPI had 6 packed? My flight finally left and I was seated to a nice old Filipina lady who insisted on feeding me fresh green mango for the whole flight. I didn't even know Filipinas ate green Mangos. I thought that was an Mainland SEAsia thing. She seemed a little unfamiliar with airlines and brought her own inflight snacks which I'm sure would not pass agricultural inspection in Taipee. In any case no problem because she fed it all to me. One more flight, TPE-LAX. The jet stream gods were good to me and the flight was only a few minutes more than 11 hours. Record time TPE-LAX. I slept the whole way. Shuttle bus to the LAX parking lot B. On the freeway. Traffic not to bad for LA that time of day. Not good but moving and once I hit the Orange County tollway it was smooth sailing all the way. Drove strait to work without stopping at home. And here I am. That was my weekend. ;-) I'm very sore and tired.

(Message edited by I_am_Sancho on April 26, 2005)

Holy Shit that is like a two week vacation super condensed into a weekend. My humblest respects.

Do you have a big "S" on your T-Shirt Mr. Sancho?

Talk about cramming 10 pounds into a 5 pound sack! Geeeezzzzssee! You da man!

It's Wednesday now. Back at work again. The endorphins have worn off now and the pain has set in. I feel like someone beat my ass. Every muscle in my body is sore. It was worth it though.

IAS,

You r nuts dude, but my hat is off to ya. Despite certain grandious ambitions I may entertain time to time, I KNOW that I would of been a complete wreck physically with that kind of intin.

Hrmmm my weekend-- I limed and fertilized the grass, rode my motorcycle a few hundred miles, slept, and watched a few flicks. Oh ya and kept up to date on my fellow hombres

Man IAS, I just made that BKK trip over and back from Dallas, and those flights kicked my ass. And I was in Business Class. My hat is off to you, I could never pull that itinerary and have anything left for the ladies!

Like I said, I love IAS' reports....and this one blows me away.....I guess we have a new sport called speedmongering....wondering if anyone can top this...doubt it.

Sancho, my hats off to you. And you lived to tell us about it, Wow. Great report and worth emulating.

IAS - ***on knees bowing down paying homage*** "all hail the chief"

Holy crap, now that's a weekend! I'd also like to know, did you go business or first on the way over and back from LAX?

Economy all the way. But I'm gold with EVA so I get to select exit row seats in advance. I took a shitload of Ambien and pretty much slept most of the flights. To me LAX-TPE seems like about a 3 or 4 hour flight because I'm unconcious for the rest of it.

EVA economy ticket LAX-BKK RT was $539 plus tax and BKK-SIN on AirAsia was a 98 Baht plus tax promotional fare.

You know how you feel when you watch an athlete make that stupendous catch in the superbowl? Or when you see that super guard take someone off the dribble and then do a massive dunk?

You just shake your head and say to yourself "un-fucking-believable"...that is what I just did after reading this report.

Studly dude, studly.

I'm waiting for the super slo-mo replay so I can tell what the fuck he really did !!

Nice report I think ! LOL

Incredible. This makes weekender trips to TJ seem like a shot hop to the grocery store for a carton of milk. It's too bad you can be interviewed for some TV show about how the world is steadily shrinking and how mongers are at the forefront of trans oceanic travel in hours instead of days.

I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck I did myself.

I wrote that one really quick the day I returned while I was suposed to be working but was unable to be productive due to obvious imparement. I will probably not be able to write intelagably for several more days as I recover from that trip. I do have a very detailed trip report of my "weekend in Cambodia" last month in the works about 3/4's of the way done. It should make for better reading if I ever finish it.

It's too bad you can be interviewed for some TV show about how the world is steadily shrinking and how mongers are at the forefront of trans oceanic travel in hours instead of days.

In all seriousness, I do ocasionally stop and marvel at what an amazing world we live in today. The profoundness of being able to hop on a plane and fly half way around the world just for kicks on a weekend is not lost on me.

I soooooooooo want to try this.

I remember IAS talking about doing this when he bought the cheap EVA tickets, but I always wondered how the logistics of it would work. I've got to try it one day.

Thanks for the report IAS! Incredible story...

What the hell are you thinking? Holy hell I couldn't do all that in a weekend. I don't even like going over unless it is for at least two weeks. Your kind of silly Sancho. Just plain silly. Easy on the valiums this week. I do like your play by play report. Quite entertaining. Especially about the smoke filled air con bus. HAhaha.

The smoke filled non-airconditioned bus was perhaps the least entertaining part of the whole weekend ;-)

Yes I'll admit it was silly. Even sillier is that this was the second such weekend trip in a month. Last month it was Cambodia for the weekend. Report to follow, out of order. Next month I get to spend a whole week though. ;-)

Sancho, that was one hell of an amazing report (and I LOVE the writing style) on what sounds like an incredible adventure. Talk about testing the limits of human endurance and sexual performance! Were you really THAT horny to be doing all those non-finishing sessions or was it some sort of experiment?

If I lived on the west coast (lol, and had the money, of course!) I'd be tempted to do the weekend marathon thing too. I'd like to see somebody post a report on a mileage run like THIS on Flyertalk!!!

Thanks for writing up your adventure. You DO know how much we all appreciate pics, though, right?

Alas, my greatest curse in life is that I "no finish" after a few sessions. V and C can keep me hard for hours but many times me "no finish" after the first few sessions. Batam ladies and BJ ladies terrorized when I take to long but take it like troupers. Eden ladies disappointed. Soi 6 textured pussy lady...... No problem. Funny part is I even used a condom with her but it was empty afterworlds. Conclusion? It didn't break. She was so damn tight her pussy squeezed everything out the base of the condom.

Alas, as you may know I lost my good camera last Nov and still have not replaced it. I have a cheapo but couldn't find it before I left. I did not even take a camera this trip. This is particularly unfortunate since as a rule I hit better looking ladies this time and believe most would have tolerated pics. I'll make up for it next trip.

"I'd like to see somebody post a report on a mileage run like THIS on Flyertalk!!!"

Haha. Yea, that would be something. At times I wonder if all of us are perfectly normal people doing perfectly normal things or whether we are out on some seriously deviate limb.

Occassionally I will surf through trip reports on regular sites. You know, the type where obvious married couples write about their trips to such and such local or ask questions regarding some place they are thinking about visiting. That's when I get the feeling that maybe we really are living in a shadow world.

But it's fun and a lot more interesting than most of the places they talk about visiting.

Nice trip, IAS, truly amazing. You ARE Sancho. Care to share the name of the Soi 6 spinner, and the bar where she works (if you remember)?

At times I wonder if all of us are perfectly normal people doing perfectly normal things or whether we are out on some seriously deviate limb.

And the rest of the time you think what? Hey, I'm just living the fantasies that normal people would have if they were deviant sex fiends like me.

I like your style. Thanks for the report.