I've told this story hundreds of times in dozens of venues to scads of incredulous American men; they look at me as if I am recounting a tale out of Jules Verne, when, in fact I'm telling them of 33 hours in Bangkok.

I'm with a defense contractor, and convinced my client that I needed to conduct some training in Japan. It was approved, I booked the tix for me and my boss (a retired Army officer with no Asian experience) and since the firm flies us business class the tix were $8K apiece. But lo, if we made a three day layover in BKK, it knocked $2K off of each ticket. Go figure!

After a week in Nippon, we launched to BKK armed only with advice from BangkokBob and some military friends who had been to LOS. We landed a little after midnight Friday, blew through baggage claim, got some baht and met the driver we arranged from the Grand Hyatt Erawan. We pull up to this massive, empty hotel lobby, with hip-hop music pounding from the bar in the bottom, Spasso's. The girl at the desk told us that the bar would close in 15 minutes so we'd better hurry. We grabbed our keys, sent our bags up and RAN down to the bar, and HEAVEN.

My boss is 6ft4, and looks just like the actor who played the President on the first season of "24"; a chick was on him in minutes. The chick was with a coven of 5 or 6 knockouts, and I asked about one who looked like Thai J-Lo. She came over, my boss and his girl disappeared and I didn't see him again until the cab ride to te airport in 3 days.

"Benz-Girl" was sexy as all get out, spoke good English and was wearing a painted-on denim outfit, with a huge gold Benz emblem around her neck; and I was PARANOID. I had to ask if she was a KATOEY (since everyone told me that if a chick is gorgeous beyond belief, then it was a LADYBOY).
I got a collective scream from her friends, followed by laughter, hmm, she must be a girl...

At that point the lights came up, and Benz-Girl grabbed my arm and invited me to breakfast with her and her friends. I wasn't going anywhere with a strange chick in a weird city that I hadn't scoped out yet, so I declined. Besides, she was a broke bargirl and I pictured myself in a tuk-tuk with her wobbling down the road to some back alley dive where they would roll my rookie ass.

So, I lingered oustide the bar as she and her crew drifted away, while I scanned the stragglers for a victim to take upstairs. Damn, my old-ass boss scored a chick right away, and I feel like Charlie Brown at Halloween!

As I nursed my beer, one of the busboys came up and told me that I had to move along and finish my beer, and beckoned me to follow him. He led me around the corner to the elevators, where I behold Benz-Girl; she sent the flunkey to come get me. Hell, it must be my fate, so I went with the underprivileged bargirl.

Ha! We go down to the parking garage and she leads me to an immaculate black Benz E-class and hops in. Her compainions peel out in some Volvo's and Benzes as well, and her girlfriend hops in the back.

We hit the street, she has music blaring, her and her girlfriend are yammering in Thai, and she's nibbling my fingers whil driving at ferocious rate of speed down deserted Bangkok streets. Damn, I'm gonna die in a wreck with the gorgeous chick and I haven't even been in BKK for 4 hours!

We pull up to darkened street, hop out turn the corner and go into some Thai version of Denny's packed with people; her friends are already seated at a long table just grinning and eyeballing me as she leads me in. These Thai girls then proceed to order carts of shrimp, chicken rice and god knows what; Noky is feeding me, kissing me and yammering to her friends. After two hours of feeding guess who gets the bill? But hey, I just fed 10 Thai girls for less than $70US...They all give me sweet goodbyes and winks and blow kisses as they giggle at me and Benz-Girl as we walk out hand in hand. Finally, this chick is mine and I'm gonna get laid!

Wrong! She drops me back off at the Hyatt, gives me her number and says it's late, she has to get up early for work and PROMISES to spend the night with me tomorrow. I think, yeah right, and my name is Bill Clinton. The Benz peels off, the sun is coming up, and I skulk to my gorgeous room and spend my first night in LOS ALONE! Chump!

But wait, Benz-Girl did come through as promised the next night. Her and her little rich girlfriends came back to Spasso, I rolled in at 1AM after a day of soapies and touring with a cutie I met working in a shop at World Trade Center (different story) and after an hour of footing drinks for her 10 sexy freeloaders ($40 bar tab) I FINALLY got her to my room. She stripped to her thong, got in bed and PASSED THE HELL OUT! Great, i'm the CHUMP again.

Aha! But at about 7AM she stirred, hit the shower and started a fantastic BBBJ. I flipped and we did 69 for a while, then a popped on a magnum,had her straddle me, and wore that ass out (the soapie earlier in the day cleaned the old pipes)!

After satisfying m'lady, we knocked out in each others arms till about noon, then repeated our earlier performance, with much passionate french-kissing, a lot of oral and good old MONKEY-SEX.

We finally cleaned up around 4PM and hit the Club Level at the Hyatt (perk of the Hyatt Gold Passport) and noshed on the sumptuous buffet spread.
She finally left an hour later, giving me a very passionate French kiss leaning on her Benz. Her number is TATTOOED on my brain, I saw her again three months later on my second trip (week -long and another tale) and spoke to her las week as I prepare to launch back to LOS for much needed R&R because I'm in IRAQ right now. As soon as get back to the world and hi-speed internet access, I'll upload some pics of Benz-Girl and Mall Girl, both who I bedded without paying a single baht in BARFINE, TIP or CAB FARE. Why pay when you can get it free?

I hooked up with my boss at 5AM Monday for our 9AM flight, and his old ass is wore out. He said he got more ass in 3 days than he did in 3 months in the States (He barfined a pair of girls for two days from Cupidy massage!).

We American men, especially black men, have been flim-flammed, bamboozled, and hoodwinked by American women starting with our mothers. At this stage in my life, I can only maintain myself by visiting LOS at least once a year, and to spread the gospel of ASIAN MONGERING to every acolyte I can convert. And with CH, at last I have found KINDRED SPIRITS with whom I can hone my skills and enhance my future trips...many thanks, I'll be in LOS this May!

That was cool, and that's exactly how I feel about CH. Hope to meet up with you someday in LOS. Brother Mongerer.

blumpy--

welcome aboard, that was a GREAT short report! I like your writing style


a couple comments:

friends do indeed fall into the abyss in LoS... not me though... never...


a benz for a taxi? u gota be kidding me? a pooying with a benz emblem? Never in all my travels have I seen that... What did you do drop 1k baht notes along the way?


2800 baht for breakfast + bartab ain't FREE

You got a peck and hug goodnight? Bro, do me a favor and danza slap the next bitch who tries that!


Welcome aboard amigo-- I'm looking forward to the pics!

Fellas, thanks for the feedback,IŽm at Frankfurt airport waiting for my connection to BKK...in 10 hours. Then I have the 10 hour flight...iŽm gonna wash down some ambien with a cognac and hibernate!

IŽll be in BKK 3 -7 May with Wedge95, I plan to meet KTab27 and Dave the Rave.

DM-DonŽt worry, no more hotel Benzs for me! And on both trips back, Benz Girl was my first lay...does that make her my girlfriend?
FLASH! I nailed a Filipina worker in Kuwait for two days, just for McDonaldŽs. There are TONS of Filipina workers in Kuwait who are broke and lonely...ŽNuff said!

Great to meet u though hard to concentrate on speaking to you without staring at the honey with you. ( how do you manage to juggle all those hot thai babes) Had a great time with Dave the Rave, what a great host and he really rolls out the red carpet for CH"ers with great advice and local info. Strongly reccomended to all BKK visitors.
Am in Pattaya now pity your not here have private cobbana within hotel grounds for private parties excellent catering provided and ideal for 6 people
now i will have to find 5 girls to invite to my pool party !~ will let you know if I survive and will get you more info on your Irish relatives. hope alls well with you. Will be back to BKK for a week starting Monday ( oh and by the way pattaya way cheaper than BKK and no military so to speak of) As we say in Ireland "were not here for a longtime, were here for a goodtime" (seems to be our shared motto)
keep well and regards to your trip buddy a nice guy.

"Had a great time with Dave the Rave, what a great host and he really rolls out the red carpet for CH"ers with great advice and local info. Strongly recommended to all BKK visitors."

Dirty Denny, great to meet such a gentleman (I use the term loosely!) and many thanks mate for those very kind words. BTW the cheque is in the post LOL!

Great to meet Denny, Wedge & Blumpy, you are all cool guys it was great hanging out with you. Here are some photos of Miss Poppy

Photo: Miss Poppy

gone off Czechs (they are really Russians in disguise) saw a few in Pattaya at weekend
very un-impressed. Will be giving full details to any who may be interested in my future report of BKK vs Pattaya. My earlier message should have started Dear Blumby.

Seeing as you "Popped Poppy" Dirty Denny I have posted a photo from Hollywood Strip.

Photo: Miss Poppy & Miss Nok 1

Denny mate! I will look forward to seeing you tonight in Hollywood Carousel (probably). This is "Popular Poppy" with her friend Miss Nok...

Photo: Miss Poppy & Miss Nok 2

Denny, here is a photo of Miss Apple

Photo: Miss Apple 1

Miss "APPLE" outside Hollywood Strip

Photo: Miss Apple 2
Photo: Miss Apple 3
Photo: Miss Apple 4

Miss "Apple" in her schoolie attire...

Photo: Miss Apple 5

A close up shot of "Apple"

Photo: Miss Apple 6

Here is a naughty photo of Miss Apple showing a great ass!

Photo: Miss Apple 7

Apple doing her "bending over babe" pose...

Photo: Miss Apple 8

Smokin' hot ass pose

Photo: Miss Apple 9

"Apple" with her "rear of the year" entry...

Photo: Miss Apple 10

That girl Apple is as Japanese looking as they come, crooked teeth and all, she would make a fortune at the Rainbow establishments.

Yeh, but she was the most fun I had in BKK, so I'm glad she was Hollywoods!

Gents I've been busy at work, but I just had to show these Sweeties! Thanks Val you are such a great guy I would love to give the pussy to you free but I've not won the lottery yet! Dear Mr Blazers you have a discerning eye indeed as Don Marco has stated. How do you rate "Apple?" {BTW still waiting to meet Mr Blazers who I do look forward to meeting.} "Apple" has not got the best teeth but many guys say she offers the most fun and the best GFE experience you can get around. I have NEVER had a complaint about the "Apple of my eye" she is an exception I must admit in all honesty. I would cover my bets on "Apple" but wouldn't on certain others like Sai #133.

Mr Blazers, I do believe you are getting sweeter as your imminent arrival advances towards Thailand (LOL)! Quite a few CH guys have experienced the pleasures of the enchanting Miss Apple. Thank the Lord I can speak highly of a good performer (other than Super Stud Don Marco & Super Cool Khun Mor LOL!).

I will be there on May 20 but will arrive at 11:30, not likely to have time to make the 1am cut so will have to resort to the Nana parking lot, hopefully my jetlag wont affect my judgment. The next day i will be off to Pattaya but will arrive in BKK on May 28 for two nights...see you then DTR.

As I said before...Apple looks as if she would be a lot of fun to party with. Not my first pick in terms of the looks department (although a couple of the pics are great) but she has that something something. A little impish...I do not know.

Dave keep her warm for me...tell her we are partying all night in Dec at least once...she may be my New Year's date if she performs on date #1.

Ahem, Mr. Dave. The first rule of ass-taking photography: when the girl bends over and lifts up her skirt, the photographer drops to his knees and shoots from the ass level, or lower. Don't shoot standing up looking down!!!

Your homework assignment: take Ms. Apple out back and shoot again. From the knees man, from the knees!

Please post results here for grading.

better yet, I'll take the pics!

Even better - I'll take those ass-pics for ya on the 11th...

E

OK You Guys nailed me! I'm an amateur with my new Sony 4.1 Cyber-Shot. I only just got my first digital camera in January of this year, so thanks for the ass tips! Might take me 1000 shots to get it right. I've NEVER been so happy to have to keep repeating any one task!

Hi Blazers, perhaps we could meet even if it's late. You never know you could be into Soi Nana at a reasonable time. Just lately the police are closing NEP around 1.30am and there is talk of 2am closing coming back but not just yet. The times are getting a bit later, ie. 1.20-1.30am. Even if it's late I could take a stroll to Nana parking lot or coffee shop with you. I'll email you my cell phone number.

NB. Rainbow 4 has opened and customers are flocking to it. It's very nicely furbished, I'm not keen on the design but it's packed with pussy.

Denny is my hero! I had the hots for Apple as well, but took Pim instead. She was a lot of fun, smoking body, great dancer and very sweet...I'll add more details in my trip report!